Hostel stays for couples- would you do it?

ireland.man

I'd be very interested to know what people think about this.

I'm thinking of doing some trips with my partner this Autumn in Europe and I've always loved staying in hostels. I'm thinking about asking her if she wants to spend some of the time staying in hostels while we go.

Of course I know it depends on whether both of us like hostels, etc, but I'd be interested to know if people here would enjoy/ be comfortable sleeping in dorm rooms once in a while with their significant other on holidays?

lc180

Not being nosey but what age range are you? Loads of young backpackers do it.

I've shared dorms a few times in Europe with married couples in their 40's and i always thought it was a bit..... strange.

Also one time in Canada I shared a dorm with a young French couple, they were both very comfort sharing a sleeping environment with strangers, waaaayyyy to comfortable if you catch my drift!

munchkin_utd

it depends.
Theres some hostels which are more like funky b+bs with double rooms and there are some hostels which are hovels with only dorms.

Heres a good example of a nice place in Berlin
http://baxpax.de/en/downtown/
or
http://baxpax.de/en/mitte/
And the one positive about many hostels is that they would have a nice lively bar with reasonable prices which is actually a positive over more expensive hotels who would have an expensive bar with a dead atmosphere.

I've been in some desperate places over the years which are the polar opposite to those berlin hostels.
And even the official hostel international places which are fine and clean, are just like a hospital ward at times.

If you can find a budget hotel like "Ibis Budget" or Formule 1 you have more or less the same comfort as a hostel at a low price but not the stigma. Some of them are more suited for motorists, but many are also right by a metro station so just as convienent as many places downtown

ireland.man

lc180 wrote: »

Not being nosey but what age range are you? Loads of young backpackers do it.

I've shared dorms a few times in Europe with married couples in their 40's and i always thought it was a bit..... strange.

Also one time in Canada I shared a dorm with a young French couple, they were both very comfort sharing a sleeping environment with strangers, waaaayyyy to comfortable if you catch my drift!

That's the thing, we're both in our 30s. I wouldn't judge anyone for being 'too old' for staying in a hostel but the idea of snuggling up together in a dorm room might just be beyond the pale for me!

And thanks munchkin_utd for the really good info. I agree that the differences between some hostels out there are like night and day and the experience for a couple staying in a hostel would be made by what type of hostel it is.

Also I think if we were to do ultra budget travel to some exotic location, we went to Kashmir for a week, we'd have no problem roughing it but it might feel very different staying in a dorm room in say Venice.

dory

How would you 'snuggle up' in a dorm room? Both squeeze into a single bunk? In general snuggling with other people around is a no-no.

In exotic places there don't tend to be dorms. Kashmir from what I remember has mostly B&B type places. You'll get dorms in all the tourist hot spots; Paris, Madrid, Sao Paulo, Quito etc. Pristina in Kosovo only got it's first dorm filled hostel last year. They're almost unheard of in the 'stans.

I'd say if you're young looking and not acting too couple-y you'll have no problem. I did an RTW trip at 22 and would often share with people around 35. Any older and I found it uncomfortable, especially with men (I'm female).

ireland.man

dory wrote: »

How would you 'snuggle up' in a dorm room? Both squeeze into a single bunk? In general snuggling with other people around is a no-no.

In exotic places there don't tend to be dorms. Kashmir from what I remember has mostly B&B type places. You'll get dorms in all the tourist hot spots; Paris, Madrid, Sao Paulo, Quito etc. Pristina in Kosovo only got it's first dorm filled hostel last year. They're almost unheard of in the 'stans.

I'd say if you're young looking and not acting too couple-y you'll have no problem. I did an RTW trip at 22 and would often share with people around 35. Any older and I found it uncomfortable, especially with men (I'm female).

Can I ask Dory, why would you feel uncomfortable with older people staying in hostels?

dory

Because you are sleeping, sometimes a meter away from the person (if it's a small dorm room). Waking up and seeing someone roughly my own age snoozing next to me was grand. When there was a large age gap I was bit freaked out. It's a bit disconcerting, going around in pjamas with older men in the room. I don't think how I felt was uncommon at all by the way. Everyone I met felt the same.

ireland.man

dory wrote: »

Because you are sleeping, sometimes a meter away from the person (if it's a small dorm room). Waking up and seeing someone roughly my own age snoozing next to me was grand. When there was a large age gap I was bit freaked out. It's a bit disconcerting, going around in pjamas with older men in the room. I don't think how I felt was uncommon at all by the way. Everyone I met felt the same.

I would understand any woman who said she felt uncomfortable in a dorm room with men, of course hostelling is not for everyone. But I just can't understand this age thing- why would you and the people you've talk to feel uncomfortable in the presence of people of a certain age? How does a man in his 40s make you feel uncomfortable just by staying in the same room as you while a man in his early 20s doesn't? In fact I would have thought maturity would be a plus in that situation.

I'm not saying you're wrong to feel that way (or any way!) but I just don't understand what the age of your roommates has to do with how comfortable you and your friends would feel in a dorm room.

dory

ireland.man wrote: »

I would understand any woman who said she felt uncomfortable in a dorm room with men, of course hostelling is not for everyone. But I just can't understand this age thing- why would you and the people you've talk to feel uncomfortable in the presence of people of a certain age? How does a man in his 40s make you feel uncomfortable just by staying in the same room as you while a man in his early 20s doesn't? In fact I would have thought maturity would be a plus in that situation.

I'm not saying you're wrong to feel that way (or any way!) but I just don't understand what the age of your roommates has to do with how comfortable you and your friends would feel in a dorm room.

I don't know how to explain, but I'm equally as baffled as you are that you don't see why a person would be put off by age. When everyone around was the same age it was all fun and games, and then someone you see as closer to your parents age comes in and it just seems creepy that they're in (what you see as) your bedroom.
If you don't see it as weird then go for it!

killbillvol2

Interesting perspective dory. As a male in his 40s I actually see where you're coming from.

I travel a lot, usually solo, and often stay in hostels but my dorm days are well behind me. I've often had very enjoyable nights mixing with all ages in hostel bars. Younger female travellers often ask me to travel to the next destination with them as they feel I provide some level of security. But I'd feel very weird going to bed in the same room as them. Just, no.

ireland.man

I'm not following this idea of age and discomfort in dorm rooms at all. It worries me because it's so hard for me to get- I know I'll end up being that creepy man travelling alone in Latin America and staying with younger people in hostels in a few decades from now

What makes say a 50 year old man inherently more disquieting than a 20 year old in a dorm room? Is it a sense of threat to a person's security or does it simply reduce the amount of fun a group can have if there's people of widely different ages there?

Does this mean there should be age divisions and maybe different rooms for different age groups in hostels?

dory

killbillvol2 wrote: »

Interesting perspective dory. As a male in his 40s I actually see where you're coming from.

I travel a lot, usually solo, and often stay in hostels but my dorm days are well behind me. I've often had very enjoyable nights mixing with all ages in hostel bars. Younger female travellers often ask me to travel to the next destination with them as they feel I provide some level of security. But I'd feel very weird going to bed in the same room as them. Just, no.

Agree totally with you. I have great friends, who I travel with in their 40s/50s. I just don't go to bed with them in the same room.

ireland.man wrote: »

I'm not following this idea of age and discomfort in dorm rooms at all. It worries me because it's so hard for me to get- I know I'll end up being that creepy man travelling alone in Latin America and staying with younger people in hostels in a few decades from now

What makes say a 50 year old man inherently more disquieting than a 20 year old in a dorm room? Is it a sense of threat to a person's security or does it simply reduce the amount of fun a group can have if there's people of widely different ages there?

Does this mean there should be age divisions and maybe different rooms for different age groups in hostels?

In a way there are natural divisions; dorm beds for under 40 (or so), private rooms in hostels for older. I found in South America that dorm beds were often $10 and a private room was $20. So it wasn't that much more to get your own room. If you don't get the weirdness, maybe you're just someone who doesn't notice age. Good for you!

ireland.man

dory wrote: »

Agree totally with you. I have great friends, who I travel with in their 40s/50s. I just don't go to bed with them in the same room.



In a way there are natural divisions; dorm beds for under 40 (or so), private rooms in hostels for older. I found in South America that dorm beds were often $10 and a private room was $20. So it wasn't that much more to get your own room. If you don't get the weirdness, maybe you're just someone who doesn't notice age. Good for you!

I don't mean to come across as more 'progressive' or anything like that, I just didn't get it. But yeah, I suppose there called 'youth hostels' for something

killbillvol2

Well I'm still a member of the YHA. They don't discriminate!

Last month in China I stayed almost exclusively in YHA hostels. (The standard is very good). I wasn't the oldest in any hostel by a long way. But us oldies stayed in private rooms and the kids stayed in dorms.

Also, I'm a bit better off now than when I started travelling so I'm happy to get an extra bit of comfort and privacy.

OkayWhatever

My partner and I travel quite a lot, we're both in our early 20's.

At the start we would only stay in hotels, because it was what I was used to and honestly the thought of hostels scared the sh*t out of me!! But my OH spent ages convincing me to give a hostel a go, and I finally gave in.

We started in a double private room to ease into it and get the general feel of things, and we started moving up the dorms.. And now we never really stay in hotels.

Looking back it was such a waste of money for us, it obviously wouldn't be a waste for a couple who wanted to be intimate, as you obviously can't be intimate in a 6 bed dorm!

If you wanna save some cash, hostels are great for that as you already know having previously stayed in them, that doesn't change just because you're going away with your partner!

ireland.man

OkayWhatever wrote: »

My partner and I travel quite a lot, we're both in our early 20's.

At the start we would only stay in hotels, because it was what I was used to and honestly the thought of hostels scared the sh*t out of me!! But my OH spent ages convincing me to give a hostel a go, and I finally gave in.

We started in a double private room to ease into it and get the general feel of things, and we started moving up the dorms.. And now we never really stay in hotels.

Looking back it was such a waste of money for us, it obviously wouldn't be a waste for a couple who wanted to be intimate, as you obviously can't be intimate in a 6 bed dorm!

If you wanna save some cash, hostels are great for that as you already know having previously stayed in them, that doesn't change just because you're going away with your partner!

Yeah, I think dorms might be a little too extreme for my partner but I really do love hostels. I think the craic you can have and the atmosphere is a lot better than any hotel I've ever been in. I used to couchsurf a lot which has huge benefits and I've made great friends that way but hostels with lots of like-minded people on holiday can't really be beaten!