Death Cafe

LadyMayBelle

Looking for advice here.

I've long been tossing about the idea of facilitating one of these. Just so happens that the UK originator lives round the corner from me (only discovered this recently!).

What do you think? There are guidelines of course; my biggest concern would be that despite it being explicily advertised as NOT A bereavement support group we'd get a few amblers.

It's an idea that excites me.

Here are some links:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/never-say-die-far-from-it-in-paris-death-caf233-2121850.html

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/the-death-cafe-movement-tea-and-mortality-8082399.html

Iano_128

Why?

LadyMayBelle

Iano_128 wrote: »

Why?

Why Im asking for advice? In case anyone here has experienced one as part of 'expanding their horizons' , I would very much value peoples experiences or comments, dont think there's harm in that, or maybe I misjudged the purpose of the forum? Apologies if so

Why am I excited? Because I think it is an area perhaps neglected somewhat and it seems to have gotten rather good feedback so far..

Any other whys?

Iano_128

Sorry my why was pretty unclear! My bad! My why was: I've never heard of death cafe's before, so when I saw this I looked them up and can't help but wonder why somebody would want to sit around and discuss death for a few hours, it seems like a pretty morbid and depressing way to spend an afternoon, why not have a life cafe where you all sit around and talk about how amazing life is instead?

LadyMayBelle

Iano_128 wrote: »

Sorry my why was pretty unclear! My bad! My why was: I've never heard of death cafe's before, so when I saw this I looked them up and can't help but wonder why somebody would want to sit around and discuss death for a few hours, it seems like a pretty morbid and depressing way to spend an afternoon, why not have a life cafe where you all sit around and talk about how amazing life is instead?

Ha, I can see what youre saying. I can say that having worked in palliative and bereavement care it can actually be incredibly liberating to speak openly about death, dying, ritual, etc (again, very separate from a bereavement support group). It starts by normalising death; after all, it's something that we all have in common!

Im also part of the Action for Happiness group (ironically!) where yes, we do have small groups and meetings that celebrate life, living, giving, goal setting and charity etc but oddly enough death creeps into those conversations too! It's probably a lot to do with the concept of a 'good death'.

And there is cake, nom. I understand it's not for everyone, but it's sort of dusting off an taboo topic and having an open chat about it all.

Iano_128

LadyMayBelle wrote: »

Ha, I can see what youre saying. I can say that having worked in palliative and bereavement care it can actually be incredibly liberating to speak openly about death, dying, ritual, etc (again, very separate from a bereavement support group). It starts by normalising death; after all, it's something that we all have in common!

Im also part of the Action for Happiness group (ironically!) where yes, we do have small groups and meetings that celebrate life, living, giving, goal setting and charity etc but oddly enough death creeps into those conversations too! It's probably a lot to do with the concept of a 'good death'.

And there is cake, nom. I understand it's not for everyone, but it's sort of dusting off an taboo topic and having an open chat about it all.

Ah ok I get it a bit more now! What I had visualized in my head was a bunch of people sitting in a dark room with some candles all feeling very down about life talking about how death is coming for them etc! Yeah I suppose it is a very taboo topic and definitely not something that's openly discussed!

LadyMayBelle

Iano_128 wrote: »

Ah ok I get it a bit more now! What I had visualized in my head was a bunch of people sitting in a dark room with some candles all feeling very down about life talking about how death is coming for them etc! Yeah I suppose it is a very taboo topic and definitely not something that's openly discussed!

Hell no! I was thinking more like a sweet cafe with cakes and tea! Some have been held in parks, peoples homes, community halls, festical tents; endless possibiliies and not at all morbid and creepy

shane9689

whats there to talk about? you die and thats it, theres no coming back, theres no going foreward. short convo if you ask me lol

FueledbyCoffee

I think it's a fantastic idea. After my Mam's illness and death, I found a lot of people telling me it was okay to talk but seemed like they were a bit uncomfortable when I was talking about her deterioration and her subsequent death.
Then there would be the whole meeting strangers too who sometimes are easier to talk to and listen to as well. I think at this stage people who know me know I have had quite a few significant losses in a relatively short time and they are nearly afraid to mention death around me in case it upsets me.

endacl

LadyMayBelle wrote: »

Ha, I can see what youre saying. I can say that having worked in palliative and bereavement care it can actually be incredibly liberating to speak openly about death, dying, ritual, etc (again, very separate from a bereavement support group). It starts by normalising death; after all, it's something that we all have in common!

Im also part of the Action for Happiness group (ironically!) where yes, we do have small groups and meetings that celebrate life, living, giving, goal setting and charity etc but oddly enough death creeps into those conversations too! It's probably a lot to do with the concept of a 'good death'.

And there is cake, nom. I understand it's not for everyone, but it's sort of dusting off an taboo topic and having an open chat about it all.

What kind of cake?

InReality

I'd be interested in this sort of a group. and cake.

Any meetup groups like this around already ?