Cat and new babies

Hello Lady!

Hi Folks,

My cat is nearly 3 years old and is the most adorable, sweet natured cat. She is very affectionate, has no wild streak, gives kisses on command, has never scratched, bitten or even hissed at me. She is an absolute dote, and I love her to bits. I have had her since she was 5 weeks old (fostered her) and she is my buddy and follows me everywhere like my shadow.

I am pregnant at the moment, and in January next year we will welcome two (yes two) new additions to our family.

I am just looking for tips on introducing the new arrivals to the cat and what I can do between now and then to make things easier.

I don't really have too much concern that she will injure them in any way - more likely my only worry will be stopping her getting into their moses baskets and kissing them. But I just don't want her to get jealous or worse, feel like she isn't wanted and take off.

Your advice would be most welcome.

thanks!

ShaShaBear

Firstly, congratulations - twice!

It's an exciting time, and I'm sure kitty is picking up on the positive vibes

I would suggest that if she is a very affectionate cat, who loves lap-sitting and being very close to you, to start limiting her physical contact with you now. Not in an extreme way, but try (very hard to find a way to put this without it sounding cruel) to distance yourself from her, by all means scratch her ears and give her cuddles and let her kiss you but try to tone it down, gradually get her used to slightly less contact, so when you have two newborns dangling from your arms it won't come as a complete shock to her!

Obviously with all pets, don't leave the cat alone unsupervised with the babies - something as simple as one of them crying could startle the cat and cause an accident. I would recommend maybe some youtube videos of babies crying played at random times of the day to desensitize her to the sound?

After you have held a baby, pet her, let her smell your hands, be affectionate. This will get her used to the scent on your hands, as well as assuring her that your emotional attention hasn't completely diverted to the new arrivals. Possibly look into getting her some more toys, maybe those game-type ones that mentally stimulate?

The Sweeper

Set your kitty up now with a safe kitty den - a place in the house where no babies will be spending time. Put her bed in there, toys, food and water bowls - even possibly a litter tray if you can. Consider buying her something like a cat tree and making a fuss out of her as you show it to her. Establish that place as her safe haven. You're setting this up as her go-to spot when she's stressed.

As baby things arrive, let her examine them in a communal area, but keep the babies' room off limits - so let her sniff the little clothes and nappy bags and bedding when you bring it home, but then take it off to the babies' room and don't let her follow. If she's very curious, once you come back out of the babies' room head to the kitty den and spend five minutes stroking the cat and give her a treat or two.

Cats are very territorial but are unlikely to aggressively defend their spot against new babies - far more likely is she'll be very anxious and upset and she may sulk. You can buy feliway diffusers and a feliway spray - it's synthetic feline happy hormone - and set them up in the kitty den. They'll help take the edge off her fretfulness.

When the babies arrive, let puss see and smell all items that come home early from the hospital. Reassure her with treats and stroking. Never bring any foreign baby-related item into the kitty den.

When the babies come home, allow her to come look at them and sniff them. She may hiss or growl or inflate her fur and run away. That is all fine. Don't admonish her or raise your voice. Let her run off and you can follow when convenient to reassure her and give her treats. Don't try and force interaction on her, and for your own safety do not hold the cat and bring her close to a baby. Cats adjust best when they can set their own pace and if she startles while you're holding her she can fight to get away and she could hurt you quite badly.

Every night after babies are in bed, spend a few minutes of quality kitty time with her in her den. If she's a lap sitter, buy her her own wee stool now that'll keep her at lap height but not on you or the sofa. When she gets used to the babies, she can sit near you while you nurse without being in your lap. That'll fulfil her curiosity and give her some distance and some inclusion.

The main plan is to remember your key message to kitty is 'everything is okay, we still love you, you're safe in this space', and not 'be nice to these intruders or you're a bad kitty'. Good luck with it!

Hello Lady!

Thanks for the advice guys.

I just can't imagine withdrawing attention from her! She is so loveable and actively seeks out cuddles and kisses. That is going to be really hard.

I will also have a problem making a kitty den - we have quite a small house. Babies will be in one room for sleeping, but the other spare room will need to be used for additional storage as we will have 2 of everything. So I actually don't think there is anywhere in the house that I can honestly say can be left free of baby-related stuff.

But I will still make a space for her that is quiet and calm and try to get her used to the idea slowly over the next few months.

Thanks for your suggestions.

The Sweeper

If you can use the spare room, buy her a cat tree or put up accessible shelves on the wall so she can get up high. It's fine if there's baby stuff in there, but try to make it the big items and if you have them now store them in there now so she can get used to them. Cats are either tree dwellers or ground dwellers - they like to be up high or hidden away down low.

...I was going to type more, but I'm trying to stop Eric the cat sticking his feet in my ice cream custard for a taste, the little sod. Back later.

Hello Lady!

Thanks Sweeper.

I'm not just looking for excuses - I think the kitty den is a great idea, but it's just not going to happen in our house. The spare room is only just a double, with enough room for a bed and space to walk around it, and that's it! All the 'big' items will have to be kept downstairs. We imagine the spare room will be all the other bits and bobs like clothes, spare nappies and small equipment, laundry etc etc. There is just no way to avoid using that room - it will almost be a 'dumping' ground I reckon, but we are very pushed for space with two babies on the way so no other choice really.

While they are really small though (i.e not crawling or waddling around) I was thinking of making a private spot behind the sofa for her. I could put her bed and some of her toys in there and her blanket. If she feels a bit freaked out she can retreat in behind the sofa where no one with bother her. It's really the best we can do in the circumstances.

wolfpawnat

HL, we have a cat and baby is due next month. I have a active and somewhat terrorizing 4yo as is, though he and fuzz (not actually the cats name) are as thick as thieves. The cat was allowed sniff the travel system and even gave it an internal inspection (it is apparently up to his standard) but since that was an unapproved scan, we gently took him out and wheeled it away so to not encourage him to go back at it again. Our guy is lucky he is used to our son and random noise, but just to echo others, talk to the cat as usual, spend time with it, and let it smell what comes home from the hospital that will need washing anyway. Cats contrary to what is reported in the media, do not actively seek out newborns to smoother. Just don't let her near the cot. If she sleeps in your room and you intend to bring the newborns there, start getting her used to somewhere else now. My poor guy is being evicted to the sitting room.

It's odd, he always tries to get into the cupboard with my son's clothes, but goes nowhere near the newborn things, I swear he knows! I am actually bringing two face clothes to the hospital with me solely so Boru can smell them when we get home and I can dump them. I know he will be fine though, and I know if anyone will keep me company on the sofa for the 4am feeds, it will be him!

Just let your cat know asap what she is allowed near, and what she isn't, such as the feeding pillows.

passive

Some great replies so far, definitely a lot of good advice to cover all your bases.

We've had a very easy time of it with our cat, and haven't had to do anything really new or unusual since bringing our (now two month old) daughter home.

He was a little put out at first, as we kept him off the bed when she was feeding and were a bit nervous when he was exploring near us when she was brand new. But we got more comfortable very quickly, and now he sits happily near or with us while we're feeding or chatting to her.

I guess it depends on the cat, but ours doesn't really view the baby as much to be interested about. He looks over when she cries, but she doesn't feed him, bother him or let him in and out, so he mostly ignores her. We've held her down to him once or twice, and he's rubbed his head on her to say hello then carried on elsewhere. Only thing is she's a little flaily now so he got a fright or a whack once or twice, but didn't respond or take it as anything agressive.

For contrast: we tried introducing a year old cat last September and he hissed and growled and fought, so he knows she isn't a kitten.

I'd say do some groundwork in terms of keeping her out of the baby's room, showing the pram is off limits etc, but mostly just be calm and carry on as normal. If you see any sign of aggression or jealously look into the more in depth training and special treatment, but your cat may be just fine without much fuss, if you're lucky!

Hello Lady!

thanks for all the replies.

I think I will be fine with her as she is very very placid. The only real problem I can see is that I will be covered in cat hair and picking up newborn babies - but sure it's good for their immune system and they might as well get used to it sooner rather than later

She loves to snuggle and rub against you, especially in the morning just before I get up. She might find it hard adjusting to having to share me as I do spoil her with attention. But before long she will have two new admirers who will spoil her so I think as long as I let her know I still love her and she doesn't get the hump and bugger off we'll be all good.

thanks for all your advice folks - much appreciated and will take it all on board in the coming months.

MJ23

Put the cat out. Why would anyone let a cat anywhere near a child?
Stop feeding a cat and you'll soon see how 'friendly' they are.

Hello Lady!

I feed my cat for the same reason your mother fed you....

Can't for the life of me understand why someone with such a disgusting attidtude towards animals would even want or care to post in the Animals and pets forums. Get a life!

DBB

MJ23 wrote: »

Put the cat out. Why would anyone let a cat anywhere near a child?
Stop feeding a cat and you'll soon see how 'friendly' they are.

MJ23, this sort of comment is unhelpful at best.
If you have nothing constructive to add, please don't post at all.
Do not reply to this post on thread.
Thanks,
DBB

addob

Congratulations on the babies!

We have a rather attached cat and brought home a baby boy a year ago. I looked everywhere for some help on how to introduce them and used a lot of the advice already given.

I remember trying hard to keep him out of the crib - he was determined to get in there so on the recommendation of a vet nurse we bought some balloons and he quickly understood where he was and wasn't allowed to go.

I also stopped playing with him and giving him as much attention as I used to in the final months of my pregnancy and I stopped changing the kitty litter - you need to get someone else to do this for you or be very careful.

When the baby did arrive I sent my husband home with some of the dirty vests, diapers and breast pads and left them so the cat could smell them.

Our cat was good and when I came home the cat that slept with us every night and was very protective of me when pregnant stopped entering our bedroom. Yet the night that we move the baby into his own room the cat was back on the bed.

Now I'm sure he's be happy with life before baby as he's getting chased and his tail pulled on a daily basis but I love to see our baby grow up with a pet.

Good luck!

Hello Lady!

thanks addob.

Good to know about kitty not bothing with your bed once the baby arrived. Ours sleeps at my feet, so hopefully she will be inclined to do the same. Probably, given how much cats like their comfort it is the up and down to baby and the crying that he wasn't keen on and he just didn't want to be disturbed!

The kitty litter isn't much of an issue ATM because with the weather being mild she is looking to go out rather than use the litter. If I do need to change it I wear a mask and gloves and am really careful about washing my hands after. No hope of hubby doing it! but we have a deal - I'll continue to take care of the litter, but that means he has extra nappy duty when the babies arrive!

We are also going to arrange for a cat flap to be installed soon (which we didn't need before, but once the babies arrive I think its better if she can get in and out as she wants other than waiting for me to let her in/out because with two babies to look after I'll have enough to be doing without acting as a doorman to the cat hotel!). Hubby is also making an area in the garden with sand and compost as her new cat litter and has a wooden top for it to cover it for times when the children are in the garden. With it being a mostly compost litter the hope is we won't have to 'empty' it very much as it will just decompose. The plan is to get this organised soon so that she will be used to it before winter comes and then I won't have any litter to be cleaning while I'm pregnant.

Thanks again for all your advice and tips folks - has put my mind at ease.

jimf

MJ23 wrote: »

Put the cat out. Why would anyone let a cat anywhere near a child?
Stop feeding a cat and you'll soon see how 'friendly' they are.

jeez mj23

you should post here more often your vast knowledge is going to waste keeping it all to yourself

andylennon11

Guys, I've a baby on way and only have tiny house with a Persian cat and another child. I don't know what to do bout my cat. He is 5 years old and very sweet. He's very much part of the family but his room will have to be changed into a nursery as have no other space for baby. Then I'm left with nowhere ATALL to put his litter tray that's safe. Then he's persian and constant hair flying everyehere no matter how much I brush him and Hoover which can easily get into baby's mouth as our house is tiny. I don't know wat to do. Love my cat but want to protect my baby. We are building a shed...maybe I shud put him here at night...even tho he'd hate it..he hates outdoors and I still have issue of his litter tray and hair during day. I don't know what to do . My husband doesn't think it's a big deal but I think it really is!

Pumpkinseeds

addob wrote: »

Congratulations on the babies!

We have a rather attached cat and brought home a baby boy a year ago. I looked everywhere for some help on how to introduce them and used a lot of the advice already given.

I remember trying hard to keep him out of the crib - he was determined to get in there so on the recommendation of a vet nurse we bought some balloons and he quickly understood where he was and wasn't allowed to go.

I also stopped playing with him and giving him as much attention as I used to in the final months of my pregnancy and I stopped changing the kitty litter - you need to get someone else to do this for you or be very careful.

When the baby did arrive I sent my husband home with some of the dirty vests, diapers and breast pads and left them so the cat could smell them.

Our cat was good and when I came home the cat that slept with us every night and was very protective of me when pregnant stopped entering our bedroom. Yet the night that we move the baby into his own room the cat was back on the bed.

Now I'm sure he's be happy with life before baby as he's getting chased and his tail pulled on a daily basis but I love to see our baby grow up with a pet.

Good luck!

I saw a pregnant vet talking about how she would be doing this with her baby and her own cats. Another tip the vet had was to play the sound of babies crying before the babies are brought home. Just something to gradually get the cat used to the sound of babies so it doesn't come as a shock to the system:D I'm sure you could find something like that on Youtube. Congratulations.:)

Pumpkinseeds

andylennon11 wrote: »

Guys, I've a baby on way and only have tiny house with a Persian cat and another child. I don't know what to do bout my cat. He is 5 years old and very sweet. He's very much part of the family but his room will have to be changed into a nursery as have no other space for baby. Then I'm left with nowhere ATALL to put his litter tray that's safe. Then he's persian and constant hair flying everyehere no matter how much I brush him and Hoover which can easily get into baby's mouth as our house is tiny. I don't know wat to do. Love my cat but want to protect my baby. We are building a shed...maybe I shud put him here at night...even tho he'd hate it..he hates outdoors and I still have issue of his litter tray and hair during day. I don't know what to do . My husband doesn't think it's a big deal but I think it really is!

You could get a covered litter tray. Many, many many people have babies and cats and the babies survive just fine. I think that you're over-thinking things, which is understandable, but there really is no reason to put the cat out of the house.:)