Wasted time in UL

ulzer

Hi, just wondering if any went thru something similar or has some advice

basically ive never managed to really make friends in ul and live the college life, ever since i first started. i never made the effort as i was full sure i'd be moving course, so i didnt want to try make friends in the one i was in. things didnt turn out and im still in the same course, but it was too late then as clicks had been made and i stuck around with who i knew first day, which were people who id known from before college. dont get me wrong, i do have friend in ul but most would be ppl from before.

i dont live on campus so i felt over the last 3 yrs that i havent really been apart of college, i never went out, never even did the whole one night stand thing, and am starting to regret it a bit now and wishing i could go back and start over.

you could say it was like a jail sentence, i did my time (lectures etc) and went straight home.

has anyone had a similar experience and can feel where im comin from? or has anyone advice for me to change?

ninty9er

Join a club/society in week 1. Simplest solution.

Cosmicfox

I kind of know what you're going though since I sort of did the same for my first year just there. I didn't really click with anyone in my course(They are nice though, don't get me wrong) except for one girl who dropped out and I just felt on the edge of things. I had acquaintances I'd hang round with but they were on different courses.

My housemates were mostly international students who were older and only stayed until Christmas, replaced by more Americans who were nice but I didn't see much of them.

The last 2 months I was just going to lectures, studying and sleeping. I'm going into 2nd year now and I'm not looking forward to it tbh...

I did join clubs but got too panicked when it came to going to the first meeting or event so I ended up doing nothing basically. I tried the on campus counselling service where they told me that I have social anxiety but I don't think it helped that much. It might work better for you though and it's free.

ulzer

Cosmicfox wrote: »

I kind of know what you're going though since I sort of did the same for my first year just there. I didn't really click with anyone in my course(They are nice though, don't get me wrong) except for one girl who dropped out and I just felt on the edge of things. I had acquaintances I'd hang round with but they were on different courses.

My housemates were mostly international students who were older and only stayed until Christmas, replaced by more Americans who were nice but I didn't see much of them.

The last 2 months I was just going to lectures, studying and sleeping. I'm going into 2nd year now and I'm not looking forward to it tbh...

I did join clubs but got too panicked when it came to going to the first meeting or event so I ended up doing nothing basically. I tried the on campus counselling service where they told me that I have social anxiety but I don't think it helped that much. It might work better for you though and it's free.

good to see im not alone in a way!

i dont have social anxiety, i think my problem is generally laziness and getting into ruts at home. i have a bad tendency to be too relaxed and just let things fly by me.

i think ill definitely take the clubs suggestion!

Mikel91

Honestly Clubs and Societies are the way to go. The vast majority of the friends I've made in UL have been through Clubs & Socs (Both within C&S and outside it i.e. Meeting people through people). You have another year left so you've plenty of time to make a good few buddies! Just make sure to go to Clubs/Societies trips and events as that's how members end up bonding. You may feel a bit shy or nervous but honestly there is no need! People tend to be ridiculously friendly! Even if your no good at what the Club or soc does it doesn't really matter.

You don't need to worry about who you lived with or your class really (Although it can help). Honestly while I had a fantastic time in first year and made quite a good few friends around Plassey I'd now seldom see them now as most people are doing their own things. My class never really mixed too much till second year (Besides the girls) and even when we did a bit, besides the odd class party I'd mostly do my own thing.

All you've got to do is throw yourself out there and join a few Clubs and Socs as people said. If you do that you're going to have a ball of a time. It may feel awkward but honestly it's not! So g'wan and enjoy your finale year! You'll have a great time

p.s. I gotta throw out the Boarders / Surf Club name. The Club is full of some of the nicest and most friendliest people you'd ever meet! Great bunch of lads and lassies who make sure that all the members feel included!

Chavways

DEFINITELY join a club or society or even try a few. You'll make loads of new friends straight away. I know it'll be daunting meeting loads of new people at once but the first time will be the worst and after a few weeks you'll be having a great time with them.

ynwa14

This is what I'm afraid of like, my social anxiety stopping me from making friends/getting involved in things I'm so nervous about it

ninty9er

Someone should set up an Awkward and Anxious Society. Membership on an opt-out basis :pac:

wnolan1992

ninty9er wrote: »

Someone should set up an Awkward and Anxious Society. Membership on an opt-out basis :pac:

I'd be the Kim Jong Il of that society...



The permanent leader part, not the genocide and communism part.

In hindsight, I could have used a better analogy. Now I feel all awkward and anxious that people won't get that joke.

Slovakia2013

you must have done some form of group work in the course, this is an easy way to get to know people. all in the same boat working for the same reason? this is a good way also to get to know people!