At my wits end

SaucySue

Please help!

Six months old and its not gotten any easier! Bad sleeper; reflux; breast fed and wont take any bottle or cup ezpressed or formula; trying to wean her but no inyerest - have tried with few diff foods for few daya each time but v hit and miss. most ahe will take is one 40ml cube once day and lots of days nowhere near that.

I just cant see when ill ever get time to myself - had my hair done once in last 6 months and brows done another time,one massage and thats it,sum total of me time in last six months. I'm not expecting wild nights out every week but even a coffee with friends would be nice. Friends wedsing next month that ill have to miss now cos cant leave her. I dont even know how I'll wean her odd the breast since she will take nothing elae. Anyone any tips before i go totally loolaa? She is best thing ever ans wonserful baby but just need some light at end of tunnel

silly

You poor thing, i feel for you i really do, you need a break!! Have you tried taking her to a cranial osteopath? They work wonders with babies with all sorts of problems. I brought my son with stomach/wind problems when he was 5 weeks old and he has been fantastic since. (almost 12 months now) eating/sleeping - no problems!
It can be expensive, but it could be the best money you have ever spent.
what you have described certainly doesnt sound right.

cyning

Oh you definitely need a break have you tried an open cup? That's what I did with C and then moved onto a free flow cup. I used expressed milk and then moved to water. The way they drink from an open cup mimics the way they drink from the breast more than a bottle I think. Also can you just leave for an hour or two? Again she would take a bottle for anyone except her dad or me: she could smell me and wouldn't accept it from me ever. I know quite a few people who breastfeed used doidy cups from amazon.

As for the food I do a mix of blw and purées. So when we were eating our dinner I'd give her boiled or roasted carrot sticks for example and then after I'd feed her puréed carrots. It takes time but don't panic about quantities just persist with meals and take every spoon as it comes.

Also I was starting to wean C but I've had to stop with the good weather. They can be uncomfortable in the heat so if you can maybe give it another week and try again.

Also do go to your wedding: you'd be surprised what they'll drink and eat when your not there. But maybe try a trial run this weekend and go for dinner or a walk anything for a break?

2xj3hplqgsbkym

Have you tried a wrap sling, very comfortable and good for reflex.

Maybe try her with expressed milk when in the sling, so she is still getting the closeness.

Perhaps try baby led weaning, my baby doesn't like been spoonfed, but loves carrot sticks, slices of melon, chicken ham, bread etc...

Diziet

Go out for the day, leave expressed milk or formula behind and get her dad or a family member to feed her. She won't smell mammy and is likely to be fine (in any case, she won't starve!). I had to travel for work when baby was 9m and came back to her sleeping through the night; hubby sorted it out :-)

Please don't waste your money on cranial osteopathy - there are plenty of anecdotes of improvement out there, but only because babies generally grow out of colic anyway.

2xj3hplqgsbkym

Have you tried a wrap sling, very comfortable and good for reflex.

Maybe try her with expressed milk when in the sling, so she is still getting the closeness.

Perhaps try baby led weaning, my baby doesn't like been spoonfed, but loves carrot sticks, slices of melon, chicken ham, bread etc...

Hannibal Smith

Diziet wrote: »

Go out for the day, leave expressed milk or formula behind and get her dad or a family member to feed her. She won't smell mammy and is likely to be fine (in any case, she won't starve!). I had to travel for work when baby was 9m and came back to her sleeping through the night; hubby sorted it out :-)

.

+ 1
Get out by yourself. Go have a coffee or sit in a park...the baby will be fine and will survive.

With the weaning they don't actually need that much starting out...its still very much milk based nutrition. ..so don't stress over how much they eat. It's all about getting them used to the spoon and textures. Try annabel karmels book for recipe ideas.

The main thing is the baby is thriving and you are doing a fantastic job. The stresses and worries are immense and we've all been there. Try and get to that wedding. ..I turned down an invite to a wedding when my first was 6 months because I felt exactly as you do now and I regret it so much now. It was a good friend and I hate I missed her day. But if it really is impossible dont let it add to your stresses. ..whatever is right for you.

Keep talking to people, whether its your other half, another mum, your mum or on here. Tell some one how you're feeling.

But like I say you're doing a great job!

wmpdd3

I've been there, I felt I wasn't living just surviving. Try a cup with a straw, mine never got it buy my nieces did at 6 months.

Just leave for 3 hours, they will cope and make sure you go to the wedding you never get that time back.

I thought my guy would never survive but I had to go to the dentist and baby survived, long walk and a bottle afterwards.

SaucySue

Thanks everyone. I hate moaning but when it doesnt even seem to be moving towards improvement it gets on top of me sometimes. Also as she is our first I just feel sometimes as if I'm making so many mistakes and doing everything wrong,that other people are judging me or us thinking their baby was sleeping x hours by now or eating x. Or worse that they'd think she is a "bad" baby but she is a lovely happy wonderful girl.

I will try all those suggestions - we did try cranio with no luck but I think that may have been down to the person we chose. Will def try an open cup and see if she will take to that,and also look into baby led weaning as I have heard of it but not really familuar with what they can and can't have at six months. Will also look into wrap sling and see if can get one for her age, and start making myself get out without her even if I do feel guilty! Besides anything else I badly need another trip to hairdresser!!

Thanks again, so much!

liliq

Sounds like you're having a rough time
Are you in an area where there's any breastfeeding support groups close by? Sometimes I feel just having other mums telling me face to face that they've gone through similar or having suggestions of different things that have tried that have helped has made me feel immensely better.

2xj3hplqgsbkym

SaucySue wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I hate moaning but when it doesnt even seem to be moving towards improvement it gets on top of me sometimes. Also as she is our first I just feel sometimes as if I'm making so many mistakes and doing everything wrong,that other people are judging me or us thinking their baby was sleeping x hours by now or eating x. Or worse that they'd think she is a "bad" baby but she is a lovely happy wonderful girl.

I will try all those suggestions - we did try cranio with no luck but I think that may have been down to the person we chose. Will def try an open cup and see if she will take to that,and also look into baby led weaning as I have heard of it but not really familuar with what they can and can't have at six months. Will also look into wrap sling and see if can get one for her age, and start making myself get out without her even if I do feel guilty! Besides anything else I badly need another trip to hairdresser!!

Thanks again, so much!

I know, I hate this, "Is she good?" , of course she's bloody good she's a baby, she doesn't know how to be bold!

I got a second hand wrap sling on adverts for €10, you should get a woven one for her age, not stretchy. You can make your own for wearing around the house to try it out first before you buy one, just cut a 25cm wide strip of an old sheet, lots of videos on you tube about it.

You could also try spoonfeeding her the breastmilk, so you know if she won't take the bottle she can still get some when you aren't there, or my mum often uses the lid if the bottle to give baby a drink from.

Don't worry you aren't doing anything wrong, in fact you are doing so much right, but it is just very hard sometimes.

Hannibal Smith

SaucySue wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I hate moaning but when it doesnt even seem to be moving towards improvement it gets on top of me sometimes. Also as she is our first I just feel sometimes as if I'm making so many mistakes and doing everythig,that other people are judging me or us thinking their baby was sleeping x hours by now or eating x. Or worse that they'd think she is a "bad" baby but she is a lovely happy wonderful girl.

I will try all those suggestions - we did try cranio with no luck but I think that may have been down to the person we chose. Will def try an open cup and see if she will take to that,and also look into baby led weaning as I have heard of it but not really familuar with what they can and can't have at six months. Will also look into wrap sling and see if can get one for her age, and start making myself get out without her even if I do feel guilty! Besides anything else I badly need another trip to hairdresser!!

Thanks again, so much!

I know what you mean...every one elses baby seems to sleep 10 hours a night and eats rings around themselves and you think. ..jees they have got parenting cracked! But no one does...theyve just figured out a way that works for them and are not as perfect as they seem.

The first child is very tough and we can be very hard on ourselves. ..but we all survive...just about

xzanti

Diziet wrote: »

Please don't waste your money on cranial osteopathy - there are plenty of anecdotes of improvement out there, but only because babies generally grow out of colic anyway.

I have to disagree with you that it's a waste of money.. It worked wonders for my Son.. a child who cried non stop and was rigid with pain for half of the day until he was 4 weeks and I took him for the treatment.. after 2 sessions he was a different child..

I know my baby better than anyone else, and I can tell you that my story is NOT an 'anecdote'..

A friend of mine had a baby boy around the same time and he also had problems.. I gave her the number of my Osteopath and she reported the same results after 3 sessions.. a happy and more well adjusted baby.

Also, colic is not always the only reason for a baby being unsettled.. all sorts of problems can arise from a rough birth for example.. Don't write something off just because you don't understand it.

bp

Ok firstly you are a great mother and don't ever feel otherwise.

Try have someone else administer the bottle away from your boobs! Maybe also try baby rice made with breast milk and made pretty much into a liquid.

Every baby is different but you will figure it out. I read on a different thread about weaning that they gave the baby no choice but to have a bottle - tough but you must do what works for you.

Good luck

endacl

silly wrote: »

Have you tried taking her to a cranial osteopath?

Oh please please please please please don't take this ridiculous advice OP.
You're under enough stress with out getting charlatans involved.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2004/sep/23/badscience.science

implausible

bp wrote: »

Try have someone else administer the bottle away from your boobs! Maybe also try baby rice made with breast milk and made pretty much into a liquid.

Good advice here - you can add breastmilk to porridge/Ready Brek and make it very liquid (this was the first food for my two). She might take it off a spoon. You can use breastmilk in any purées you're giving, to make it more palatable to her.

xzanti

endacl wrote: »

Oh please please please please please don't take this ridiculous advice OP.
You're under enough stress with out getting charlatans involved.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2004/sep/23/badscience.science

What is your personal experience with this?

foxy06

This poor woman doesn't need to hear the pros and cons of cranial osteopathy she needs advice and reassurance.

Op I really feel for you. I was there once and a lot of parents are with their first. Even now looking back after 11 years I don't know how I managed. But I did. I also thought people were judging me and making comments that were usually just said in kindness but I was analysing everything people said and thinking that everyone thinks im not coping and im a bad mother.
Sometimes I think people just say things like 'is he good' to make conversation and before you have a chance to say 'no hes been up all night and im about to have myself sectioned if only just for a few hours sleep' they start waffling on about how they reared theirs and they were walking at six months and in college at 2 etc...
There has been some good advice here about how to cope with weaning and getting time to yourself but you also should try really hard not to care what other people think. It will be easier then to follow your own natural instinct. I have five now and still get people telling me how to rear them and asking me things like 'is he not too hot/cold/tired/hungry'

its tough going but I think you are doing great and it really does get easier.

endacl

xzanti wrote: »

What is your personal experience with this?

None whatsoever. I don't need personal experience as I can read research. Neither have I personal experience of homeopathy or of using powdered seahorse to treat an itchy toe. I don't need personal experience to identify bull.

xzanti

foxy06 wrote: »

This poor woman doesn't need to hear the pros and cons of cranial osteopathy she needs advice and reassurance.

My heart goes out to the OP 100%, and it was on a thread that I started when I myself was at my wits end with an inconsolable infant that I found out about the treatment.. I had never heard of it before.. and it worked for us, so it just frustrates me when people with no experience of it slam an entire profession as 'charlatans'..

endacl wrote: »

None whatsoever. I don't need personal experience as I can read research. Neither have I personal experience of homeopathy or of using powdered seahorse to treat an itchy toe. I don't need personal experience to identify bull.

Homeopathy and Osteopathy are two completely different things..

I'm going to leave it there.. apologies for going off topic.

OP I hope things improve for you soon.. I know how you feel.. You are doing a fantastic job.. Best of luck and congratulations on your little one

diana1234

I'm sorry you're having such an exhausting time. My first one seemed to need breastfeeding every 1 1/2 to 2 hours day and night, and the lack of sleep really got to me. When she was 6 months I was trying to give her solids and she would have none of it. In fact she did not eat until she was over 12 months old. She hated to be spoonfed, and only started to show interest in food when she could pick it with her own fingers. She does eat happily now,and she has grown normal and healthy. And i've met many mothers since whose children also refused to be spoonfed. so maybe babyled weaning is a good plan. however, your lil darling WILL start to eat eventually - don't worry too much about it.
Mine did start to take the bottle eventually, though first not from me. She started creche p/t with 9 months and very patient creche worker managed to give her a full bottle after about a week.Her trick was to have her sitting on her lap, facing away from her so that my little one could look out and get some entertainment. maybe you could hire a baby sitter for a week for a few hours to do this if you don't have family to do this.
I was a bit annoyed that nobody of the breastfeeding advocates told me that it's worth introducing a bottle while baba is real little once in a while 'cause it gets really difficult if you're waiting too long.
Going out with friends for a coffee was one of the easiest things while breastfeeding. no need to prepare anything for baba, all the equipment with you at all times. Nobody every seem to mind me feeding while we were gossiping.

I can promise you that it WILL get easier. You are doing a great job!

wmpdd3

I moved both mine on to bottles after boob but a friend just feed hers once morning and night and they are food during the day, the were both against speeding too but ate wheetabix for breakfast and grazed and finger food for day. Now they did feed for 40 mins before bed but they survived. I knew mine liked their bottles but wouldn't east during the day as the bottles made full until they got used to them, but it was reassuring to see what was possible when mum is not there.

JanaMay

OP: you're doing a great job, don't ever forget that.
Maybe, as others have suggested, let someone else feed her from expressed breast-milk from a bottle when you're not there. You need a little time to yourself. Maybe try her with all the different foods you can for a few days, finger food etc. But she might not be ready, if not give it another week or so before trying again.
Don't worry yet about your friends wedding. A month is a lifetime to a little baby...it's a whole 1/6 of her little life and everything might be different by then. You might find that one day between this and then it all falls into place for you both.
Try to remember as well that they're little people, like us adults some prefer one thing to another, some of us sleep more and others sleep less, some have bigger appetites than others.
I feel for you though. And I hate that question 'is she good?' of course she is!!!! My MIL always asked me that about mine (my LO was the 'perfect' baby slept all night, ate everything etc) I always answered 'she's a baby'. (BTW I did everything the way you did...all babies are different as are all adults). People will always find something to advise/criticise.

silly

endacl wrote: »

Oh please please please please please don't take this ridiculous advice OP.
You're under enough stress with out getting charlatans involved.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2004/sep/23/badscience.science

She has already said she took the baby to a cranial Ostepath and it didnt work(if you read all her posts) I just suggested it as it worked for my baby. Worked very well infact.