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Slobby officemate eating junkfood loudly at desk.

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2

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    #32
    jr22
    Registered Users Posts: 141 ✭✭jr22


    boogle wrote: »
    Buy a load of these: http://www.panelwarehouse.com/jumbo-display-stands-c7/jumbo-display-stand-4-panel-with-aluminium-frame-p27
    and box yourself in. Or else box her in.



    If I could get a roof onto it, it'd be ideal!


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    #33
    SEPT 23 1989
    Registered Users Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    jr22 wrote: »
    Substantial.

    i thought as much

    are you proficient in the use of a harpoon?


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    #34
    bumper234
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭bumper234


    Feed it.....feed it loads and loads and loads.....make it your pet project to see just how fat you can get it before it does a Homer Simpson and works from home due to morbid obesity.


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    #35
    RikkFlair
    Registered Users Posts: 3,094 ✭✭✭RikkFlair


    jr22 wrote: »
    Substantial.

    A real woman with curves?


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    #36
    bumper234
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭bumper234


    Tame it on a date.

    Go to the beach and have a picnic....hopefully a passing greenpeace ship will spot it and try drag it back out to sea.


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    #37
    xXxkorixXx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 438 ✭✭xXxkorixXx


    Is she sweating profusely as she grazes on the biccies?


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    #38
    SEPT 23 1989
    Registered Users Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    bumper234 wrote: »
    Tame it on a date.

    Go to the beach and have a picnic....hopefully a passing greenpeace ship will spot it and try drag it back out to sea.

    She might sink into the sand


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    #39
    jr22
    Registered Users Posts: 141 ✭✭jr22


    RikkFlair wrote: »
    A real woman with curves?

    Not to be fattist, but it's more like one continuous curve, like a beach ball.


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    #40
    jr22
    Registered Users Posts: 141 ✭✭jr22


    xXxkorixXx wrote: »
    Is she sweating profusely as she grazes on the biccies?


    Yep, with a fan aimed at her.


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    #41
    Rented Mule
    Registered Users Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭Rented Mule


    jr22 wrote: »
    Fecking Ginger Nuts!

    I don't leave home without mine.

    Gingers RULE !!


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    #42
    SEPT 23 1989
    Registered Users Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    She sounds like a fire hazard

    could you have a word with Health & Safety?


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    #43
    coffee_cake
    Registered Users Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Ginger nuts and tea would be lovely


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    #44
    RikkFlair
    Registered Users Posts: 3,094 ✭✭✭RikkFlair


    Jaysus I'd murder a bag of cheese and onion now


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    #45
    zenno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,377 ✭✭✭zenno


    Does she eat cheddar cheese by any chance ?

    Is this her by any chance ?


    EDIT: I'm a fat bastard as well but at least i have an open mouth mind.


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    #46
    jr22
    Registered Users Posts: 141 ✭✭jr22


    zenno wrote: »
    Does she eat cheddar cheese by any chance ?

    Is this her by any chance ?


    EDIT: I'm a fat bastard as well but at least i have an open mouth mind.

    A close relative maybe!


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    #47
    zenno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,377 ✭✭✭zenno


    jr22 wrote: »
    A close relative maybe!

    Maybe ;)


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    #48
    ulinbac
    Registered Users Posts: 707 ✭✭✭ulinbac


    bumper234 wrote: »
    Feed it.....feed it loads and loads and loads.....make it your pet project to see just how fat you can get it before it does a Homer Simpson and works from home due to morbid obesity.


    Brilliant plan!!! Take a before and after pic like people do when trying to lose weight!:D


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    #49
    zenno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,377 ✭✭✭zenno


    ulinbac wrote: »
    Brilliant plan!!! Take a before and after pic like people do when trying to lose weight!:D

    It doesn't always work out well though.


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    #50
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Ginger nuts and tea would be lovely

    No!

    Jaffa cakes and tea is the correct answer


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    #51
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    No!

    Jaffa cakes and tea is the correct answer

    Eww!

    Jaffa cakes and milk.


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    #52
    SpaceTime
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,088 ✭✭✭SpaceTime


    I suppose you could discover that you have a serious problem with mice under the desk!
    If not, bring in some mice. They're cuter and fluffier than cockroaches.

    Then they'll have to ban eating at the desk for health and safety reasons.

    We'd someone like that in our office. She even installed a small fridge and a toaster under her desk that used to occasionally blow the fuses on the desk-sockets that were only intended for PCs.


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    #53
    bumper234
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭bumper234


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    No!

    Jaffa cakes and tea is the correct answer

    Lidl CHERRY jaffa cakes ftw ;)


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    #54
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 6,025 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Gift wrap a funnel, with a note attached saying

    ' here this will help you get it down quicker'


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    #55
    zenno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,377 ✭✭✭zenno


    OP, are you telling me that there is no canteen in the work-place ?

    If so, put up a sign saying no eating @ the work-station. Lunch can only be eaten at canteen or outside of work-station, there ye go.


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    #56
    jr22
    Registered Users Posts: 141 ✭✭jr22


    zenno wrote: »
    OP, are you telling me that there is no canteen in the work-place ?

    If so, put up a sign saying no eating @ the work-station. Lunch can only be eaten at canteen or outside of work-station, there ye go.

    There's no policy on eating at desks and it'd be near impossible to implement as it's a huge organisation with lax enough policies that cover multiple sites. I'm so junior, I'd probably be eaten alive for trying to get something like that put in place. :p

    The canteen in the building is tiny but there's a serious park beside us and a ton of really nice cafés and subsidised canteens on site, not even a minutes walk away. People get out and about at lunchtime or are generally polite enough if eating in the office.

    I actually wouldn't mind so much if it was lunch she was eating but it is literally a non-stop binging session. Bars, cans of coke and crisps from the vending machine, dawn till dusk. She rarely seems to eat a lunch, as in a sandwich or god forbid, a feckin' salad.

    She horses through anything up to 5/6 bars of chocolate or packs of Skittles/Starbursts a day in the office, washed down with fizzy drinks and a couple of bags of crisps on the side, no exaggeration. All done at maximum volume. And that's just at work. It's unreal.

    If she walks to the photocopier, 20 yards down the corridor, she has to turn on the fan in the office to cool down afterwards from the exertion.


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    #57
    jr22
    Registered Users Posts: 141 ✭✭jr22


    SpaceTime wrote: »
    We'd someone like that in our office. She even installed a small fridge and a toaster under her desk that used to occasionally blow the fuses on the desk-sockets that were only intended for PCs.

    FFS :D


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    #58
    Karl Stein
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,689 ✭✭✭Karl Stein


    zenno wrote: »
    I'm a fat bastard as well...

    You come across as quite thin on the internet.


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    #59
    Archeron
    Registered Users Posts: 6,252 ✭✭✭Archeron


    OP, you know those moments of peace you have when she goes to the toilet? Next time, just visualise that in that time she is plonked on the bowl blowing out ginger scented half digested pieces of flubber scutter.

    I hope this helps.


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    #60
    truebluesac
    Registered Users Posts: 406 ✭✭truebluesac


    Next time she leaves take a big hot steaming dump on her key board . Thst should stop her eating there


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    #61
    zenno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,377 ✭✭✭zenno


    jr22 wrote: »
    There's no policy on eating at desks and it'd be near impossible to implement as it's a huge organisation with lax enough policies that cover multiple sites. I'm so junior, I'd probably be eaten alive for trying to get something like that put in place. :p

    The canteen in the building is tiny but there's a serious park beside us and a ton of really nice cafés and subsidised canteens on site, not even a minutes walk away. People get out and about at lunchtime or are generally polite enough if eating in the office.

    I actually wouldn't mind so much if it was lunch she was eating but it is literally a non-stop binging session. Bars, cans of coke and crisps from the vending machine, dawn till dusk. She rarely seems to eat a lunch, as in a sandwich or god forbid, a feckin' salad.

    She horses through anything up to 5/6 bars of chocolate or packs of Skittles/Starbursts a day in the office, washed down with fizzy drinks and a couple of bags of crisps on the side, no exaggeration. All done at maximum volume. And that's just at work. It's unreal.

    If she walks to the photocopier, 20 yards down the corridor, she has to turn on the fan in the office to cool down afterwards from the exertion.

    I see. Well in that case, it looks like you have no choice except for to get an exorcist unfortunately :(


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