March 2014 Babies Club

Suucee

I came home shortly after writing that last post. My sis called up and tge 3 of us had a good chat. She will help when she can but she is in the process of moving house. Said i should get my mum up evrry day. At least she can hrlp while here

i think a lot of Ls crying is down to just needing some tlc which im just not up to.

My sis put made a lot of sence how since getging pregnant and having all the health issues throughout and after that my its like a switch went off and my brain is focusing on L and how it all hapoened and my brain is just pushing him aside.

i was having a lil cuddle when feeding him just now and the guilt is shocking so there must be some love there or something.

I need to get these health issues sorted to start bonding with him. Ive missed enough already.

cyning

Of course there is: if there wasn't you wouldn't feel so awful about it all. I think your sis is right, a bit of help for awhile will make a massive difference, and hopefully after the rheumatologist visit you will get a handle on the physical problems. Big hugs x

pwurple

Suucee wrote: »

I need to get these health issues sorted to start bonding with him. Ive missed enough already.

You're right here I think. They say Happy Mammy, Happy Baby, and it's really true. Babies are like little sponges, and they pick up on whatever is going on with their mum. If you're sick and in pain, they will be unhappy too.

Really great you are arranging support from your mum, and that you have your sister to talk to. Very lucky to have that too. I know having family around makes a massive difference. My mum or my dad came over to me nearly every day during my leave. My dad was stuck on the couch after leg surgery, but even having another grown up to talk to makes a big difference during the day! Plus you can leave the room for a few minutes and they can shout if the smallies get in trouble. Makes things way easier. I take whatever is offered in terms of company or help.

Sligo1

Suucee you poor thing! How are you today? I think the GPs diagnosis of PND is a step in the right direction. As has been said before... It is extremely difficult with 2 kids close in age suucee. So please don't feel you are a bad mum or anything like that. Sometimes it's hard to keep your head above the water. You are fantastic! And strong and you will be stronger and better equipped to deal with this when you get back on your feet.

I really really think you need to go back and see your GP as soon as you've had your rheumatology appointment so he can maybe prescribe you something if you have PND. That aswell as all the medical issues you've been having... Well it's no wonder you are feeling the way you are. Like others have said... Please take as much help as you can. If you don't want to leave the your kids at the MILs... Could she perhaps come to your house and help you out while you are there? That way you can still dictate the pace so to speak? And even just to have people over to talk to is always great.

Go to as many parent toddler groups as you can. Get out of the house as much as you can. When OH comes home... No matter what needs to he done, hand the kids over "STRAIGHT AWAY"... And go and have a bath! Not half an hour later when they are going to bed... Straight away!..... You've had them all day as it is. Even if you do this once or twice a week I really think you will start seeing the benefits.

Also suucee, FWIW, I think it was quite rude of your BILs partner to speak to you the way she did. Seriously.... I would never say that to someone no matter how much they talked about their kids, work, illnesses or things going on in their lives. It is obvious these things are important to you so it is normal to speak about them a lot! We all do that sometimes. Especially if it's having such an impact on your life at the moment.

Hugs xx

Suucee

Im much better today although feet have been killing me all day .
OH took the day off and headed out a while this morning with them. L still grouchy but not as bad as he was yesterday.

I wont get MIL to come help as she minds her other grandkids too. We havent even told her about the pnd as we both think shes of the opinion of just getting on with it. But we will see. She will be told at some stage.

A friend (L's godfather) called up this evening (was his birthday sat night) and just said about her saying something. I asked what he knew but he said nothing he could just tell . So we told him and even he who is 26 no kids thinks it was uncalled for.
Its not as if im one to go around talking loads about my kids im actually not but saying dada is a bit of a big deal. And shes normally kid obsessed herself anyway. Funnily enough when we got to the pub everyone was asking about the kids as were we about theres.
Agh i duno.

I actually go to 2 p&t grps a week and im an admin on a local fb page whers we organise meet ups in play centrea etc. So im actually nearly always out.

Yrsterday i was supposed go to playcentre in the morning but had go gp.
Then in afternoon i txt 2 friends about playdates and my sis. They were all busy. (None knew about pnd at the time)
My mum was after been minding them while i was at gps that morning so i knew she needed a rest and im still pissed with MIL so basically i had no where to go really. And it was spilling rain. So with L whinging, been stuck at home and A bouncing off the walls i just flipped.

I think next time we may just get out for a walk. Sure a bit of rain wont kill us. Major problem there is the feet though.

We wrote out a daily routine and im pretty good with cooking as i batch cook every second day (have a freezer stash for kids just in case) . So things like that wont build up on me .

Im supposed to be going to my friends college graduation thursday and i dont know how to tell her i cant. MIL was supposed to be taking the kids over night as OH working and its a 2-3 hr drive away (depending on if i drive or get bus). So id be home very late. I dont want MIL taking them after last time . But how do i tell my friend.

cyning

How are you doing Suuccee? Did you have appt with rheumatologist?

Suucee

cyning wrote: »

How are you doing Suuccee? Did you have appt with rheumatologist?

Yea im doing good. Appointment tomorrow TG as pain very bad.

kept myself busy thurs and friday so was grand.
toddler had a bug over weekend but ok now and had OH at home anyway. Had a christening yesterdat so went saturday to get my hair and nails done. Its OHs sister that runs the salon so i had good chat with her when she closed.

And right now im like a prune having just got out of the bath after nearly 2 hrs. She took the kids this morning so i done a bit if cleaning when waiting on the emersion and had a lovely long hot batg (had to refill it twice).

Hope your Lil woman is doing ok

cyning

Sounds good Succee... Take help anywhere you can get it let me know how you get on tomorrow I've been thinking about you.

My lil lady is ok, I'm super tormented by it all, you don't expect a baby to just keel over with no warning like that. I know it might be relatively minor compared to other people but I keep thinking of her totally limp and purple in my arms. It's hard to forget.

Suucee

Cyning i deff wouldnt call that minor at all. id say that will scare you for a long time. it would me.

So SIL was supposed to drop them back at 2. txts at 3.30 that other SIL going to drop them home. so since id be waiting to go out i said id collect them . they were in MILs and looks like they have been there all day. and once again arrived out and A was very grouchy. MIL said they werent there at lunch. but then i spotted L's food left overs so i asked how he got on she said she fed him so kind of caught herself out there. then other SIL said L hadnt slept since she arrived and when i went to put him up for a nap he was very whingey and MIL said he had slept not long ago.
I txt SIL that was supposed to have been minding them as she was gone asking when they slept, how were they, she never txt back, i then tried to ring her as A had a temp and i wanted to know if she'd had calpol she didnt answer.

So once everyone else was gone i asked told MIL about the PND. her reply was sure how do they diagnose that. sure if you get out for a walk before OH goes work you would feel better. or in the evening (i cant walk, thats half if not nearly all the problem) . then i said id like her to mind them once in a while to give me a bit of a break but i really need her to keep to routine and let them sleep. she said they sleep fine. i told her what happened last time. she said they had slept fine . I asked if she puts them down at right time (before they get over tired) she said yea. but last time we rang half hour after the should have been in bed and they were up. she said thats cause L had already slept.
So i said just leave it so.
she never replied. we got sorted and came home and they were whingey. then i car came straight for us on a bad bend. i honestly thought we were dead. still feeling sick. i swerved in to the ditch to avoid it and it just kept driving on.

cyning

Could your oh have a chat to your mil to get her on side? Some people are so annoyingly clueless it's not even funny. You must have got such a fright with the car what an ignorant fecker.

Suucee

cyning wrote: »

Could your oh have a chat to your mil to get her on side? Some people are so annoyingly clueless it's not even funny. You must have got such a fright with the car what an ignorant fecker.

Ah i dont even know what to do at this stage. she just seemed so dismissive of the pnd . she was supposed to be collecting A at 2 today to bring her to town along with her other grand daughters to get clothes for xmas but i heard nothing until SIL txt at 4.30 saying they werent going until tomorrow. luckily i hadnt been sitting at home waiting. she said they be going tomorrow instead but im not sitting at home waiting for them.

so not much wiser on the whole foot issue
so i have dactylitis (basically swelling of the toes or fingers) so need to find out whats causing it. the 3 main causes are gout which he reckons is unlikely, Psoriatic Arthritis which is possible but not sure as feet xray was clear or Sarcoidosis which is more to do with the lungs. so he's reffering me to get chest xray and bloods to hopefully rule out sarcoidosis. has put me on anti-inflamotories for at least a month and told me to rest it (ha). i cant not walk, im cracking up as it is.

cyning

It's so frustrating not knowing what's wrong: I really hope the anti inflammatories help a bit. Your mil is just not helpful at all when will you have chest X-ray?

Suucee

cyning wrote: »

It's so frustrating not knowing what's wrong: I really hope the anti inflammatories help a bit. Your mil is just not helpful at all when will you have chest X-ray?

Ive no idea. In to gp friday . She will send off for refferal so see then what happens. Foot xray only took a week or 2 of waiting. .
The new anti inflammotories are stronger so hoping they do something. Obviously the last ones were doing something as it got worse whem i came off them.

I dont know what to do about MIL. We used to get on so well. I always got on well with OHs whole family but just not lately.

pwurple

Suucee wrote: »

I dont know what to do about MIL. We used to get on so well. I always got on well with OHs whole family but just not lately.

These are symptoms of PND too remember, feeling like you are not getting on with people, or that they are not taking you seriously. I know that's no help! Basically you can't do anything except wait out your foot diagnoses, and start getting PND treatment. I wonder is there anything you can do with feet up to keep you active? Are you crafty at all? Knitting, sewing, glueing pine cones onto stuff with the kids?



Cyning that was absolutely terrifying I'd say. I still remember my eldest when she got pneumonia, and she started turning a funny colour and slumping over. That was ages ago and I still can't get it out of my head.


Is anyone thinking about christmas for these March babies yet? We are tight for space in the house, so I'm kinda struggling with what Santa will bring her. Bath toy and a book is what I'm on at the moment. Grandparents are asking me for ideas and I'm stuck. We have clothes from the eldest, and I've gone sewing mad recently, so I've made them party dresses out of some of my worn out maternity wear and some sparkles. We have plenty of toys (not that she's into much except smashing up duplo). I'm going to tell them books for when she is older I think. A Roald Dahl book or something.

cyning

I just wish I had a definitive answer in wether we were dealing with a seizure, a choking episode or inflamed airways or what. That's so hard.

So santy is bringing the little tikes play and explore garden and we are getting her the fisher price ballapalooza (it looked crap on Argos site but it looks great if you google it!). Jumperoo will be going into attic to accommodate them. And that fisher price teddy yoke too and a few small bits and a book too. I'm very excited

I think that's a great idea pwurple: I'm arm knitting at the moment I looooove it so quick. And I've gotten Christmas sparkly wool to knit a cardi for S first and depending how it goes for C too. Crafts are great fun. I really miss getting out and about but with S constantly sick it's so hard.

Suucee

Oh i need to get out, even sitting in painting of playing with mala is no good. toddler loves it but too risky with L who just wants to eat everything.
He's really settling at night which is helping hugely, he has gone off his bottles so much though but his appetite has improved so much i think thats helping the sleep too.
But i am struggling to get enough formula in to him.

So MIL and SIL took A for afternoon, all seemed ok anyway and A seemed to have a good time shopping for xmas clothes, i got to call to my sister with L and it was nice just spending time with him.

Cyning i cant imagine what you are going through. what are they doing for her or are they just going down the wait and see route.

cyning

Wait and see. If she has another incident it's a ct and EEG. So hoping she doesn't. For lots of reasons! It feels like one thing after another, after another with her.

Suuccee would swimming be an option? You can get a water sling to bring the two of them... I'm just thinking there would be less pressure on your foot but it's still activity?

Suucee

cyning wrote: »

Wait and see. If she has another incident it's a ct and EEG. So hoping she doesn't. For lots of reasons! It feels like one thing after another, after another with her.

Suuccee would swimming be an option? You can get a water sling to bring the two of them... I'm just thinking there would be less pressure on your foot but it's still activity?

Oh thats so scray, id be terrified. it really has been one thing after another for ye. hopefully theres an end in sight. how she getting on with relux and solids now?

yea we go swimming twice a week when we can. have a water sling already hehe.
have a kind of weekly routine sorted for us to make sure we are getting out and meeting people. when were busy were all happier .
just trying to get the energy to get up and get out in the evenings. OH has no issue with coming in at 6 giving them tea, doing the bath and putting them to bed but i just have no where to go. trying to convince my sister to come swimming with me once a week (said she would starting from next week) . but no idea what else to do. most my friends are mammies.

cyning

Reflux is settling a bit but we still get a lot of screaming. A lot! She ate 4 spinach and cheese muffins, a pear and a rusk today so not great but not bad either. Refuses any spoon feeds at all.

Have ye a community centre near ye? Ours have different classes every night of the week might be worth looking at? Or see of any of the other mammies you know would be up for a book club or anything?

Siipina

How is everyone? We are good only that it looks like we will move house and county before Christmas. My fiancee got a new job in tuam. I am absolutely delighted for him it's a much better position and a lot more money but hell moving before Christmas will be very tough. Had a look at a house today in knock. Was very nice, lovely house but a few down sides, like always :-) will be hard to find something so quick. Does anybody know how it is to live in knock ? It seemed nice but very holy ;-) I found out that they have a parent and toddler group which is a big plus. OMG I have no clue how I will manage a move with LO and all.so fast.

Siipina

How is everyone? We are good only that it looks like we will move house and county before Christmas. My fiancee got a new job in tuam. I am absolutely delighted for him it's a much better position and a lot more money but hell moving before Christmas will be very tough. Had a look at a house today in knock. Was very nice, lovely house but a few down sides, like always :-) will be hard to find something so quick. Does anybody know how it is to live in knock ? It seemed nice but very holy ;-) I found out that they have a parent and toddler group which is a big plus. OMG I have no clue how I will manage a move with LO and all.so fast.

pwurple

Siipina wrote: »

How is everyone? We are good only that it looks like we will move house and county before Christmas. My fiancee got a new job in tuam. I am absolutely delighted for him it's a much better position and a lot more money but hell moving before Christmas will be very tough. Had a look at a house today in knock. Was very nice, lovely house but a few down sides, like always :-) will be hard to find something so quick. Does anybody know how it is to live in knock ? It seemed nice but very holy ;-) I found out that they have a parent and toddler group which is a big plus. OMG I have no clue how I will manage a move with LO and all.so fast.

Oh I don't envy you moving house. So glad all my moving is over (hopefully!). I'd say knock has a good community feel anyway. It's fairly settled and long established anyway, so hopefully people will talk to eachother, and you! Congrats on your fiances new job, well done to him!

I brought the girls to the nutcracker ballet today, with my mum. So nice. I remember going to that as a child myself, with my mum and grandmother... One of my favourite memories of her. It's really lovely to continue that. They were so good! Didn't think we'd even make it to the second half, but they watched the whole thing. Should have taken the bus though, i don't know what I was thinking going to a carpark in th city coming up to christmas, twas jammers.

cyning

Congrats to your oh Siipina I live in a small enough rural area and it's fantastic I'd say you will love it l!

S is back in hospital again tonight. Definitely tonsillitis so she's in iv antibiotics and I guess we will see tomorrow if she needs chest X-rays.

Sligo1

Congratulations on your OH new job! Fantastic news! Sligo is about 1 hour from knock but I never really visited the village there. I think it's very small. But these small villages usually have a nice close community which can be nice to have. I've only ever used the airport when I used to live in Sligo. Knock is sick a handy airport!

Cyning I'm so sorry to hear your little one is in hospital yet again! I really don't know what to say anymore. I don't know how you're still standing to be honest. Hugs.

It was toms 2nd birthday last week. Can't believe my little guy is 2 now! We had a little family party for him yesterday and he was in his element. Next year we will do the whole friends thing but I was very lazy this year so it was just family. But he got lots of lovely books and some nice gifts so was a happy little boy

cyning

Ah that sounds lovely Sligo, won't be long before we will all have first birthdays!

I don't think there is anything to say but I just don't think it's right that she's sick again. There has to be something she can do. Her immunoglobulin levels were normal so I don't even know what else to ask.

Sligo1

Cyning is there anywhere you can take her to a specialist for a second opinion or to a different private paediatrician?

cyning

Myself and hubby were discussing that today... Doc said we will go through her chart in a bit more detail tomorrow but basically some kids are like this and they grow out of it. But she's my child and she's never right: I'm not a ftm I know normal sick and constant sick and this is constant sick. So we think a private paed for a second opinion is a good idea, if only for a second pair of eyes. It's just hard to know the right thing to do

Suucee

Siipina i dont envy u moving . But congrats on OHs new job.

Ah cyning i cant believe shes sick again. I really hope something starts improving.
Hope shes better soon

Oh happy birthday tom. Sounds nice and relaxed party.

My lil lady was sick last weekend with what we thought was vomiting bug. Woke up friday night vomiting in bed and had temp on the saturday but perked up sunday.
then thursday night she woke up with diahrea. Nearly a week later. Coincidently i had been to a coffee shop both times and she had some of my cakes each time (different each time) so ive been thinking it might be something from there. Ive been fine and so has L (had to give him a little taste) so maybe it just doesnt agree with her. I emailed the coffee shop and filled them in asking was thers any ingredient that she consumed both times (still waiting on reply) but poor divil still has it. Had an accident today when we went to galway xmas market as couldnt get to toilet quick enough. Then had to pull in on motorway on way home (lucky we carry potty in car) . Then stopped for something to eat and she went 3 times in about 45 mins. Everything is just going straight through her.
Im bringing her to gp tomorrow . Poor thing. We had to stick a nappy on her tonight just incase. Im now not sure if its something from coffee shop as its long enough ago now.

pwurple

Oh cyning, hospital again. You poor things. I'd go for a second opinion as well. She must be under some consultant in the hospital, is it the same one each time?

I know everyone can get really run down after one sickness though, and just get stuck in a cycle of catching loads of things. It's not really done here, but in some other countries they follow up antibiotics with a course of probiotics.

cyning

Same consultant each time: he's lovely but I just don't know. It's not right that she's constantly ill she's out in mouth ulcers and has thrush now so will be here until Wednesday at least and has a rash.