horrible or awkward dating experiences

shane9689

go on there and share us some of your dirty dating secrets... did she puke on you? ask for you to wear a gimp suit? or just sit there adoringly and not say a word untill you awkwardly left....all stories welcome XD

ive never had anything too bad, but the worst was probably a terrible blind date that my friends sent me on, the girl thought i was into her and tried to tease me by not kissing me, i was completely relieved she didnt...

Artful_Badger

shane9689 wrote: »

ive never had anything too bad, but the worst was probably a terrible blind date that my friends sent me on, the girl thought i was into her and tried to tease me by not kissing me, i was completely relieved she didnt...

Yeah thats what happened

Tiddlypeeps

I was set up on a semi blind date before by a friend. I had apparently met the guy briefly at a party before and my friend said he though we were flirting. I had an idea of who it was but wasn't sure.

Turned out to be someone completely different that I had no recollection of ever meeting and had definitely never flirted with, he was like twice my age! Nearly murdered my friend the next time I met him. Most awkward experience ever!

I Heart Internet

Most awkward was proabably a lunchtime date (from a dating website). We just didn't click and in "real life" we probably wouldn't even have liked each other, let alone be attracted to each other. Had very little in common. To top it all she was wearing about two inches of make-up. I could tell she didn't think too highly of me either!

Nothing more dramatic than that to be honest.

The Backwards Man

I once went for a job interview on the 2/3/99. The interview was actually the 3/2/99.

BizzyC

I was in a Tapas restaurant with the OH a year or two ago sitting at a table next to what was obviously a first date for a couple of guys.

One seemed normal and was making conversation, but the other was really giddy and hyper.
It was pretty obvious that the normal guy wasn't very comfortable, but it got worse when the waiter came over.

The giddy guy kept saying really loudly "you should order the sausage, you're a sausage man" and giggling.
The other guy just looked like he wanted a hole in the ground to open up and swallow him to save him from this date.

JustAddWater

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I once went for a job interview on the 2/3/99. The interview was actually the 3/2/99.

The award for the most apt username goes to....

Mr Benevolent

Before one date the girl passed off her sister's picture as her. Needless to say there was 100kg in the difference.

kylith

I was out and met a guy. Kind of clicked so back to his place. It was only the next morning I realised that my shoes had cut into me really badly and his sheets were covered in blood from my feet. That was a quick exit.

Another time I was at a party in a friend's and met this guy who was out of his face on coke. He wouldn't leave me alone until I agreed to go out with him the next day. Don't really know why I went, but I did. He showed up still out of his tits. It was the most awkward couple of hours ever.

Nialler15

kylith wrote: »

I was out and met a guy. Kind of clicked so back to his place. It was only the next morning I realised that my shoes had cut into me really badly and his sheets were covered in blood from my feet. That was a quick exit.

Another time I was at a party in a friend's and met this guy who was out of his face on coke. He wouldn't leave me alone until I agreed to go out with him the next day. Don't really know why I went, but I did. He showed up still out of his tits. It was the most awkward couple of hours ever.

you sure it was your feet??

wazky

Met with a woman off a dating site once, the woman that turned up was my actually my wife!

Oh the hilarity that ensued.

Celly Smunt

A good while ago I brought a girl on a date.We proceeded back to my place where we got it on etc etc.

Anyway,the next morning I let get know I was going to work and to leave whenever she felt like,just close the door and lift the handle when she is leaving.At this point I also advised her that the toilet wasn't working and it wouldnt flush.

At about 2 o'clock I got a text something along the lines of "im so sorry! I left something in your house that meant to take with me.".I thought fair enough I'll drop it over to her when im finished work.

I returned home at 6 or so to an almighty stench.To my horror,there was a plastic bag full of ****e and toilet roll on the table beside the front door.

I'm guessing she closed the door before she took the bag and had a panic moment.I never saw her after,but in hindsight maybe i should've returned her belongings to her.

gitane007

Reminds me of an add i saw once..............mmmm.

mad muffin

Nialler15 wrote: »

you sure it was your feet??

Do think it was his anus?

PizzamanIRL

Celly Smunt wrote: »

A good while ago I brought a girl on a date.We proceeded back to my place where we got it on etc etc.

Anyway,the next morning I let get know I was going to work and to leave whenever she felt like,just close the door and lift the handle when she is leaving.At this point I also advised her that the toilet wasn't working and it wouldnt flush.

At about 2 o'clock I got a text something along the lines of "im so sorry! I left something in your house that meant to take with me.".I thought fair enough I'll drop it over to her when im finished work.

I returned home at 6 or so to an almighty stench.To my horror,there was a plastic bag full of ****e and toilet roll on the table beside the front door.

I'm guessing she closed the door before she took the bag and had a panic moment.I never saw her after,but in hindsight maybe i should've returned her belongings to her.

At least post a real story instead of a copy and paste job.

kylith

Nialler15 wrote: »

you sure it was your feet??

Well, it wasn't from my vagina, and my feet were covered in scabs so, yeah; I'm pretty sure it was from my feet.

OU812

Celly Smunt wrote: »

A good while ago I brought a girl on a date.We proceeded back to my place where we got it on etc etc.

Anyway,the next morning I let get know I was going to work and to leave whenever she felt like,just close the door and lift the handle when she is leaving.At this point I also advised her that the toilet wasn't working and it wouldnt flush.

At about 2 o'clock I got a text something along the lines of "im so sorry! I left something in your house that meant to take with me.".I thought fair enough I'll drop it over to her when im finished work.

I returned home at 6 or so to an almighty stench.To my horror,there was a plastic bag full of ****e and toilet roll on the table beside the front door.

I'm guessing she closed the door before she took the bag and had a panic moment.I never saw her after,but in hindsight maybe i should've returned her belongings to her.

Busted

http://youtu.be/KgB8uuWfX5M

Celly Smunt

Lads I've never been on a date,cut a nigga some slack.

4zn76tysfajdxp

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

At least post a real story instead of a copy and paste job.

But it is real story!


I mean, it probably didn't happen. But it really is a story.

seven_eleven

A girl smiled at me once, I froze and realised I have horrible social anxiety so I ran into the toilet and cried for the next 8 hours :pac:


(im joking...maybe)

Nialler15

kylith wrote: »

Well, it wasn't from my vagina, and my feet were covered in scabs so, yeah; I'm pretty sure it was from my feet.

Ah chill...I was only playing with you. Dont bite :D:D

kylith

Nialler15 wrote: »

Ah chill...I was only playing with you. Dont bite :D:D

Who's biting?

I'm confused as to where you think it could have come from that I could possibly confuse with my feet.

I Heart Internet

kylith and Nialler15 need to go on a date to sort this out.

I can cut the sexual tension with my c0ck a knife.

Nialler15

I Heart Internet wrote: »

kylith and Nialler15 need to go on a date to sort this out.

I can cut the sexual tension with my c0ck a knife.

you can feel it too???

kylith

I Heart Internet wrote: »

kylith and Nialler15 need to go on a date to sort this out.

I can cut the sexual tension with my c0ck a knife.

Only if he has nice absorbent sheets with which I can mop up the blood

I Heart Internet

Nialler15 wrote: »

you can feel it too???

It had to be said. The passion between you both burns with the intensity of a thousand suns :cool:

Invite me to the wedding guys!!

Nialler15

kylith wrote: »

Only if he has nice absorbent sheets with which I can mop up the blood

The finest of spongy cotton. Want my address? What time shall i expect you?

Larbre34

kylith wrote: »

Well, it wasn't from my vagina, and my feet were covered in scabs so, yeah; I'm pretty sure it was from my feet.

Go on, you're Kirsty from Eastenders, aren't you?

starlit

I Heart Internet wrote: »

Most awkward was proabably a lunchtime date (from a dating website). We just didn't click and in "real life" we probably wouldn't even have liked each other, let alone be attracted to each other. Had very little in common. To top it all she was wearing about two inches of make-up. I could tell she didn't think too highly of me either!

Nothing more dramatic than that to be honest.

Ya that happened to me too. Very awkward was one of the most awkward dates, We didn't click etc. While the few I did click with ended there was all platonic and didn't go beyond a first date while I got a strange text/call after a week and well found out he had been seeing someone so charmed me a bit too much he lead me to believe he hadn't a gf when I asked. Only one had more than more date with but that didn't work out either for me.

The only other awkward date was I was stood up! So finding a mutual connection of any sort can be hard to find and the pressure is on to find someone I am fussy as it is but I do try to be more open about it.

A group situation where out with a group I find easier chatting away no awkwardness or expectation to lead somewhere or not as awkward though than a date situation. It was college last time I went on anything like a date if you call it that.

Katgurl

Way too many bad dates -

I was once introduced to a guy by a mutual friend via email.After a bit of email banter we arranged to meet for a drink in two days. He seemed clever, articulate, amusing so I was looking forward to meeting him. I then went for some apres work drinks and proceeded to get completely annihilated. I looked like cr@p too. Despite this, I managed to score some bloke but not before having a public row with his obnoxious mate who I told to f**k right off in no uncertain terms. Obviously I was thrilled when I turned up for the blind date two days later to be greeted by Obnoxious Mate (even worse I didn't even recognise him, I'd been so buckled). I tried to fob it off by pretending I had a similar looking sister but he was having none of it.

Another guy I arranged a coffee with after we met at a concert the previous night and hit it off, he seemed good craic, sane, personable. I don't know if he was extremely nervous or whatever but when I turned up for date, he was a complete weirdo - took a phonecall immediately (barely said hello) when I arrived which lasted for the first 30 minutes talking to his friend saying things like "i'm here with a girl called 'Katgurl'... no you haven't met her... she's nice... I'll ask her... Katgurl would you like to come to my friend's for dinner... she says she's busy later". THen he held my hand announcing it was mating season, that we were in a relationship and he couldn't stand clingy women so please don't suffocate him. I hung out for a little while wondering did he have a unique brand of humour but then realised - no just nuts.

Loads more but too depressing to think about really.

Nialler15

Katgurl wrote: »

Way too many bad dates -

I was once introduced to a guy by a mutual friend via email.After a bit of email banter we arranged to meet for a drink in two days. He seemed clever, articulate, amusing so I was looking forward to meeting him. I then went for some apres work drinks and proceeded to get completely annihilated. I looked like cr@p too. Despite this, I managed to score some bloke but not before having a public row with his obnoxious mate who I told to f**k right off in no uncertain terms. Obviously I was thrilled when I turned up for the blind date two days later to be greeted by Obnoxious Mate (even worse I didn't even recognise him, I'd been so buckled). I tried to fob it off by pretending I had a similar looking sister but he was having none of it.

Another guy I arranged a coffee with after we met at a concert the previous night and hit it off, he seemed good craic, sane, personable. I don't know if he was extremely nervous or whatever but when I turned up for date, he was a complete weirdo - took a phonecall immediately (barely said hello) when I arrived which lasted for the first 30 minutes talking to his friend saying things like "i'm here with a girl called 'Katgurl'... no you haven't met her... she's nice... I'll ask her... Katgurl would you like to come to my friend's for dinner... she says she's busy later". THen he held my hand announcing it was mating season, that we were in a relationship and he couldn't stand clingy women so please don't suffocate him. I hung out for a little while wondering did he have a unique brand of humour but then realised - no just nuts.

Loads more but too depressing to think about really.

Oh Katgurl keep them coming.....Hilarious.

Ihatecuddles-old

I've posted this before.

Went on a date, great night, got on really well. Went home together, bit of how's your father....woke up The next morning and turned onto my stomach to talk to him, I did a massive fart. I never fart.

I was mortified. It was so loud if he laughed it wouldn't have been so bad, he just stared at me in complete silence while I buried my face in the pillow.

Nialler15

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I've posted this before.

Went on a date, great night, got on really well. Went home together, bit of how's your father....woke up The next morning and turned onto my stomach to talk to him, I did a massive fart. I never fart.

I was mortified. It was so loud if he laughed it wouldn't have been so bad, he just stared at me in complete silence while I buried my face in the pillow.

Do girls fart??? What? NOOOOOO tell me its not true.

endacl

kylith wrote: »

Who's biting?

I'm confused as to where you think it could have come from that I could possibly confuse with my feet.

His feet maybe??

Ihatecuddles-old

Nialler15 wrote: »

Do girls fart??? What? NOOOOOO tell me its not true.

I fart once a year. He caught me on a bad day! I burp like a monster though.

Nialler15

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I fart once a year. He caught me on a bad day! I burp like a monster though.

Burping is ok. We can have competitions Ihate. As for farting. Do you know what day of the year it happens? I dont want to be around.

Staff Infection

Not so much awkward date but an awkward parting of ways (dumping).

Went out a few times with this girl and it was fine but I wasn't clicking with her. So I decided it would be best if I ended the relationship as there was no point stringing the girl on if I didn't think it was going to work out. However, I chose the worst time to end it.

Had arranged to met for lunch and it was my plan to say it was over just after we got dessert (and I had paid the bill so as not to leave her broken hearted and paying a bill for two). However, there were two other couples near us and I couldn't dump her in front of them. So I walked her to her bus stop with the intention of saying it as her bus pulled up so she could hop on it to get away from me. However, there were a few unsavory characters at the bus stop so I said I'd get on with her until her stop.

At this point I was sick of putting it off so after I sat beside her it got the better of me and I announced "this isn't working out, I think we should call us a day before it goes on too long and we get too..." as I was saying this she got sad, said if that's what I want then fine and proceed to turn away from me and look out the window. Normally I would have gotten off at the next stop but we were sitting upstairs with the rough looking people at the back shouting nonsense and being aggressive so I wouldn't allow myself to move and instead sat their until her stop for another 15 minutes getting (rightly so) the cold shoulder and silent treatment. Then at her stop I stood up let her out said bye and that was it. Most awkward 15 minutes of my life, I actually tried to break the silence at the half way point by saying "so any plans for the weekend?" which got me a very dirty look and made the continued silence even more cringey.

Ihatecuddles-old

Nialler15 wrote: »

Burping is ok. We can have competitions Ihate. As for farting. Do you know what day of the year it happens? I dont want to be around.

Couldn't tell you. I frighten myself when it happens!

Norwesterner

Lay in a field in Bundoran one night (nice romantic start to the story), with a lass striding on top of me.
Beautiful starry scene above, and I couldn't have asked for more.
Till i realised the soft natural cushion under my head was a freshly-squeezed cowpat.
I kept schtum so as not to spoil the moment for her or kill her passion.
Only she then started crying (drunk-woman style crying) and talking about her miscarriage from the year previous and this was her first sex since then.
I sat up and listened trying to look forlorn.
All the while, hoping she wouldn't notice my hair caked in sh#t or the vomit inducing stench.
We parted that night amicably.

Nialler15

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Couldn't tell you. I frighten myself when it happens!

I find that if you do a little and often its much better.

wrmwit

I had gone on a couple of dates with this girl when she invited me back to her place. We went to her room and she told me I had to brush my teeth before we got into bed. I was like, no problem, but I don't have a tooth brush. She took a shoe box out of her wardrobe and when she opened it, it was full of new toothbrushes, still in their wrapping. So I took one and she said "I demand all of my sleep-overs to brush their teeth before they get into bed with me"!

So, I brushed my teeth, did the deed and ran a mile!

itac

Two that stand out from over the years....

First guy was a busker, i stopped to listen to him one monday evening on the way home from work when living in Newcastle upon Tyne. We started chatting, he seemed lovely and funny so we swopped emails, emailed each other over the next few days, funny lovely man seemed to be his nature, so arranged to meet him on the Friday after work. We met, he was hammered & high on something, gave out about the state of the beer, the state of the pub, and inevitably, the state of the nation, blamed a lot on the immigrants (and kept saying "i'm not saying you're an immigrant, you're just a paddy, they're not as bad as the rest...") He was cautioned twice by the bar staff for being too loud and disrupting others before i made my excuses about a last bus home (at 8pm...!) and left!

The other was a few yrs ago, met a nice guy, had stayed over with him twice, third night at his we had a big talk, i explained i didn't want anything serious, just a casual no commitment kinda thing-he thought that was fantastic. Next morning we're talking and he's telling me i should buy spare pyjamas/toiletries and clothes for his flat, as i'd be staying there so often....
I think our definitions of casual may have been slightly different...

**Vai**

Norwesterner wrote: »

Lay in a field in Bundoran one night (nice romantic start to the story), with a lass striding on top of me.
Beautiful starry scene above, and I couldn't have asked for more.
Till i realised the soft natural cushion under my head was a freshly-squeezed cowpat.
I kept schtum so as not to spoil the moment for her or kill her passion.
Only she then started crying (drunk-woman style crying) and talking about her miscarriage from the year previous and this was her first sex since then.
I sat up and listened trying to look forlorn.
All the while, hoping she wouldn't notice my hair caked in sh#t or the vomit inducing stench.
We parted that night amicably.

Thats the classiest story I have ever heard. Reminds me of a piece from a Jane Austen novel.

Nialler15

itac wrote: »

Two that stand out from over the years....

First guy was a busker, i stopped to listen to him one monday evening on the way home from work when living in Newcastle upon Tyne. We started chatting, he seemed lovely and funny so we swopped emails, emailed each other over the next few days, funny lovely man seemed to be his nature, so arranged to meet him on the Friday after work. We met, he was hammered & high on something, gave out about the state of the beer, the state of the pub, and inevitably, the state of the nation, blamed a lot on the immigrants (and kept saying "i'm not saying you're an immigrant, you're just a paddy, they're not as bad as the rest...") He was cautioned twice by the bar staff for being too loud and disrupting others before i made my excuses about a last bus home (at 8pm...!) and left!

The other was a few yrs ago, met a nice guy, had stayed over with him twice, third night at his we had a big talk, i explained i didn't want anything serious, just a casual no commitment kinda thing-he thought that was fantastic. Next morning we're talking and he's telling me i should buy spare pyjamas/toiletries and clothes for his flat, as i'd be staying there so often....
I think our definitions of casual may have been slightly different...

Ah the poor guy...The busker might have been a better option

wrmwit

I hooked with a girl I had known for a few years one night. The morning after I woke up and she had her 6 month old baby tucked in between us. I was about to leave but she offered to cook me breakfast. It would have been rude to say no, so I ran a mile after that!

I bumped into her in a shop last year and she introduced me to her 6 year old daughter! AWKWARD!

Czarcasm

Nialler15 wrote: »

Do girls fart??? What? NOOOOOO tell me its not true.

Do they whaaaat? :eek: I was doing work for a woman yesterday and thank fcuk I have no sense of smell... Every 20 minutes or so she'd let rip, followed by "Sorry, sorry...", I tried not to draw attention to it because I couldn't smell it, but her husband then came up from downstairs and closed the door! :pac:

Awkward dates, well, fcukloads of 'em, awkward one night stands, plenty of them too-

Czarcasm wrote: »

That'd honestly make me laugh though, but then I'm a bit of an odd bastard at the best of times, such as the day I wen't to doggy style a girl and suddenly she shouted "Aaaagh! Spearrr...", before she shot forward and burst her head off the headboard and then curled up in the foetal position.

I hadn't a clue what was after happening until she whispered "My ass, you dumb fcuk!" :pac:

astonaidan

Mr Benevolent wrote: »

Before one date the girl passed off her sister's picture as her. Needless to say there was 100kg in the difference.

I hate when your trying to pick up fatties and turns out there hot skinny sister shows up instead :mad:

Chin Stroker

Katgurl wrote: »

Then he held my hand announcing it was mating season

I am pie

A friend of mine, met an older lady in the pub, went home together for a night of it, he said he was fairly loud as he was pretty hammered and that he remembered her being a bit embarassed by his shouty ways. Got up in the morning about to get a taxi home, she said no need, I'll get my son to drop you home! 20 yr old son appears mortified from the bedroom next door and drops my pal back into town...most awkward half hour car trip of his life.

Kevhog1988

I am pie wrote: »

A friend of mine, met an older lady in the pub, went home together for a night of it, he said he was fairly loud as he was pretty hammered and that he remembered her being a bit embarassed by his shouty ways. Got up in the morning about to get a taxi home, she said no need, I'll get my son to drop you home! 20 yr old son appears mortified from the bedroom next door and drops my pal back into town...most awkward half hour car trip of his life.

Im crying laughing at that

Kevhog1988

Have had a few major awkward ones.. met a girl online... 2 people in her profiler... presumed she was the fitty not the fatty... met her after a few weeks and ended up leading her on just for the ride for about 6 months as i was having a bad patch. Had to get rid when she started asking me to meet her family and go to family do's etc. Ended up drunk dialling her n back for sexytime... now im trying to get rid of a **** buddy how do i dump a regular shag??