What would you do in this situation?

Prettyblack

So you are having a birthday party at one of those play places for your child, with classmates invited. Your child's friend arrives with parent, who drops the child off and says they'll be back at the agreed ending time. Grand.

Only, towards the end a grandparent arrives and says they are collecting the child, and was asked to do so by the parent. The child runs to the grandparent ("Nana!") and seems happy to see them. All very natural and legit. (You may have even seen the grandparent once before). Do you:

1. Let the grandparent take the child;
2. Call the parent to confirm the arrangement?

What if you choose 2. but can't get through to the parent?

Wise Old Elf

Prettyblack wrote: »

So you are having a birthday party at one of those play places for your child, with classmates invited. Your child's friend arrives with parent, who drops the child off and says they'll be back at the agreed ending time. Grand.

Only, towards the end a grandparent arrives and says they are collecting the child, and was asked to do so by the parent. The child runs to the grandparent ("Nana!") and seems happy to see them. All very natural and legit. (You may have even seen the grandparent once before). Do you:

1. Let the grandparent take the child;
2. Call the parent to confirm the arrangement?

What if you choose 2. but can't get through to the parent?

Ouch, tough one. On first thoughts, if I recognised the grandparent, I'd be inclined to go ahead and let the child go, but I think 2 is the better option.
I really don't know what I'd do if I couldn't get through to the parent (which means this is probably a pointless answer!).

On a similar note, the creche my two are in have collection slips that if it's not myself or my wife collecting them, we have to sign a slip stating who will before they'll let them go.

January

I'd probably let them go with the grand parent to be fair. If the parent didn't want the child going with anyone else they should have told you when dropping them off.

Moonbeam

I would ring the parents before I let them go if they did not answer I would only let them go if I knew the grandparent well from the school gates

beazee

I'd let the child go with the grandparent based on the fact the person was recognized by the child and the child is happy to see Nana!

What if the person is recognized (Nana!) but the child is afraid of her?

Big Bag of Chips

I'd let them go. A kids' party situation is different to a creche/childminder situation, in my opinion.

You are there as a parent, entertaining their child for a couple of hours. If they want nobody but themselves to collect their child, then it's up to them to inform you.

Although I think it would be very unfair of a parent to put another parent in a situation where they would be expected to refuse to hand over a child. If there is a risk of someone taking the child who isn't supposed to, it should be up to the parent to stay and supervise their own child.

So, in summary... I'd let the child go.

Maybe I'm in a minority, but if someone other than the parent arrived to collect a child from a party, I wouldn't immediately think there was anything sinister going on. I'd assume the person was there on the say so of the parent.

Prettyblack

Still... you never know though. Never what might have been going on in the background. I would call the parent and explain to the grandparent that the child, for the duration of the party, was / is under my car and I'm only going on what the parent said, that they'd be back to collect them.

Generally speaking though I think most parents are responsible enough to either tell you the grandparent would come collect them, or call ahead and explain it would be happening.

Though in some cases this may not be possible. Its a tough one really.

Chocolate fiend

What if you didn't get through to the parent what would you do then? Would you hold onto the child and perhaps even take them home with you, or drop them off at their parents house? What if you did not have enough car seats?

Sleepy

Unless I'd been asked not to release the child to anyone other than the parent who'd dropped them off or, as mentioned, the child was upset by the grandparent's presence, I wouldn't think twice about it tbh.

ash23

With a -party situation, how would a grandparent know the time and place of a party unless they were told? So it's not like school or creche where it's a "same time, same place" kind of thing. And if it was at the time that the party was due to end and the grandparent was being shady, the parent would arrive at the same time too, no?

I'd let the child go and perhaps text the parent to let them know the child was collected ok.

Jiggers77

Prettyblack wrote: »

So you are having a birthday party at one of those play places for your child, with classmates invited. Your child's friend arrives with parent, who drops the child off and says they'll be back at the agreed ending time. Grand.

Only, towards the end a grandparent arrives and says they are collecting the child, and was asked to do so by the parent. The child runs to the grandparent ("Nana!") and seems happy to see them. All very natural and legit. (You may have even seen the grandparent once before). Do you:

1. Let the grandparent take the child;
2. Call the parent to confirm the arrangement?

What if you choose 2. but can't get through to the parent?

Easy really no doubt in my mind! Don't let child go with Granny or Grandad! You have know idea if things are amicable between parents or grandparents or even if the grandparent is a total nut job! Check with parents and if you can't reach them hang on to that kid

Prettyblack

Jiggers77 wrote: »

Easy really no doubt in my mind! Don't let child go with Granny or Grandad! You have know idea if things are amicable between parents or grandparents or even if the grandparent is a total nut job! Check with parents and if you can't reach them hang on to that kid

Yeah that would be my natural inclination. You never know what's going on.

Was a fair point about it being a party and the grandparent knowing the time / location, rather than a school; but then again the grandparent could've been following the parent; could've called the place to ask what time the party is over... so many cases of relatives "kidnapping" kids and taking them away to live with them.

You just wouldn't know really. And you'd be beside yourself if something went bad. I would err on the side of caution, OK sorry for the inconvience caused, but in this day and age... its an unfortunate necessity.

Big Bag of Chips

Can I ask is this something you were faced with Prettyblack? If so how did you handle it?

December2012

If I was the parent of the guest child, and another parent refused to give my child to a grandparent / relative or person that I had arranged to collect my kid, I would have no problem with the hosting parent not releasing my child until they spoke with me if they had a concern.

Really it's up to me to tell the host who'll be collecting so they are not in that position. I would always prefer caution.

I can't imagine a parent getting annoyed at that.

Prettyblack

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Can I ask is this something you were faced with Prettyblack? If so how did you handle it?

No never. Was just curious.