Potty training troubles

wolfpawnat

But all the literature I have seen (and after 2 years of failed attempts I read more than my fair share) regarding potty training promotes a reward system, stickers on a chart/toys/etc. My guy was told X toy when he learned to go pee pee, and Y toy when he learnt to go poo poo. He got both and has never looked back.

Ciarabear

wolfpawnat wrote: »

But all the literature I have seen (and after 2 years of failed attempts I read more than my fair share) regarding potty training promotes a reward system, stickers on a chart/toys/etc

Yeah, that's true but the whole rationale behind a rewards system is that it's given on merit as opposed to demand when a child screams for it. Giving a reward when a child screams and demands something is just rewarding negative behaviour and sends mixed signals

wolfpawnat

Ciarabear wrote: »

Yeah, that's true but the whole rationale behind a rewards system is that it's given on merit as opposed to demand when a child screams for it. Giving a reward when a child screams and demands something is just rewarding negative behaviour and sends mixed signals

I am a terrible mother, if he demands and says he'll wet himself, I dare him to. He hasn't followed through on the threat yet.

Ciarabear

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I am a terrible mother, if he demands and says he'll wet himself, I dare him to. He hasn't followed through on the threat yet.

Nah, that's being a sensible mother not being dictated to by a winchey person!

Neyite

Ciarabear wrote: »

I'm sorry but there is something fundamentally wrong about children demanding iPads to now go to the toilet. What's next -a trip to Disneyland for eating dinner?

Seriously, this quick-fix approach to parenting may be effective in the short-term but it's really doing your child no favours in the long-term. Giving them the message that they can make demands at will is not only setting a child up for a lifetime of disappointment but it also means you're at ransom to the whims of a toddler?

You cannot hand total power to a toddler without expecting total chaos to come with it. Either leave potty-training until your child is ready to deal with it or do it on your terms, not the terms of a 3 year old

Ciara, how did you potty train your child(ren)? You seem to have handled it without bribes or props so I'm very interested in what worked for you.

iguana

Ciarabear wrote: »

Giving a reward when a child screams and demands something is just rewarding negative behaviour and sends mixed signals

Farmchoice described his son screaming for the iPad exactly no times so I'm not sure why children screaming for things is such an issue for you here.

Ciarabear

Neyite wrote: »

Ciara, how did you potty train your child(ren)? You seem to have handled it without bribes or props so I'm very interested in what worked for you.

I find waiting until a child is ready quite effective, reading cues like them telling you they've done a poo, appearing uncomfortable when in a dirty nappy, not wanting to wear a nappy at all. Patience I suppose more than anything.

iguana wrote: »

Farmchoice described his son screaming for the iPad exactly no times so I'm not sure why children screaming for things is such an issue for you here.

Are you here to contribute to the potty-training discussion or to be pedantic for no apparent reason? (Implausible referred to her child screaming)

anncoates

I thought the thread was about friendly potty training advice as opposed to Super Parent Of The Year awards.

Owryan

Im a dad, had similar issues training my 3yo, he would go if I reminded him but any distraction at all and he would end up messing himself.

We had a reward chart but it wasnt working.........until we put it up in the bathroom. That way he got to see his stars going up everytime he went toilet. It was a game changer and everything has been great since

moochers

Hey there OP
I know another post mentioned that their oldest child had no issues but it was problematic for their second child.

It was the opposite for me, ages to train older son, youngest child no problem. I think it was probably because he saw that his older bro was wearing 'big boy pants' and he wanted them too.

Don't worry too much, it's great the creche will allow pull ups but I think within a few weeks of being there she will get the hang of it as she will copy the other kids and get into the routine of regular toilet breaks.

Good luck ! This too shall pass:)

Neyite

Ciarabear wrote: »

I find waiting until a child is ready quite effective, reading cues like them telling you they've done a poo, appearing uncomfortable when in a dirty nappy, not wanting to wear a nappy at all. Patience I suppose more than anything.

How old was yours when it happened, and how long did it take you with this method?

implausible

Ciarabear wrote: »

I find waiting until a child is ready quite effective, reading cues like them telling you they've done a poo, appearing uncomfortable when in a dirty nappy, not wanting to wear a nappy at all. Patience I suppose more than anything.



Are you here to contribute to the potty-training discussion or to be pedantic for no apparent reason? (Implausible referred to her child screaming)

She's not being pedantic, what I said was:

implausible wrote: »

My child will sit on the toilet for a while with a book, but he will go without a screaming row about it if he can play a game on my phone.

Not quite the same as the child screaming for my phone. He often doesn't want to go and fights with me over it, promising him the phone cuts a lot of that out and makes him sit longer. I'm fairly sure he won't need it when he's 15:rolleyes:

What is your main concern here Ciarabear - are you assuming that parents who bribe their toddlers in this way to get them to use the toilet are letting the children get their own way all the rest of the time or that giving the child a device to play with while potty-training is doing the child harm?

farmchoice

Ciarabear wrote: »

I'm sorry but there is something fundamentally wrong about children demanding iPads to now go to the toilet. What's next -a trip to Disneyland for eating dinner?

Seriously, this quick-fix approach to parenting may be effective in the short-term but it's really doing your child no favours in the long-term. Giving them the message that they can make demands at will is not only setting a child up for a lifetime of disappointment but it also means you're at ransom to the whims of a toddler?

You cannot hand total power to a toddler without expecting total chaos to come with it. Either leave potty-training until your child is ready to deal with it or do it on your terms, not the terms of a 3 year old

How dare you. I have never offered my child a trip abroad in return for eating his dinner, that would be outrageous and to be frank pointless as he is not so stupid as to believe id bring him.
The most I have ever offered him in return for eating his dinner is a trip to the swimming pool (this happened yesterday evening in fact but in my defense I had not read your critique of my parenting until this morning).

I don't think i'm really a bad parent or that I engage in bad parenting, I just think I'm a real parent engaged in real parenting.

angelfire9

farmchoice wrote: »

Ah the joys, how about this for bad parenting,

our lad, three and a half, got the hang of the pees alright but number twos were proving a nightmare. in the end I starting giving him the i-pad and leaving him on the toilet (on one of those seat inserts) it worked!! The only problem now is he wont go unless he has the i-pad and now he has starting taking the piss a bit, 'daddy I have poos quick i-pad' of course it transpires he does not in fact 'have poos' he just wants the i-pad.
The only hope is that I can phase out the I-pad and replace it with the newspaper!

Well, regardless of Ciara's opinion I am actually going to try and use the iPad trick with my lady
She won't sit on potty or toilet long enough to do anything and then we have accidents so maybe the colouring app on the iPad will help

Bagheera

Thought I'd join in as I started training my son last week. He did really well for a few days, then yesterday was a total disaster (he was in creche and had many accidents). I was on the verge of giving up last night as I was worried I had started him too early. However he had a great day today, no wee wee accidents at all.

Ok so he knows what he is doing no 1 wise but he doesn't seem to realise when he needs a no 2. I'm a little surprised as he has been telling me for months when he has a dirty nappy. I might try the letting him watch/play with a device while using the loo over the weekend. Last weekend he pooed for me in the potty because I sat reading peppa pig books to him for 20 mins but when left to his own devices he poos his pants. Any other tips?

I have never talked about poo so much in my life than I have over the last few days!!

implausible

Bagheera wrote: »

I might try the letting him watch/play with a device while using the loo over the weekend. Last weekend he pooed for me in the potty because I sat reading peppa pig books to him for 20 mins but when left to his own devices he poos his pants. Any other tips?

I have never talked about poo so much in my life than I have over the last few days!!

It's ridiculous what passes for a conversation in our house these days too!

The reason I give my buck the phone is to get him to sit long enough to do a pooh, he has no patience and will hop off the loo and have dirty pants 5 mins later. There's a great app called Zoodles which locks your phone/tablet for kid use. They can only access certain apps, recommend toddler - appropriate ones and you can set a time limit on it.

Just make sure the device doesn't go for a swim!

sillysocks

implausible wrote: »

There's a great app called Zoodles which locks your phone/tablet for kid use. They can only access certain apps, recommend toddler - appropriate ones and you can set a time limit on it.

Must get that - at the moment we use airplane mode to stop any stray texts, phone calls etc going out, but she has turned that off the odd time so the app might be better.

January

Ciarabear wrote: »

I find waiting until a child is ready quite effective, reading cues like them telling you they've done a poo, appearing uncomfortable when in a dirty nappy, not wanting to wear a nappy at all. Patience I suppose more than anything.



Are you here to contribute to the potty-training discussion or to be pedantic for no apparent reason? (Implausible referred to her child screaming)

If I had waited for my three year old to be ready I'd have been waiting an age. She'd lie if you asked her was she poo'ing in her nappy even though I knew she was and if she was poo and I smelled her she'd deny it too. She just didn't want to train at all.

The first three days she wee'd all over the place and poo'd her underwear more than once. But she started getting the hang of it. We've only had one or two accidents since.

Bagheera

I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but since I started toilet training my 2.5 year old he has started acting a bit babyish in other ways. He was always fiercely independent when it came to eating, but now he is asking me to feed him! I suppose it could be because everyone is emphasising the 'grown up' element of wearing pants. I'm sure he'll grow out of it and I don't mind babying him a bit at the moment as I was nearly in tears buying him his first underwear; he's growing up so quickly