The Cooking Disaster Thread

rubadub

maryfred wrote: »

.The rest went in the bin.

I find plain rice can save overly salty food. Sometimes the salt & chilli chinese dishes like wings or ribs have far too much salt, I chop it up and mix it in with plain rice.

Lovely Bloke

martinn123 wrote: »

What about the 6 who ordered ''Well Done'', give them 2 for the price of 1. ??

in fairness, I hate it when restaurants expect the whole table to eat while one person has their order fixed (if it's the restaurant's fault), then one person to have their dinner by themselves once the corrected dish lands.

Muahahaha

Cooked the classic lasagne recipe by poster The Sweeper for the second time at the weekend. The first attempt was amazing, really superb moreish recipe. This attempt though was a bit of a disaster as I used a much bigger lasagne pan and didnt have near enough ragu or cream sauce which meant the pasta sheets crisped up way too much and ruined it somewhat. Lesson learnt=(

Cant wait to make it again soon and nail it this time, when done right that recipe is something else.

Alun

Mmmm, crunchy lasagne :pac:

Photo-Sniper

martinn123 wrote: »

What about the 6 who ordered ''Well Done'', give them 2 for the price of 1. ??

I have set a standard in my restaurant where 2 for the price of one would never exist.

I know, I know I'm a snob. Heh heh

Photo-Sniper

Baldy Conscience wrote: »

in fairness, I hate it when restaurants expect the whole table to eat while one person has their order fixed (if it's the restaurant's fault), then one person to have their dinner by themselves once the corrected dish lands.

I agree. It's a joke to be honest.

Simple you lash the well dones on first..

spongebob89

Why can't I make a simple spaghetti bolognese, ive tried it a few times an keep fcuking it up. I adore this meal when I get it in a restaurant but after following recipes it just never has any taste

the beer revolu

spongebob89 wrote: »

Why can't I make a simple spaghetti bolognese, ive tried it a few times an keep fcuking it up. I adore this meal when I get it in a restaurant but after following recipes it just never has any taste

Are you seasoning it properly?

limnam

spongebob89 wrote: »

Why can't I make a simple spaghetti bolognese, ive tried it a few times an keep fcuking it up. I adore this meal when I get it in a restaurant but after following recipes it just never has any taste

Don't forget the chocolate :pac:

Riverireland

Photo-Sniper wrote: »

I agree. It's a joke to be honest.

Simple you lash the well dones on first..

Did you not say you put all 20 on at the sMe time yourself?

tampopo

Well, I stumbled across the photo in an old file/folder and it brought it alllll back to me.

It was a few years ago, Lorraine Pascale was on the telly a lot. She had her series on and this week she was making macaroons. And she made it look SO easy. And SO simple. Any fool could manage.

Not me though. Instead of soft an crumbly, nicely risen. I got a green runny mess... I haven't attempted them since.



une catastrophe!

MissFlitworth

tampopo wrote: »

Yay! tampopo

*waves*

Hello! You've been missed whatcha been eating?

Photo-Sniper

tampopo wrote: »

Well, I stumbled across the photo in an old file/folder and it brought it alllll back to me.

It was a few years ago, Lorraine Pascale was on the telly a lot. She had her series on and this week she was making macaroons. And she made it look SO easy. And SO simple. Any fool could manage.

Not me though. Instead of soft an crumbly, nicely risen. I got a green runny mess... I haven't attempted them since.



une catastrophe!

Looks to me that you don't have enough ground almond in the mix OR you are over folding it. Overfolding the mixture is the number 1 reason of macaron failure

Vojera

Photo-Sniper wrote: »

Looks to me that you don't have enough ground almond in the mix OR you are over folding it. Overfolding the mixture is the number 1 reason of macaron failure

I read a macaron recipe once that said "68 to 72 turns of the spatula is enough to incorporate the mixture" and I instantly said, "Nope, any recipe that specifies the number of mixes is not for me". My sister has a great knack for them, hers have never failed, not even her first ever attempt. People like her sicken me!

magicmushroom

Had a friend visiting from Australia who adores curry.
I have a fab recipe that I love to make and was telling him how lovely it would be!

Made it one night, tasted it before serving, just wasn't right.
Couldn't work out what I'd done wrong!
Was nearly crying with embarrassment, it was horrible...anyway, bit of an awkward silence at the dinner table and he suddenly says - did you forget to put in curry powder or something?

That is exactly what I'd done. The most basic ingredient - hahaha!
So I had to scrape the curry back into the pot, add the powder and reheat. Thankfully it was yummy after that!

We still laugh about it to this day

Photo-Sniper

Vojera wrote: »

I read a macaron recipe once that said "68 to 72 turns of the spatula is enough to incorporate the mixture" and I instantly said, "Nope, any recipe that specifies the number of mixes is not for me". My sister has a great knack for them, hers have never failed, not even her first ever attempt. People like her sicken me!

My pastry chef has to make 200 of them every morning. (400 sides in total). She is one of these perfectionists that you speak of. I don't have the patienxe.

kylith

Photo-Sniper wrote: »

My pastry chef has to make 200 of them every morning. (400 sides in total). She is one of these perfectionists that you speak of. I don't have the patienxe.

You really have to be to be a pastry chef, don't you? It's like chemistry.

kitten_k

Made a beef wellington at the weekend. It had a very soggy bottom - Mary Berry would have been disappointed. I didn't serve the bottom and the rest was lovely so it turned out ok in the end.

the beer revolu

kitten_k wrote: »

Made a beef wellington at the weekend. It had a very soggy bottom - Mary Berry would have been disappointed. I didn't serve the bottom and the rest was lovely so it turned out ok in the end.

I've heard that wrapping the beef in a crepe helps with this, for future reference.

Dial Hard

Just made a haims of my lunch, which took over an hour to make :mad: Crispy sweet potato skins that are now just blackened pieces of char-paper in the bin.

Tea and a biscuit it is.

Dial Hard

Animord wrote: »

I decided a while ago to make sourdough bread. I had nursed my starter for about two weeks, lovingly feeding it and making sure it was the right temperature and happy.

I haven't made sourdough since the time I took my starter out of the hot press to find one drowning and one drowned mouse in it.

rubadub

Dial Hard wrote: »

I haven't made sourdough since the time I took my starter out of the hot press to find one drowning and one drowned mouse in it.

jaysus, at least you found them before cooking it. Reminds me of that line, "what's worse than finding a worm in your apple -finding half a worm"

Dial Hard

rubadub wrote: »

jaysus, at least you found them before cooking it.

It was quite distressing. I kept thinking about what a horrible way to die it must have been for the poor fecker. The other one was absolutely exhausted too, don't think he'd have lasted much longer. I took him out, rinsed him off (took forever, sourdough starter is like glue), then popped him in a box on top of the radiator in the kitchen to dry off and warm up. Then put him out in the shed.

My husband watched all this with an expression of great bemusement. He was like "You've just spent two hours rescuing a mouse that's probably going to come straight back into the house and get killed in a trap anyway."

Dolbert

I made a chicken chow mein for dinner tonight. I was about 3 bites in when I noticed a bluebottle crawling up the noodles towards my fork. I can't be sure, but I think he got mixed in at some point I had a ham roll instead.

The Hill Billy

Dolbert wrote: »

I made a chicken chow mein for dinner tonight. I was about 3 bites in when I noticed a bluebottle crawling up the noodles towards my fork. I can't be sure, but I think he got mixed in at some point I had a ham roll instead.

That reminded me of this.

Alun

This year we grew some curly kale in our veg beds .. looked great apart from a few holes where something had eaten them, but otherwise OK. Picked a load and started washing it and quickly discovered large numbers of green caterpillars. Thought, OK, no problem I'll wash them all out and thought I'd got every single one until I put it in the boiling water, and then what by then was a white, curled up, and thoroughly cooked looking caterpillar floated to the surface :eek: Cue lots of poking and prodding and stirring to provoke any other unwanted creepy crawlies to make their presence known by which time said kale was well and truly cooked. Ended up eating it all in the end, but it was one of the most tension laden mealtimes I've ever known

Dial Hard

Alun wrote:

Ended up eating it all in the end, but it was one of the most tension laden mealtimes I've ever known

There's nothing quite like growing your own veg for making you wonder how organic farmers do it.

Many's the time I've been reduced to spraying brassicas with the pesticide gun like Dirty Harry on a bad day.

Dizzyblonde

Dial Hard wrote: »

There's nothing quite like growing your own veg for making you wonder how organic farmers do it.

Many's the time I've been reduced to spraying brassicas with the pesticide gun like Dirty Harry on a bad day.

I gave up on cabbage and broccoli when I started wanting to kill the white butterflies that lay egg on them. There didn't seen to be any point in spraying them since I might as well just buy them in the shop if I was going to do that.

I grew kale last winter and had no problems though.

MissFlitworth

This is possibly more of a 'brewing coffee disaster' but, guess who just punched the stainless steel sink in their office separating the 2 parts of their aeropress?

rubadub

MissFlitworth wrote: »

punched the stainless steel sink in their office separating the 2 parts of their aeropress?

People may not know what this is. It is like a giant syringe or plunger



I have been hurt similarly when taking apart similar items, with scars to prove it. It takes a lot of force to take it apart as its a rubber plunger, then all of a sudden it is free and your hand goes flying and hits something.

My trick is to hold & press my elbows in tight against my side and have your elbows bent. So when it does come free your hand cannot go flying, or it just flys off a few inches, the fact you are pressing inwards means when your arm does fly out it comes back in again.