creche disaster

scaryfairy

I am feeling terrible and really don't know what to do. My poor little baby has started creche almost 3 weeks ago and it's not going too well to put it mildly. He is 10.5 months old, at peak of his separation anxiety and never been a great sleeper. When he is with us, he is a very happy baby, very independent and usually manages 2 decent, or at least half decent naps (it's a bit of work but we usually manage).

I did 2 weeks of settling in with them, and this week he is there all day - I just started work yesterday. For what I gather, up until yesterday he was usually quite miserable, always wanting to be held. Apparently yesterday he had quite a bit of fun with the toys etc. They managed to put him down to sleep here and there for 30-50 minutes. But for the last 3 days he napped less than he would with me in one day, and today he didn't sleep at all! Like I said, he is not a great sleeper/napper, and I don't expect them to put as much effort as I would but for such young baby, this is really bad! At the beginning, he would fall asleep in one of the carers' arms, then they would put him down for his nap, but I think they stopped doing this, and only try to pat him to sleep which he for whatever reason doesn't comply with.

I am very concerned - he looks like a zombie when we pick him up. Does this happen frequently? As far as I am concerned, his basic physical needs are not being met there. I was hoping to stick it out but feel so sorry for my poor baby! we don't have any relatives here that could help. I have started contacting childminders but couldn't find any around us (so far) + a bit scared of the whole thing.

Moonbeam

I would give him more time and if it doesn't work out maybe get a childminder where he can have 1 on 1 care in a less busy environment.
When my baby started creche @8/9 months the seperation anxiety was worse for me then her.
Does he get alot of attention at home?is he always up in arms?Is he hard to settle?
What do the creche staff say about him?
It is so hard being a parent at times:(

pwurple

Naps can be hard for them to adjust to. Is there any sleep aid you can give them to help? Mine has a small blanket and a teddy bear we use at bedtime which we gave to creche (and got another ourselves).

addob

pwurple's suggestion is the same as mine, my little boy has a bunny that he's completely attached to and we have two (not that he knows) one at home and one at the creche. As soon as he sees it he knows it's sleep time. It's also helpful when he was really upset at the beginning of his creche induction as it was a little bit of home.

It's so hard at the beginning!

scaryfairy

thanks so much for your responses - today they tried 3x, and as a result he had 3 mini naps... (15mins or so)
not great! He doesn't have a lovey, although I have tried introducing one for a while but to no avail. Interestingly, he started using the slumber bear silk blankie as a sort of comforter in creche (I gave them everything I meant to be a comforter/lovey, he was used to having them around, but hadn't shown any interest previously), but not so much for sleeping. He has his sleep cues (book, sleeping bag and bit of lullaby) but they don't work in creche.
Moonbeam: he doesn't want to be held at all at home, he loves being on the floor and "attacks" everything that is not a toy . He is very happy and independent. Apparently he is now a lot happier in creche on the floor, seeking out toys, approaching other babies etc, just doesn't want/cannot sleep. He is like a zombie. Cannot really fault the creche, I spent quite a bit of time there during the settling in (2 weeks) period, saw staff in action and I don't think you can get much better care in any other creche. My LO might just not be ready for all this action. Don't know. i have been looking at other options, most attractive seems to be a live out nanny but don't think we could afford one. I feel so sorry for him.

dharma200

As a mother of three kids, all of them were in crèche, my advise to you is just give it time... Even us adults when we start a new career job our sleeping times get messed up.... He will be just fine and he will settle and adapt and get used to it all, perhaps he is at a stage where the naps are getting phased out, the stimulation in the crèche means they will fight nap and sleep.... I know it can be an anxious time but your wee fella will be just fine, you're little one is well ready for the action, perhaps it's you that isn't give it six months, don't fret and the routine will fall in place x hts

2xj3hplqgsbkym

Oh you poor thing. Not a chance my 10 month old would sleep for someone in a crèche, luckily I am not in that situation. Personally I would much prefer a child minder, I think it would be so much easier for baby to sleep. Give it another two weeks but look for a child minder in the mean time, try rollercoaster or put an add in your local supermarket.

scaryfairy

dharma200 wrote: »

As a mother of three kids, all of them were in crèche, my advise to you is just give it time... Even us adults when we start a new career job our sleeping times get messed up.... He will be just fine and he will settle and adapt and get used to it all, perhaps he is at a stage where the naps are getting phased out, the stimulation in the crèche means they will fight nap and sleep.... I know it can be an anxious time but your wee fella will be just fine, you're little one is well ready for the action, perhaps it's you that isn't give it six months, don't fret and the routine will fall in place x hts

thanks you are very kind. problem is he is too young to phase out naps. He just gone down for a nap at home. He needs them just fights them...

scaryfairy

Guadalupe Repulsive Sty wrote: »

Oh you poor thing. Not a chance my 10 month old would sleep for someone in a crèche, luckily I am not in that situation. Personally I would much prefer a child minder, I think it would be so much easier for baby to sleep. Give it another two weeks but look for a child minder in the mean time, try rollercoaster or put an add in your local supermarket.

thanks that's what I am trying to do. Problem is, our rented appartment happens to be in an affluent area (which we are not ), and everybody seems to be looking for nannies/childminders, but nobody locally doing this sort of activity. It doesn't help that I don't have a licence so if my husband is away, and he travels a lot, then I am in a pickle. Silly me.

poconnor16

Hi OP - have you asked to get some time with them to sit down and really relay your concerns? I find sometimes when I am worried over something, you dont really get time to address it on drop off or pick up because it is such a busy time.
I think you will feel better knowing that you concerns are being listened to fully, and maybe you could agree an action plan with one of the carers with regard to his sleep? Maybe asking if the same person could do his sleep routine until he gets the hang of it himself? And asking them to really use the routine? I know they have other kids to care for as well but this is just a temporary measure until he settles.
It does take a while for them to get settled apparently...I've been having an awful trial with creche with our 8 month old (he's been very sick and we've been called out of work a lot) so I know how stressed out you must be. Its very tough

scaryfairy

oh I talked to them a couple of times. They are very open and nice but they seem to have accepted that that's the way it is now, D won't sleep. They don't have time for bedtime routines, I think with most babies they can just put them down awake with their sleep aid (blankie, book, some noisy toy whatever) and leave them to it.
Today he had 2 half decent naps and the difference is just huge: he is tired, but good tired in the evening, and again went to sleep without a fight.
I have beeen calling some nannies/childminders to be and it seems that it will be difficult but maybe not impossible to find somebody good.

How Strange

The staff in our creche stroke their backs to get them to sleep. I think their attitude on this speaks volumes. Surely reassuring young babies/toddlers at nap time is part of their job.

scaryfairy

in fairness they do try with him too - not the routine, but patting his little back to the rythm of heartbeat. It seemed to have worked at the beginning but not anymore (funnily enough he seems to like it at home!).

sorry I must have misrepresented them - what I meant to say is that "leaving them to it" in the cotroom for some/most of those babies works, they don't let them cry or sth, those babies are just OK to go down awake.

I think I cannot really blame them for him not sleeping there, I think it just doesn't suit him at this stage - maybe in a few months, don't know. There is one thing that did annoy me though: they decided that he no longer needs to fall asleep in arms (which he doesn't do at home, but that was the only way he would fall asleep in the creche at first), but can go down awake so they only do back patting. Obviously it stopped working, and D didn't nap for 3 days but they didn't try falling asleep in arms, even though they admitted that it usually works within a couple of minutes! I also prefer going down awake but sleep he needs, it's a must at his age! poor little fella.

Glowing

If it helps, my little one went through an awful stage around ten months where she was so difficult to put down for naps. It was a nightmare. Its a developmental thing I think. Just be patient, as he approaches 11 months, something should click, and he should settle down a little. It will also take time for the creche workers to get to know him and find out what works. He'll get there. My little one is weaning into creche at the moment, and I feel your pain, it's so hard

My baby went ballistic btw when they tried to get her to nap in their cot (she is 11.5 months) - so they have to resort to bouncing her in a bouncer until she falls asleep, then they carry the whole thing into the cot room. Not ideal, but sleep is sleep!

scaryfairy

oh Glowing it sounds hard alright! but great that the bouncer works! bless her
but as far as we are concerned, we have made up our minds: we are taking him out. He spent 3 days with me at home (at the moment I work Mo-Thurs only), we went down for all his naps no problem, slept OK at night, and was overall v happy. So he is not the "doesn't sleep at all" type". Monday at creche: no sleep at all, zombi baby and really upset.
Looks like we found a lovely CM, lovely house, great environment. Hubby taking today off and stays with him at home. and starting the settling process with CM tomorrow. If doesn't work, don't know, will fly in my mum from home and get her look after him till we find a nanny of some sort. Cannot do this to him any longer