Met a girl on a beach, unsure now

dara_con

Hi all, I'm an 18 year old student in GMIT.

met a girl at furbo beach about 2 weeks ago when there with my sister and little brother.

I found out she was from Germany and she was in Ireland for 10 days. In ireland with her mother.
(5 days in Galway , 10 days in Dublin)

Got her fb name and we started talking and arranged to meet up on her 4th night .
Was with her from half 12 to half 3 at SPanish arch that night .
It definately wasn't just a fling , we did care about each other .

that was her last night in galway and the next day she left for dublin.
Was supposed to see her before she got on the bus but there was no time. She rang to say bye then after.

Anyway , we've been talking nearly everyday since we've met
I badly wanted to go to dublin to see her for the day but wasnt sure if it would be a bit forward?.
ASked one of my closest friends and he basically told me, if she means a lot to you go to see her again , its not forward , shell be back in germany soon and its sounds like ye both are really into each other

so on her last day in dublin she spent the day with me , I even had lunch with her and her mom :P

I know every guy says "this girl is different " but i really do think she is.

I just wanted to spend as much time with her as possible that day. I have NEVER "just wanted to spend time with a girl".

She was in Galway last year as well
I asked would she be back again next year and she said probably not for a few years because it's so expensive.

She's back in Germany now.
My question which i really hope someone will answer honestly is:

Am i being realistic in thinking I'll see her again ?
or is that me just being a love-struck fool?


2 people ive told said i wont see her again.
1 person said it sounds like something i should hold onto and that be hopeful that i will see her again, but not to get too attached.

Adrift

It's 50/50 mate. Best thing to do is keep in contact, see where that goes. If you're still both as excited in a few weeks time then maybe talk of meeting up somehow again.

desbrook

Good to see that romance is not dead ! A lot of posts especially the dating forum lead us to believe it is .

You are a romantic - so my answer must bear that in mind . You aren't a punter wanting to bet on a horse . The odds may be small of you seeing her again or anything coming of it but that doesn't mean you should just give up and never contact her again . That's where the romantic part comes in because if you do give up you will regret it telling yourself it might have worked out if you made more effort .

The effort (and expense!) these days of communicating with someone abroad is not as big as it was 20 years ago . With text-Skype and fb it's way easier . Keep it up see what happens . At least you can say you gave it a go :-)

Merkin

Awwww, I think if you're such a smitten kitten then there is no harm in keeping in touch and seeing where this leads. I wouldn't go putting my life on hold or deprive myself of other opportunities and experiences but you should definitely keep in touch by Facebook and Skype etc. It might lead somewhere and it might not.

My OH and I met in Uni and had amazing chemistry and snogged a few times. We then lost touch but never forgot one another as we felt that it was something special. Got back in touch recently enough. We're now married. Romance is not dead, trust me

Big Bag of Chips

My cousin met a fella in Australia while on a round the world trip in 2005. They met in a bar.

She left for home soon after.

They got married 3 weeks ago.

The whole wedding was about "nothing is impossible, if 2 people want the same thing".

Her husband said he knew he loved her that first night he met her. I remember when she came home, he was all she could talk about.. and between them they worked it out. She went back over to him for a while, he came here for a while, and she eventually moved there, and the longterm plan is to move back here.

It doesn't happen often... But it DOES happen.

m'lady

It's lovely how you are feeling towards this girl, and I would suggest what precious posters have said and keep in contact, and enjoy it- but I would advise you to not invest too much time in it until you know for sure how you both feel.. Hope it works out for you both!

dara_con

Thanks you all for all the replies..

Adrift ... Lets say we still are talking on facebook in a few weeks . there isn't really any hope of meeting up anytime soon becuase she's in Germany. And i am not by any means the richest student alive...

Would it be too forward if i was to go and visit her in Germany during the year?
I think what i will do is keep in contact and find out how i feel then make a decision whether to make an effort to see her or not
Is this a good idea?

Diddy Kong

Something similar happened a college friend of mine. During college he met a girl online from Canada, they spent about 6 months calling, texting, skypeing. At the end of the college year she came to Ireland for the summer (holiday and to see him) and at the end of the summer he had made up his mind to move to Canada. He is still over there with her, 7 years now.

If you are still in regular contact over the next few months, I'd say start saving and make a holiday of it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Pj!

It wouldn't be too forward at all OP. See how the communications go in the meantime and work from there.

You'll regret it if you don't. And nobody who holds the benefit of experience is going to tell you any different.


Best of luck.

iusedtoknow

I met my wife when she was coming to the end of her erasmus time in Ireland.

We had like 3 weeks before she left to go back to Spain, I was busy with exams and work - saw her maybe 4 or 5 times in that 3 week period (i say 5, she says 4) - both of us made our intentions pretty clear by the 3rd time. She left in May of 2005

I still had time left in college (she had another 4, medical studies), went long distance for a year and I ended up moving to Barcelona, now married.

It could have gone either way, but it was worth the shot - i'd say the same to you...it could go either way, but try anyway.

EdenHazard

Awesome story.

dara_con

iusedtoknow..when you say " both of us made our intentions pretty clear by the 3rd time"... what do you mean? that is if you don't mind me asking?

On our second and last day together in Dublin, we took the dart to the beach and we made it pretty clear to each other that it wasn't a fling.
I'm just so confused , like I know it wasn't a fling, she knows it wasn't a fling, but that doesn't necessarily make it something very special, but then again i do like spending time with her... i don't know :S
I think i'm not 100% sure how i feel about her yet.. is that a good conclusion?

Also, I'm just turned 18 and my parents are quite strict

Paco Rodriguez

Hi OP

Rather than it being too forward, I would think it is important that you go to Germany to visit her this year, and show her that you care.

There is no reason why you shouldnt try. You're young and have it all ahead of you.
Germany is just 2 hour flight..... You could get there quicker than from Galway to Cork......but if you were dating a girl from Cork it wouldnt seem such long distance.

As for costs just try to get a part time job if you are in college and put money aside for airfare in a seperate jar.
It won't be easy but it will be worth it.

iusedtoknow

dara_con wrote: »

iusedtoknow..when you say " both of us made our intentions pretty clear by the 3rd time"... what do you mean? that is if you don't mind me asking?

/

I came out and said to her that I liked her a lot, and would like to continue seeing her. She said she felt the same, but was afraid of saying it.

From then on, we saw each other every 2 or 3 months, whenever we could get time away, I would go over there in the summer for a week or two, and vice versa. I worked all through college, and in a funny way having a relationship kept me focussed. I worked evenings so was able to save money by not going out a lot, and in fairness - i lived with parents so that saved cash as well.

Keep talking to her - going over would not be too forward at all, but the main thing is to stay in contact.

dara_con

I am very sorry about how long this next section is, but it would mean the world to me if people could help me out here
This is the one thing that is really making me doubt this "thing" , whatever it is we have.

I have asked 1 person (given them the entire story) and they have said its possible at first i was being played but then she developed feelings for me.

I CANNOT BELIEVE I LEFT OUT THIS PART :



The night in the spanish kicked off at like 12.30.
But that wasnt the beginning!
I arranged to meet up with her that night at 9 and when i was looking for her in town she texted me saying that "another guy wants to join us " (a muay thai fighter from offaly who wanted to join the british army)

And i was like wtf ?
So we met and he and I got on great , which is besides the point.
Anyway we went to an off licence for cans , and he bought a bottle of water .
While he was in the queue she pulled me to one side and asked "is it ok that he's here.. I wasn't sure"
I told her i wanted it to be me and her but he's here now so ....

So we went to a pub then , he went to the bathroom and she asked me the same question again.
And i replied .. i woulda preferred if it was me and you but he and I are getting on ok now. She was a little sad/ disapointed judging from her facial expression

*****
Anyway, just before leaving the pub, me and him were in the bathroom and thats when he interviewed me.
He asked how we met -- i said on a beach 2 days before
He replied he met her on a beach the day before also. (Quite pissed off right now)

Then he asked do i have any interest in her ... and i told him What do you think?
And he said .."it's just that i met her on a beach yesterday and i kissed her" (Fuming at this point, don't know why i didn't walk out)

Also, throughout the night she was mentioning that she had to be home at 12 .

So we walked to the top of eyre square (10 mins after 12) when i said i was leaving and as soon as i said that she was like i have to go too, I'm late (her hostel was just at the bottom of eyre square).
Just before she left, i told her to check her phone in a bit.
I sent her a text, to meet me after ALONE.

Then she legged it (and i mean FULL ON SPRINT) back to her hostel ... with him running after her
So waited for about 20 mins for a call from her but was also waiting for my friend who had locked his bike to mine then to the bike rack.

Cycled a bit of the way home then got a call from saying that she was outside the hostel now and she was wondering where i was

Anyway thats when i met her again and we went to the Spanish arch

I asked her when i was saying goodbye to her about the other guy . She was begging me to tell her what he was talking to me about in the bathroom in the pub.
I told her what he told me, he met her the day before and they kissed and she immediately started saying that he kissed her and that it was only a peck , that it wasn't a "kiss kiss".
When i asked what the hell she meant by a "kiss kiss" she said not the way we've been kissing tonight.
I also asked did anything happen when he and her were alone outside the hostel earlier in the night and she said no, thats why she ran back home, because she didn't want to be alone with him.

all This in my opinion was utter BS . but anyway kissed her and said bye.

Then on facebook a few days later i asked did she ask him to join us, and she replied no she was on her way to meet me and ran into him in town, and he said he wasn't sure if he shoulda gone back to the beach to look for her, she said that she was heading to a date with a guy ..Now i KNOW she didnt say this because no lad in their right mind would ask to tag along if a girl said she was going on a date.

Then in Dublin he came up again. And she asked me am i jealous? and i told her whats to be jealous of , you're here with me on your last day in Ireland, I'm happy. She then said , good because i have nothing to be jealous

Just mentioning that in Dublin, she made it very clear that she wanted to get to know me a lot better .

Questions
Opinion on whether she really did ask him to join us that day in town?
Am i just 1 of a list of guys she has "met" on a beach while on holidays?
Am i being played?

I know i should have not left this out..

Thank yo so much to anyone that can help.

Paco Rodriguez

From what I feel from reading it, is that I would believe that she is being sincere. I think that guy was just trying to win her over, and telling you about the kiss was just trying to unnerve you.
The girls seems very honest with you, she didn't deny the kiss with the guy and cared about you because she asked repeatedly if you felt comfortable.
And you say she was running away from the guy....well that says it.

And who met her in Dublin......yes you. So I wouldn't have any worries OP. I don't think you are being played.

Good luck

dara_con

could i please have more opinions please !
i know what i wrote is very long but i would really appreciate if i could get more opinions !

Pj!

Having experienced it your gut will probably tell you more OP.

But the fact that when you left she basically ran away from him at full speed and then met up with you again 20-30mins later would suggest she really wanted to spend more time with you than him.


Keep in contact if you want to and if things go well, to be real honest, it doesn't really matter if she kissed him on the day after ye first met.