11 year old sister roleplaying online

LegacyUser

My sister an I have just found out that my 11 yo sister has created a secret account on instagram that states she's "open to roleplay"

I'm part of a number of different communities online so I know what this means but unfortunately my Mom doesn't and completely disregards it. I've tried to explain that's it's dangerous, especially for an 11 year old to be doing, she could be talking to strangers pretending to be much younger etc.

She has joined instant messaging services before and chatted frequently to strangers online but we deleted her account and my Mom claimed to have dealt with that.



My main concern is mainly that she might have other accounts on other services to roleplay with strangers and I want to find the best way to explain these dangers to my Mom to make her understand that this is a serious issue.

Any suggestions on what I can do?

LegacyUser

i know someone who teaches in a secondary school, and she told me about this forensic psychologist who came to the school to give a talk on online safety both to parents and the stdents. have a look on their website and see if there's any helpful links - http://www.isfsi.ie/#/links/4555152007

you HAVE GOT to get across to your mother how dangerous it is for an 11 year old, and disregard anyone who tells you otherwise. my own personal opinion is that an 11 year old should not have this kind of unsupervised access to the internet, maybe possibly a phone that can call and text only, but not an internet enabled phone with a camera and access to instagram, and certainly not the ability to use it unsupervised. at 11 you simply don't have the level of emotional maturity or safety savvy, end of. so if i was her mother it'd be phone taken off her, internet on a family computer in the sitting room where i can see what's on the screen at all times, all access to all passwords, and access to a phone that can call and text only - and i'd have access to that too and check messages and calls. she's a child, your mother is the parent, now is not the time to turn a blind eye or as you said disregard it, this needs to be nipped in the bud immediately.

ivytwine

Have you talked to your sister about this and explained the dangers involved?

Morag

What type roleplay?
I would automatically assume that's it's anyway sexual in nature.
There are many types of roleplay and most are dungeon and dragons type stuff and they are played on a whole range of different website and social networks.

thefeatheredcat

How internet savy is your mother for a start? Is she herself a regular user beyond email or facebook?

The website suggested by voiceofreasonhere is a great start. Seek out others like that, see if there are any organised talks for parents about children and the internet and internet safety, encourage your mother to go to them. It is all quite topical, from general safety to cyber bullying and most parents with children of a similar age to your sister may have dealt with it, or have had information through school about it. Does the primary school offer anything for the parents about internet safety or have anything about it? Even the secondary schools might.

The basic danger in an 11 year old posting online that they are "open to roleplay" is obvious - as an adult (and female btw), roleplay I would understand would be within a sexual context first, then perhaps as a game (as already suggested) like Dungeons and Dragons, and both are drawn from my own personal experiences. But I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that it would be the equivalent of being in First Class with the empty milk and yoghurt cartons playing "shop" i.e. imaginary role play generally associated with being a child. Given that all social networking sites - Instagram included - you have to be 13 years of age, I understand some allow for under 18s to be relatively hidden to the over 18 user group in safety features. I suppose all that is site dependent, but as it stands your sister, if signed up to Instagram is in violation of terms anyway.
The more obvious danger is translating the online aspect to offline to meet up to "role play" - any parent should be aware of that for any child, and both parent and child should be aware that is something that can crop up as an issue, regardless as to anything.

Probably a good approach is with both your mother and sister is explain some of your experiences online, if you're willing to share them. It might have a greater impact for your mother to see greater issues with unsupervised access for your sister on sites not designed specifically with children in mind.

I think yourself sitting down with your sister and getting an idea of her understanding of interacting on the internet and discussing internet safety with her might be a great idea. Most networking websites these days have in place safety guidelines for users, especially where users are as young as 13 (and generally often are under that age too, sometimes in my experience with the consent of parents in fabricating the age which I disagree with) which is also something that you can go through with her.

I also think your mother might want to ask herself about roleplaying itself - is this something that her friends also do (regardless of context)? Is it common in the school? Perhaps if that is the case, it is something that the parents should have a collective discussion about and monitor for other similar trends.