Relationship Deal Breakers

KingOfFairview

Physically I couldn't abide by the following

Skinniness
A very narrow face or nose
A huge jaw
A very long neck

mattjack

KingOfFairview wrote: »

Physically I couldn't abide by the following

Skinniness
A very narrow face or nose
A huge jaw
A very long neck

I know the answer .... A giraffe.

Nemeses

Nagging..

I can't stands it

Bad personal hygiene
Smoking
Stupidity
Possessiveness
Religiosity
Marked right-wing attitudes

KingOfFairview

mattjack wrote: »

I know the answer .... A giraffe.

Yep. I wouldn't go out with a giraffe.

non-physical no-nos would be

Ice queen personality
Unexpressive face
Racism
General right-wingittude
Being significantly more or less intelligent than me
Having a ruthless attitude
Being cavalier about turning up on time etc

Legs.Eleven

Candie wrote: »

Bad personal hygiene
Smoking
Stupidity
Possessiveness
Religiosity
Marked right-wing attitudes

But..but...but..

Surely you'd know most of these things before the relationship started? I know I definitely subtly check the political leaning, religion and brains of a fella on the first date.


We're not on the same page here - things that'd make you want to end it with someone, people!! Get with the programme (GWTP!)!! :mad:

mattjack

KingOfFairview wrote: »

Yep. I wouldn't go out with a giraffe.

non-physical no-nos would be

Ice queen personality
Unexpressive face
Racism
General right-wingittude
Being significantly more or less intelligent than me
Having a ruthless attitude
Being cavalier about turning up on time etc

Sounds like an evil villianess out of James Bond.I like this game ...next question.

Sprog 4

Excessive puking and/or pooing during coitus.

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

With-holding sex to get something. Thanks, but no thanks.

shopaholic01

Sprog 4 wrote: »

Excessive puking and/or pooing during coitus.

You're very tolerant, most people would say any puking/pooing.

Legs.Eleven

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Get with the programme (GWTP!)!! :mad:

I forgot use of acronyms

I suppose you'd have to pretty blind to get into a relationship, and only then find out he's a smelly Hitler sympathiser with a God fixation, but some people are really good at showing their best side and only letting the truth slip when they feel settled and safe.

starWave

Sprog 4 wrote: »

Excessive puking and/or pooing during coitus.

Whats excessive? More than once?

Sprog 4

shopaholic01 wrote: »

You're very tolerant, most people would say any puking/pooing.

You haven't seen me A little is ok. It's what I've come to expect.

I forgot farting.

If he thinks farting is hilarious, he's a non-runner.

Sprog 4

Candie wrote: »

I forgot farting.

If he thinks farting is hilarious, he's a non-runner.

Damn those runners and their straight-faced serious farts. Actually, that would be really creepy - if some stranger was looking at you all serious-like, farted, and kept the same intense stare afterwards.

Mariasofia

Body odour would be a big no no for me. If he started to smell he'd be out the gap.

Legs.Eleven

Candie wrote: »

I forgot farting.

If he thinks farting is hilarious, he's a non-runner.

I agree with you on most point generally but not this!

My boyfriends farts excessively (Spanish. Healthy mediterranean diet. They all do.) and he always laughs after it as do I. Juvenile as it is, farting is a comical sound. He had to stifle it the first few months together and when he finally let one rip, I knew he loved me.



Not sure how I'll feel about it 20 years down the line though.

starWave

Candie wrote: »

I forgot farting.

If he thinks farting is hilarious, he's a non-runner.

What do you expect him to do? hold it in?

Marsden

Hairy muff.

Wibbs

UCDVet wrote: »

For me, it's change. Maybe that's not fair, but I am who I am.

Every single time I've broken up with a girl, it's been because she's changed (or stopped misrepresenting herself) in some way that I didn't like.

I'm no prize pig....and I'm not that shallow. But I really can't stand when someone "let's themselves go". I mean, just be who you are...because that's what I'm signing up for. Whether it is gaining weight, or changing clothing styles or whatever. It really seems like there is this pattern where the cute girl you met at that party with a great body, nice face, good clothes turns into a frumpy chick wearing sweatpants to Eddie Rockets. Then, when you two do break up, she immediately reverts back to what she used to.

I've not had that myself thankfully, but I've seen it with mates of mine's partners and not just the women either. I've seen blokes turn into slobs sofa surfing while chugging takeout watching the match. Check out their wardrobe, if there's a range of sizes like in a shop then not so good.

THFC wrote: »

With-holding sex to get something. Thanks, but no thanks.

+1000.

Candie wrote: »

I suppose you'd have to pretty blind to get into a relationship, and only then find out he's a smelly Hitler sympathiser with a God fixation, but some people are really good at showing their best side and only letting the truth slip when they feel settled and safe.

Oh people can be pretty blind. I've found the ladies to often be their own worst enemy on this score. Maybe because they can mistake horniness for affection more often, but men get blindsided by a nice rack often enough too. One tip, check out how they interact with members of the opposite sex when around you, cos that's likely how they're gonna treat you once the initial excitement has waned.

Tip two, forget if you think they're hot, listen and I mean listen to what they tell you about themselves. People's fave subject is nearly always themselves and they're usually brutally honest too, but often masked in jest. EG "Oh I can be a bit jealous" *tee hee, big eyes and smile* = I'll be searching through your emails to back up my "gut feeling" you're cheating. "I see your man looking at you" *stern face* = run to the effin hills.

KingOfFairview

starWave wrote: »

What do you expect him to do? hold it in?

He could be discreet, instead of roaring and bellowing about it.

starWave

KingOfFairview wrote: »

He could be discreet, instead of roaring and bellowing about it.

Well yea, that's rude. but sometimes you can't stop the noise.

Wacker The Attacker

I find that chicks with extremely hairy fannies to be something of a turn off

Wacker The Attacker

What turns me off is someone who is overly dedicated to their jobs.

I have no problems with anyone achieving what they want but there are other important things in life

shopaholic01

starWave wrote: »

What do you expect him to do? hold it in?

Her problem isn't with a guy farting, it's him being juvenile enough to think it's hilarious.

Wacker The Attacker

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Her problem isn't with a guy farting, it's him being juvenile enough to think it's hilarious.

It is hilarious Anyone who cant appreciate a big strong fart is weird

Sprog 4

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Her problem isn't with a guy farting, it's him being juvenile enough to think it's hilarious.

Come on though. How awkward would it be if nobody laughed? If I let one out in the presence of my (theoretical) gf or other people I didn't want to fart in front of and nobody laughed I'd probably panic laugh.

bur

Baggy labia.

starWave

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

It is hilarious Anyone who cant appreciate a big strong fart is weird

bonus points for playing a tune

Wacker The Attacker

bur wrote: »

Baggy labia.

Yeah. That's an issue

shopaholic01

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

It is hilarious Anyone who cant appreciate a big strong fart is weird

Sprog 4 wrote: »

Come on though. How awkward would it be if nobody laughed? If I let one out in the presence of my (theoretical) gf or other people I didn't want to fart in front of and nobody laughed I'd probably panic laugh.

Every single time though? What if you're together 3 yrs - will every fart still be funny or awkward?

Wacker The Attacker

starWave wrote: »

bonus points for playing a tune

Defo. Farting the national anthem should carry bonus points in the leaving

Wacker The Attacker

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Every single time though? What if you're together 3 yrs - will every fart still be funny or awkward?

Of course

Czarcasm

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I find that chicks with extremely hairy fannies to be something of a turn off

Purely out of genuine curiosity Wacker, but have you ever, when in the throes of passion and you're confronted by shall we say by a rather hairy area, would you ever have said "Ehh, no, I can't do this!"...

Be honest now... :pac:


(I was going to ask Wacker would you attack her tackle with a weed whacker, but it was a bit of a mouthful :eek:)

KingOfFairview

If a man is ebulliently farting his approval of a political speech with a scowl upon his face, I can imagine that being pretty sexy. Otherwise it's pathetic

Quaint Village

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Every single time though? What if you're together 3 yrs - will every fart still be funny or awkward?

+1

Sprog 4

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Every single time though? What if you're together 3 yrs - will every fart still be funny or awkward?

No. Not the ones that happen in during sleep.

shopaholic01

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Of course

Sprog 4 wrote: »

No. Not the ones that happen in during sleep.

Out of curiousity, how old are you?

Miss Lockhart

How would the farters feel if their girlfriend took the same approach?

KingOfFairview

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

How would the farters feel if their girlfriend took the same approach?

It's an awful, awful feeling.

Sprog 4

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Out of curiousity, how old are you?

I'm a man. What does age have to do with it? Besides, farts are a timeless comedy showpiece. Just think of all the sketches, sitcoms and films where farts have been used as a comedic tool. Are you saying if you and your other half were sitting on a bus and he projected forth a glorious triple squeaker that was met with a wave of amusement and quiet appreciation by your fellow travellers that a gentle smile wouldn't cross your lips for a fleeting moment? Ok fair enough, that might be funnier than a flabby stencher first thing in the morning when you just wake up but I just take most opportunities I can to have a laugh I guess - if sometimes it comes across as a bit juvenile then so be it. Life is short

1ZRed

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Whats worse are those people who think jealousy is "cute". I have two friends who are going out at the moment and regularly tell each other when they're jealous (good that they talk about it in fairness), but it does my head in whenever I'm around them. "Awww I was really jealous of that hot girl chatting you up in the bar tonight" "aww babe don't be, you know I love you"

*throws up a little*

Oh that's definitely another dealbreaker: being too mushy luvy dovey, especially when in the company of others.

I hate that overly loved up shíte too. That and pet names. I wouldn't be able to stick someone who was big into them because it'd just wear away at me. If I like someone I'll affectionately call them prick.

That's about as romantic as I get

Legs.Eleven

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Every single time though? What if you're together 3 yrs - will every fart still be funny or awkward?

I have to say, Shopaholic, as a woman, I still find my boyfriend's farts hilarious 2 and a half years on (1 year living together). He genuinely can't help it and because of the frequency of this farts, I'd be afraid he'd die if he kept them trapped. I suppose it's the guilty face after and the "sorry!". Juvenile as it is, it's gas (pun intended ). He's the most mannerly person besides from this and it's his only real transgression, so I see the funny side to it. You could do worse things.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

Tip two, forget if you think they're hot, listen and I mean listen to what they tell you about themselves. People's fave subject is nearly always themselves and they're usually brutally honest too, but often masked in jest. EG "Oh I can be a bit jealous" *tee hee, big eyes and smile* = I'll be searching through your emails to back up my "gut feeling" you're cheating. "I see your man looking at you" *stern face* = run to the effin hills.

Not a mistake I've ever made, because I've observed that most people will actually spell out who they are, if you just listen. If he says 'I'll break your heart' you can't say you haven't been warned, but so many girls just laugh and think they don't really mean it.

Best insight into a man's character is how he treats old ladies or women he isn't attracted to. If he can't be bothered interacting with women without even a possibility of sex with them, he's not likely to be the deep sort.

I was asked once why I had a code lock on my phone. Even the question was enough to ring my bells.

starWave

starWave wrote: »

What do you expect him to do? hold it in?

No, he can excuse himself like a polite adult and let nature take it's course where no one else has to be subjected to his methane emissions.

I don't understand how anyone over 7 finds farting funny.

Sorry Legs!

mikom

Candie wrote: »

I don't understand how anyone over 7 finds farting funny.

http://campclem.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/pipe-and-slippers.jpg

starWave

Candie wrote: »

No, he can excuse himself like a polite adult and let nature take it's course where no one else has to be subjected to his methane emissions.

if you spend a lot of time together, and he has a lot of gas, they could get tiring very quickly

mikom

mikom wrote: »

http://campclem.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/pipe-and-slippers.jpg

I'll gladly take a pipe and* slippers over inhaling someone else's faecal spores.

*(I hate smoking too. )

starWave

starWave wrote: »

if you spend a lot of time together, and he has a lot of gas, they could get tiring very quickly

Hence the dealbreaker aspect.

Wibbs

Candie wrote: »

I forgot farting.

If he thinks farting is hilarious, he's a non-runner.

Yea TBH farting would be a no no with me. I don't mean a natural escape of gas, I mean a woman lifting an arse cheek letting one rip and going "ohh get that". Instant turnoff and game over. BTW I'd apply the same criteria to myself in female company. Funny enough other bodily stuff that would have a fair few men running to the hills, like periods no bother at all. But deliberate farting for comedic effect, nope. Colour me old fashioned but there you go.

Czarcasm wrote: »

Purely out of genuine curiosity Wacker, but have you ever, when in the throes of passion and you're confronted by shall we say by a rather hairy area, would you ever have said "Ehh, no, I can't do this!"...

Be honest now... :pac:

Well.... Once back in the day I was confronted with a hairy area that had me wondering whether to plough on, or don a pith helmet, grab a machette and go looking for a lost tribe who'd never seen a white man. I mean this was crazy time. She could have walked around sans underwear without revealing anything of a post watershed nature. Hair I can deal with, but parrots flitting and howler monkeys braying not so much.