What to do when neighbours crying baby keeps you upat night

Mc Kenzie

A work colleague has mentioned to me a problem o hers. And I thought I would post this issue to find others view.

She has been kept awake at night by her neighbours two year old who my colleague advises loud continuous crying. My colleague knows the neighbours and said the mother continuously carries child and when she puts baby down,,crying begins.

I understand babies cry and you give some acceptance, as I can understand. But if it keeps your neighbours up at night. What is the protocall, or is there a polite way to put it.

What are your thaughts in this case?

traineeacc

This is likely to get lots of emotive replies! The realty is there is really nothing you can do about it. Its hardly deliberate noise pollution!!!!

seamus

Legally nothing you can do about it.

The polite way to do it is to ask your neighbours which room the child sleeps in, make sure you're sleeping as far from there as you can, and use earplugs or white noise if you can still hear the child.

tunedout

Earplugs

endacl

Is the child legal? Did the neighbour get planning permission, or are they applying for retention?

:rolleyes:

I suggest your colleague either (a) moves, (b), doesn't move, but gets over herself.

johnnyskeleton

endacl wrote: »

Is the child legal?

An illegal child...as in...you're not suggesting its a fritzel baby are you?

LowKeyReturn

This is a two year old not a new born. The mother needs to begin teaching the child that crying isn't acceptable. Constantly attending a child, of that age, when it cries is the issue.

I'd suggest having a word with the mother and some of the suggestions above in the mean time. The only recourse would be through the agreements in the lease, assuming this is an apartment (which I am given the issue). What can be done other than a gentle push in the direction of a good parenting book though I've no idea.

I am pie

The "protocall" is to buy earplugs.

Children cry. Should we ban kids?

I am pie

LowKeyReturn wrote: »

This is a two year old not a new born. The mother needs to begin teaching the child that crying isn't acceptable. Constantly attending a child, of that age, when it cries is the issue.

I'd suggest having a word with the mother and some of the suggestions above in the mean time. The only recourse would be through the agreements in the lease, assuming this is an apartment (which I am given the issue). What can be done other than a gentle push in the direction of a good parenting book though I've no idea.

You would suggest contacting the mother and telling her to raise her children? Let us know how that goes.

LowKeyReturn

The typical Irish/British attitude of children <insert behaviour here>, therefore it's everyone else's problem.

wexie

LowKeyReturn wrote: »

This is a two year old not a new born. The mother needs to begin teaching the child that crying isn't acceptable. Constantly attending a child, of that age, when it cries is the issue.

I'd suggest having a word with the mother and some of the suggestions above in the mean time. The only recourse would be through the agreements in the lease, assuming this is an apartment (which I am given the issue). What can be done other than a gentle push in the direction of a good parenting book though I've no idea.

Unfortunately it would seem that bad parenting in and of itself isnt illegal

johnnyskeleton

wexie wrote: »

Unfortunately it would seem that bad parenting in and of itself isnt illegal

But if the Simpsons has thought us anything, bad babysitting is.

mikom

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

She has been kept awake at night by her neighbours two year old who my colleague advises loud continuous crying. My colleague knows the neighbours and said the mother continuously carries child and when she puts baby down,,crying begins.

A two year old continuously crying?
A two year old continuously being carried around by its mother when awake?
What's that, like 30 pounds or so?

Sounds like a right odd situation.

LowKeyReturn

wexie wrote: »

Unfortunately it would seem that bad parenting in and of itself isnt illegal

I wouldn't go as far as to say it's 'bad' - it's perfectly natural - unfortunately people raise kids with their instincts rather than logic, which leads to issues later on and for others around them. I realise a good mis of both is required but the attitude here, as I say, is one of selfishness when it comes to many parents.

bumper234

LowKeyReturn wrote: »

This is a two year old not a new born. The mother needs to begin teaching the child that crying isn't acceptable. Constantly attending a child, of that age, when it cries is the issue.

I'd suggest having a word with the mother and some of the suggestions above in the mean time. The only recourse would be through the agreements in the lease, assuming this is an apartment (which I am given the issue). What can be done other than a gentle push in the direction of a good parenting book though I've no idea.

You ever had a child that's teething? Yes even at 2 years old children can still be teething. What would be the next great piece of parenting advice be? Lock the child in a cupboard like Harry Potter? As you stated this is a TWO year old child tell your work collegue to cop the **** on.

LowKeyReturn

bumper234 wrote: »

You ever had a child that's teething? Yes even at 2 years old children can still be teething. What would be the next great piece of parenting advice be? Lock the child in a cupboard like Harry Potter? As you stated this is a TWO year old child tell your work collegue to cop the **** on.

Actually aside from the swearing it's not a bad point could be a kid teething, unfortunately along with the I PARENT NO ONE ELSE MATTERS!!!! We've also been completely overtaken by the health and safety brigade, a bit of diluted scotch on the thumb to suck and a good nights sleep is had by all.

Won't someone think of the children!!!

wexie

LowKeyReturn wrote: »

I wouldn't go as far as to say it's 'bad' - it's perfectly natural - unfortunately people raise kids with their instincts rather than logic, which leads to issues later on and for others around them. I realise a good mis of both is required but the attitude here, as I say, is one of selfishness when it comes to many parents.

hmmmm.....I guess it's not bad parenting in the grand scheme of things. However, I think if the parents approach 'sleeping' and 'bedtime' with a bit more structure and discipline from a younger age you'll find that the a lot (if not most) 2 yr olds (when healthy) will quite happily sleep through the night.

The problem here is probably that the mother has gotten the child used to sleeping in her arms so it won't sleep until it's picked back up.

Really the only thing that can be done, IMHO, is to just let the child cry, for however long it takes (unless they get very distressed) until it learns to sleep in bed at bedtime. It's hard work and can be heartbreaking, but the current situation isn't doing anybody any good. Least of all the child.

Victor

Perhaps talk to the neighbour and suggest help from the public health nurse or parent and child groups.

DoozerT6

Those suggesting earplugs may forget that they may prevent someone from hearing their alarm clock in the morning. I know it would put me off wearing them during the working week, making a constantly crying baby very irritating. Saying 'get over it' is one thing. Actually having to put up with listening to someone else's child squawking at 3am when you have to get up for work and can't do anything about quietening them is quite another. Try it sometime

Mc Kenzie

Its quite a Difficult one and of course I realise the child is not a " legal matter" I was not sure exactly where to post. I think my colleague has aright to feel frustrated. I have worked a lot in the past with children from 8months-18 Months an more...its unusual for a child to cry constantly. They will for a period but then tire themselves out. But I feel for the parents too.

Grolschevik

Why is this in this forum?

bumper234

Grolschevik wrote: »

Why is this in this forum?

Wants to know if it's ok to muzzle/gag/drug/ the child or something.

No Pants

I don't think there are any legal remedies. You can adapt by changing your sleeping area or using earplugs, but as was mentioned, there could be consequences from that. You can intervene, approach the mother about it, but be careful or your intervention will not be welcomed. However, she may be embarrassed about it too. You could also retaliate, playing Michael Bay movies or music loudly at odd hours of the night.

quad_red

As has been said, the child could be teething. Or the child could have an illness. Or the child could have some sort of intellectual disability.

Or it could just be some 'inefficient' parenting (given the range of child abuse out there, an over attentive parent who answers their child's cries too intently is hardly a 'bad parent').

Is the house rented or owned? Cos if both people are owners, they have to live with one another for a long time to come. Souring the relationship with criticisms of people's parenting may be self defeating.

On average, you would assume this wont continue much longer. If I was them I'd give ear plugs a go for a while longer.

You never know - they may have kids as well and *shock* they may not not be cut from the Gina Ford template either ;p

Duckjob

A bit of perspective might help. It's not a case of neighbours being deliberately noisy, throwing wild parties etc. The childs mother is most likely 10 times as frazzled as the OP by the constant crying. She would probably give her right arm to have a wall between her and the crying and only hear what OP hears.

This thread caught my eye on the front page because the title could have been written by me

I have the same problem, the child cries, no screams, all the time. I have thick walls and wouldn't hear anything else from my neighbours house but there have been nights when I have been kept awake til all hours and nights where all seems quiet but I've been woken up hearing this child screaming and it certainly sounds like she is being left to cry it out. I live in a long semi detached bungalow, my bedrooms are attached to their bedrooms.

What can I do about it? Sleep on the sofa!!

tony1980

I would take sleeping on the sofa for a nights sleep any day over looking after a possibly sick/teething baby which may have a number of different things going on that is upsetting it.
At that age, the poor thing is probably getting its eye teeth which is supposed to be the worst of the lot!
My little fella was suffering from this recently, they weren't fully down, then it went quiet for a couple of weeks and now they are bad again, he has a big rash on his jaw over this, I would say its very painful and sometimes medication just doesn't work to help them. I feel for you OP but I would rather be on that side of the fence than be the one trying to soothe the baby back to sleep!

tony1980

tony1980 wrote: »

I would take sleeping on the sofa for a nights sleep any day over looking after a possibly sick/teething baby which may have a number of different things going on that is upsetting it.

I wasn't suggesting otherwise. I would have gone off my rocker a long time ago if I had to live with my neighbours' child.

CreepingDeath

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

A work colleague has mentioned to me a problem o hers. And I thought I would post this issue to find others view.

She has been kept awake at night by her neighbours two year old who my colleague advises loud continuous crying. My colleague knows the neighbours and said the mother continuously carries child and when she puts baby down,,crying begins.

I understand babies cry and you give some acceptance, as I can understand. But if it keeps your neighbours up at night. What is the protocall, or is there a polite way to put it.

What are your thaughts in this case?

Give the mother a good hug and see if she needs a baby sitter for a night or two.
The child is probably picking up on the mothers stress levels and needs comfort to reassure her they're okay.

December2012

There are three people who need to learn sleeping techniques;

The child
The child's mother
The neighbour

All are being kept awake by distractions, be it teething, pain, discomfort or a crying child.

The only thing the neighbour can control is her self.

So she needs to learn how to sleep in this situation.

I suggest listening to white noise on a smart phone using earbuds. The alarm will still go off.

Pat Mustard

I am pie wrote: »

Children cry. Should we ban kids?

We bloody well should. Chaotic little buggers cause no end of nuisance.

Unfortunately, the Troika requires us to groom them as debt-slaves to the nation's difficulty, so personal preference goes out the window.

I'd cry too, with options like his.

Chin up for The Fatherland.