Wedding on a Budget - Help!

clumsyklutz

Hi All,

The fiance and I have been engaged for over a year and we believe it's high time we made some concrete plans for this wedding of ours!

The problem is both of us would only have a combined income of around 35-37,000 a year and obviously, we would be paying for it ourselves! With all the usuals coming out - rent, groceries etc, there isn't an awful lot left for saving as you can imagine!

So, I was just wondering if anyone may have planned a wedding on a tight budget or knows of some places that could accomodate weekly/monthly payments etc I would be extremely grateful.

Just a heads up, we're located in Dublin, but would be open to somewhere nearby or if anyone has planned a wedding abroad and found it cheaper I'd love to hear.

lazygal

The first thing you should bear in mind is that the cost of a marriage in Ireland is 200 euro. You pay this no matter who marries you or where you get married. If you want to marry in a registry office that's what it will cost for the ceremony.


If you want a party, think about how many you're asking. Don't book anything until you know how many you'll need to cater for, because most of your money will go on a reception of some sort, if you want the party. I'd recommend looking outside the box if possible. Try local restaurants/pubs and see what they can offer. Something like an evening buffet wouldn't cost the earth. If you want the standard Irish hotel wedding, you're looking at anywhere from 35-95 a head depending on food, location, drinks and extras. Don't spend a fortune on clothing, try to get a dress second hand and don't have a large bridal party because that bumps up the cost. If you're not into flowers, cake or frills like that, leave them out.

A church wedding can really add to the costs, between premarriage courses, donations, paying for sacristans, church decor and other sundries. We never considered a church wedding but based on our local church I know others have used we saved at least a grand not doing the church thing.

I wouldn't skimp on food, drink or entertainment. Personally, we spent money (within budget) on photography and a DVD, and it was worth it. I know people recommend asking a talented family member or friend or student looking for experience to do photos/dvd but I wouldn't go down that road, I've seen people really stung and not have any nice photos.

Sam Kade

Is 35-37k net income or gross? If it is net I don't see how a couple could save a decent amount of it over 2 years.

homemadecider

Would you consider getting married in the registry office and then just having a big house party for all your friends and family? You could do that very cheaply.

kaki

We earn more or less the same as you (net) but salary aside - in my personal opinion I think that it's senseless to waste money on a wedding, and much more important to invest money in a marriage, house, savings etc... big opulent celebrations are fine for many and certainly the norm in Ireland, as you'll probably find in Ireland when you go about contacting suppliers who has fixed packages "to make a special bride feel extra-special on this most special of days" my advice would be to work out what you can reasonably put aside and plan your day around that, rather than trying to make your budget fit the average Irish wedding day or putting yourselves in debt, which must be a rubbish start to married life (again, IMO).

I'm getting married this September in the Cork Civil Registration office, as previous poster a registry office ceremony costs €200, you can pay a little more to have the registrant travel to a venue if you prefer.

They only work Monday-Friday, what we did was book a Friday and are having a wedding lunch with the ceremony guests (room capacity = 40), followed by a shindig with wine and finger food in the evening for friends, more distant relatives, workmates; couldn't be happier with the layout of the day thusfar.

There's lots of small ways to save money along the way - I'm doing my own flowers, sourcing them from a wholesaler - a relative is making our cake in exchange for a bit of web design on my part - we designed the invitations ourselves and printed them with Vistaprint.

Have you thought about what kind of a day you want, who you want to share the day with/be involved, what tone etc?

Moonbeam

It depends...
What do you want of your day?

A-Bit-Dodge

You can cut costs everywhere and still have your dream wedding, you just have to be willing to put in the time planning, shopping around, DIYing etc..

I would agree with above poster though-a church ceremony brings about massive massive cost. Try to avoid it, maybe do the ceremony and reception in the same hotel-you can get great deals this way. Also, try and steer clear of weekend days. Mondays and Thursdays are proving more and more popular these days!

D3PO

costs €200 to get married OP. Anything else are bells and whistles, so its up to you what and how much you want to spend on what things.

- Dress you can buy white dresses for less than 100 quid in insert high street shop. Doesn't have to be a wedding dress

- Suits you can wear one you own who says you have to rent one

- Cake don't have one

- Photos have somebody take them for you on their camera

- Flowers you don't need them but if you want why not use something cheaper like Gerberas or the likes that still look really nice

- car get a parent or friend to drive you

- numbers keep them as low as you want , just immediate family or maybe just immediate family and very close friends

- venue doesn't have to be a hotel, your local GAA hall could be used or anything in between

etc etc etc

I know some of these suggestions are very unglam and basic but that's the point you can do things as lavishly or as basic as you want. Cut your cloth to suit your measure.

Ms2011

All of the above.

Also if you have your ceremony & reception in the same place there are no travel expenses.

Adverts sell some stunning dresses for a song that have only been worn for a few hours or last years stock.

Have just a band or DJ instead of both.

Places where I've spent the money were a good photographer & quality food, these would be important to me.

clumsyklutz

A church wedding can really add to the costs, between premarriage courses, donations, paying for sacristans, church decor and other sundries. We never considered a church wedding but based on our local church I know others have used we saved at least a grand not doing the church thing.

I never considered a church wedding, really just not for me! Though the mother in law to be wasn't too happy about it! I told her if she wanted to pay then that was fine by me - That shut her up!

Is 35-37k net income or gross? If it is net I don't see how a couple could save a decent amount of it over 2 years.

That's gross, and to be honest a guess based on what the fiance is earning this year - odd hours in Tesco - wages go up and down! So it is hard to try save a set amount when you don't know what you'll be getting from week to week! He has suggested moving in with his parents while we save - but I said I'd rather just elope! I need my own space!

There's lots of small ways to save money along the way - I'm doing my own flowers, sourcing them from a wholesaler - a relative is making our cake in exchange for a bit of web design on my part - we designed the invitations ourselves and printed them with Vistaprint.

@kaki that sounds ideal as to what I want - just not what he wants! He wants a big wedding with lots of guests!

I have arranged with a friend who's done several beauty courses to do hair, make up and nails for me and bridesmaids on the day.

I have also asked my mother who's very into flowers/ flower arranging to do flowers - she said no problem!

She also knows a lady next door who is cake baker (she lives in the countryside -my mother knows bloody everyone!) who said she'd be more than happy to do cake at cost - which is great!

It's the bloody venue that's setting me back - everyone has their opinions but I can't afford any of them! I wanted a nice simple summer wedding beside the sea - (parents have a mobile in Dublin during the summer - very spacious areas beside it - would be an ideal spot to put up one of those fancy marquees!).

What do you all think? Would it be a good idea or ideal on a very tight budget?

I just want people to celebrate with us - I don't care where - but I think it's ludacris to go into debt for your wedding!

Sam Kade

clumsyklutz wrote: »

! He wants a big wedding with lots of guests!

It's usually the other way round

pwurple

Marquees are more expensive than hotels in my experience.

You have to fit them out, light them, hire them, staff them, decorate them, cater them.

It's the most expensive way to do a wedding.

Using a venue that is already built is the way to go. And keep your numbers small.

The Bishop Basher

We got married for €3500.

Church wedding where we only invited family. A meal afterwards in a local restaurant, again only family.

We booked out a pub that night and had a huge session for all our friends and family with finger food and karaoke which I'm not usually a fan of but it really worked out brilliantly.

A lot of people told us afterwards that they enjoyed being at a wedding without all the usual formalities. Everyone let the hair down and had a great night.

If we were doing it again, neither of us would change a thing.

I know this isn't for everyone but we were never going to waste tens of thousands on one day when we could put the money to far better use.

At the end of the day, do what suits you, but don't be afraid to dispense with much of the ****e that goes along with the usual wedding. Most people won't miss it and as far as I'm concerned, the more relaxed everyone is on the day, the better time they'll have.

Best of luck with it all !!

homemadecider

Marquee wedding would be the most expensive option by miles. I think your fiance needs to be more realistic about what you can afford.

Electric Sheep

Have a casual beach party wedding. Your friends will be eternally grateful in years to come that there will be no photos of them wearing cringe inducing facinators that they thought were the bomb at the time.

jlm29

I'm not taking the p1ss, but have ye considered looking into going onto dont tell the bride? If ye wouldn't mind cameras etc, it might be an option!!
Otherwise, it seems like your oh needs a reality check... Even if ye just have immediate family, and a party in the evening, it's hard to see how it will cost less than 5 or 6 k- and that's being very conservative!

Sam Kade

Swanner wrote: »

A lot of people told us afterwards that they enjoyed being at a wedding without all the usual formalities. Everyone let the hair down and had a great night.

That's exactly right. People get bored of the same routine at
weddings after going to so many of them over the years.

pooch90

Station House Hotel, 20 mins from Dublin, have great all inclusive packages (cars, band, flowers,photographer etc), lovely grounds for a ceremony.
Go for off peak months/days and it'll cut cost dramatically.www.stationhousehotel.ie/

They also have sister hotel in Donabate that offer the same packages. www.watersidehousehotel.ie

January

Would love to know how they get around the three month rule thing for Don't Tell The Bride here...

niallam

pooch90 wrote: »

Station House Hotel, 20 mins from Dublin, have great all inclusive packages (cars, band, flowers,photographer etc), lovely grounds for a ceremony.
Go for off peak months/days and it'll cut cost dramatically.www.stationhousehotel.ie/

They also have sister hotel in Donabate that offer the same packages. www.watersidehousehotel.ie

And what are they like to work for???


We had a marquee wedding, 150 guests, and 8 bed house in the middle of nowhere, 2 day party, band, chipper van for food at 11pm, top band, full bar with all drinks €2 all night and free drink for the Saturday session, photo wall, candy cart etc etc

From engagement ring to the last cent spent, honeymoon, everything, the whole think cost about €23k.
A year and half planning mostly by myself and herself.

The Bishop Basher

January wrote: »

Would love to know how they get around the three month rule thing for Don't Tell The Bride here...

You have to get permission from a judge. Straight forward enough. And you don't have to pay for the licence !!

January

But would the judge allow "we're doing it for a tv show" as a valid reason? I really thought it was only if you were diagnosed with a terminal illness or some such?

salmocab

Have a registry office wedding go for a meal and then have a party in a local enough venue like a pub function room or a sports club. Its about the people you have there with you. don't waste money on photographers,videos, flowers or cars

lazygal

January wrote: »

But would the judge allow "we're doing it for a tv show" as a valid reason? I really thought it was only if you were diagnosed with a terminal illness or some such?

Its not that difficult to get around, its something that often happens when a couple simply forgets to register intent and need an exemption, etc. You need to have registered intent before being accepted on Don't Tell the Bride though, its one of the conditions of the show.

clumsyklutz

pooch90 wrote: »

Station House Hotel, 20 mins from Dublin, have great all inclusive packages (cars, band, flowers,photographer etc), lovely grounds for a ceremony.
Go for off peak months/days and it'll cut cost dramatically.www.stationhousehotel.ie/

They also have sister hotel in Donabate that offer the same packages. www.watersidehousehotel.ie

I have actually looked into the waterside hotel in Donabate as it's where I spent most of my childhood summers, I've tried e-mailing them re a custom package but no such luck so far. Might get the OH to give them a quick buzz to arrange a meeting with them asap.

I think your fiance needs to be more realistic about what you can afford.

I've been telling him that for over a year now! He sees nothing wrong with starting a marriage in debt...that won't be me!

clumsyklutz

jlm29 wrote: »

I'm not taking the p1ss, but have ye considered looking into going onto dont tell the bride? If ye wouldn't mind cameras etc, it might be an option

Haha believe it or not I have suggested this to himself! He didn't seem too impressed though!

pooch90

clumsyklutz wrote: »

I have actually looked into the waterside hotel in Donabate as it's where I spent most of my childhood summers, I've tried e-mailing them re a custom package but no such luck so far. Might get the OH to give them a quick buzz to arrange a meeting with them asap.

I think your fiance needs to be more realistic about what you can afford.

I've been telling him that for over a year now! He sees nothing wrong with starting a marriage in debt...that won't be me!

I don't want to take on any debt either but I suspect there may be a small bit.
I think I'm going to get a Tesco credit card and even if I don't need to get into debt, I can rack up some extra Clubcard points to spend after the wedding.

I've found my OH hasn't really researched as much as I have so doesn't know what to expect price wise and why we need to budget as much as possible.

The photos from the Waterside look lovely.
The wedding coordinator in the Station House is really nice and puts you at ease and any of the staff I met there seem happy. I can imagine it's the same in Donabate.
If it's a place with lots of memories for you then that's perfect!

homemadecider

clumsyklutz wrote: »

I've been telling him that for over a year now! He sees nothing wrong with starting a marriage in debt...that won't be me!

You might want to agree on these things before you get married!

clumsyklutz

homemadecider wrote: »

You might want to agree on these things before you get married!

He will agree...eventually. He's just got deluded ideas of how far our bank account will stretch - always has done!

clumsyklutz

pooch90 wrote: »

I've found my OH hasn't really researched as much as I have so doesn't know what to expect price wise and why we need to budget as much as possible.

I really think that's a problem with a lot of hubby's to be - they don't understand what it actually takes price wise to plan a wedding, I actually remember him saying 'All I have to do is show up in a suit and be on time' - I think that sums up most men's participation in the wedding planning process!

pooch90

As a massive coincidence, the Waterside is on Four Weddings tonight (will be repeated I'm sure) and the bride's budget was 3500.