The Cooking Disaster Thread

BaZmO*

MissFlitworth wrote: »

This is possibly more of a 'brewing coffee disaster' but, guess who just punched the stainless steel sink in their office separating the 2 parts of their aeropress?

I thought you punched the stainless steel sink and as a result of punching it you separated the 2 parts of your aeropress. I was finding it hard to work out what you had done......and why!

MissFlitworth

Just hulking out in the kitchen, punching things, intimidating people who just want to come in to get biscuits

tampopo

^^^
It aint easy bein' green.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnCQTNriVlE

Well, I thought I'd try the idiot proof method of macaron making, but no. Failed again.



I'm a bit puzzled. I must go back and see what the diagnosis was for the last time. I must say, I was very impressed by the diagnosis-by-photo, Photo-Sniper.

Oh well, try again. Fail again. Fail better....

Whispered

I tried to make bean burgers today. I blitzed the food processor for a bit too long but shaped the resultant goo into patties anyway. As they cooked they spread and I ended up with a dish of bean paste. Tasty, but nowhere near burger-like.

homemadecider

I just made a big pot of celeriac soup. Lots of lovely things like buttery leeks, chopped garlic and diced spuds in there to make things interesting. It was only after I had blitzed the soup in the food processor that I realised I never took the friggin bay leaf out. Whole pot of soup ruined!

oscarBravo

I made my best ever Bearnaise this evening. The perfect balance of acidity, nice bite of pepper, the most unctuous creamy texture...

...until I took my eye off it for 18 milliseconds and it split.

:mad:

the beer revolu

homemadecider wrote: »

I just made a big pot of celeriac soup. Lots of lovely things like buttery leeks, chopped garlic and diced spuds in there to make things interesting. It was only after I had blitzed the soup in the food processor that I realised I never took the friggin bay leaf out. Whole pot of soup ruined!

You're not the first and you won't be the last to do that. Hardly ruined, though? Surely just a few stringy bits in the soup and a bit more herby than intended?

maryfred

homemadecider wrote: »

I just made a big pot of celeriac soup. Lots of lovely things like buttery leeks, chopped garlic and diced spuds in there to make things interesting. It was only after I had blitzed the soup in the food processor that I realised I never took the friggin bay leaf out. Whole pot of soup ruined!

Why would that ruin the soup? I've often blitzed bay leaves in soups, if I think of it I'll take it out first. I've never really noticed much of a difference other than a odd piece not fully chopped.

Mystery Egg

When I make boeuf bourguignon a la Julia Childs I always crumble in two bay leaves, just as her recipe calls for. Granted, red wine stew is a deeper flavour than veg soup but it should survive, no?

Whispered

I made tomato sauce for pinwheels yesterday and decided to throw some spinach in near the end. Left it bubbling away, then my husband came in wanting to know what the "cow pat" in the saucepan was I looked, it did indeed resemble something you might step in in a field.

Still, tastes ok.

GrahamThomas

I made minestrone earlier, but put waaay too much pasta into the pot - it's now just a thick starchy mess instead of a soup

Buona Fortuna

I did a recipe a pasta and crab claws recipe from Lidl.

My own fault . Didn't read it just started at 1.

1. Put pasta on, for the recommended time.

2. Finely chop, garlic, and fry for x mins

Wah the pasta is done

3. Finely chop a chilli and add to the pan.

Wah the Tagliatel and had gone into a big gloopy ball.

4. Add the finely chopped parsley and combine with the Al dente pasta.

Oh come on.


Own fault, made it again and was really good, just not that time

PopTarts

Hope someone can advise me!

Tried making protein type muffins the other day so ... Eggs / bacon pieces / oats / cheese mixed together and poured into muffin case and into a muffin tray and into oven until brown / cooked.

I made a big batch, placed some in a lunch box and left them in the fridge for a couple of days.

When I went to eat them I just thought they had gone all soggy, then lunchbox was damp and the muffin cases were damp and sticking to the muffin.

Any solution to prevent this? Thanks

Dizzyblonde

Were the muffins completely cold before you put them into the fridge? If they were even slightly warm it would have caused condensation on the inside of the box.

Dizzyblonde

More a baking disaster than a cooking one, but my funniest yet. I put the ingredients for a lovely French loaf into the bread maker last night without noticing that the plastic scoop for my flour went in with it. Now I know that plastic affects the proving process

Speedwell

maryfred wrote: »

Wanted to do BBQ ribs,didn't boil them first,after 5 hours slow cooking,they were melt in the mouth texture wise, and tasted like a block of salt. Yuck! I managed 2,he managed 3.The rest went in the bin. I've never made that mistake before. And we were starving.

I did that. My Irish husband retrieved the packaging out of the rubbish and said, "Do you not know what bacon ribs are?". No. No. The Yank didn't have any idea. They looked just like a regular uncured rack of ribs.

anothernight

Speedwell wrote: »

I did that. My Irish husband retrieved the packaging out of the rubbish and said, "Do you not know what bacon ribs are?". No. No. The Yank didn't have any idea. They looked just like a regular uncured rack of ribs.

My mum did that too when we moved to Ireland, except she had no one to tell her where she went wrong!

MissFlitworth

Hey, so, roughly eyeballing the mae ploy Thai green curry paste & tipping (what turned out to be) 5 to 6 heaping tablespoons of it into your coconut milk turns out to be a terrible idea and results in you hightailing it out to find a local open shop selling coconut milk while your rice burns. Just a little public service announcement.

<sulks>

Tree

MissFlitworth wrote: »

Hey, so, roughly eyeballing the mae ploy Thai green curry paste & tipping (what turned out to be) 5 to 6 heaping tablespoons of it into your coconut milk turns out to be a terrible idea and results in you hightailing it out to find a local open shop selling coconut milk while your rice burns. Just a little public service announcement.

<sulks>

I misjudge the curry paste ALL THE TIME, keep meaning write the appropriate amount on the tub but never do.

MissFlitworth

We were having fish fingers, curly fries and onion rings tonight. To cost effectively use up the ridiculously huge bags of onion rings and fries I bought yesterday, clever like. Except I somehow threw a small plastic bowl in the oven with them and now dinner will be takeout while we air the stench of melted plastic out of the house

Faith

More of an eating disaster than a cooking one, but I just ordered a load of sushi for lunch. My husband can't/won't use chopsticks, so when he stabbed a piece of California roll with a fork, some avocado spilled out. I just hoovered up all of the pieces, and discovered too late that one piece of "avocado" was actually a lump of wasabi :eek:.

MissFlitworth

I have a bit of a Schrödinger's disaster going on at the moment. When I left for work this morning I put a plastic take out container of saag paneer in my bag. With a lid not known for its staying on power. I then forgot about it and my backpack has been upside down, squeezed, swung around the place, generally treated poorly. Am afraid to unzip it and see spinach & ghee goop on everything

KatieBelle92

I was at my friends house a few weeks ago and she suggested popping a frozen pizza in the oven.

She went out to check on it after a few minutes and unbeknown to the rest of us she flipped it over so that the "bottom" would cook.

Obviously all the toppings just fell off onto the bottom of the oven. She didn't find it funny at all and kept asking how was she supposed to know that you don't turn pizzas over halfway through, sure how else would be bottom get cooked!

Shenshen

Baking disaster. I promised I'd bring two lovely loaves of focaccia to a charity event tonight. Left work early to get the dough ready, kneaded it lovingly, left it to proof, mixed olives and feta onto one and ajvar and jalapenos into the other, pre-heated the oven, put a bowl of boiling water in the bottom and put in the loaves.
And realised only 15 minutes later that I hadn't turned on the oven, but the grill. So the top one got way too dark. Even covering it with tin foil for the rest of the baking didn't save it.
So now I've only got one loaf... better than nothing, but I'm still f*cking annoyed at myself.

Speedwell

Shenshen wrote: »

Baking disaster. I promised I'd bring two lovely loaves of focaccia to a charity event tonight. Left work early to get the dough ready, kneaded it lovingly, left it to proof, mixed olives and feta onto one and ajvar and jalapenos into the other, pre-heated the oven, put a bowl of boiling water in the bottom and put in the loaves.
And realised only 15 minutes later that I hadn't turned on the oven, but the grill. So the top one got way too dark. Even covering it with tin foil for the rest of the baking didn't save it.
So now I've only got one loaf... better than nothing, but I'm still f*cking annoyed at myself.

Having one and not none is worth something. Yesterday I made some extra nice rich chicken stock and put it in three plastic freezer containers to cool. My husband told me this morning that one container was cracked and was leaking so he threw it out. I was all ready to be upset over the lost one when I remembered philosophically I had two left. But I'm not buying that kind of freezer container again.

Dizzyblonde

Speedwell wrote: »

Having one and not none is worth something. Yesterday I made some extra nice rich chicken stock and put it in three plastic freezer containers to cool. My husband told me this morning that one container was cracked and was leaking so he threw it out. I was all ready to be upset over the lost one when I remembered philosophically I had two left. But I'm not buying that kind of freezer container again.

Was it one of those thin ones with the blue lids that come in packs in supermarkets? I've stopped buying them because you can almost put your thumb through them when you lift them they're so weak.

Speedwell

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

Was it one of those thin ones with the blue lids that come in packs in supermarkets? I've stopped buying them because you can almost put your thumb through them when you lift them they're so weak.

No, but I got what I paid for at Dealz.

anon71

Out of frugality I bought cheaper spices to replace mine when they ran out. Made my own (tried and tested) curry sauce tonight using the new spices. Too dark, too hot, too spicy! Inedible!!! Overall beyond disgusting. The whole lot ended up in the bin, and I batch cook so it was like 10 dinners wasted. Grrrr!!!!!!

Dizzyblonde

My disasters all seem to involve bread. This morning I decided to make a couple of loaves of brown yeast bread with treacle, it's really easy and requires no kneading. It calls for mostly wholemeal flour with a small amount of strong white. Unfortunately the bag of Allinson's stoneground wholemeal looks very like the bag of Aldi self raising.....
Yes, you'd think I'd have noticed the texture and colour - I'll put it down to the dullness of the morning
It dawned on my just as they were finished baking and I have them cooling at the moment. I'm thinking they'll probably be hollow in the middle :rolleyes:

Dizzyblonde

^ They're okay

Not hollow, and a nice flavour - just a strange shade of beige due to the treacle. I'm so glad I don't have to bin them.