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Can Child Access be Delegated?

  • 04-09-2013 12:55am
    #1
    Humbird
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭


    Hi, I hope somebody can clarify a couple of points re access. I am primary carer per divorce terms, with my ex having excellent access which he insisted upon.
    a. He is now "delegating" his access and says that he can do this - e.g. he got court ordered holiday access 2 wks in July (which he took), plus a further 9 days holiday in August (he stayed with child for 5 of these days and had his girlfriend mind the child for 4 of the days when he went off somewhere).
    b. He also is now having his girlfriend or mother take up midweek access instead of him, he states that he has to travel abroad for work in order to pay maintenance (this is inaccurate as he is a wealthy man and he works hard to give him a great lifestyle ... however re maintenance, he is considerably in arrears).
    c. Child has school sports on Wednesdays for 1 hour directly after school. My ex (ie and his girlfriend/mother) are refusing to allow the child to participate in the school sports on the basis that it is "his" (my ex's) time to decide what the child does. The child is devestated not to be allowed participate with the other school friends.

    QUESTION: I would like to know if court ordered access for my Ex husband is HIS .... or is it HIS TO DELEGATE TO OTHERS. He states that it is his to delegate to whoever he wishes and that he doesn't have to be around for it. I thought the access should be for HIM, and for the child to see his girlfriend / mother / aunts/uncles ... while on HIS time ... but not when he has stated very clearly to me in a text that he doesn't intend to be around much .....

    This is a new court order that is in place given new circumstances (ie I moved from our home 4 hours away to be closer to my ex so that child-access arrangements could be easier and so that he could have mid-week access ... up till now it has been alternate weekends). So now it just seems to be that my move closer to my ex has been absolutely pointless because he is NOT seeing the child anyway, just offloading his access time to others.

    I would like to know if I am right or wrong in thinking that HIS court ordered access time is for HIM. Because he states clearly that his solicitor says he can delegate his access time to whoever he wants ....
    Who is right?

    The thing is that the child would prefer to stay with me on access days if his dad is going to be absent, rather than go to the girlfriends house and be put in front of the TV all evening.

    QUESTION TWO: Do I have any rights to insist that the child be allowed to participate in after-school sports which he wants to do (which are held on site, run by the school for one hour after classes end) .... or is my ex able to just say no, that HE decides what the child does on access days and he can insist that he takes the child from school at 2.30pm instead of allowing the child to join school sports and remain there till 3.30pm and then goes on access. Do I have rights to insist? My ex would gladly deprive our son of school sports just for the heck of it because he knows my heart breaks for my son because he can't join his classmates. Son in primary school, age 7.

    Advice? Please don't suggest I try to reason with my ex. He is not the reasonable type.
    Humbird


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Hi OP - welcome to the S&D forum. Please take some time to read our charter though, specifically
    NO LEGAL ADVICE

    We are not qualified nor permitted to give legal advice on this forum – do not ask for legal advice, please contact a solicitor. Any thread which crosses into legal advice will be locked.

    We have no choice therefore but to close this thread. Please seek your own legal advice and don't rely on what your ex is telling you his lawyer is advising him.
    Taltos


This discussion has been closed.
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