The Underwear Rule

nicowa

I had clicked through to a video on Youtube and this ad came up from the NSPCA (I'm in the UK at the moment) about The Underwear Rule. It's about how to talk to children in a calm, safe and responsible way about their physical safety. The link to the website is: http://www.underwearrule.org/howto_en.asp

I had a read of it and, while the whole thought of it makes me uncomfortable, I think it's good to know how to bring up the subject with kids in a way that helps them understand without making them paranoid of all adults. After all there will always be situations on life where near/full nudity occurs (doctors offices, gyms, team sports changing areas) and having the information to deal with these cases is necessary. They make mention of those who may need to physically touch sensitive areas (eg Doctors) and safety networks and secret keeping and how to deal with all the above.

I just thought I'd share it here for those who might want to read it. I'm not looking to start a debate on the subject (though I obviously can't stop one either).

Lisha

Frankly it's a topic that terrifies me , as I know it does most people.

My mother was useless at talking about stuff like this , I'm not too comfy myself but feel its so important that kids have the vocabulary to talk about such things.

I've a 5yr old boy. I mention when drying him that his private area is his own and No one is to touch it .
I've Told him that if any one tries he is to shout 'feic off that's my willie'

This makes him laugh. I don't condone bad language btw, I just find a bit if humour helps st times. Not that uts something to laugh about ifywim

Hannibal Smith

I think some sort of parenting course on subjects like this woukd be great. At the end of the day we dont turn into psychologists because they've handed us a child. ..so it would be helpful to have a little guidance. But that link is very interesting. .Thanks nicowa.

I like your style on it Lisha. ..I guess its something we're going to start mentioning now he's starting school and his circle is widening

Neyite

I think its a great idea. I have always intended to educate my children in an age appropriate way about good and bad touches.

I was sexually abused as a small child by an elderly relative and it had a knock on effect that followed me in lots of ways until my late twenties, when I attended counselling for other reasons, and it transpired that I had never really dealt with what had happened to me- I didnt have the language or vocabulary to describe what had happened to me, or to explain the complexities of my feelings. My mother was told that I was too young to remember the abuse, so was advised to minimise it to me by a doctor but out of my childhood memories, those are ones that remained vivid and if it had been explained to me in the right way I might have not become a sad, introverted child who was a target for bullies throughout childhood, and dysfunctional relationships as an adult.

I see my child's confidence as he grows up, and trust in the world in the adults around him and I will do whatever I can to educate him and protect him from harm. And if, god forbid, someone tried hurt him in that way, I would cheerfully do a life sentence behind bars for what I would do to the fcuker.