Okay. This I condone.

Jimmy 5F

starling wrote: »

It was quite obviously implied since the entire discussion is about an incident that involves sexual behaviour, and yes, you should have known. Instead of insulting everyone who disagrees with you, try making a point with actual logic.

Logic does not apply to those who complain of "rape culture".

spankysue

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

Did his Mother deserve to be sent a cock picture?

No, but neither did the woman he sent it to either

thiarfearr

starling wrote: »

That's not what she was doing. Rape culture is the culture around male-female relations that encourages men to see women as not having the right to say "no." The concept of "rape culture" has absolutely nothing to do with equating sexual harrassment with rape.
In this case what it means is "Trevor's" reaction to being told she doesn't want to receive pictures of some total stranger's knob: instead of saying "sorry, I thought it was okay" he just completely dismissed her by calling her a prude and insulting her. It's a general disrespect thing that she was talking about, not the pic itself.

Are all those soppy romcoms where the lad tries to win the girl over all a part of 'rape culture' too?

Jimmy 5F

spankysue wrote: »

No, but neither did the woman he sent it to either

So she is a class A hypocrite.

starling

OnTheCouch wrote: »

Even though I think she was perpetuating the 'two wrongs don't make a right' mantra by sending his pic onto his mother, it is very hard to feel any sympathy for this man.

To play devil's advocate here, we don't know the full story between them, nor are we privy to the contents of their entire correspondence. What seems obvious is that they had spoken before the messages included in this article. Now one could perhaps at a stretch think that maybe he is a bit simple and got the wrong end of the stick. He may have thought for whatever reason she wanted to see a picture of his private parts due to something she said or insinuated previously.

However, once she made it perfectly clear that this was the last thing she wanted to observe, he should have profusely apologised for causing any embarrassment. I'm sure she would have deleted him anyway at this point, but at least that would have been the end of it. But for him then to dig a huge hole for himself by acting like she was in the wrong and starting to insulting her, as starling said above, he really cannot complain about what she did after that. For he proved himself to be first and foremost incapable of picking up on her intentions, but also an extremely rude individual with no intelligence or manners to speak of.

This is why, even though I think she should have just deleted him from her contacts and moved on (which she may in retrospect regret doing), one can easily see why she reacted in such a manner.

I don't see any evidence that they'd had previous interaction. They are both members of the same dating site, it's not like she personally gave him her number. She says she doesn't know him, I don't see any reason not to believe her.
If he did know her, surely he would have known she didn't want a picture of his dick. I mean there are two possible scenarios here:
1. They know each other or have interacted before the messages we've seen, and she told him she wanted to see his dick, and then when he sent a picture she suddenly decided she didn't want to see it after all, so she publishe it on the Internet
2. They are total strangers, he got her contact info from the dating site along with her location, and when she didn't answer his texts, decided to send a picture of his dick, at which stage she replied to tell him his message was unwelcome.
I mean honestly which is more likely? Cause scenario 2 is very common, according to women I know.

B0jangles

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

Logic does not apply to those who complain of "rape culture".

Profound ignorance of what the term actually describes never seems to stop people from having very loudly expressed opinions on it.

Camrat

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

So she is a class A hypocrite.

Classic two wrongs don't make a right

Really wish trevor had posted in Confession time thread.....!!!

starling

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

Logic does not apply to those who complain of "rape culture".

Again, you can insult everyone who disagrees with you, but you seem incapable of backing up your opinion with anything resembling logic. Have you any actual points to make or are you only interested in whining about feminism?

starling

thiarfearr wrote: »

Are all those soppy romcoms where the lad tries to win the girl over all a part of 'rape culture' too?

If you understood what rape culture was, you wouldn't ask that question. I have never seen a soppy romcom in which a bloke sends a picture of his mickey to a stranger, calls her a prude when she objects, and ends up marrying her.

spankysue

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

So she is a class A hypocrite.

And he's a disgusting fool. Like I said, if you're not prepared for everyone to see the pics you send, don't send them, it's really that simple.

And to be fair, his mother would have definitely seen it before anyway. All she was exposed to was her sons idiocy.

Jimmy 5F

Camrat wrote: »

Classic two wrongs don't make a right situation,

Really wish trevor had posted in Confession time thread.....!!!

It's worse than two wrongs, an innocent mother bore the brunt of her revenge.

Jimmy 5F

starling wrote: »

Again, you can insult everyone who disagrees with you, but you seem incapable of backing up your opinion with anything resembling logic. Have you any actual points to make or are you only interested in whining about feminism?

Quote me once where I mentioned feminism?

ScumLord

starling wrote: »

If you understood what rape culture was, you wouldn't ask that question. I have never seen a soppy romcom in which a bloke sends a picture of his mickey to a stranger, calls her a prude when she objects, and ends up marrying her.

No, he usually does something like take a bet to bed her, then she puts on makeup to become pretty like the other popular girls and then they get married because she's no longer going to be a weird girl that likes non girly things.

Camrat

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

It's worse than two wrongs, an innocent mother bore the brunt of her revenge.

Yeah, but i bet he didn't do it again. So saving more women going through the same.

Gorilla Rising

spankysue wrote: »

No, but neither did the woman he sent it to either

And she was so disgusted by it (perpetuating rape culture etc :rolleyes:), she turned around and did the exact same thing - to his mother.

I guess she was perpetuating incestuous culture/rape between a mother and son as well.

omega666

If you look at the screenshots you can see the they dont match up.
She had obviously ommited some parts of the conversation.
In the last screenshot at the top you can see there's a purple reply from her that's not in the screen before it. Also there looks to be more messages at the start. Wonder why she felt the need to not show the whole conversation.

MickFleetwood

Rape culture? The fúck?

spankysue

Gorilla Rising wrote: »

And she was so disgusted by it (perpetuating rape culture etc :rolleyes:), she turned around and did the exact same thing - to his mother.

I guess she was perpetuating incestuous culture/rape between a mother and son as well.

I actually thought her rape culture comment was a bit much meself, I never once said I agreed with that at all. I didn't even mention it.

Crooked Jack

starling wrote: »

Did you actually read what I said? It's the notion that men have a "right" to treat women this way that makes rape culture. It's the notion that if a woman objects to being harrassed she is a "prude" that makes rape culture. It's a basic refusal to respect women.

This is why the rape culture argument loses all credibility. "Men" dont think that, this dickhead did. Jesus, can you imagine the sh!t storm if somebody came on here claiming all women did something?

up for anything

Crooked Jack wrote: »

So she protests being sent an unsolicited dick pic by.........sending an unsolicited dick pic?
This is what feminism has become.

She's also belittling rape victims with her references to "rape culture"

DarkJager wrote: »

That's one feminist who's going to have a long lonely life with her cats and vibrator for company. ****ing fool.

The above posts amongst others making me think that there is good reason for becoming a militant, caricature type feminazi. Sounds like the type of shite mouthed back in the 70s.

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

There's a slight difference between being forced to witness the human body on a phone and being forced to have sex.

There is a huge difference but if some people feel that it's ok to invade a stranger's privacy online or by phone, then it's not such a far step that they should eventually think it's ok to invade a stranger's privacy in person.

A Neurotic wrote: »

What? No. Sending a nude picture as an attempt (however misguided) at flirting does not strip any power from the recipient. If anything it gives them power over the sender, as was seen here. If she wasn't interested, she could easily have rolled her eyes, deleted the whole thing and carried on with her life.

It strips internal power for some women even as they laugh and shrug it off and delete the photo.

I've only had a few unsolicited, lechy PMs on this site but they do serve to make me feel soiled and not just at the time of receiving but when for what ever reason they may cross my mind again. One poster thought it was ok to send me an unsolicited. opening PM suggesting that I like my men to be stern and firm with me! FFS, bog off! I figured out it was based on what I had posted TIC in one of those strange/celebrity people you fancy threads. Just a minor thing in the greater scheme of things but it has had an effect on me.

starling wrote: »

Did you actually read what I said? It's the notion that men have a "right" to treat women this way that makes rape culture. It's the notion that if a woman objects to being harrassed she is a "prude" that makes rape culture. It's a basic refusal to respect women.

I fully agree with you there. The term rape culture, for me, covers a huge amount of stuff which differs from country to country and differs in intensity but which all go to serve towards people thinking that behave towards other people as they like and in total disregard of their victims' rights, feelings or wishes.

Crooked Jack

spankysue wrote: »

No, but neither did the woman he sent it to either

Oh. So two wrongs DO make a right. Moral maths is hard.

Crooked Jack

B0jangles wrote: »

Profound ignorance of what the term actually describes never seems to stop people from having very loudly expressed opinions on it.

What it supposedly describes has been explained several times in several threads. It's still complete and utter bullsh!t and particularly insulting to women in countries where an actual rape culture exists

AnonoBoy

Although when his mother protested about getting the pic it's unlikely that her son then called her a prude, asked was it too big for her and then said it's no wonder she's alone.

Although going by what a cretinous moron he seems to be it wouldn't surprise me all that much if he had.

Still cracks me up to imagine the simpering little moron sh*tting himself cause his Mammy might find out he was bold. :pac:

Crooked Jack

up for anything wrote: »

The above posts amongst others making me think that there is good reason for becoming a militant, caricature type feminazi. Sounds like the type of shite mouthed back in the 70s.

So you condone a woman sending unsolicited dick pics, but condemn a man. You'd fit right in with the other

militant, caricature type feminazis

OnTheCouch

starling wrote: »

I don't see any evidence that they'd had previous interaction. They are both members of the same dating site, it's not like she personally gave him her number. She says she doesn't know him, I don't see any reason not to believe her.
If he did know her, surely he would have known she didn't want a picture of his dick. I mean there are two possible scenarios here:
1. They know each other or have interacted before the messages we've seen, and she told him she wanted to see his dick, and then when he sent a picture she suddenly decided she didn't want to see it after all, so she publishe it on the Internet
2. They are total strangers, he got her contact info from the dating site along with her location, and when she didn't answer his texts, decided to send a picture of his dick, at which stage she replied to tell him his message was unwelcome.
I mean honestly which is more likely? Cause scenario 2 is very common, according to women I know.

I was going to reply with essentially what omega666 has written below. It also looks like the conversation is part of a private number/Facebook scrolling chat as opposed to a random email, but I could be wrong here.

When she says she doesn't know him, I understood that to mean she doesn't know him well, i.e. they have probably spoken once or twice at most previously, but not for any great length of time.

Had she not known him at all, I suspect she would have said something along the lines of 'you just randomly message strangers with this' or 'do you do this to all the girls you speak to for the first time?'

Think you should have a '3.' in your list, (which I mentioned above) where they had spoken before, she at no point wanted to see his dick, although may have hinted at something sexual perhaps. So he thought she did and just put it out there when the conversation went quiet which is where we see things from then on.

omega666 wrote: »

If you look at the screenshots you can see the they dont match up.
She had obviously ommited some parts of the conversation.
In the last screenshot at the top you can see there's a purple reply from her that's not in the screen before it. Also there looks to be more messages at the start. Wonder why she felt the need to not show the whole conversation.

thiarfearr

Rapists are among the most reviled people in society, just below pedophiles, how exactly is there a rape culture being promoted?

SV

He's a dickhead.
She's an idiot.


Noone comes off well in this story.

Crooked Jack

starling wrote: »

If you understood what rape culture was, you wouldn't ask that question. I have never seen a soppy romcom in which a bloke sends a picture of his mickey to a stranger, calls her a prude when she objects, and ends up marrying her.

Have you ever seen one where the woman initially rejects the man's advances but he perseveres (ie - all of them.) This is what the poster was referring to and you know it. You then changed it to specifically dick pics because your argument fell apart when the poster asked that question

starling

ScumLord wrote: »

No, he usually does something like take a bet to bed her, then she puts on makeup to become pretty like the other popular girls and then they get married because she's no longer going to be a weird girl that likes non girly things.

I'm not a fan of romcoms, frankly I think they are offensive sh1te, but the synopsis you poste doesn't have anything to do with the concept of rape culture.
Here is a link that might help you understand better what rape culture is:
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3368577

c_man

If he was a stranger, how did she have his name...?

starling

OnTheCouch wrote: »

I was going to reply with essentially what omega666 has written below. It also looks like the conversation is part of a private number/Facebook scrolling chat as opposed to a random email, but I could be wrong here.

When she says she doesn't know him, I understood that to mean she doesn't know him well, i.e. they have probably spoken once or twice at most previously, but not for any great length of time.

Had she not known him at all, I suspect she would have said something along the lines of 'you just randomly message strangers with this' or 'do you do this to all the girls you speak to for the first time?'

Think you should have a '3.' in your list, (which I mentioned above) where they had spoken before, she at no point wanted to see his dick, although may have hinted at something sexual perhaps. So he thought she did and just put it out there when the conversation went quiet which is where we see things from then on.

Hm scenario 3 that you describe would still be out of line IMO because unless she's specifically asked for a dick pic he's being an @rsehole by just sending one. He's texted her about the weather and she hasn't responded, that's hardly an invitation to show her his mickey.
I just don't see why she would have any reason to make it up. I know we're only getting her version of events but why would you ask someone for a dick pic and then complain?
Her version of events - random stranger sends dick pic and lashes out at the recipient when she objects - is a much more likely scenario than anything else IMO, because it is a very common one.

up for anything

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

It's worse than two wrongs, an innocent mother bore the brunt of her revenge.

Haha! The way you say innocent mother. I think you'll find that most mothers while they might not like it would be able for it without crumpling into a little heap. I love the idea running through the thread that his mother is an elderly, frail, little, white haired old lady type who would be shocked to the core to receive such a picture of her son. I believe most parents know their children better than their kids think they do and that while they might give the illusion of being shocked on finding out things their children have done it would generally only be an illusion.

starling

c_man wrote: »

If he was a stranger, how did she have his name...?

They were members of the same dating site, which is where he would have got her number and some details about her like the fact that she lives in long island. His name would appear whenever he sent a text according to the settings of his iPhone, it's not necessary for him to be in her phones contacts afaik

WilyCoyote

I think that some of the girls here have a touch of the Andrea Dworkin Syndrome. Manufactured disgust of those self-perceived to be downtrodden.

During an interview with that domestic goddess twisted shrew:

Q: People think you are very hostile to men.
A: I am.

SparkySpitfire

Killer Wench wrote: »

An attempt at flirting? Sending a picture of your naked body and penis to a woman who did not respond to your previous texts is an attempt at flirting?

OFFS, things are a hell of a lot worse than I could ever imagine.

Seriously, with every person who tries to tell you you're wrong, a part of my soul dies a little.

Do you people realise that you're so blind to this "rape culture" because you're so used to it that you can't even recognise an example when you see one.

starling

Crooked Jack wrote: »

What it supposedly describes has been explained several times in several threads. It's still complete and utter bullsh!t and particularly insulting to women in countries where an actual rape culture exists

Wait, so rape culture is BS, but it exists in certain countries? What exactly is your definition of rape culture because I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing here

starling

SparkySpitfire wrote: »

Seriously, with every person who tries to tell you you're wrong, a part of my soul dies a little.

Do you people realise that you're so blind to this "rape culture" because you're so used to it that you can't even recognise an example when you see one.

+1
These things can be harder to see when you're surrounded by them. It's insidious.

starling

WilyCoyote wrote: »

I think that some of the girls here have a touch of the Andrea Dworkin Syndrome. Manufactured disgust of those self-perceived to be downtrodden.

During an interview with that domestic goddess twisted shrew:

Q: People think you are very hostile to men.
A: I am.

Are you trying to imply that anyone who dislikes getting unsolicited pictures of a stranger's lad is a man hating "twisted shrew"? That's ridiculous. Feminists don't hate men. They hate sexism.
Andrea Dworkin's personal life was marked by sexual assault and she learned to distrust men in general. There is no reason to imply we all have that view.

AnonoBoy

Crooked Jack wrote: »

Have you ever seen one where the woman initially rejects the man's advances but he perseveres (ie - all of them.)

Reminds me of this: http://www.theonion.com/articles/romanticcomedy-behavior-gets-reallife-man-arrested,757/

up for anything

Crooked Jack wrote: »

So you condone a woman sending unsolicited dick pics, but condemn a man. You'd fit right in with the other

Really, where did I suggest that? I was referring to the content of your post rather than what she did.

starling

up for anything wrote: »

Haha! The way you say innocent mother. I think you'll find that most mothers while they might not like it would be able for it without crumpling into a little heap. I love the idea running through the thread that his mother is an elderly, frail, little, white haired old lady type who would be shocked to the core to receive such a picture of her son. I believe most parents know their children better than their kids think they do and that while they might give the illusion of being shocked on finding out things their children have done it would generally only be an illusion.

Exactly.
Besides which, receiving a message along the lines of "This is how your son treats women" which includes a naked picture of him is not the same as having a random stranger send you a picture of his mickey and continue to harass you when you tell him to stop. It is disingenuous to accuse the woman of the "same" crime as Trevor. They're not the same thing at all.
I would live to know what the mother's reaction was

starling

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Reminds me of this: http://www.theonion.com/articles/romanticcomedy-behavior-gets-reallife-man-arrested,757/

Hahaha that's one of the reasons I don't like romcoms, they're forever showing people doing creepy sh1t and pretending it's "romantic." (Its also one of the many, many reasons Twilight is so fúcking awful, Edward is your classic abusive control freak, and people think he's some kind of ideal boyfriend).

SV

starling wrote: »

Are you trying to imply that anyone who dislikes getting unsolicited pictures of a stranger's lad is a man hating "twisted shrew"? That's ridiculous. Feminists don't hate men. They hate sexism.
Andrea Dworkin's personal life was marked by sexual assault and she learned to distrust men in general. There is no reason to imply we all have that view.

I don't think that was the implication at all, it's simply her attitude towards men that makes her a twisted shrew.
Modern day feminism does not seem to work like that. Modern day feminists seem to be (at least the vocal majority) man haters.

starling

Crooked Jack wrote: »

This is why the rape culture argument loses all credibility. "Men" dont think that, this dickhead did. Jesus, can you imagine the sh!t storm if somebody came on here claiming all women did something?

I never said that "all men" think that way. In fact many women unconsciously buy into and perpetuate rape culture by engaging in slut-shaming or victim blaming.

Crooked Jack

starling wrote: »

Wait, so rape culture is BS, but it exists in certain countries? What exactly is your definition of rape culture because I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing here

something like this - http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/vigilantes-are-fighting-back-against-sexual-harassment-in-egypt - is indicative of an actual rape culture within a society. A place where rape is not seen as a serious offence and women are harassed on the street. Stuff like that.
Calling a dick picture or some guy asking you out to dance again after you said no the first time is not rape culture and claiming is belittles the experiences of women who have actually suffered it.
Now i know you're going to come back with this daft definition of rape culture that some people on here like to throw around but the fact is if you are going to associate something with rape it better damn well reflect the seriousness of that heinous crime.

WilyCoyote

WilyCoyote wrote: »

I think that some of the girls here have a touch of the Andrea Dworkin Syndrome. Manufactured disgust of those self-perceived to be downtrodden.

During an interview with that domestic goddess twisted shrew:

Q: People think you are very hostile to men.
A: I am.

starling wrote: »

Are you trying to imply that anyone who dislikes getting unsolicited pictures of a stranger's lad is a man hating "twisted shrew"? That's ridiculous. Feminists don't hate men. They hate sexism.
Andrea Dworkin's personal life was marked by sexual assault and she learned to distrust men in general. There is no reason to imply we all have that view.

Just look at the highlighted.

The only feminist that openly says sweet things about men is Camille Paglia AFAIK. This is the reason that she is mistrusted by other feminists both radical and moderate.

Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.
Camille Paglia

Camrat

most men think monogamy is a type of wood.....

starling

SV wrote: »

I don't think that was the implication at all, it's simply her attitude towards men that makes her a twisted shrew.
Modern day feminism does not seem to work like that. Modern day feminists seem to be (at least the vocal majority) man haters.

That is a tired and inaccurate stereotype. A "modern day feminist" is someone who hates sexism and unfair treatment of women. If you are Reading "man hate" into what they say it's down to your own personal bias against feminists. Feminism actually helps men by challenging the narrow definition of "manliness" that is pushed on men.

B0jangles

starling wrote: »

That is a tired and inaccurate stereotype. A "modern day feminist" is someone who hates sexism and unfair treatment of women. If you are Reading "man hate" into what they say it's down to your own personal bias against feminists. Feminism actually helps men by challenging the narrow definition of "manliness" that is pushed on men.

I think this is a pretty good summation of what modern feminism is broadly about:

http://suzeart.tumblr.com/post/49225090860/a-list-of-mens-rights-issues-that-feminism-is

anncoates

If she's offended by unsolicited cock pics why does she have then send unsolicited cock pics to an elderly woman she doesn't know?