Fridy Funnies

MonkieSocks

An Indian on the reservation walks into the trading post.

The clerk says "What can I do for you chief?"

Indian says "Ugh, me need toilet paper."

The clerk says "Well, we have a few different kinds which would you like?"

Indian asks "What you got?"

"Well, we have this first brand here, it's soft, strong and absorbent. It's $2.98 for four rolls."

"Ugh, too much wampum. What else you got?"

"We have this other brand it's not as soft, but it's pretty absorbant, it costs $1.98 for four rolls."

Ugh, too much wampum, what else you got?"

"Well, we have this generic stuff, it's not a real good quality, but it's only $.98 for four rolls."

Chief says "What generic mean?"

“Well. that means it doesn't really have a name."

"Ugh, me take it. Me name toilet paper."



A couple weeks later, Chief walks into the trading post.

The clerk sees him and asks "So chief, did you name that toilet paper?"

"Ugh, me call it John Wayne toilet paper."

"Well why did you name it something like that?"


"Because it rough and tough and it don't take no s4it off injun!"

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A farmer goes in half with a friend to buy a bull so he can increase his stock.

A couple of weeks later the friend comes by to see how his investment is doing.

The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't look at the cows.

His friend suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.

The following week his friend returns to see if the vet helped.

The farmer looks delighted: "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbour’s cows!

"Wow," says his friend, "what did the vet do to that bull?"

"Just gave him some pills'" said the farmer.

"What kind of pills?" asked his friend.

"I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint."

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A very naive British sailor is in a bar in London.

He meets a wild girl, and she takes him upstairs.

She takes off her pants and her panties.

He looks between her legs, and he says, "What's that?"

She says, "It's me lower mouth."

He says, "What do you mean, 'your lower mouth?'"

She says, "Just what I said, it's me lower mouth.

It's got a moustache... It's got lips..."

He asks, "Has it got a tongue in it?"

She says, "Not yet. . ."
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Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class,

A group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest.

The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time.

Then, halfway through the lecture, he began.

"They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France."

The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door.

"Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "The next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."

coldfire1x

Good to see you back