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Invited to the US but still unsure what it means...advice please

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  • 06-06-2013 4:26pm
    #1
    jmagee13
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭


    ok background is... been seeing guy for past 2 months or so
    he is now gone to US on j1 and we knew this from when we met
    all going great - get on really well etc but decided to not start going out or that before he headed off for 3 months
    I kind of realised I liked him more than I thought I did then you know.
    anyway before he headed off few weeks ago there was a bit of 'im going to miss you' from both sides etc and 'i really like you' but still felt it was not fair to start going out.
    we have been talking pretty much daily since he left.
    now he has said a number of times about me going over and I have kind of laughed it off...but now he has said no im serious you should come over for a week or that?????
    I know he likes me but does he just want me to come over for the laugh and fun or does it mean anything more....like there was still no mention about going out or that?
    We have both kind of said we dont want to be with other people but he said 3 months is a long time and things could change (this was before I was thinking of coming over)
    But if i go over should i expect him to say something about a relationship or? i mean its a long way to go etc....
    sorry for the rant.....
    any advice would be great!!!! Thanks!!!
    Tagged:


Comments

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    #2
    wallycharlo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭wallycharlo


    jmagee13 wrote: »
    ...any advice would be great!!!! Thanks!!!

    Go for it.

    Carpe Diem and all that :-)


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    #3
    Merkin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    I'd go for it as well! Go and enjoy every moment and don't over think it :)


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    #4
    Meauldsegosha
    Registered Users Posts: 7,598 ✭✭✭Meauldsegosha


    Go for it OP. Go, enjoy yourself don't worry about labels like "relationship".


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    #5
    Irish_Elect_Eng
    Registered Users Posts: 1,260 ✭✭✭Irish_Elect_Eng


    Get thee to the Travel Agent immediately.


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    #6
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I can't really be like the others and say "just go for it". It's better to be realistic, OP. Don't just go for it. Take time, look into a back-up plan. There's no way to guarantee that the relationship will work and, if it doesn't, it won't be nice to be stuck in a country you don't know. Look into how you'd get back and figure it out, then go. There's no reason why not.


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    #7
    Meauldsegosha
    Registered Users Posts: 7,598 ✭✭✭Meauldsegosha


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    I can't really be like the others and say "just go for it". It's better to be realistic, OP. Don't just go for it. Take time, look into a back-up plan. There's no way to guarantee that the relationship will work and, if it doesn't, it won't be nice to be stuck in a country you don't know. Look into how you'd get back and figure it out, then go. There's no reason why not.

    He wants her to visit for a week or so while he's there not move permanently.


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    #8
    mygoat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 63 ✭✭mygoat


    What it means is that he likes you, he misses you and he wants to spend time with you. You are in such a lovely situation, don't spoil it by overthinking it! You've only known one another for a few months, so you are still learning about each other. If you go for a visit (and I strongly suggest that you do!), don't expect that he asks you to be in a relationship with him. These kind of expectations tend to make us tense, and they ruin all the fun. Go with the expectation of getting to know him in a new situation, and focus on enjoying yourself.

    Stay honest with each other; keep telling each other how you feel and what you think about what's going on between you - just as you've done so far. If you are right for each other, soon enough it will become obvious to both of you.

    All the best, OP. You seem to share something special with this man - enjoy it!


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    #9
    jmagee13
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭jmagee13


    ok so ive booked it and im heading over

    i wish i was cooler but im not so can i ask some more advice from you all............
    i know im overthinking and reading into things but
    the first week or so he went there was good bit of communic/ few i miss yous and 'xxxx' etc
    but now in last 2 wks havent been chatting much at all (which is grand coz i know he away n busy with work n having the craic)....
    but its more the way he has been....no more 'xx' or anything like that...he seems a lot more distant......
    i just dont wanna go over and look like a fool you know?
    im not expecting that he proclaim his love for me or anything but just for it to be as it was before he left.....but he doesnt seem as bothered .......
    awwwhhhh i know im overthinking but cant help it!!!!


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    #10
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,657 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    <Deleted because Systemic Risk is right>


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    #11
    Systemic Risk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 217 ✭✭Systemic Risk


    <snipped>

    No disrespect faith but you have no clue what this guy is thinking and responfing like this to the op when she has flights booked is quite cruel. You could cause her to go over for what should be a great week away feeling akward.

    Op dont worry about it, go over there to have the craic in the states. Have a great holiday and im sure the group he hanging out with will be lovely to u. Ivedone erasmus abroad and whenever a friend or romantic interest of one of lads visited we made sure they were welcomed. Hopefully something will come out of it with this guy but just go over to have fun, be yourself and dont worry bout a thing. Best of luck, im jealous cos i aint getting holiday this summer


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    #12
    jmagee13
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭jmagee13


    ha well i'd read it before you deleted it faith
    look its fine...it was a bit much to presume you knew what he was thinking but accept your blatent honesty
    chatted to him and he has said he was worried bout me staying in the house coz he sharing room etc and worried about what id do when he is working
    i think i was just reading into it a bit and overthinking but fine now
    thanks for all the posts
    looking forward to it now
    :)


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