A generation of "Cotton Wool Kids"

listermint

Love2love wrote: »

How can you be certain that my child is safe in my front garden or on my road?

Im going to give an actual response to that now.


Your child will be safe if you keep them boundaries like a 'normal' person. i.e. based on their age they are only allowed play in the front garden. And they are not allowed to talk to other adults.

If an adults asks them a question they come get mammy, Mammy has a look out the window every now and again.

No one is asking you to put a 5 year old on a main road, i dont subscribe to hysterics.

Love2love

listermint wrote: »

Oh jesus, fine. lock them up in the bedroom somewhere with the TV for company.

If we are going to the ideals of extremes, there is my response on it so.

But I don't lock him up. And I don't Molly coddle him either. I take him to the park everyday, I arrange play dates all the time. On top of family trips once a week with his cousins. The only thing I don't do is allow him play out alone. He's only 6! And I live right beside a Motorway.... Am I a bad parent for thinking of his safety?

If I were to allow him out I get judged by some and if I don't, I'm judged by you but at all that really matter is that I'm doing the best I can with the situation I am in. No parent will get it right all of the time

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Love2love wrote: »

Again, I'm not saying it is. All I'm saying is that you are putting your child at risk and I can understand why certain parents aren't willing to make that choice.

Love2love wrote: »

How can you be certain that my child is safe in my front garden or on my road?

My point entirely: there is always some element of risk. There is no 100% risk-free way of raising a child. None. Not even in your own garden. But you put them in a car or on a train, you're taking a risk - probably more of a risk - and how many times has your child been in a vehicle? And how many times did you worry when they were?

RachaelVO

listermint wrote: »

My current theories ? They arent theories.

Have you read my posts ?

Your kids are more likely to be abused by someone you know - FACT.

Are your kids likely to be abused at all. No. FACT ( the odds are very poor on abuse for kids)

Are your kids going to be okay in the front garden ? Certainly yes they are.
Are your kids going to be okay on the path outside your house ? Certainly yes they are.

Does any of the above constitute bad parenting ? No it doesnt.


Having grown up around kids that were molly coddled, tbh sounds like yours might be in this bracket. The kids always turned out a tad odd and were even odder teenagers. Thats because they have been socialised that way by parental choice.

Ive been looking after kids for years so dont give me speel about me not having the gift of kids myself yada yada.

My kids will get the same up bringing i and my siblings got. Which was 'not no boundaries' it was set boundaries and everyone of us went on to college and have extremely good jobs. And i see my parents every week.

Meanwhile my cousin is still living at home with his mother and father with no job molly coddled like the edgit he turned out to be.

There is a difference between spoiling and protecting your kids, your cousin is clearly a spoilt brat.

You do have one thing VERY wrong, you won't bring your kids up like your parents brought you up. Parents now have many more influences (good and bad) to combat/use. For example standards and views towards sexual identity have changed, as it has for a whole lot of social issues. Another example is how there have been migrant populations in Ireland, certainly wasn't the case when I was a child, so the first time a saw a black man was in London and I was truly fascinated. So social issues alone will prevent that. What's weirder is, and I know there was always Paedophiles around when we were kids, but when you have kids you see the headlines a whole lot clearer and it's frightening. You just can't disregard that by adding yes or no to the end of a sentence.

Mine are spoiled by their grandparents, and that's fine that's a grandparents job, my job is to ensure that they don't take it for granted that they think they can get what they want and when they want. They're spoilt because their grandparents have more money and less grandchildren than mine had.

Love2love

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

My point entirely: there is always some element of risk. There is no 100% risk-free way of raising a child. None. Not even in your own garden. But you put them in a car or on a train, you're taking a risk - probably more of a risk - and how many times has your child been in a vehicle? And how many times did you worry when they were?

Again, there will always be risks. But putting my child safety in his own hands when he's not that capable of understanding what the risk is, is a bit much.

iguana

I'm a parent and it scares the shít out of me that my son will very likely miss out on a normal and healthy part of childhood because of fearmongering. Even if I don't succumb to it and let him out to play by himself as he gets older who the hell is he going to play with? I really don't understand it from a logical standpoint. Does anyone really believe that children are somehow more likely to be abducted and abused now than they were when we were children? Really? Yet we know that one of the biggest risks to children's safety is a car crash and yet most parents turn their babies forward facing in cars around the age of 1, despite the fact that it is significantly safer to keep them rear facing until 5 or 6. It just seems like a weird fashionable handwringing because if people were genuinely worried, they'd assess the risks properly, make the small but unfashionable changes that make a real difference and that includes allowing their children more of the freedoms previous generations of children enjoyed because they are an important part of becoming an adult.

It never ceases to amaze me how in modern society, parents of babies are pushed to force independence on them but once the babies become children we are supposed to curtail that independence almost entirely.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Love2love wrote: »

Again, there will always be risks. But putting my child safety in his own hands when he's not that capable of understanding what the risk is, is a bit much.

Agreed, but my point was: how far do you go to try and ensure 100% safety? Is this in the best interst of the child? (admittedly, older than yours, as I said earlier).

But should a child be allowed to NOT play in the garden simple because a child somewhere got abducted from a garden?

listermint

RachaelVO wrote: »

There is a difference between spoiling and protecting your kids, your cousin is clearly a spoilt brat.

You do have one thing VERY wrong, you won't bring your kids up like your parents brought you up. Parents now have many more influences (good and bad) to combat/use. For example standards and views towards sexual identity have changed, as it has for a whole lot of social issues. Another example is how there have been migrant populations in Ireland, certainly wasn't the case when I was a child, so the first time a saw a black man was in London and I was truly fascinated. So social issues alone will prevent that. What's weirder is, and I know there was always Paedophiles around when we were kids, but when you have kids you see the headlines a whole lot clearer and it's frightening. You just can't disregard that by adding yes or no to the end of a sentence.

Mine are spoiled by their grandparents, and that's fine that's a grandparents job, my job is to ensure that they don't take it for granted that they think they can get what they want and when they want. They're spoilt because their grandparents have more money and less grandchildren than mine had.

Thats the thing he wasnt spoiled so to speak, he was molly coddled. I know the difference. He was never given the latest gadgets and shoes and clothes. Just on a a ridculously tight reign. And theres the results, hes reigned himself into still living in the house. congrats to them on that one.

Yes i will bring my kids up the same why? because life is exactly the same. The only difference is il have to program my router in the house with some obvious limits.

Abuse, Abduction all that is nothing new, Its you that is letting the media inside your head. That your issue, not the worlds fault. Its no more rampant than it ever was.

And what the hell do other cultures have to do with anything ? Black people? What ???

downonthefarm

while I agree in part unfortunately the paedofiles turned out to family friends and members 9times out of 10

listermint

Love2love wrote: »

Again, there will always be risks. But putting my child safety in his own hands when he's not that capable of understanding what the risk is, is a bit much.

Children are certainly able to ascertain risk, your perception that they are not isnt educating them in any way.

Also i see you thanked Iguana's post. It is at complete polar opposites of what you have been saying so you may want to re-read it.

Love2love

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Agreed, but my point was: how far do you go to try and ensure 100% safety? Is this in the best interst of the child? (admittedly, older than yours, as I said earlier).

But should a child be allowed to NOT play in the garden simple because a child somewhere got abducted from a garden?

I agree. As I said earlier, I doubt any Facebook reports on abduction are actually true. It's always a man in a white van or a man dressed as a woman! :rolleyes:

I do allow him to play in the garden, my daughter is just gone 3 and always want to be out there with him but I can't leave her alone because there's no gate in the garden (rented so I can't change this) if I do leave him alone, I can guarantee he'll be back within 3 minutes as he's bored alone!

RachaelVO

listermint wrote: »

Thats the thing he wasnt spoiled so to speak, he was molly coddled. I know the difference. He was never given the latest gadgets and shoes and clothes. Just on a a ridculously tight reign. And theres the results, hes reigned himself into still living in the house. congrats to them on that one.

Yes i will bring my kids up the same why? because life is exactly the same. The only difference is il have to program my router in the house with some obvious limits.

Abuse, Abduction all that is nothing new, Its you that is letting the media inside your head. That your issue, not the worlds fault. Its no more rampant than it ever was.

And what the hell do other cultures have to do with anything ? Black people? What ???

It'll be good to see you being a parent, it's always great listening to views on parenting from people who aren't parents. Your views on child rearing will change, you won't have a choice and it will be more than your router you'll be making changes to. And yes it will be because times have changed. So again I point out, come back to this forum when you are responsible for someone you love (but drives you bonkers in equal measure).

The headlines are scary, and saying its my fault is a fruitless arguement, when my daughter was born she was 2 months old when Madeleine McCann went missing. Scared the **** outta me, it was all over the news, every channel and every headline on every paper. I was a new mother and this is what I seen.

The point about other cultures is that our kids are now mixing with other cultures which makes them more worldly in one way or another, and they are a whole lot more open to acceptance of other cultures (a good thing) but not something we had.

You're only guessing a how you will be as a parent, again I say check back here when you are, as that's the only way you'll know what you'll be like.

moochers

Growing up, my dear mum was very over protective. For example, on the beach she wouldn't let us in the sea past our knees, we were not allowed on sleep overs and had to be home from playing much earlier than the other kids. She did encourage us to play outside cos we were only allowed one hour of tv a day. I was quite good and respected the boundaries but my bro as a teenager was a holy terror. I swore, with my two, I would not wrap them up in cotton wool. The last day, my two were telling my mum that they are allowed to dive off the diving board at the beach, my son will also be getting the bus himself to soccer practice in September. My mother is not happy, she rang my sister to tell her to have a word with me as she knows Ill go mad if she interferes. Kids, of course need boundaries but they need freedom and responsibility too.

Three years ago, for example, my two were supposed to be picked up by another Mum from school for a playdate. I got a phonecall at work from the lollypop lady to tell me boys were not picked up. The other Mum forgot. I went asap to the school in a total panic, they were fine, they went over to the lollypop lady, told her the situation and gave her my mobile no. At that age, I would have sat there on my own, not knowing what to do.

obliviousgrudge

Daily Mail

Love2love

listermint wrote: »

Children are certainly able to ascertain risk, your perception that they are not isnt educating them in any way.

Also i see you thanked Iguana's post. It is at complete polar opposites of what you have been saying so you may want to re-read it.

Actually, my point has been that other people assessing the danger to my child or anyone else when they don't see the risks involved directly is pointless. I actually agree that kids need a certain amount of freedom. And I don't believe in Molly coddling either. Have you actually read my posts?
I try my best to provide my child with enough social interactions with his peers, enough education and enough challenges that he doesn't go wild when he does eventually get a bit more freedom. How can you know how much my child at 6 is able to comprehend? For instance, walking home from school and he runs across a small lane way road, now I told him countless times that he can't cross the road alone but he's so caught up in playing with his friends that he's just doesn't think about it! My cousin died at 6 when a car ran over him outside his house so I have drilled it into my son about this all the time. And I'm not using what happened to my cousin as an excuse to control my son either. As I said, I live at the beginning of the M1 in Dublin! Are you saying I'm suppose to allow him out alone when I know his attention can be distracted so easily?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

RachaelVO wrote: »

The headlines are scary, and saying its my fault is a fruitless arguement, when my daughter was born she was 2 months old when Madeleine McCann went missing. Scared the **** outta me, it was all over the news, every channel and every headline on every paper. I was a new mother and this is what I seen.

That's his point: and yet, I guarantee, you till watche ****loads of news while Madeline McCann went missing, didn;t you? It scared the bejaysus you of you? That's what it was supposed to do.

listermint

RachaelVO wrote: »

It'll be good to see you being a parent, it's always great listening to views on parenting from people who aren't parents. Your views on child rearing will change, you won't have a choice and it will be more than your router you'll be making changes to. And yes it will be because times have changed. So again I point out, come back to this forum when you are responsible for someone you love (but drives you bonkers in equal measure).

The headlines are scary, and saying its my fault is a fruitless arguement, when my daughter was born she was 2 months old when Madeleine McCann went missing. Scared the **** outta me, it was all over the news, every channel and every headline on every paper. I was a new mother and this is what I seen.

The point about other cultures is that our kids are now mixing with other cultures which makes them more worldly in one way or another, and they are a whole lot more open to acceptance of other cultures (a good thing) but not something we had.

You're only guessing a how you will be as a parent, again I say check back here when you are, as that's the only way you'll know what you'll be like.

Sorry the only thing to come out of your post again was media led hysteria. Which suffice to say ive already commented on.

Please dont patronise me with the 'your own kids' will change your attitude i know better than you nonsense. As a parent its your job to decide yourself how to bring them up. I will decide my way, because its the way i was brought up and it has shown to be excellent, the results speak for themselves.

And again what has other cultures got to do with it ? I work with 8 different nationalities in IT. They are no different to me, or the boys and girls i grew up around kicking the ball on the green with. 4 of which i am still friends with and we do for pints regularly.


They only people i feel sorry for this is kids, and bad parenting decisions based entirely on the parents consumption of tabloid media mess. Its a complete farce that people eat this diatribe up and let it change their outlook and direction of their lives.

Slaves to the media is apt i suppose.

Ruudi_Mentari

We were the barbed wire kids

And getting smashed was all we did

Drinking from the tins in the local park.

One was yours, and 5 were mine

We were langered all the time

Now we only just collect our dole.......

RachaelVO

listermint wrote: »

Sorry the only thing to come out of your post again was media led hysteria. Which suffice to say ive already commented on.

Please dont patronise me with the 'your own kids' will change your attitude i know better than you nonsense. As a parent its your job to decide yourself how to bring them up. I will decide my way, because its the way i was brought up and it has shown to be excellent, the results speak for themselves.

And again what has other cultures got to do with it ? I work with 8 different nationalities in IT. They are no different to me, or the boys and girls i grew up around kicking the ball on the green with. 4 of which i am still friends with and we do for pints regularly.


They only people i feel sorry for this is kids, and bad parenting decisions based entirely on the parents consumption of tabloid media mess. Its a complete farce that people eat this diatribe up and let it change their outlook and direction of their lives.

Slaves to the media is apt i suppose.

Just because you don't like the 'you're not a parent' remark doesn't make it any less accurate. It's very simple when you are one, then you'll know, how can you know if you're not?

As for the different cultures, you clearly don't get it, so I won't patronise you with another response on :rolleyes:

listermint

RachaelVO wrote: »

Just because you don't like the 'you're not a parent' remark doesn't make it any less accurate. It's very simple when you are one, then you'll know, how can you know if you're not?

As for the different cultures, you clearly don't get it, so I won't patronise you with another response on :rolleyes:

No response on anything which was directly aimed at you about media then?

Nothing ?


Yes didnt think so, youve one upped me with a short visit to the coombe. Alas i must bow out of this one due to my lack of ownership.

RachaelVO

listermint wrote: »

No response on anything which was directly aimed at you about media then?

Nothing ?


Yes didnt think so, youve one upped me with a short visit to the coombe. Alas i must bow out of this one due to my lack of ownership.

No bow out because of your complete lack of experience and your clear lack of ability to see where experience competes with how you will be as a parent.

And no it wasn't a visit to the coombe, but that's quiet the comeback, well done

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

RachaelVO wrote: »

No bow out because of your complete lack of experience and your clear lack of ability to see where experience competes with how you will be as a parent.

And no it wasn't a visit to the coombe, but that's quiet the comeback, well done

So what are you saying here in realtion to the media: too much media has had no influence on you? Or the media only influences people who are parents?

listermint

RachaelVO wrote: »

No bow out because of your complete lack of experience and your clear lack of ability to see where experience competes with how you will be as a parent.

And no it wasn't a visit to the coombe, but that's quiet the comeback, well done

So still no response to the obvious fact that you are parenting through what happens in the daily mail, or facebook or twitter. How these homages to hysteria are impacting your childs social conditioning because you are having some trouble dissecting it from the reality of the locality you live in.

Ah sure feel free to hang your coat hook on the 'you dont have kids' hanger if it helps you. Im happy that i can bring a more balanced outlook to my parenting, as i was grounded in it through my upbringing.

OldNotWIse

RachaelVO wrote: »

Point being it's WAY different being an Aunt or Uncle to being a parent, I know as I was an Aunt long before I was a mother, so in as much as you can have your theories (cos that's all they are) you have no experience of being responsible or having guardianship of a child, ensuring they know right from wrong, feeding, clothing, educating or housing them.

When you do have the honour of being a parent, and it is an honour, cos when you see your child for the first time, all you want to do is to cherish them, if you're lucky enough to have that experience, re-read this thread and see how well you current theories will suit how you feel then.

RachaelVO wrote: »

There is a difference between spoiling and protecting your kids, your cousin is clearly a spoilt brat.

You do have one thing VERY wrong, you won't bring your kids up like your parents brought you up. Parents now have many more influences (good and bad) to combat/use. For example standards and views towards sexual identity have changed, as it has for a whole lot of social issues. Another example is how there have been migrant populations in Ireland, certainly wasn't the case when I was a child, so the first time a saw a black man was in London and I was truly fascinated. So social issues alone will prevent that. What's weirder is, and I know there was always Paedophiles around when we were kids, but when you have kids you see the headlines a whole lot clearer and it's frightening. You just can't disregard that by adding yes or no to the end of a sentence.

Mine are spoiled by their grandparents, and that's fine that's a grandparents job, my job is to ensure that they don't take it for granted that they think they can get what they want and when they want. They're spoilt because their grandparents have more money and less grandchildren than mine had.

RachaelVO wrote: »

It'll be good to see you being a parent, it's always great listening to views on parenting from people who aren't parents. Your views on child rearing will change, you won't have a choice and it will be more than your router you'll be making changes to. And yes it will be because times have changed. So again I point out, come back to this forum when you are responsible for someone you love (but drives you bonkers in equal measure).

The headlines are scary, and saying its my fault is a fruitless arguement, when my daughter was born she was 2 months old when Madeleine McCann went missing. Scared the **** outta me, it was all over the news, every channel and every headline on every paper. I was a new mother and this is what I seen.

The point about other cultures is that our kids are now mixing with other cultures which makes them more worldly in one way or another, and they are a whole lot more open to acceptance of other cultures (a good thing) but not something we had.

You're only guessing a how you will be as a parent, again I say check back here when you are, as that's the only way you'll know what you'll be like.

RachaelVO wrote: »

Just because you don't like the 'you're not a parent' remark doesn't make it any less accurate. It's very simple when you are one, then you'll know, how can you know if you're not?

As for the different cultures, you clearly don't get it, so I won't patronise you with another response on :rolleyes:

Hilarious to read the bolded parts and then see you finish up with whats in red.

I really think you are possibly one of the most condescending, smug posters I have ever come across on Boards. Having a child does not make your opinion more worthy than those of others and does not make you the authority on anything, nor does it give you some sort of special clairvoyant power that enables you to dictate to others that they will change their views once they pro-create. Other posters are entitled to their views, regardless of their parental status.

RachaelVO

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

So what are you saying here in realtion to the media: too much media has had no influence on you? Or the media only influences people who are parents?

Scared the **** outta me. No question, and even now when I think about it I get a knot in my stomach.

But even as a mother (not a parent), I see stuff everywhere that makes me want to pull them back to stand beside me, I don't do it, but I want to. My husband thinks I'm mad. I seen a woman pushing a buggy up a street last week and her child (about 5) was trailing a good bit behind her. It's a busy street and her mother wasn't paying a blind bit of notice to her.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

RachaelVO wrote: »

Scared the **** outta me. No question, and even now when I think about it I get a knot in my stomach.

But even as a mother (not a parent), I see stuff everywhere that makes me want to pull them back to stand beside me, I don't do it, but I want to. My husband thinks I'm mad. I seen a woman pushing a buggy up a street last week and her child (about 5) was trailing a good bit behind her. It's a busy street and her mother wasn't paying a blind bit of notice to her.

Sounds like you'd be a far happier parent if you switched off Sky News for a few hours and your kids would certainly benefit.

I noticed you posted another OTT comment in different thread, that had to be edited: kids gone missing and the first thing you do id link to a story of an abduction in Holland. What are you trying to do here? Promote fear as well as absorb it?

RachaelVO

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Hilarious to read the bolded parts and then see you finish up with whats in red.

I really think you are possibly one of the most condescending, smug posters I have ever come across on Boards. Having a child does not make your opinion more worthy than those of others and does not make you the authority on anything, nor does it give you some sort of special clairvoyant power that enables you to dictate to others that they will change their views once they pro-create. Other posters are entitled to their views, regardless of their parental status.

Hmmmm, experience will always tell out, but it's good to know that non parents have the right to tell parents who worry about their kids that they read the Daily Mail and are raising them by tabloid media.

So the tuts and sighs you hear when your out when your child cries in the supermarket are usually from people who have no kids. So again everything changes when you're a parent and that's not condecension that's a fact.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

RachaelVO wrote: »

Hmmmm, experience will always tell out, but it's good to know that non parents have the right to tell parents who worry about their kids that they read the Daily Mail and are raising them by tabloid media.

So the tuts and sighs you hear when your out when your child cries in the supermarket are usually from people who have no kids. So again everything changes when you're a parent and that's not condecension that's a fact.

Then how come I know loads of parents who are happily raising kids without being terrorised as you are?

RachaelVO

listermint wrote: »

So still no response to the obvious fact that you are parenting through what happens in the daily mail, or facebook or twitter. How these homages to hysteria are impacting your childs social conditioning because you are having some trouble dissecting it from the reality of the locality you live in.

Ah sure feel free to hang your coat hook on the 'you dont have kids' hanger if it helps you. Im happy that i can bring a more balanced outlook to my parenting, as i was grounded in it through my upbringing.

I don't read the mail, I don't live in an english speaking country, so thankfully it's not available except online and I choose not to read it (I didn't click the link in the OP)

So you know how to be a parent? Great, you should write a manual for those of us who don't know what you know, maybe ask your Mam for some tip!

RachaelVO

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Then how come I know loads of parents who are happily raising kids without being terrorised as you are?

You telling me they don't worry? Yeah they do, and about things you'd never have thought of before you had kids.

But my kids are well behaved, well mannered, happy and healthy so I can't be doing it all wrong

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

RachaelVO wrote: »

You telling me they don't worry? Yeah they do, and about things you'd never have thought of before you had kids.

But my kids are well behaved, well mannered, happy and healthy so I can't be doing it all wrong

They probabl do, but that's not what I argued. I argued that they are parents, but still rational. I argued that becoming a parent does not mean you have a right to be terrorised and lose all sense of risk-assessment. Now, any chance of you coming down from the you're-not-a-parent moral highground and answerign some of the points put to you? Starting with the accusatino that you are speading fear as much as absorbing it?

PS - out of interest, where do you live? Not because I'm coming after your kids, but because you saif you lived in a non0-english speaking country.

OldNotWIse

RachaelVO wrote: »

Hmmmm, experience will always tell out, but it's good to know that non parents have the right to tell parents who worry about their kids that they read the Daily Mail and are raising them by tabloid media.

So the tuts and sighs you hear when your out when your child cries in the supermarket are usually from people who have no kids. So again everything changes when you're a parent and that's not condecension that's a fact.

For you maybe.

ps I never accused you of reading tabloids and I dont tut when I see/hear children in the supermarket though I realise that may not fit in with your cosy generalisation of us unreasonable, indecisive barren folk.

RachaelVO

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

None of that is what I argued. Any chance of you coming down from the you're-not-a-parent moral highground and answerign some of the points put to you? Starting with the accusatino that you are speading fear as much as absorbing it?

That was a before I had kids to now I have kids answer, no high ground involved.

Not spreading fear at all, but you do see things differently. When you see a toddler toddling around you move things out of their way so they don't fall over them, as it's hard for them to step over them without falling. Never seen that when I wasn't a parent, why would I? Now I do, so it's not a moral highground, it's how it is

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

RachaelVO wrote: »

That was a before I had kids to now I have kids answer, no high ground involved.

Not spreading fear at all, but you do see things differently. When you see a toddler toddling around you move things out of their way so they don't fall over them, as it's hard for them to step over them without falling. Never seen that when I wasn't a parent, why would I? Now I do, so it's not a moral highground, it's how it is

It is moral highground when you point and say "you're not a parent'.

Perhaps not being a parent means we're not compromised and we have a much more rationnal base on which to judge risk and YOU should be listing to US?

Ever thnk about that?

OldNotWIse

RachaelVO wrote: »

That was a before I had kids to now I have kids answer, no high ground involved.

Not spreading fear at all, but you do see things differently. When you see a toddler toddling around you move things out of their way so they don't fall over them, as it's hard for them to step over them without falling. Never seen that when I wasn't a parent, why would I? Now I do, so it's not a moral highground, it's how it is

Funny, I thought common sense, as opposed to becoming a parent, would tell us to do something like that?

My friend told me that you can't let your children eat weed-killer...something she just learned after she gave birth to my godson. I'm glad she was able to pass this vital information on to me

RachaelVO

OldNotWIse wrote: »

For you maybe.

LOL LOL LOL LOL

Only for me, that's is side splittingly funny... I'm the only person who changed when I became a parent, absolutely hilarious, god I needed that laugh, thanks

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

RachaelVO

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Funny, I thought common sense, as opposed to becoming a parent, would tell us to do something like that?

Ask social services how much common sense they see, not too common, but then as the saying goes, happy is the parent who has no kids.

No I'm unsubscribing from this thread, as I have to take 4 hours to unwrap the bubble wrap from my kids so I can feed and wash them

OldNotWIse

RachaelVO wrote: »

LOL LOL LOL LOL

Only for me, that's is side splittingly funny... I'm the only person who changed when I became a parent, absolutely hilarious, god I needed that laugh, thanks

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Clearly, parenthood also makes one far more easily amused.

listermint

RachaelVO wrote: »

Ask social services how much common sense they see, not too common, but then as the saying goes, happy is the parent who has no kids.

No I'm unsubscribing from this thread, as I have to take 4 hours to unwrap the bubble wrap from my kids so I can feed and wash them

Yes, because it visited social services all of the time.. LOL. Common sense means being able to dissect the nonsense from reality. Does that make it clear for you?

Love2love

You know, this thread is getting ridiculous! She's not saying that being a parent makes you afraid to let your child leave the house. She saying that listening to the news can be terrifying and sometimes you'll make decisions based on that.

Making out that she unintelligent for believe the hype does nothing for your point either.

Each of you are assuming the other is opposing sides of the fence instead of a middle ground. As I said again, it's about striking a balance

OldNotWIse

Love2love wrote: »

You know, this thread is getting ridiculous! She's not saying that being a parent makes you afraid to let your child leave the house. She saying that listening to the news can be terrifying and sometimes you'll make decisions based on that.

Making out that she unintelligent for believe the hype does nothing for your point either.

Each of you are assuming the other is opposing sides of the fence instead of a middle ground. As I said again, it's about striking a balance

I think you'll find she is sh1tting on the opinions of anyone who doesn't have kids. In fact "you dont have kids therefore you wouldnt understand" seems to be her response to everything.

egan2020

I'm a parent to two girls - aged 11 and 2. Living in rural area so traffic isn't really much of a problem. Just moved from a small housing estate where a couple of classmates of my 11 year old also lived. Most of the kids spent the day outside and I'll be completely honest I rarely wondered where she was even if I hadn't seen her for a couple of hours. The estate was beside the entrance to a wood and the kids spent most of the day building a "fort". If she wasn't there, she was usually playing in one of the green areas or inside one of the other kids houses or her and her friends would be in our house. Kids would come home when they were called or usually when they were hungry or when they'd had an argument.

We've recently moved to a house on its own site. I'm about a mile away from my mother's house and my daughter is allowed to cycle there alone when she wants. She has to cross a main road and she knows that she has to walk with the bike when crossing and make sure that no cars are coming from either side - basic road safety.

We're just over a mile from the school now and once the weather is fine she will be allowed to cycle home. Only rule is that if she hears a car approaching from behind or sees one coming in front of her she must get off her bike and walk. This rule is there so she doesn't end up doing a speed wobble in front of the oncoming car.

The two year old plays outside and she's always in view or else the 11 year old is playing with her.

Love2love

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I think you'll find she is sh1tting on the opinions of anyone who doesn't have kids. In fact "you dont have kids therefore you wouldnt understand" seems to be her response to everything.

But that's her opinion also

OldNotWIse

Love2love wrote: »

But that's her opinion also

That only people who have procreated know anything about child welfare?

That everybody drastically changes their views when they procreate?

Holding something as an opinion does not make it true.

iguana

RachaelVO wrote: »

The headlines are scary, and saying its my fault is a fruitless arguement, when my daughter was born she was 2 months old when Madeleine McCann went missing. Scared the **** outta me, it was all over the news, every channel and every headline on every paper. I was a new mother and this is what I seen.

April Jones was abducted and murdered when I was 8 months pregnant and living 60 miles from Machynlleth and had even driven through there a few weeks before. There were police checkpoints around the city, my parents' car was searched at the ferryport on their way home from visiting me and as well as being national/international news, all of the local media was covered with news and speculation. There was no escaping from it and between my hormones and normal human empathy I was devastated to learn she was dead and cried for days. A short time later a sick fúcker drove into 13 people on purpose, seemingly specifically targeting families at a shopping centre I'd been at the day after Jones went missing. Again there was no avoiding the news. And like with Jones my proximity to the incident and recently actually being where it was left me feeling frightened and vulnerable.

But y'know what I did? I gave myself a metaphorical kick up the backside and copped on. Incidents like these are rare and living my life with them on the fore of my mind and allowing them to influence how I parent and the view of the world I raise my son to have would be, imo, appalling parenting. And seeing how so many parents fret about abductions while providing the minimum legal standard of car safety instead of the maximum standard available, despite car crashes being a much more common risk to child safety, makes me feel that their fretting is the result of fearmongering and irrationality rather than me having a laissez faire attitude to my son's safety.

Usually the "kids these days" stuff grates on my but during the good weather I went to a mate's a few times and never saw any kids playing on the greens near his house. There were goalposts for football/gaa and a few benches nearby but no-one using them.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Love2love wrote: »

You know, this thread is getting ridiculous! She's not saying that being a parent makes you afraid to let your child leave the house. She saying that listening to the news can be terrifying and sometimes you'll make decisions based on that.

Yes, but she was also listing to it a lot and fuellign her own irrational fears. Basing your parental decisions on prolonged exposure to media and then decryign everyone else who isn;t a parent was what undermined her position: it was as if she was saying that being paranoid and irrational was all aprt of being a parent, despite many parents not reacting like that.

Making out that she unintelligent for believe the hype does nothing for your point either.

Each of you are assuming the other is opposing sides of the fence instead of a middle ground. As I said again, it's about striking a balance

It is, but if you want to strike a balance the last thing you should be doing isd "believing the hype" - regardles of whether is makes you inteeligent or not.

Have a look at iguana's post above and then compar it to some of those by rachel and then tell me who comes across as the most balanced. And bear in mind, they're both parents.

nocoverart

And in a generations time people will reminisce about the "cotton wool kids" and how it use to be.

We were the Cotton Wool kids
And Cotton Wool was all we did
And playing those games on our huge HDTV
I was yours and you were mine
But that was once upon a time
Now we never seem to Cotton Wool anymore

Love2love

I agree with iguana's post. In fact, as pointed out, I liked her other post

All I'm trying to say is that there is a big difference between cotton wool kids and not allowing a child of 6 out alone. My brother would be one example of a cotton wool dad. What is crazy was how he use to be before he had a child, he couldn't wait to do all the things we would do on family outings. But he's just one, not everyone is going to have a huge personality change from having a child. He's judges me for letting my 3 year old go down the big slide in the playground :eek::eek:

OldNotWIse

nocoverart wrote: »

And in a generations time people will reminisce about the "cotton wool kids" and how it use to be.

We were the Cotton Wool kids
And Cotton Wool was all we did
And playing those games on our huge HDTV
I was yours and you were mine
But that was once upon a time
Now we never seem to Cotton Wool anymore

Thanks. Took ten years to get that fuucking song out of my head so just for you..........













































Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....banana phone!