Unnecessary spending

iguana

I was reading something elsewhere about the cost of babies and decided to add up what I spend on my son in a week/month. I didn't think it would add up to very much at all as he is breastfed, has been eating small portions of our food since he started solids and only wears cloth nappies and I use cloth wipes. I'm a stay at home mother so we don't have childcare costs. For essentials he costs a euro or two a week for a tiny amount of extra food and the cost of his washing.

But then I tried adding up what else I spend on him over the last month and it was pretty shocking. I buy everything either on sale or preferably secondhand and I plan a lot in advance so my costs are a lot lower than they could be but I was still a bit floored by what I'm spending on him. I bought a lot more this month than usual but it's still amazing to add it all up. First off are the regulars. I usually spend €7 a week on playgroup and a donation to my breastfeeding group. Not a big spend but in a month that's €28-35 and 3-7 times more than his essentials in the same time period. Then there are toys. I'd been thinking of buying him a ballpond for a while but couldn't get a good one secondhand so when Argos had a toy sale during a few weeks ago I got him a ballpond, balls, a box of musical toys for his birthday in November and a box of wooden blocks for Xmas. That was about €35. Then I got him some winter pajama suits, including a Xmas themed set and a dressing gown and a teddy in Penneys for €21. Recently I got him a winter rain coat in Dunnes for €10 and this week they were selling off lots of baby/toddler clothing and I spent about €30 on quite a lot of clothing, some for now/this autumn winter, some for the next year or two. And finally I've decided he's big and strong enough to go on bike rides so I spent about €55 on a second hand bike seat (it's a Wee Ride which is about twice that new) and €18 on an infant/toddler helmet online which is about half the price I was seeing for good quality ones here. So it comes to about €200.

For a baby who costs so little for essentials I've spent at least 100 times more on non-essentials, maybe close to twice that. It seems so excessive and I'm almost embarrassed having added it all up. I didn't think I was such a big spender. I know that some of what I bought is needed, at his age for example, he only gets a few months wear out of a lot of his clothing and then he needs bigger stuff, so new clothing is necessary. But a few generations ago and in many parts of the world people manage just fine with 3 or 4 outfits at a time and then made/make do with extra blankets.

I'm not sure what the point of this thread is apart from needing to share my surprise at how much you can spend on a baby without actually needing to, even if you are a careful shopper and I'm wondering if other parents are the same.

lazygal

The first one is always going to be expensive. We're not extravagant parents at all compared to many we know. I mainly breastfed and we bought a few bottles and sterilizer, all half price in a sale. We did baby led weaning and never bought baby food, but I've noticed our food spend has increased. We made everything anyway, so no processed food, but her appetite has to taken into account, like a pack of steak mince doesn't go as far as it used to. I would keep an eye out for sales, and tend to spend on quality clothes that wash really well. I don't buy much in Pennys/Dunnes because I got stung a few times, so she doesn't have a massive wardrobe but its all really new looking. We use cloth nappies and I've bought most of the larger ones second hand, so we'd buy pampers once in a blue moon, always on sale. We bought an expensive car seat but it'll do her until four.

However, now we're due number two we've spent virtually nothing apart from a double buggy. All clothes until six months will be reused, and if its another girl well we won't be buying them much. Toys are mostly still perfect, won't be buying anything there. The baby car seat is good to go, as is the breast pump and bottles, etc. We bought an expensive double but it will convert to a single and will be used for several years - we hope to sell it on eventually and the resale on it is good. So while the first cost a lot, I can safely say this time around baby is very inexpensive. I also find we spend a lot less on social life and on ourselves, which also balances out.

The baby basics don't cost much, and unless you go for brand new, most expensive items, can be picked up cheaper.

We don't pay childcare costs so that's €700+ less a month than others have to pay in my area.

We pay for swimming, toddler groups and soft play centres. Parks and playgrounds are free but they're not for every day.

My son has less than half the amount of toys similar age kids do. However, I have realised that as he gets older he does actually need more to play with, they do get bored with certain things and I like to give him age appropriate toys. So what was suitable at 16 months isn't great at 24 months.
Play dough and crayons are good for rainy days at his age, books too. I got a huge box of Megablox which he's starting to show an interest in too and he loves trains and cars.
A lot depends on whether you're at home during the day, and the weather. Lately he's hardly played with toys because we're out all the time but that won't be the case in winter.
It also depends on how many kids you have! A young toddler won't quite amuse themselves for longer than a few minutes so if you've a young baby to feed you might need more entertainment for them.

Clothes wise I'm lucky that a friend has a son a year older and passed on an entire summer wardrobe for him. Shoes add up, he's increased shoe size twice in three months and he's hard on his shoes too.

pwurple

We use hand-me-down clothes and get toys and books in the charity shop or library. You can get great toys for 1 euro or 1.50. And it saves them going to landfill.

Food, shoes and childcare are our expenses. Shoes are mental money.

2xj3hplqgsbkym

You don't spend much compared to most parents and what you are spending on is giving you value for money, playgroups, books etc.. don't be embarrassed or regretful about this, it's your child and the most worthwhile investment you will ever make.

Aineoil

pwurple wrote: »

We use hand-me-down clothes and get toys and books in the charity shop or library. You can get great toys for 1 euro or 1.50. And it saves them going to landfill.

Food, shoes and childcare are our expenses. Shoes are mental money.

Yes, I agree shoes are mental money.

iguana

lazygal wrote: »

However, now we're due number two we've spent virtually nothing apart from a double buggy. All clothes until six months will be reused, and if its another girl well we won't be buying them much. Toys are mostly still perfect, won't be buying anything there. The baby car seat is good to go, as is the breast pump and bottles, etc. We bought an expensive double but it will convert to a single and will be used for several years - we hope to sell it on eventually and the resale on it is good. So while the first cost a lot, I can safely say this time around baby is very inexpensive.

That's true. Everything we have would still work for another child and I can say hand on heart that if we do have a second child and it's a girl there is nothing of my son's that I wouldn't dress her in.

Rachineire

iguana wrote: »

That's true. Everything we have would still work for another child and I can say hand on heart that if we do have a second child and it's a girl there is nothing of my son's that I wouldn't dress her in.

Ditto about this! I tried to buy as much as possible that could be unisex (purple carseat, neutral coloring in nursery, lots of neutral colored clothing) if we have another and its a girl we would buy some bits that would be for a girl but I have no issues using clothes my LO wears now!
Also yes most of my extra money goes for things for my baby. But in fairness to me I don't buy unless it's on sale or clearance and its usually only things he needs like clothes in bigger sizes. Every so often he gets a new toy or book but even at that I look in charity shops first (found some great deals there!) And I buy lots of toys at secondhand baby markets. I make all of his food so that saves there too. We do use disposeable nappies but they are aldi or lidl and find them to be great. We don't have a lot of money at all but we make it work. Babies are as expensive or as cheap as you make them and the first one will always be the most expensive!

pwurple

Rachineire wrote: »

Babies are as expensive or as cheap as you make them and the first one will always be the most expensive!

In general for sure this is right... but I've a total bee in my bonnet about shoes because I just bought some more.

This bloody climate... she needs sandals for warm days, regular shoes, and boots then as well for the cold days and drizzle. 3 pairs ever time she goes up a size. 30 to 50 quid each for proper ones (which you better get or you are ruining her feet for ever and will be branded some kind of bad parent!) And she goes up a size every 8 - 10 weeks.

And they wear like crazy. Those shoes are no good for another child, they are in bits.

Must find a way of repairing them... my local cobbler doesn't do childrens shoes, said the work required is too fiddley, and he would have to charge too much. Must look further afield.


*rant over*

Hannibal Smith

I must be the scabbiest parent going! I dont buy toys enough to need a charity shop purchase....the only clothes the youngest wears are hand me downs fromhis bbrother. If the eldest needs clothes its penneys or tescos stuff he gets. My mum buys them a rake of clothes at Christmas and I keep them for good occasions. They eat what we eat.

I guess nappies and milk are our only extras for now. Oh and when we go out, we used to get away with one drink between the two, but now they want one each. We're still getting away with dividing a muffin and if it's dinner the little guy still shares mine.

And the wine we need on a friday

lazygal

On shoes, we haven't bothered with them yet and she's been walking for four months. With the weather being warm and her being happy in bare feet we've decided to let her be shoe free until it gets cold. Shoes are something I wouldn't skimp on, my mum and her siblings have foot problems due to a lack of proper foot measurement, shoes passed to siblings with different feet and worn out shoes being used. We always went shoe free in summertime.

Oral Slang

I got 2 big black bags of clothes from friends of ours that have done my little one for the past 10 months, but I still have to buy vests & socks. Shoes do cost a lot & she's gone up about 5 sizes since she started walking at 10 months.

I go to the library with her once a week, as I was spending a fortune on books. Within a week she's bored of what she has & knows most of the words, so the library is the ideal solution. We got a cot, high chair & stroller as a lend when she was born so didn't need to buy them. I bought a slide on gumtree for €10, normally €80 new. Got 2 paddling pools as presents, so one did as a ball pool & 1 for the summer.

My dad bought us our travel system - it was €500 and while it wasn't worth it, the car seat worked out great, as she's 22 months & still fits in it. The buggy has had a problem with the locking system, so now trying to figure out what to do when no. 2 comes along in November.

I bought a full set of cloth nappies on ebay for €100 when she was born, but am ashamed to say that I never used them. I found breastfeeding and generally getting used to being a mammy all encompassing & just went with disposables. I'm rethinking them for no. 2, but if I get them, I'll probably go down the nappy library route. Did buy some bottles for pumping, but very few and a medela mini electric that was on sale in Tesco. Got a load of the bottles for it from my sister in law, so delighted with that.

I work 4 days a week, so I do have childcare costs, but it's family minding her, so thankfully not massive. I'll be on maternity leave come November, so those costs will be gone, but I'm taking the full 4 months unpaid leave, so will need to start saving for them.

When my daughter was small & I was on maternity leave I went to a lot of classes - babysign, claphandies, baby yoga, swimming, so they did add up, but we loved them & with the baby yoga, I made a whole set of new friends. As a result, we all regularly have playdates. Of the 12 of us, 2 have had babies & 7 are pregnant, so while I won't be doing classes, there'll be plenty of people to visit while I'm off.

I'm going to carry on the swimming and hopefully bring the new baby too, but it's €64 for 8 classes, so definitely the cheaper option over waterbabies, aquababies etc. I think it's great for them anyway, gets them used to the water & good exercise.

galah

shoes are defo crazy money, but they need them I guess ;-(

I think we've gone totally overboard with stuff, bought a massive swing set and other outdoor play stuff (we live in the countryside, the nearest playground is about 7 km away - no use if you want to send him outside for just a little bit, and he's too small to just let him run around outside), and we're suckers for buying cute toys and clothes (little tyke growing out of them very quickly as well...;-))

what floored me was the ESB bill since E arrived (we mainly heat with electricity plus solid fuel stove). All these bits and pieces add up, and even if it's just the extra immersion for the bath, the sterilizer, the dishwasher, the extra load of washing and drying - our bills have gone through the roof (and nothing we can do about it - can't really let babba freeze in winter...).


Things should be cheaper with number 2 though, as we'll have all the gear/toys/basic clothes, so in a way it's not wasted money (that's what I am telling myself, anyway). Then again, I don't spend anything on myself anymore, haven't bought a pair of shoes for myself in years...:o

The only thing I will invest in for number 2 is a baby bay bed (they convert into other furniture later) for co-sleeping. We had one on loan for E, but cant get it this time, so I will invest - it really saved my back the first 6 months, and makes things a lot easier. Not necessary, but great nonetheless ;-)

but as someone else here said, babies are as cheap or as expensive as you make them - most of the stuff we got is not strictly necessary...;-)

iguana

I was very lucky last year as the house we lived in for most of the winter had a wood burning stove and my Dad went and cut part of a tree that had fallen and filled my shed with blocks. We kept the whole house warm for the price of a few bales of briquettes and a box of firelighters. Won't have that option this year as my current house doesn't even have a working fireplace.

On the shoes thing, I've decided on soft leather moccasins for the winter. He's learning to walk now but his feet still have that 'clubfoot' look babies have, so I won't try to put him in shoes for quite a while yet. He's barefoot all the time at the moment but when it's too cold for that the moccasins will keep his feet warm, give him purchase on the floor but still give his foot freedom not too dissimilar to being barefoot.