Grandparents!!!

maimai11

hello there

i just want to have a little rant about my partners parents, long story short, both my parents have passed away and my son would have been the only grandchild on my side of the family and his 2 years old and he was idolized by my father,on my partners side there about 19 grandchildren..

now i dont want to come across as ungrateful or greedy, but i feel like his parents are all about their daughters children, and my son is been left out and it really frustrates me, i would think they would give my son some more attention over him having no one from my family not around or the rest of my extended family dont bother with us since my father passed away..

my partner thinks im been foolish and will say " my parent have 19 grandchilden i doubt there is a favourite"

they are very good like, they will buy stuff for all the younger kids, but they always take their daughter and her child on day trips away and we never get asked and if we are asked on the rear chance its more of a after thought, i call into his mother alot, cause i miss my own, and none of her daughters call to see her still she is all about there children,,and now her daughter is pregnant again with a girl and i feel like my son will be totally forgotten about and it really upsets me,, all i want is someone to dote on him the same way my father did

am i been selfish??

Mink

I'd be upset too. Similar situation to you, both my parents passed when I was a teenager, my sisters live abroad, don't really have any other family of my own.

My husband's parents have 3 grandkids already, but really that's nothing compared to 19!! They have been very good to us and have been very good to me over the years. I think it would be different if a) she'd had daughters and b) had 19 grandkids.

I'll also say, few people realise how hard it is as a new mother not to have your own parents around anymore. I'd give anything for them to be back for even a day so they could see him. Even the day of his naming ceremony I was in bits over it and I'm not really a crier. It's a tough one!

What if you organised a day trip & invite the grandparents?

maimai11

iv done all that, when i drop my son to creche id call down and spend time with her i took her away on a day trip recently, and all she does is complain about her own children not calling to see her, and when her daughter calls on the rear occasion its all about her,, i think part of the problem is im jealous i dont have that bond with my mother anymore, and now the fact her daughter is pregnant with a girl shes very excited about it, i know my son will be totally forgoting about

pwurple

Why do you drop your son to a creche and then drop in? Bring him along too!

The more time people spend with eachother, the more the relationship builds. Involve them in his life as much as possible. Don't wait for them to ask, volunteer the information, show them the phone videos, show them his drawings, tell them about his day, all that kind of thing.

Out of sight - out of mind. Keep the contact up and the rest will follow.

December2012

Simply - you're not their child and it really is up to their child - your partner - to maintain the relationships.

Does he go and see his folks? Does he see his sisters and nieces / nephews?

It's not really their place to make up for what you're missing with the loss of your parents. It doesn't sound mean, it just seems like their lives are already full.

Xidu

Don't expect mother in law to treat u like ur own mother. U will always be disappointed.

Mintcrisp69

Xidu wrote: »

Don't expect mother in law to treat u like ur own mother. U will always be disappointed.

I agree, no wonder parenting books have a dedicated section purely to address Grandparents!