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Should I just cut all ties??

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  • 04-07-2013 5:56pm
    #1
    Kerrygirl81
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭


    Hi.
    My son is 10 years of age and has been staying with my ex every second weekend or whenever my ex feels like taking him since we split up about 5 years ago. In the past year or so his drinking has gotten out of hand, he cancels weekends to go drinking or because he is hungover. My son could sometimes go 5 to 6 weeks without seeing his dad who lives 5 minutes drive away. He pays €30 a week maintenance but I have to ring and text him continuously to get it off him, as like access he can go 5 to 6 weeks of not giving anything. I buy his school books, pay for parties, holidays, all his clothing and Christmas. I'm only working part time so I can be at home when he finishes school, don't have any help as both my parents have passed away. I sound like in whinging now but the whole situation just stresses me out. His dad I'd completely and utterly unreliable. Should I just stop all access between him and my son. He has let him down repeatedly now and has gotten drunk around him while having him for the weekend. He never really does anything with him or brings him anywhere when he has him, just stays in apartment playing the computer.


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    #2
    RubyGirl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,275 ✭✭✭RubyGirl


    I would talk to your son first, he's the one who's going to get hurt most out of this. If he's not interested in going over to his dad's then I'd keep him home until his dad starts asking why? Has he court assess or is it just an arrangement.
    It's not a great environment to be introducing a 10 year old boy to anyway, watching his dad get drunk every weekend.


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    #3
    marizpan
    Registered Users Posts: 443 ✭✭marizpan


    I would be very slow to cut ties. Your son needs to know his dad whether that is a good or bad dad.
    If he doesn't like what he sees, he will blame his dad.
    If you don't allow him to see him, he will blame you.
    He needs to know that half of himself.

    But the drinking I would have a problem with. Could you change visits to day out visits instead of weekends?


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    #4
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    The drinking in front of the child bit is what really sticks out to me.

    I'm not a parent, so my view may, of course, not hold much validity, but I sure as hell wouldn't leave any child with a drunk adult. Children shouldn't be exposed to that, and it's dangerous. What if there's a fire, and the father is too drunk to get himself and the child out safely?

    I'd be against cutting all ties, but I wouldn't allow over-night visits while the father is still drinking. If he wants to see his child for longer periods of time, he'll have to stop drinking, to put it simply.


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