Lone parent living at home!

gokogo

Hi, newbie here so hope I've posted this in the right place!!

I'm a 25 year old single parent to a 5 year old boy. I live at home with my parents as I struggled with pn depression for 3 years after having my son and was incredibly lucky to have them there for all that time. It's only in the last 2 years that I'm getting my act together and and have recently hit a bit of a rough spot.
I am in receipt of One Parent Family payment from the welfare, I have tried incredibly hard to get myself back to work, recently completed an internship with jobbridge which meant I have worked full time for the last year for an extra 50quid a week and honestly didnt mind when I thought I was getting a job out of it but unfortunately the company I was interning with had no place for me!!
So now I'm back at square one! I live in a rural place which means I have great need of my car which costs on average 60quid a week to run (including tax&insurance) I also have to pay rent to my parents (understandably) as they were both out of work until recently and have huge mortage arrears, so I pay 130 a week to them! which leaves me with 27euro a week to pay various other bills (5year old boys are expensive!!).
My problem is this: I dont know how to start standing on my own two feet!! I could move out but to do that I would need to get rent allowance and have to rent for six months before being eligible which is completely out of the question, I am on the council list but am way down the bottom of the list because I am not in "dire" need of a house (the socials words not mine), I cant get a job anywhere and am not eligible for any help with my rent because i live at home!!
I understand that nobody will have a magical solution to my problems but am hoping that somebody will be able to give me a bit of advice, maybe you have been in a similar situation?!? I really want to make a life and a home for myself and my son, I just don't know where to start
Anyway thanks for taking the time to read this (long winded, I know) and please reply with any helpful comments you may have!!

Big Bag of Chips

For a start €130 a week to your parents sounds extortionate! I understand they are in mortgage arrears, and I may get slated for saying this... But that is not your problem!

The cynic in me would think that they are taking every penny you have to keep you at home. It's obviously better for them if you are at home, and they have an "income" from you than if you moved out, and stopped giving them money.

Can you try negotiate a fairer amount with your parents, that will allow you to start saving even a small bit. Enough for a deposit on your own place.

Basically you are not in 'dire need' of a house because you are not homeless.

Starting out to stand on your own two feet will always be a struggle. Made tougher by unemployment and being a single parent.

Maybe arrange a meeting with your community welfare officer who will be able to advise you on what entitlements you might be eligible for. Social Welfare aren't known for "volunteering" that information to people.

Sorry I can't offer more advice, but I wish you well. It's admirable that you want to get out of the rut you are in. It will be tough at first, but should get easier over time.

gokogo

Thanks for replying!
I understand what your saying about the rent to my folks but that also covers my food and utility bills, does it still seem unfair?
Thanks anyway :-)

Big Bag of Chips

I don't know! I honestly don't!! I know you're an adult, and should be standing on your own two feet, but I'd still think that your parents should be trying their best to help you.

As it stands, you have no hope of bettering yourself, or moving out...

I honestly don't know

gokogo

Depressing huh?? :-(
Thanks anyway, I think :-/

gokogo

gokogo wrote: »

Thanks for replying!
I understand what your saying about the rent to my folks but that also covers my food and utility bills, does it still seem unfair?
Thanks anyway :-)

In a word - YES - it is way over the top. My adult children each contribute €50 a week. I wouldn't expect any more. My bills are my problem, not theirs.
That is the big downside of the JobBridge internships. They give vulnerable people false hope, in order to get them to work harder, then pull the rug from under them. I know exactly how you are feeling.
Could I suggest you contact someone like St Vincent dePaul? They can be very helpful in situations like yours. They are very discreet and professional.

Big Bag of Chips

Have a chat with the CWO, and keeping knocking on doors handing out CVs.

Do you get any maintenance for your son?

gokogo

Nope his father fecked off a few years ago, he was ordered by the court to pay maintenance of 20euro a week but didn't pay and guards have no address for him to issue a warrant, long story short no!
I could go back to court but that's just another adding another problem to a big list of them and all for 20quid a week!

It's possibly too late for this year, but could you get Back to Education Allowance? Speak to the Adult Education person at your local VEC, or inquire in local Institutes of Technology - eg LIT, in Limerick/Tipperary.

gokogo

I have been thinking of going back to education, my son is starting school this year though so he is main priority at the moment, but thats a great idea, thanks :-)

vitani

Definitely head over to the CWO and have a chat. Are you absolutely sure that you can't get rent allowance? My understanding is that you're eligible after six months in private rented accommodation OR you've been assessed as being in need of housing. It may vary depending on what area you're in, but your CWO should be able to advise you.

The internship situation is tough, but at least you got a year of experience out of it, so don't give up hope on the job situation just yet.

I was where you are about eighteen months ago, internship and all. Now I'm working full-time and have made a good start at saving up for my own place. It might seem hopeless now but the situation won't last forever.

Jessica-Rabbit

gokogo wrote: »

Hi, newbie here so hope I've posted this in the right place!!

I'm a 25 year old single parent to a 5 year old boy. I live at home with my parents as I struggled with pn depression for 3 years after having my son and was incredibly lucky to have them there for all that time. It's only in the last 2 years that I'm getting my act together and and have recently hit a bit of a rough spot.
I am in receipt of One Parent Family payment from the welfare, I have tried incredibly hard to get myself back to work, recently completed an internship with jobbridge which meant I have worked full time for the last year for an extra 50quid a week and honestly didnt mind when I thought I was getting a job out of it but unfortunately the company I was interning with had no place for me!!
So now I'm back at square one! I live in a rural place which means I have great need of my car which costs on average 60quid a week to run (including tax&insurance) I also have to pay rent to my parents (understandably) as they were both out of work until recently and have huge mortage arrears, so I pay 130 a week to them! which leaves me with 27euro a week to pay various other bills (5year old boys are expensive!!).
My problem is this: I dont know how to start standing on my own two feet!! I could move out but to do that I would need to get rent allowance and have to rent for six months before being eligible which is completely out of the question, I am on the council list but am way down the bottom of the list because I am not in "dire" need of a house (the socials words not mine), I cant get a job anywhere and am not eligible for any help with my rent because i live at home!!
I understand that nobody will have a magical solution to my problems but am hoping that somebody will be able to give me a bit of advice, maybe you have been in a similar situation?!? I really want to make a life and a home for myself and my son, I just don't know where to start
Anyway thanks for taking the time to read this (long winded, I know) and please reply with any helpful comments you may have!!

Have you tired a fas course, like beauty therapy, there is always work available in this area and they offer work placement, you might get a job at the end of it. It might not be something you have much interest in but it could help you get back on your feet. Or you could try a gel nails or acrylic nails course, there is plenty of work in these fields and you could work mobile or from home, I know you said you live in a rural area, but are there any local pubs in your area, if so it would be a good place to advertise yourself.
You could ask your parents to lower the rent as 130 euro is a huge sum of money a week. That 520 a month, you could rent in the city for that amount. You could look into rent allowance because if you want to get back on your feet then you could look into moving out.
I know fas used to offer rent allowance on course's if you have to move from home.
You should have a look at the social welfare website and find out what is available to you.

Best of Luck op xx

ash23

I'm not sure how much rent is in your area but about 5 years ago I was earning about 24k per annum, renting a house for €700 per month and paying childcare of €325 per month. Plus running a car.

Now, it was very very difficult. Extraordinarily so. But it lasted a couple of years and I began earning more, rents came down a bit and things are a lot better for myself and my daughter.

At the time Family Income Supplement was a godsend. I also had single parent tax credits and because I lived close to work, petrol costs were minimal. I had a strict budget and counted every penny. I also had a medical card.

I don't think that paying €150 for rent, food and utilities for two people is extortionate. But I don't think it's really making it easier to just live at home. You'd be as broke if you were working full time but at least you'd be in your own place and making a start towards a better future.

Were they minding your child while you did the FAS course? Would they be available to childmind if you were to return to work full time?

I would recommend trying to avoid rent allowance if possible. It really creates a massive welfare trap where it just stops being worth working because the rent allowance is decimated by practically every euro you earn.

Even if you worked part time, over 19 hours, you would still be able to retain some of your one parent family allowance and claim FIS to bring you up to a decent enough level of earning.

*of course if you live somewhere that rent is prohibitively expensive, this might not be a possibility.

Sunny Dayz

Hi OP,

I was in a similar position to yourself in the past, living at home being a single parent.
Just wondering if you are receiveing enough assistance from social welfare - do you get jobseekers allowance as well as one parent family allowance? I did a quick tot and thought you would get getting a bit more? Mind you, I maybe wrong but definitely a visit to a CWO should put you on the right track. Also make sure yourself and your son both hold medical cards. I think the school clothing/book allowance is still about, or have the Govt got rid of that yet? Now that your son is starting school, you have your mornings free to try to get something from that.

I was lucky that my mum minded my young fella while I completed my degree but I obviously couldn't get jobseekers. And I was lucky to get a full time job after but this was in the boom times though. We muddled along, wasn't an easy 9 years or so but now life is good!

Ms. Pingui

Hi op, like you I am a single mother living with my parents and I understand how tough that can be.
I would love to move out but financially it is impossible at the moment. I'm starting a college course this week and when I finish my degree in 3 years time, hopefully I will be able to get a decent job and sort myself out then.
Telling myself that I will be out of this situation in the next few years is what is keeping me going at the moment!
If you are able to at all I think another course or some kind of training is the way to go. It is the only way to truly gain financial independence. It might take a while but the prospect of a better future will definitely be a light at the end of the tunnel.
I also think you are giving your parents an awful lot of money. Maybe try to negotiate with them? They are definitely making the process of sorting your life out more difficult by essentially leaving you with nothing.
Best of luck .