Poorer mothers likely to return to work earlier

emmabrighton

"... working mothers spend as long as they can afford raising their infants at home. Mothers who took unpaid leave, in addition to six months’ paid maternity leave, were more likely to be better-educated and on higher incomes. Those most likely to return to work after their maternity leave finished were lone parents, the self-employed or those on lower income."

Full article here

This is a very emotive topic for me. I had to return to work after 6 months of maternity leave. I am not a single mother, I am not self employed and perhaps I am on a "lower income" as my income is increasingly garnished thanks to high taxation.

My baby boy fell and bumped his head this morning as I was leaving for work. I only had a short time to cuddle him as I was already late for work. I feel like a terrible mother. I cant help feeling that he is not getting the best of care because I am not home with him all day.

Being a middle income earner and educated to PhD level did not preclude me from having to return to work so soon.

I think that it is not just three types of mothers who fall into this category as, realistically, I am not in any of these categories. How did returning to work/the prospect of the impending return to work make you feel?

ash23

I was at home for 18 months as I was a young single parent. I had no family nearby and my wages would have been completely wiped out by childcare costs. I ended up having to wait until she was a bit older so that I could avail of cheaper childcare and go back to work.
For me personally I was looking forward to it.

I think the guilt just goes with the territory. My daughter is 10 now and I still feel guilty about working full time but I refuse to allow it to affect me. For example, even though she is on her summer holidays, I still have to get her up every morning at 7am, drop her to the minders and make my way to work. I feel slightly bad about it because she should get to enjoy her time off school but then again, I am working to provide a better life for her and sometimes sacrifices have to be made.
I'm sure stay at home parents who are a wage down often feel guilt over things being tight financially etc.

Being a parent is tough and imo, the key to being a good parent is to just trust that you are doing your best and that is all you can do.

Mink

I'm not highly educated and I don't get paid much so it probably wouldn't have been the absolute end of the universe if I hadn't gone back to work as we're not losing that much money - I would have had to find other ways of making a few bob from home.

But I felt I really needed to get back to work. I don't think it would have suited me to be a stay at home mother. Probably mainly because my friends and family do not live nearby and I live in a small town.

I was lucky enough that I could go back three days and I'm thankful for it as it gives me a break from being a mammy and I appreciate my time with the baby all the more. I would probably find working 5 days too hard, but again I have a long commute and my husband works two jobs so that has to get added into the mix.

I don't feel guilty about leaving him with the mil for the 3 days, he gets a break from me too. I don't think anyone should feel guilty getting their babies minded while they work

Hannibal Smith

On my first I really looked forward to going back. My mother stayed at home and was always so bitter about having to give up work to look after us that I didn't want to turn out like that. So it was very important to me that I go back.

After my second arrived...the economic crash had happened...I was on a 3 day week and my salary wouldn't cover 2 creche fees so there was no financial point to putting us all through the early morning rush.

So I've been a stay at home mum now and the money is tight but it woukd have been anyway. Im constantly on the look out for part time work, but its mornings like this im glad I haven't secured anything. My youngest has been up vomiting all night and I can take care of him and look after him like he needs without it being an inconvenience or having to worry about apologising to an employer and figuring out how to make up the day.

I will go back to work when the right job comes along, but it's nothing to do with my education, or social class...just financial common sense.

pwurple

I think it's pretty difficult to generalise as they have done here, as there are so many factors at play.

Proximity of good quality childcare (either relatives or creche)
Flexibility of working hours
Type of work

I don't get any paid maternity leave, but I did have the ability to go back to work on a 3 day week at the start. This meant I went back pretty much straight away after the state benefits dried up.

Sleepy

With the cost of childcare I'd love to see the underlying data set for this. Something tells me that while poorer mothers are likely to return to work faster after the first child, they're unlikely to return at all after a second (and any subsequent) until all the kids are of school-going age.

Guilt seems to go hand-in-hand with being a parent tbh. I feel guilty for the nights I have to spend away from home for work (even though they're infrequent), for not earning enough to support a nicer lifestyle (and yet if I was that career focused, I'm sure it would involve spending far less time with my kids which would in turn make me feel guilty. My other half feels guilty about not working, yet if she was, she'd probably feel guilty about leaving them in a creche. Catch 22 tbh.

Rose35

I went back to work after the six months maternity leave was up, i would have liked to have taken the extra time but with it being unpaid I felt it was more beneficial that money was coming in, now im not on a great wage thanks to the high level of taxes i pay and with childcare and all that, but also I felt that at 6 months my little man wouldnt have taken so much notice of me leaving him at creche as he still was that little bit too young, he settled in really quickly, but yes the guilt is always there, guess it goes with the territory, my little man now 11 months took a tumble yesterday morning and the guilt at then having to send him to creche, i just wanted to stay at home and cuddle him all day, I am educated to third level and middle income earner, so stats are not fitting to me.

emmabrighton

Rose35 wrote: »

my little man now 11 months took a tumble yesterday morning and the guilt at then having to send him to creche, i just wanted to stay at home and cuddle him all day, I am educated to third level and middle income earner, so stats are not fitting to me.

I had to reread your post to make sure it wasn't a quote of my above post. I am not surprised that the statistics aren't stacking up in this article. It is very misleading and could be damaging to parents well being thinking that they are doing something wrong because they are not in x, y or z group but still have their children in creche at an early age. :rolleyes:

ash23

It's ironic really because I know that as a single parent, a lot of people assume that single parents just pop out kids and stay at home indefinitely. Whereas this study shows they actually return to work earlier than others.
Obviously it's just a snapshot of the overall scheme of things but it's interesting to see that the statistics go against the stereotype.

Mary28

I took 15 months with the first, 11 with the 2nd and am taking 12 with the third.
I've a degree and a higher dip but my wages are average.

I work for a multi national with fantastic materniy leave policies and I can work a reduced week too but I still feel guilty. I haven't had a wage increase since I had my first child 5 yrs ago.

I hate leaving my children and paying strangers to look after them. I think we could afford for me not to work but my husband disagrees and I would worry about getting back into the workface if I did take a few yrs out. Also he contracts so I would not be comfortable giving up my permanent job.

Plenty of people on high incomes may also have high outgoings - boom mortgages for example - and may need to work for these reasons.

I also know a lot of women who worked hard to get where they are and were anxious to get back to work as soon as possible. They are ambitious.
I know plenty of women who find being at home quite hard regardless of income.

Personally I would love to be a stay at home mum. It seems to me it's not socially acceptable any more or even financially possible unless you are either very wealthy or quite poor. Out of every couple i know in Ireland only one couple I know has the mum stay at home. Virtually everyone I know would be educated to 3rd level.
I am jealous of our parents generation when nearly every mum was stay at home.

All the single mums I know are educated to 3rd level and work either part time or full time.

Ash23 I admire your attitude and your ethic, you are a great example for your daughter.