Wednesday 'Uns

MonkieSocks

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of petrol.

As luck would have it,a Petrol station was just a block away..


She walked to the station to borrow a petrol can and buy some petrol.


The attendant told her that the only petrol can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.


Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.


She looked for something in her car that she could fill with petrol and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient.


Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with petrol, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.


As she was pouring the petrol into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street.


One of them turned to the other and said,'If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.'!!


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Three old men were talking about how much their hands shook.


The first old guy said, "My hands shake so bad, that when I shaved his morning, I cut my face."


The second old fogey one-upped him and said, "My hands shake so bad, that when I trimmed my garden yesterday, I sliced all my flowers."


The third old man laughed and said, "That's nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times


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A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch.


He picks it up and throws it across the street.


A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch.


The snail looks up and says, "What the fook was that all about?":mad: