One night stands??

hoodwinked

animum wrote: »

No-one is bad in bed, they are just bad at taking direction, surely?

I must be a very lucky lady then! or else I give dam good instructions

as someone who's been there tried that some people are terrible in bed,


you have ones who just don't want to learn,

the selfish ones who won't do anything outside of their enjoyment

the ones who just can't help be terrible for a reason they have no control over and thus can't be fixed

personal issues...etc


makes me glad i found my husband, he's a one in a million guy it seems from the posts on here.

floggg

animum wrote: »

But if the woman in the situation, is purely being targeted because she is 'known', surely the balance of power is thrown, and this makes it morally wrong?
Yes, she enjoys sex, wants and needs sex, but is the respect lost by the person perusing her, as she is basically being used? There may be no sexual attraction there at all, she could be viewed as an object to satisfy a need?

This is just so much sexist bull ****.

Why is it that a woman has to be used in sex. Yes, it happens that asshole men lead them on but did you ever think there are plenty of occasions were a woman a woman might want to have it?

If a woman gets what she wants out of sex then she can't be used, no matter what other people might think.

And this notion to people will lose "respect" for her - if your respect for a woman is tied to her sex life, then you clearly don't respect women.

If you sum up their entire being based on where there vagina has been, then you don't really see them as much more than a walking talking baby producing vagina.

Nialler15

Yeah I agree. But sometimes needs must dont you think?

I have to say i gave up on ONS's a long time ago and used internet dating and other sites as a means to scratch that itch. You can chat online with someone and get to know someone a lot easier than a drunken conversation whilst shouting over music etc.

Yes i know its not for everyone but then again either is meeting someone in a pub/club.

Obviously you still need to meet face to face somewhere to see if you have that spark too but its a good avenue.

floggg

animum wrote: »

No-one is bad in bed, they are just bad at taking direction, surely?

I must be a very lucky lady then! or else I give dam good instructions

It's about a persons attitude to sex.

If their focus is on making sure their partner gets off, then even if they don't get it right the first few times, they'll get there eventually with the right direction.

If their focus is on getting themselves off, then no matter how much direction you give they won't ever get there because they'll be too busy worrying about themselves.

floggg

animum wrote: »

Totally agree, it makes the whole experience better.

Probably why I don't understand why people need so many one-night stands, you are not going to get good sex every time, and alot of the time, you wont, too drunk...etc..

Who said anything about "needing" a ONS?

And in my experience they sex can be amazing. Obviously it depends on the partner but there's a more unbridled, balls to the wall type of passion and an element of surprise that you can't necessarily replicate where you are familiar with your partner.

krudler

fibix wrote: »

You have to admit though - it happens once in a blue moon.

The ex after we were seeing each other well over a month before we did it, she wanted to wait a bit, I liked her so I did, had no problem with it. I've never understood some guys attitudes towards women and sex tbh, if they give it up too easy they're sluts, if they ask you to wait then they lose interest. Can't win it seems. And why is it just women who get labelled as easy on one nighters? You always see the one guy in a bar who tries it on with a rake of women on a night out until he hits paydirt, is he not as damaged as women who do the same?

Honey-ec

krudler wrote: »

And why is it just women who get labelled as easy on one nighters? You always see the one guy in a bar who tries it on with a rake of women on a night out until he hits paydirt, is he not as damaged as women who do the same?

Don't be so ridiculous. Men with high sex drives are perfectly normal. Women with them are clearly sluts.

animum

floggg wrote: »

This is just so much sexist bull ****.

Why is it that a woman has to be used in sex. Yes, it happens that asshole men lead them on but did you ever think there are plenty of occasions were a woman a woman might want to have it?

If a woman gets what she wants out of sex then she can't be used, no matter what other people might think.

And this notion to people will lose "respect" for her - if your respect for a woman is tied to her sex life, then you clearly don't respect women.

If you sum up their entire being based on where there vagina has been, then you don't really see them as much more than a walking talking baby producing vagina.

My comment was 'if', I am fully aware that women use men, and enjoy sex just as much as men. But there are cases, where the man views her as an object to replace his hand and cares nothing for her needs sexually. Then this to me is not a one-night stand as what it is meant to be, it is ONE side using the other. And can happen with both sexes.

My friend 'uses' her work colleague all the time, he fancies her to a great degree, and she has no respect for him whatsoever and booty calls him, at the weekends.
I didnt intend to come across as sexist, at all.

krudler

Honey-ec wrote: »

You can definitely "coach" people, an initial bad outing doesn't automatically mean the sex is forever doomed to be shite. But unfortunately, some people are just crap in bed, and no amount of telling them how you like it is going to make any difference. And it is usually very easy to tell which camp the person falls into the first time you sleep with them.

There's nothing worse than someone who just doesn't want to put in any effort "I'll just lie here you do all the work" ehhh, no. Great sex doesn't always start that way and people work different ways so that's not always possible on a ONS, but there's nothing better than hitting that spot with someone where you work well together in bed

animum

krudler wrote: »

There's nothing worse than someone who just doesn't want to put in any effort "I'll just lie here you do all the work" ehhh, no. Great sex doesn't always start that way and people work different ways so that's not always possible on a ONS, but there's nothing better than hitting that spot with someone where you work well together in bed

Nothing worse than a 'star fish'!!

Maybe that's where I bring respect into things.. if you respect the other person and their sexual needs on a one night stand, then you at least participate.

If you 'use' a person as a replacement of your hand, then you don't respect them, they can be seen as 'easy', unfortunately this can be the case sometimes.

Nialler15

Star fish are also known as a sack of spuds. Depends where you come from

animum

Nialler15 wrote: »

Star fish are also known as a sack of spuds. Depends where you come from

Spuds are only the lumpy ones

Nialler15

Lumps? You should get them looked at lol

floggg

animum wrote: »

Nothing worse than a 'star fish'!!

Maybe that's where I bring respect into things.. if you respect the other person and their sexual needs on a one night stand, then you at least participate.

If you 'use' a person as a replacement of your hand, then you don't respect them, they can be seen as 'easy', unfortunately this can be the case sometimes.

People need to stop using the term "easy" to describe a woman.

A woman doesn't need to be "hard" to sleep with. She can decide to "put out" after 5 minutes or 5 years.

Either way it's her choice and either is equally as legitimate if its what she wants.

The idea of a woman being " easy" is a throw back to the golden age of a woman needing to protect her virtue (ie virginity, which was apparently the only virtue a woman had).

It kind of carries the idea that its up to a woman to "behave" herself in order to get respect from men, rather than men just respecting women on their own merits.

It also suggests that it's fine for men to give into their base instincts but its up to a woman to resist.

If you take that logic to the extreme you get the disgusting situation in some Islamic countries where a woman is blamed for allowing herself to be raped, rather than the men being held solely and fully responsible for their actions.

April O Neill

Honey-ec wrote: »

And it is usually very easy to tell which camp the person falls into the first time you sleep with them.

I don't think this is true, especially if they're used to their last sexual partner liking things very different to you, or drink being on board, or just being a bit wrecked (which some people might fob off as an excuse but I never have really, being very tired definitely affects things and absolutely anyone can have a tiring week, it could just be bad timing).

fififairy

Well, here's one for ye....
I have slept with one man for the past 13 years...he's the ONLY man I've slept with.....and now we are separated.
The thought of actually getting naked, let alone doing the deed with someone new scares the life outta me!!!

flutered

fififairy wrote: »

Well, here's one for ye....
I have slept with one man for the past 13 years...he's the ONLY man I've slept with.....and now we are separated.
The thought of actually getting naked, let alone doing the deed with someone new scares the life outta me!!!

i thought for a mo you were going to say it scares the pants offa you.

fififairy

flutered wrote: »

i thought for a mo you were going to say it scares the pants offa you.

I wouldn't have a problem then!!!!!