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Slobby officemate eating junkfood loudly at desk.

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    #62
    zenno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,377 ✭✭✭zenno


    Cathal Cloch wrote: »
    You come across as quite thin on the internet.

    Oh, i'm very thin when it comes to the internet indeed, especially when i can de-fat myself with photoshop cs6, it makes me feel so much thinner.


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    #63
    Somewhat Lacking
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13 ✭Somewhat Lacking


    truebluesac wrote: »
    Next time she leaves take a big hot steaming dump on her key board . Thst should stop her eating there
    Probably wouldn't.


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    #64
    cruais
    Registered Users Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭cruais


    Stop slagging fat birds :p


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    #65
    Somewhat Lacking
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13 ✭Somewhat Lacking


    Hope she's reading this thread and spitefully doubles the yawns, triples the consumption and quadruples the noise.
    Stop slagging fat birds
    Are you a fat bird?


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    #66
    cruais
    Registered Users Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭cruais


    Somewhat Lacking wrote: »
    Hope she's reading this thread and spitefully doubles the yawns, triples the consumption and quadruples the noise.


    Are you a fat bird?

    Far from it.. I see your somewhat lacking originality


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    #67
    Somewhat Lacking
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13 ✭Somewhat Lacking


    cruais wrote: »
    Far from it.. I see your somewhat lacking originality
    Well hey... the username don't lie.


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    #68
    coffee_cake
    Registered Users Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    No!

    Jaffa cakes and tea is the correct answer
    Lucyfur wrote: »
    Eww!

    Jaffa cakes and milk.
    bumper234 wrote: »
    Lidl CHERRY jaffa cakes ftw ;)

    Good god it's going from bad to worse!!


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    #69
    Ruu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,622 ✭✭✭Ruu


    Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »
    Se7en?

    Never saw it, plot sounds similar.


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    #70
    antodeco
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 13,498 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    Put a load of crumbs on her keyboard so it stops working. IT will give out to her


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    #71
    bumper234
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭bumper234


    antodeco wrote: »
    Put a load of crumbs on her keyboard so it stops working. IT will give out to her

    Na they would just replace that keyboards are cheap as chips. Get some food (ham, cheese, chocolate etc) and put it in a couple of bags in the hot press/direct sunlight. Leave it there for a week or two till it's rank. Get into work early and (wearing gloves, marigolds ftw ;) ) start putting food in the corners under her desk and behind stuff. Call manager over and complain about the smell (health and safety dept could also be bought in on this) and ask to be moved as the smell i making you violently ill.


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    #72
    mattjack
    Registered Users Posts: 5,389 ✭✭✭mattjack


    bumper234 wrote: »
    Na they would just replace that keyboards are cheap as chips. Get some food (ham, cheese, chocolate etc) and put it in a couple of bags in the hot press/direct sunlight. Leave it there for a week or two till it's rank. Get into work early and (wearing gloves, marigolds ftw ;) ) start putting food in the corners under her desk and behind stuff. Call manager over and complain about the smell (health and safety dept could also be bought in on this) and ask to be moved as the smell i making you violently ill.

    While your idea is good , I suggest the OP puts a little box and on her desk with a little card saying "from a secret admirer " , the box should contain laxative chocolate.

    For added effect put laxatives into the office water cooler.

    Your Welcome

    Mattjack.


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    #73
    WinnyThePoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,417 ✭✭✭WinnyThePoo


    Link her to this thread.


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    #74
    Teyla Emmagan
    Registered Users Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    I could handle the eating, but constant snot sniffing is revolting. I would be shoving her tissues and asking her to blow her nose if that was me. Mind you, I'm the one who had an ongoing row for 2 years or so with the girl who sat beside me in work. She said she sniffed because her nose had been broken, I said she should get plastic surgery then and have it fixed. Strangely we never really came to an agreement on that one.


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    #75
    Mr_Spaceman
    Registered Users Posts: 2,958 ✭✭✭Mr_Spaceman


    jr22 wrote: »
    all I can hear is the sound of biscuits being annihilated, drinks being slurped, crisp bags being molested.

    Quality!

    :pac:


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    #76
    bumper234
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭bumper234


    mattjack wrote: »
    While your idea is good , I suggest the OP puts a little box and on her desk with a little card saying "from a secret admirer " , the box should contain laxative chocolate.

    For added effect put laxatives into the office water cooler.

    Your Welcome

    Mattjack.

    Do not do this! You get caught or she has a bad reaction and you are now in actual bodily harm/ jail time scenario!


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    #77
    mattjack
    Registered Users Posts: 5,389 ✭✭✭mattjack


    bumper234 wrote: »
    Do not do this! You get caught or she has a bad reaction and you are now in actual bodily harm/ jail time scenario!

    No , do it , in the name of Boards AH I dare you OP .

    Prison doesn't scare me .


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    #78
    bumper234
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭bumper234


    mattjack wrote: »
    No , do it , in the name of Boards AH I dare you OP .

    Prison doesn't scare me .

    Why would you actively encourage a poster to physically assault someone?


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    #79
    DoozerT6
    Registered Users Posts: 2,589 ✭✭✭DoozerT6


    bumper234 wrote: »
    Why would you actively encourage a poster to physically assault someone?


    ....do you really think he was serious about the laxatives??? :confused:


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    #80
    bumper234
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭bumper234


    DoozerT6 wrote: »
    ....do you really think he was serious about the laxatives??? :confused:

    It's AH!!!!! Would ANYTHING surprise you??? :D


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    #81
    Drakares
    Registered Users Posts: 904 ✭✭✭Drakares


    Offer to make her a cup of tea. Then put low fat milk in it. That will disgust her to the core and force her to leave the job.


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    #82
    mattjack
    Registered Users Posts: 5,389 ✭✭✭mattjack


    DoozerT6 wrote: »
    ....do you really think he was serious about the laxatives??? :confused:

    I am serious ,...

    Bumper234 if you say laxative very slowly three times , it sounds like gullible.


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    #83
    Fridge
    Registered Users Posts: 286 ✭✭Fridge


    I have to listen to this kind of slobbering in work too, amongst other weird noises. It makes me want to ban eating at desks. They've obviously no table manners, or else they don't think it applies if they're not actually at a dinner table.

    I keep throwing her filthies, but she has her back to me, so I think I'm just wasting my time.

    Food that smells is especially inconsiderate when you're in an office space. Used to work with a guy who'd eat stinky weird fish dishes at 11am! He had his lunch early because he was a health freak but it make us simultaneously sick and hungry.


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    #84
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    I started reading this thread before I realised it was two months old.

    And now all I can think of is going down the shops to buy a packet of ginger nuts.


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    #85
    jr22
    Registered Users Posts: 141 ✭✭jr22


    seamus wrote: »
    I started reading this thread before I realised it was two months old.

    And now all I can think of is going down the shops to buy a packet of ginger nuts.


    Don't eat them in the office though Seamus, for the love of God!


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    #86
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    Come in on Monday morning as usual, and just as she enters the office, duck down and shout out 'OHMYGOD!! AN ASTROID!!! WE'RE ALL GONNE DI.. Oh, it's you...'.

    Might be enough to make her change her eating habits.


    Or it may give her the idea to eat lots of Mars bars, Milky Ways and Galaxys...
    Worth the risk!


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    #87
    Bog Standard User
    Registered Users Posts: 847 ✭✭✭Bog Standard User


    jr22 wrote: »
    Fecking Ginger Nuts!

    buy her a packet of rich tea... she can dunk them in her tea to get a deeper richer slurping sound


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