Elective C-section after first difficult birth

aniwa

Hi,
I'm posting this here not in pregnancy as I imagine I'll get more info from 2nd time and more mums here.
My first delivery ended up with using forceps and as a result I had a 3rd degree tear. The emotional recovery from this was much more difficult then physical. The wound took ages to heal, loads of physiotherapy and the hardest thing was to get over the fact that I couldn't give birth on my own.
Now I'm 28th weeks due with my second baby and I've been told today at the hospital that I can have elective C-section if I want to.
The doctor also told me that the percentage of another forceps delivery is much lover with second child and the chance for 3rd degree tear is 10pc. So now I have an option between possible difficult tear vs normal natural delivery or no tear and undergoing an operation, the c-section.
My first child will be 20 months when the baby come so she still needs a lot of care and attention.
Has anyone been in similar situation? What was your recovery after the c-section and did you have to look after the small child at the same time?
I don't have any close family here to help, just me and my fiancee. I also intend to breastfeed so I'm not sure if c-section could have an impact on this.
Many thanks for any insightful information.

January

Unless you go to Mount Carmel most hospitals have a "rooming in" policy where the baby is with you at all times after the birth, c section or not. So yes you will have to look after baby after the c section in the hospital.

I had an emergency c section on my first and the recovery was difficult but I know others who thought it was much easier.

Das Kitty

Hullo.

My first birth ended up in an emergency section and I, like you, took a long long time to recover from the emotional scars from the whole thing.

What I can tell you about having a section is that it does take time to recover, yes, but that I didn't find it overly debilitating.

I roomed-in with my infant. If I needed him passed to me or put in his cot for the first couple nights I just needed to ring the bell. They also changed his nappy those nights if it was needed (my husband was there during the day). After that I was well able to do it myself. After the second night I could carry him grand.

I'm having an elective section in 6 weeks' time. I think a lot is made of the physical recovery, but very little is ever said about the emotional recovery. To me this is like me ensuring as far as possible that it won't be a repeat of last time. It probably wouldn't be anyway, but at least I feel like I have a little more control over it.

2xj3hplqgsbkym

A very long post here from me, I had a very similar experience and deciding whether or not to have a c section was very difficult. I did lots of research and was overly consumed with thinking about it, I wish someone had just made the decision for me, but of course they couldn't.

My first birth was fine (as births go) had 3a tear, but recovered well, and had the option from beginning of 2nd pregnancy to have a c section.

After much research I decided to have the section. I found the whole thing not very nice to put it mildly, was completely out of it on drugs in the hospital, was in a lot of pain and my recovery was very slow and had to take pain killers for 2 months . My scar healed fine (well had infection for a while) but internally it took me over 7 months to heal, constant pain, difficult to hold baby, couldn't wear tights, leggings, knickers etc.. that touched my lower abdomen, found it difficult to bend/ play with kids on floor etc... Brestfeeding was very difficult for me but I don't think that had anything to do with the section.

I regretted the section and didn't enjoy any of the birthing experience even though I tried to be positive about it.


Saying all that, 10 months on I am fine. It is only now that I think that I made the right decision. Like you, there was a 10% chance of another tear, that means 1 in 10. Now the tear could easily have become 4th degree and lead to incontinence, that was my biggest fear. I know a girl who had bowel incontinence for a year after a 3b tear. Urinary incontinence is very common also.

So even though I did not have a good experience I am fine now. I am not incontinent, if I had vaginal birth it could have been fine or I could be incontinent, I will never know.

Almost everyone I spoke to recovered fine from their sections, much quicker than me, my friend was out walking 3 weeks later and practically jumping around the place, not a bother on her.

Looking after toddler after baby is going to be hard either way, so I wouldn't let that really sway you one way or the other. With the section you just have to sit down before you lift them as much as you can .

Some other things I found out when I was researching the topic are:
- for a vaginal birth, having epidural does not increase your chances of 3rd degree tear, in fact a recent study found that incidences of 3rd/4th degree tears were fewer in a large group of women who had sections ( I didn't have epidural)
- Lying on your side during pushing stage helps reduce risk of tear
- standing or sitting increases risk of tear
Many people were off the opinion ' why would you ask for definite surgery and all the risks involved, when you could have a vaginal birth and there is only a 10% risk that you would need surgery".



Nobody can tell you what to do, the consultants will tell you that it is your decision. There is no right or wrong one. If you have any questions just send me a private message, I would be happy to answer them as best I can. Good luck with it.

December2012

I had an elective section and my recovery was great. Kept on top of my pain medication, was able to breast feed and to play with my nearly 3 year old.

Das Kitty

I would add, that the sensation of a c-section is gross. It's not painful but it's actually verging on a horrible feeling. The sewing up takes around 40 minutes after the baby is born. Be prepared for that if that's your decision.

highly1111

I had a horrific first labour and ended up with forceps and a 3rd degree tear too. 4 layers of stitches and I was in bits. However my second baby practically flew out - couldn't have asked for a better delivery. Not one tear, stitch etc. I've never had a section and I understand your concern. However, a midwife told me at the time of my eldest - you only have your first labour once - basically the worst is over. My advice would be to opt to try and go naturally. However as others have said its completely your decision. Just wanted to share my experience. I also just had my 3rd and was another lovely delivery (as lovely as they can be!!)

lazygal

Das Kitty wrote: »

I would add, that the sensation of a c-section is gross. It's not painful but it's actually verging on a horrible feeling. The sewing up takes around 40 minutes after the baby is born. Be prepared for that if that's your decision.

I didn't find this at all. The anesthetic covered any sensation down there apart from tugging the baby out. I was so focused on looking at the baby I didn't really pay any attention to what went on behind the screen.

Das Kitty

lazygal wrote: »

I didn't find this at all. The anesthetic covered any sensation down there apart from tugging the baby out. I was so focused on looking at the baby I didn't really pay any attention to what went on behind the screen.

Hopefully it was to do with the fact that it was after a long labour and they needed to use a spinal block rather than the epidural so. That would be great not to feel so mucky this time.

lazygal

Das Kitty wrote: »

Hopefully it was to do with the fact that it was after a long labour and they needed to use a spinal block rather than the epidural so. That would be great not to feel so mucky this time.

Yeah, mine was elective and I had a spinal block in theatre. I found the whole thing absolutely fine - I did hear that an elective without the stress of labour beforehand means a better experience and recovery though.

Das Kitty

lazygal wrote: »

Yeah, mine was elective and I had a spinal block in theatre. I found the whole thing absolutely fine - I did hear that an elective without the stress of labour beforehand means a better experience and recovery though.

Here's hoping!

The sensation of him being pulled back up the birth canal is not one I think I'll ever forget. :eek:

lazygal

Best of luck. Most people I know found elective recovery much better than emergency.

Hannibal Smith

lazygal wrote: »

I didn't find this at all. The anesthetic covered any sensation down there apart from tugging the baby out. I was so focused on looking at the baby I didn't really pay any attention to what went on behind the screen.

You're lucky! I was totally unprepared for the sensation of my first section and it freaked me out no end....I nearly puked. I felt everything from the being unzipped sensation, to the rummaging. They were both emergency sections and I remember when they brought me in for the second one I was shaking like a leaf. All the staff were like 'how come you're so nervous you've been through this before'. I remembered what it was like!

Any how op...I would go through all of it again. The recovery was fantastic. ..I was a bit sick (and itchy) from the morphine and staying in recovery while your baby is up in the ward is hard. But the next day you're up and about better than some of the others

Das Kitty

I threw up on my face. :pac:

I remember the surgeon telling me that it would feel like she was searching through a big handbag and stuffing everything back in after... and that I was the handbag. I think it was a very accurate description!

They don't part you from your baby in UCHG (unless you're under GA for it). I did find it a bit weird that they let us (ladies hopped up on so many drugs we stopped counting) take care of a newborn though. I even had mine in the bed with me and I was out for the count.

2xj3hplqgsbkym

Das Kitty wrote: »

I threw up on my face. :pac:

I remember the surgeon telling me that it would feel like she was searching through a big handbag and stuffing everything back in after... and that I was the handbag. I think it was a very accurate description!

They don't part you from your baiby in UCHG (unless you're under GA for it). I did find it a bit weird that they let us (ladies hopped up on so many drugs we stopped counting) take care of a newborn though. I even had mine in the bed with me and I was out for the count.

That's exactly what my surgeon said too, must be something they learn in surgeon school!

I also had baby asleep in bed with me, coudn't stay awake with all the drugs, was trying to breastfeed and second baby so think they kind of let me away with it.

Hannibal Smith

Das Kitty wrote: »

I threw up on my face. :pac:

I remember the surgeon telling me that it would feel like she was searching through a big handbag and stuffing everything back in after... and that I was the handbag. I think it was a very accurate description!

They don't part you from your baby in UCHG (unless you're under GA for it). I did find it a bit weird that they let us (ladies hopped up on so many drugs we stopped counting) take care of a newborn though. I even had mine in the bed with me and I was out for the count.

Gah! Thats EXACTLY what its like!!!! I didn't get to hold either of them till after recovery. The second guy was funny. ..the doctor held him over the screen and he spat all over me...then she dropped him lol

The first guy they kept all the first night...but the second guy I had all night. I had to change him on the bed. I think I had to buzz when I was ready to feed him but can't remember

aniwa

Thank you for all the stories. The comparison to searching for something in a bag just made my stomach turn.. I can only imagine how weird and uncomfortable this must feel.
Until yesterday the c-section was the last option for me. But now I am really confused. I guess it's a risk either way: difficult recovery after another tear or c-section. Or perhaps none of these at all!
My first labour made me realize how little control we have over our bodies. I thought I was strong enough to deliver the baby myself and then was so dissapointed that I couldn't do it. If I go with the c-section then maybe I could at least prepare mentaly for this.
Because all that experience and problems with breastfeeding that I had at the start, until this day I associate the early motherhood mostly with loads of tears and pain.
It took me a while to see the light in the tunnel and now I love my baby more than anything. I just hope that whatever delivery I have I won't have to go through that emotional rollercoster again.

dublinlady

I had a section and had a 15 month old at home. Writing this off phone so apologies if its bitty!!
The section itself was a doddle - both times ( 1st was section due to breech) I didn't mind the sensation and even found it all intriguing..!! I have to say tho second time I was much more scared as knew what to expect more and I did have a little cry before they started.. And during...!! But it really was ok - zero pain during procedure - literally just pressure as if someone was pressing on my belly!

I hated the recovery - birth times. I know alot of ppl find it easy but I didn't. I found it incredibly sore and upsetting. I found it very difficult as couldnt Lift eldest - they say for 6 weeks - I did 3, then started lifting her cos I couldn't help myself and my offers of full time help were running out - because of that ended up with uterine infection and a delay with healing - I had some pain until 9 weeks after. First time with no lifting it was more like 3 weeks. Saying that by 11 weeks I felt so completely fine I started jogging again. Been great since. My 15 month old could not understand why I wasn't lifting her tho and that was distressing! We got through it tho and I know she has zero recollection and is no way scarred by the experience - adores her little sis and I lift her over my head & tickle now to compensate for any lost time

I feel very upset I never got to have a natural birth and whilst both mine were "elective sections" I'd never have chosen them. Saying that if I'd had a horrible labour experience maybe I would have. The recovery was just awful - but if the recovery from the natural birth involved awful tearing and discomfort it might be much of a muchness. Then it's just up to the individual which they feel better emotionally prepared to deal with. The sections were ok but I'm just sad I missed my chance - I tried for natural on second but went 12. Days over & that was all they'd really let me. Now it's a definite section for the future - which really has put me off more children for now even tho I always wanted 4. I couldn't deal with the recovery again any time soon.

Basically u do what's best for u at the time - but a section is hard on older siblings and on you, just bear that in mind. But everyone gets over it so long as everyone's healthy - and that's what's most important!

dublinlady

Meant to add
Having a section in no way made breastfeeding difficult - in fact all u can do Is sit on ur ass so its perfect!!! I had no delay in milk coming Etc with either section - 1 at 39 and one at 42 weeks

pwurple

Just to add, my friend had an elective section after a very difficult first birth and she said it was like night and day. First birth was traumatic, didn't know what was going on, didn't know was baby ok, blood everywhere, all very frightening, recovery was a nightmare.

Elective section was a whole different experience. She was brought into her room beforehand and given a chance to unpack her things and get settled for an hour or so. Then off for the section, all very calm, controlled and relaxed. She knew exactly what was going on, husband was there, no crazy alarms were going off. She didn't feel a thing apart from a bit of pulling, and healed fine afterwards. She said the experience was worlds apart and she would have an elective again in a heartbeat.

Das Kitty

Yep. The big draw for me as well is knowing that when they wheel me in, 10 minutes later my son will be delivered and 40 minutes after that I'll be on the postnatal ward.

My son nearly died on my first birth, and I was so out of it I didn't realise or possibly even care a huge amount.

Before I had him, I was adamant I was having a natural birth. Funny how things go!

I also had no problem with milk coming in (in fact I've had colostrum since 7 weeks pregnant this go).

aniwa

It's good to read that the c-section doesn't affect the milk supply. I swear I read it in one of the pregnancy books. One thing less to worry about. Although I am aware that many other things may affect it anyway.
And how long do you stay in a hospital after the section? And do they book you in before the 40th week?

lazygal

My supply was slow coming in. I don't know if it was because of the section but it was an issue for me. However, I managed to work through it (incredibly difficult and more difficult than recovery from the section) and breastfed with some formula until my child turned one, when she self weaned. I was in for five nights, but if I have another section I'll ask to be discharged earlier if everything is okay. I understand informally that you can be allowed home after three/four nights if there's nothing untoward going on.

Das Kitty

It depends on the hospital when they will book you in, the policy in mine is 39 weeks. They keep you for 5 nights after, but you can check out sooner if all is going well. I stayed 4 nights last time. I would be inclined to aim for the same or shorter this time.

The midwife will come out to remove your staples if you go home early.

lazygal

I had dissolvable stitches last time. They were gone after about 10 days.

Ms2011

aniwa wrote: »

It's good to read that the c-section doesn't affect the milk supply. I swear I read it in one of the pregnancy books. One thing less to worry about. Although I am aware that many other things may affect it anyway.
And how long do you stay in a hospital after the section? And do they book you in before the 40th week?

I hate to be a downer but just to say I hadn't a drop of milk until 3-4 days after my section, wish someone had warned me about this as I thought there was something wrong.

xzanti

I had to have an emergency section.. I was induced that morning.. all fine, waters broke at around 4PM and they were full of meconium.. rushed down to the labour ward for oxytocin drip to speed things up and got my epidural straight away...

By around midnight I was only 1cm and my temperature was rising rapidly, it turned out the placenta was harbouring a nasty dose of Strep B and the induction had dispersed it..

They pumped me with antibiotics and rushed me to theatre for the section.. he was born at 1.30am covered in his own poo poor little lamb! We were told not to look at him when he came out could just hear him crying!

Baby was whipped away to be washed and weighed etc and I had to go to ICU for an hour to recover and wasn't allowed see him for ages.. felt like an eternity..

When I got to the ward and tried to sit up and hold him I got this almighty pain shoot up my neck and into my head.. turned out the epidural had gone wrong and there was an airlock left in my spine.. this wasn't diagnosed for 2 days after the birth, so I was crippled with headaches for the 2 days..

The wound itself was quite sore for the first few days.. especially if I coughed or sneezed.. but by the time they took out the stitch it didn't feel too bad at all.. and it healed pretty well.. I was back on my feet and out walking the baby within a few days of being released from Hospital.

I didn't find the feeling of having the section too bad tbh.. I was pretty out of it.. but the sensation of the wound itself was a weird feeling for me.. every time I moved and could feel it.. it almost triggered a baby blues-ey sort of feeling.. if that makes any sense.. don't ask why but it lasted about 2 weeks..

If I was going to have another baby I would opt for a C Section, I wouldn't want to risk another botched labour.. but at least I could be prepared it this time.. also, we had to stay in for a full week so and that he and I could be treated for the Strep B.

Hats off to the Rotunda though, I can't fault them, they were fantastic.

aniwa

Hi Girls,

Thanks again for your stories and advice. I took them all under consideration and did some more research and I feel like the c-section is not for me, unless there will be a good reason for it. I am just afraid of the complications and difficult recovery that will not allow me to care for the newborn and the toddler. I'll try to trust my body again, hopefully this time it will be stronger and better prepared for the labor.
Keep your fingers crossed for me in November

Thanks and all the best!

wmpdd3

I tore badly on my first, for many reasons that I am now aware of. I feel I was rushed between dips etc. baby was only 6 pounds so I don't think size was an issue.

On my second, the labour was very quick and I was convinced it would happen all over again but I did not tear at all.

It was so odd, 15 mins after birth I was in the shower and it was if I had never been pregnant.

There are 15 months between mine and this is the reason I was given for such an easy labour.

aniwa

wmpdd3 wrote: »

I tore badly on my first, for many reasons that I am now aware of. I feel I was rushed between dips etc. baby was only 6 pounds so I don't think size was an issue.

On my second, the labour was very quick and I was convinced it would happen all over again but I did not tear at all.

It was so odd, 15 mins after birth I was in the shower and it was if I had never been pregnant.

There are 15 months between mine and this is the reason I was given for such an easy labour.

Wow, that sounds great, there's hoping!

wolfpawnat

I had a very hard first birth with my son. An emergency section, with a nasty enough scar. I was out of bed the same day, but that is not really the norm, I had nurses shooing me back in.

I was prepared for a second section with my second as the placenta was low all the way to the 36th week, but it shifted then so they wanted me to go natural. When my waters broke I went to hospital and I was checked over, there was no movement labour wise other than the waters breaking. I was told they would keep me in 24 hours and see if I went into labour naturally. Because waiting around caused the problems with my son and I had to seek specialist confirmation there was no developmental issues with my son, I freaked out worrying about the same thing happening again. I demanded a consultant and begged for a section based on the previous birth and issues I faced. I was granted it. I was a lot longer recovering this time, 2 days bed ridden and I found it difficult looking after my daughter, though the nurses helped a lot. Getting her from her cot and the like. If you have an elective section, they keep you awake and you are given a chance to be with your child before you go to a recovery room without your child. Unless there is something wrong with the baby, they will not leave your side for the rest of your stay unless it is Mt Carmel, well in Dublin anyway.