The Cooking Disaster Thread

Vojera

I made a curry from the Happy Pear's recipe book a few weeks ago. (It's the potato and bean one, if you're interested).

I don't know what came over me, but I bought floury potatoes, so when I chopped them into wedges and left them in the curry, they went to complete mush. And worse, for some reason I didn't bother tasting as I went - I followed the recipe exactly, and holy moly do they put a lot of salt in there! So I ended up with a big pot full of inedible salty mush And it smelled lovely, just to twist the knife. Had to throw it all away.

I made it again the following week with waxy potatoes and about a quarter the amount of salt (plus a few additions of other things, like garam masala) and it was lovely. But I think it's a bit ruined for me now. I'll always remember my terrible mistake!

Loire

Mrs Loire (who would be the first to admit she's lousy at cooking (great at baking mind!)) had a disaster yesterday. Stir-fry but guessing the quantities of soy sauce and fish sauce were mixed up as I could smell the stink of fish sauce when I came in the driveway!!

bigronnie9

not so much a cooking disaster but it really ruined my evening, dropped an egg when I was putting them away in the fridge yesterday...smashed on the lower level of the fridge...quickly seeped down onto the freezer door and all into the rubbery bit that seals the door...and down the front of the freezer... and the other half went all over the tiles and under the fridge...

There is nothing, NOTHING I hate more than this! Cleaning raw egg of everything is a nightmare!!! :eek:

Loire

So I was there last Sunday night very happy with myself for making 2 make-ahead meals - a beef stroganoff and a chicken mixture for a chicken puff pie dish. Each tasted delish. I popped them into ziploc bags and put then into the fridge for Mon night and Tue night's dinners. As I was late on Mon night her good self went ahead and heated up the dinner. You can imagine my horror when I looked into the pot to see both meals combined! To say it was vile was an understatement. It was so bad we had to give it a name......Chicken-Off

Dizzyblonde

Loire wrote: »

So I was there last Sunday night very happy with myself for making 2 make-ahead meals - a beef stroganoff and a chicken mixture for a chicken puff pie dish. Each tasted delish. I popped them into ziploc bags and put then into the fridge for Mon night and Tue night's dinners. As I was late on Mon night her good self went ahead and heated up the dinner. You can imagine my horror when I looked into the pot to see both meals combined! To say it was vile was an understatement. It was so bad we had to give it a name......Chicken-Off

Herself should be banned from the kitchen :pac:

Mystery Egg

Loire - that caused me pain to read

Gloomtastic!

Making bean burgers, the recipe said to extract as much moisture out as possible and to crush the beans with a fork. Lazy me just chucked everything into the food processor.

A gloopy mess that i’m trying to fry into patties but they’re so wet they’re flowing when I turn them. :rolleyes:

B0jangles

Refried beans-burgers?

Maybe you're on to something great here!

BaZmO*

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

Making bean burgers, the recipe said to extract as much moisture out as possible and to crush the beans with a fork. Lazy me just chucked everything into the food processor.

A gloopy mess that i’m trying to fry into patties but they’re so wet they’re flowing when I turn them. :rolleyes:

Freeze them then deep fry?

Gloomtastic!

BaZmO* wrote: »

Freeze them then deep fry?

Good idea but oo late. Hid what survived under some cheese slices and the kids wolfed them down.

Neyite

Cheese fixes pretty much anything.

Dial Hard

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

Making bean burgers, the recipe said to extract as much moisture out as possible and to crush the beans with a fork. Lazy me just chucked everything into the food processor.

A gloopy mess that i’m trying to fry into patties but they’re so wet they’re flowing when I turn them. :rolleyes:

I did the same making tzatziki the other day. And, like you, found out that the process is there for a reason. Still ate it, mind you.

Alun

Dial Hard wrote: »

I did the same making tzatziki the other day. And, like you, found out that the process is there for a reason. Still ate it, mind you.

Been there, done that! Also apart from making it runny it affects the taste too, and not in a good way.

Shenshen

I'm working late all of this week, so yesterday my dear husband offered to cook. Which was really sweet of him, he really doesn't like doing it, and he has a total of 2 things he can cook : Baked potato and spaghetti bolognese. Now, I always love pasta, so when he asked what he should cook I opted for that.

So there I was, relaxing on the sofa with him scurrying about the kitchen, getting food prepared. And it was starting to smell lovely indeed.
Then I hear a slightly concerned "Oh!....... Um....." from the kitchen and he pops his head round the corner asking "Um.... that red pepper paste, is that hot?"

Now, I've 2 types of red pepper paste in the fridge. One is a jar of what's essentially red pepper puree, it's lovely and sweet.
The other type is a fiercely hot, spicy tube of what's essentially pureed chilies. I've had it for at least 2 years now, but there's next to nothing missing, as I'd use it in homeopathic amounts usually. It lives in the fridge door, on the same shelf as the tomato puree

So, feeling baselessly optimistic (because really he's no reason to go for the jar, does he?) I asked if he used the stuff in the jar. He holds the now empty tube of the chili puree.

Thinking on my feet about how to salvage this, I ask has he stirred it in yet. Slightly sheepish nodding of the head.

I explained what that stuff was, and we both stood over the pasta sauce wondering what to do. We tasted it, just because, you know, by some sort of miracle it may be less potent when used in huge quantity? Nope - it burned the skin off the roof of my mouth.

So we opted for spaghetti aglio e olio instead in the end.

Musefan

Went to make a slow cooker chicken and mushroom stroganoff type thing recently. Followed the recipe and left it overnight. Woke up to a rotten looking split sauce that wasn't fixable and that turned my stomach! Looked like baby sick. :mad:

Graces7

The title reminds me of my first cookery classes at school.. We had to take the ingredients in ready weighed, in paper bags ( before the era of plastic bags). And we were making rock cakes.

All went well, and when the trays were safely in the ovens, we were told to tidy up. To my horror ( and the teacher was a dragon) I found the small bag of sugar...intact. unused....

Teacher was at the far end of the room so I whipped the warm cakes out, back in the mixing bowl, in went the sugar and back into the oven.

I got away with it and they were fine..

From which I learned that it is not making a mistake that matters but being clever enough to set it right successfully. Far more of a lesson than making rock cakes. ...

igCorcaigh

Shenshen wrote: »

I'm working late all of this week, so yesterday my dear husband offered to cook. Which was really sweet of him, he really doesn't like doing it, and he has a total of 2 things he can cook : Baked potato and spaghetti bolognese. Now, I always love pasta, so when he asked what he should cook I opted for that.

So there I was, relaxing on the sofa with him scurrying about the kitchen, getting food prepared. And it was starting to smell lovely indeed.
Then I hear a slightly concerned "Oh!....... Um....." from the kitchen and he pops his head round the corner asking "Um.... that red pepper paste, is that hot?"

Now, I've 2 types of red pepper paste in the fridge. One is a jar of what's essentially red pepper puree, it's lovely and sweet.
The other type is a fiercely hot, spicy tube of what's essentially pureed chilies. I've had it for at least 2 years now, but there's next to nothing missing, as I'd use it in homeopathic amounts usually. It lives in the fridge door, on the same shelf as the tomato puree

So, feeling baselessly optimistic (because really he's no reason to go for the jar, does he?) I asked if he used the stuff in the jar. He holds the now empty tube of the chili puree.

Thinking on my feet about how to salvage this, I ask has he stirred it in yet. Slightly sheepish nodding of the head.

I explained what that stuff was, and we both stood over the pasta sauce wondering what to do. We tasted it, just because, you know, by some sort of miracle it may be less potent when used in huge quantity? Nope - it burned the skin off the roof of my mouth.

So we opted for spaghetti aglio e olio instead in the end.

Now that's my kind of arrabiata sauce!

Shenshen

I must be on a roll - I was just going to make myself a smoothie, so put frozen and fresh fruit with some milk in the blender. I switched the blender on, and seconds later was wondering why there was mixture seeping from under where the blender attaches to the food processor. Stopped the thing, and as I took the blender off, the entire bottom remained on the food processor, spilling the entire content all over the kitchen counter.

So instead of enjoying a lovely, creamy, cold smoothie, I spent an hour cleaning the kitchen. And I need to find a new blender attachment. :mad:

Dizzyblonde

Omg the horror!

D3V!L

Shenshen wrote: »

I must be on a roll - I was just going to make myself a smoothie, so put frozen and fresh fruit with some milk in the blender. I switched the blender on, and seconds later was wondering why there was mixture seeping from under where the blender attaches to the food processor. Stopped the thing, and as I took the blender off, the entire bottom remained on the food processor, spilling the entire content all over the kitchen counter.

So instead of enjoying a lovely, creamy, cold smoothie, I spent an hour cleaning the kitchen. And I need to find a new blender attachment. :mad:

I dont suppose it was a lidl blender was it ? My old one did that and it took me an hour to clean up>

B0jangles

That happened to me too with a very old (like '70s probably) blender, but I put it down to a combination of rock-hard frozen strawberries and the old plastic going a bit delicate.

Shenshen

Actually.... and I can't begin to describe how embarrassed I am posting this - it didn't break. By the looks of it, the bottom is designed to be detachable, it screws in to the top half. To make it easier to clean, I suppose. Only I never knew that. So what must have happened was that last time I cleaned it, I twisted it in such a way that when I put it on yesterday, it just came apart.

I should have RTFM...

beertons

Didn't happen me, but my cousin was telling me about a dinner he was cooking a few weeks ago. Bought a steak meal deal, and set everything up. Opened a bottle of red wine to air. Poured himself a glass to try it out. By the time he was ready to eat, he was plastered. Last thing he remembers was slicing a potato and putting it in his mouth. It wasn't a potato, but an onion!

Faith

A rare baking fail for me today. I decided to make banana bread, after it being all the rage a few weeks back. I followed the Hummingbird Bakery recipe, and it was quite a wet batter. Thinking I’d be super fancy, I cut a banana lengthwise and placed it on top of the batter before putting it in the oven. I had visions of it getting all lovely and caramelised on top.

Well, about halfway through the cook time, I glanced in the oven and saw batter dripping down the sides of the loaf tin. Not unheard of, but annoying. 10 minutes before it was due to come out, I checked on it. The banana from the top had disappeared, and the batter was still half liquid...

I ended up giving it an extra 15 minutes in the oven, and when I finally got it out of the tin, the bottom half stayed in the tin. The banana had sunk and essentially steamed, turning a rather vile colour . The top half of the bread was grand, but I had to trim away the bits that were in contact with the full banana and throw them out, as they were undercooked and horrible. I reckon I lost a good half of the batter in the end! The remaining loaf is edible, but if I was on GBBO, I’d have tipped the whole thing in the bin and walked out

Mystery Egg

So as many of you in here know, because I'm always banging on about it in the dinner thread, my previously baby-led-weaned son who ate all round him now only eats crackers and confectionary. I'm constantly trying to find ways to sneak vegetables into him.

One of the very few surviving dinners in his newfound fussiness is spag bol which, to my horror, he recently started refusing because he could pick out the grated carrot and minced onion from his bowl and a chorus of "I don't like it..." would begin.

I recalled seeing Lilly Higgins doing a pasta sauce which was basically a load of pureed vegetables and I decided to give it a go with some minced beef, reasoning that my son would have nothing to pick out but he'd still be getting his veg.

So I roughly chopped some carrots, onions, celery, garlic, red pepper and tomatoes and popped them in the pressure cooker for 7 minutes.

Meanwhile I browned some minced beef and prepared my herbs and seasonings.

When the veg were cooked I pureed them with the hand blender. When I met resistance I realised the carrots were still hard. However I continued grinding until the damn things were a pulp. The pot of pureed vegetables now resembled a big bowl of baby sick.

Doubtful but determined I poured it into the mince mixture and added stock, red wine, herbs, sugar etc etc and stirred. It looked bright orange and absolutely vile. I added tomato puree to improve the colour and let it simmer for half an hour. The texture was absolutely bizarre, light and grainy. The taste was 90% red pepper (which my son hates). It was deeply unappetising and I knew there was exactly zero chance of him eating it.

The whole horrible concoction went in the compost bin (to my shame) - wrong I know - but I felt dishing it up might not only end his relationship with spag bol forever, but possibly end my own relationship with it too.

His dinner was chicken nuggets.

Gloomtastic!

Mystery Egg wrote: »

So as many of you in here know, because I'm always banging on about it in the dinner thread, my previously baby-led-weaned son who ate all round him now only eats crackers and confectionary. I'm constantly trying to find ways to sneak vegetables into him.

One of the very few surviving dinners in his newfound fussiness is spag bol which, to my horror, he recently started refusing because he could pick out the grated carrot and minced onion from his bowl and a chorus of "I don't like it..." would begin.

I recalled seeing Lilly Higgins doing a pasta sauce which was basically a load of pureed vegetables and I decided to give it a go with some minced beef, reasoning that my son would have nothing to pick out but he'd still be getting his veg.

So I roughly chopped some carrots, onions, celery, garlic, red pepper and tomatoes and popped them in the pressure cooker for 7 minutes.

Meanwhile I browned some minced beef and prepared my herbs and seasonings.

When the veg were cooked I pureed them with the hand blender. When I met resistance I realised the carrots were still hard. However I continued grinding until the damn things were a pulp. The pot of pureed vegetables now resembled a big bowl of baby sick.

Doubtful but determined I poured it into the mince mixture and added stock, red wine, herbs, sugar etc etc and stirred. It looked bright orange and absolutely vile. I added tomato puree to improve the colour and let it simmer for half an hour. The texture was absolutely bizarre, light and grainy. The taste was 90% red pepper (which my son hates). It was deeply unappetising and I knew there was exactly zero chance of him eating it.

The whole horrible concoction went in the compost bin (to my shame) - wrong I know - but I felt dishing it up might not only end his relationship with spag bol forever, but possibly end my own relationship with it too.

His dinner was chicken nuggets.

Being able to pick out the grated carrot is a touch of genius.

Mystery Egg

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

Being able to pick out the grated carrot is a touch of genius.

He is very unfortunately both intelligent and observant. I will be very happy about this some day but while he's two it's rather annoying being outsmarted on a regular basis.

Dizzyblonde

Mystery Egg wrote: »

He is very unfortunately both intelligent and observant. I will be very happy about this some day but while he's two it's rather annoying being outsmarted on a regular basis.

Proud but frustrated mammy moment :pac:

There's nothing worse than making a meal that you have to keep adding ingredients, time and effort to, that goes in the bin anyway. I take it personally when anything I cook goes in the bin.

My 17 month old grandson would take the hand off you, he eats everything from the baby led weaning book and beyond. My 29 month old grandson lives on a diet of fruit, sausages, cheese and carbs and yet the same methods of weaning were used with him. I heard he was nearly puking last night just tipping a piece of roast chicken against his lips :rolleyes:

Mystery Egg

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

Proud but frustrated mammy moment :pac:

There's nothing worse than making a meal that you have to keep adding ingredients, time and effort to, that goes in the bin anyway. I take it personally when anything I cook goes in the bin.

My 17 month old grandson would take the hand off you, he eats everything from the baby led weaning book and beyond. My 29 month old grandson lives on a diet of fruit, sausages, cheese and carbs and yet the same methods of weaning were used with him. I heard he was nearly puking last night just tipping a piece of roast chicken against his lips :rolleyes:

At 17 months my fella was the same as your little grandson and at 30 months my fella is identical to your 29 month old. He retches when tasting things he previously used to devour!

Neyite

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

Being able to pick out the grated carrot is a touch of genius.

My lad couldn't find his coat or shoes directly in front of his face but can pick out a microscopic bit of onion in his dinners. There was a point I was begging him to at least lick the broccoli in the hope that some nutrients would transfer to his system. But he's gotten a bit better as he got older.



Mystery, I did the same with Spag Bol and he wasn't fooled. But the red lentils did escape his scrutiny...;)