Fry Day Funnies

MonkieSocks

Two WPCs out on patrol with their Alsatian.

One says “I’m cold & I’ve left my knickers at the station.”

The other says “Use the dog.

Give him a sniff of your fanny & he’ll fetch them for you!”

So the dog has a sniff & off he runs back to the station.

2 hrs. later he returns with 2 truncheons, a broom & 3 of the desk Sgt’s fingers.
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One day Jesus was out for a walk, strolling near the walls surrounding heaven, when he heard an old man's voice call from the other side.

"Hello? Hello?"

Jesus replied, "Who is it?"

"Just a poor, old carpenter searching for his son," the old man replied.

Jesus' heart leapt with joy and he called out, "Joseph?"




The voice answered back, "Pinocchio?"
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A tourist from France goes on his first overseas trip.

Upon arriving, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa application.

The border official looks over his shoulder, and sees the tourist trying to write,’

Twice a week' into the small space labelled, 'SEX'.

The official explains,

"No, no, no. That is not what we mean by this question.

We want to know either 'Male' or 'Female'."



"Doesn't matter," the tourist answers.

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A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard.

After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for.

The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending the poor creature rolling across the dash.

The monkey goes down between the drivers legs, unzips his pants, pulls out his unit and proceeds to give the trucker oral gratification.

When finished, the monkey pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up, puts everything back and jumps back up on the dashboard.

"See that?" said the trucker.

The man said, "Yeah."

The trucker asks the man, "You want to try it?"



The man said, "OK, but don't hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!"

Santa Cruz

Elton John and Rod Stewart walking through the park. They see this long legged blonder, mini skirt bent over with her head stuck in the park railings.
Never one to miss a chance Rod slips over and gives her one doggy style.

"Now it's your turn, Elton" says Rod

"Ooooh" says Elton " I don't think my head would fit in the railings"