Question for fathers

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xxyyzz wrote: »

Thanks. after 3 weeks surly midwives are the least of my problems Toughest 3 weeks of my life.

don't even dream of thinking it gets any easier.

I had my baby in Mount Carmel and the midwife showed my husband to the room I would be getting so he could get into bed and have a sleep while I was dozing after an epidural!
He got his own tea and toast too.

Nutgrover

I hope some under-understanding midfwives (or, better still women's hospital masters) are reading this thread and draw appropriate conlusion about room for improvement in this also-important issue. At the end of the (very long) day, what counts is that your new arrival is there & healthy. S/he needs you now! Welcome to the father's club, xxyyzz.

Jiggers77

The experience may be completely different in maternity services according to whether you are private, semi private or public. Not true in all hospitals but having worked in hospitals previously this could be said for a good few of them

Tombo2001

Have to laugh at the Question For Fathers being answered by all the mammies.

Yes, that is par for the course. You might as well not be there as far as the mid-wives are concerned.

To be fair to them, they have two very big responsibilities - the safety of the new born child and the safety and well being of the mother in labour. Personally, I can understand completely that they dont give a second thought to whether the Daddy is sitting comfortably, might like a slice of toast or whatever.

I think mid-wives do an astonishingly good job. In fact I think its the single most under-rated profession in this country; I was in awe of them.

Tabnabs

Both ours were delivered in Holles St and Dad's are firmly third on the list and sometimes barely tolerated. Interestingly during our last visit, I was given a form to fill out about this very subject and firmly made my feelings known. So at least Holles St may be coming round to the idea of the importance of dads.

I can confirm also that the single male toilet for an entire hospital is a joke and an embarrassment in modern Ireland.

And to the poster who complained about dads staying on too long with their partner and baby; seriously? There are a variety of very valid reasons why they may need to hang around and help out. That's a pretty selfish attitude in all fairness.

Finally a tip for dads, don't wander around the ward peeping in the curtains to see what's going on, it's both rude and invasive (and surprisingly common).

xxyyzz

Tombo2001 wrote: »

To be fair to them, they have two very big responsibilities - the safety of the new born child and the safety and well being of the mother in labour. Personally, I can understand completely that they dont give a second thought to whether the Daddy is sitting comfortably, might like a slice of toast or whatever.

In my original post I did mention that the midwives and doctors were absolutely exceptional during labour - I couldn't fault them.

My point was more to do with the 2 - 3 days in the post natal ward afterwards. As new parents we really didn't have a clue how to deal with the baby as no amount of books can prepare you for it so it is an important time for both parents for learning techniques for feeding/winding/changing etc. It doesn't help when the father is made to feel like a persona non-grata considering he is about to spend the best part of his life helping to bring up the child.

Tombo2001

xxyyzz wrote: »

In my original post I did mention that the midwives and doctors were absolutely exceptional during labour - I couldn't fault them.

My point was more to do with the 2 - 3 days in the post natal ward afterwards. As new parents we really didn't have a clue how to deal with the baby as no amount of books can prepare you for it so it is an important time for both parents for learning techniques for feeding/winding/changing etc. It doesn't help when the father is made to feel like a persona non-grata considering he is about to spend the best part of his life helping to bring up the child.

I'd agree with that completely....

My impression of the mid-wives would have been that they did a brilliant job during child birth.

However the care thereafter I'd be much less generous on.

One example:

My missus was trying to learn breast feeding......the advice she was getting from the nurses/ midwives was all over the shop....completely inconsistent.

But in retrospect, its the few hours of labour that is burned into my memory, not day 2 or day 3.

Irishcrx

Had my little fella in the Rotunda and found all the staff excellent throughout, I didn't notice the midwives being rude to me when I was in. To be honest even if they were I was on cloud nine so I wouldn't have noticed....but no actually thinking back (Was only 7 month's ago but feels like forever) they were quite good, I got tea and a bottle making class!