Do you want kids and/or marriage?

whirlpool

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually.

You're probably surrounding yourself with like-minded people, and that's why you don't know anyone who doesn't feel like you.

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold.

If you don't know anyone that doesn't want them eventually, then you don't know any woman who doesn't want them, and if you don't know her then you don't know if she's cold or not.

ibarelycare

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.

What? Why would you find a woman who doesn't want to have kids to be "cold" and not a man? A good few of my friends (of both gender) don't want kids.



I'm 28 and female. In a 2.5 year relationship, my boyfriend is the same age. I definitely want to get married, but in no immediate rush. Neither of us want children.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.

You say women who don't want kids are cold, but you only want kids so you don't die alone? Ill take being cold over being a self centred selfish git.

Ciderswigger

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

That's a bit harsh, no? I don't want children. I made the decision years ago and stand by it. But I'm most definitely not cold. I adore my niece and nephew and love being around my friend's children but I just don't want my own.

Also, we don't know that the votes were all women.

Every time this subject comes up people always say 'Oh you're young, you'll change your mind when you meet the one.' Which might be the case for some women but I honestly don't think I'll change my mind and it would be a deal breaker for my long term relationship.

But whether I change my mind or not, I do think it's unfair to act so unbelievably horrified that a woman may not want to become a mother.

_Redzer_

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.

Because this isn't the 50s and reproducing out of cultural obligation is becoming less and less of a norm.

Kids are a big trade off for your freedom, time and resources. You have to weigh up if they're worth that. It's all a trade off. I personally don't want kids for that very reason. It isn't right for me, but that's just me. It works for some, not for others.

There are 7 billion of us on the planet, we're not exactly left wanting when it comes to people, so why should we be pressured into thinking it's the done thing to raise a family?

And as for dying alone, that's bollocks. I hope to have a partner, friends and family with me by my side. Thinking the world revolves around the idea that kids should mean everything to everyone is 20th century thinking. We're in the 21st century now btw.

readyletsgo

32.

Kids are great an all but no thanks, have my niece and nephew to spoil with my single money.

And marriage? Would ya go away outta that! Never.

cupcake83

I was married really young at 19 for 11 years and am divorcing I'm 30. I don't know if I'll do it again honestly . I'm not against it but the next go round I'll be a little more selective !

pharmaton

Have one adult spawn and have been considering taking on as a foster parent. Never intended on being a parent originally but she turned out just fine which kind of give me the motivation to think I could offer another child the same opportunities. I was never particularly maternal in the traditional sense but I know now that I am capable of providing much needed security, stability and encouragement in all the right doses. Maybe it could be of benefit to somebody else. (single)

Annasopra

I'd definitely love both

Although kids may be extremely difficult given the laws in this country

Holsten

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.

Silly post.

I know loads of people who do not want children, none of them are "cold".

DoozerT6

Having worked with the elderly, BELIEVE me when I say that having children does NOT mean you will have a close loving family there with you when you are old and incontinent and in a nursing home. Some of my elderly friends had no visitors at all, or infrequent visits from more distant relatives such as nieces or cousins. Only some of the residents had no children of their own.

Those who had regular visits from children and grandchildren were the lucky few. Some families lived long distances away, and didn't even phone to enquire about their parent. Bear in mind also that some individuals simply cannot emotionally handle watching their parent become infirm and perhaps senile. For them it's easier not to visit, even if they live locally enough.

As for myself, pushing 40, permanently single, female...well kids may not happen for me at this stage, but I would like to think I would find my soul mate someday...maybe even get married, just for the heck of it...

lahalane

28. I want to be a father. My ideal woman would get a cheap registry office type marriage so if I find someone like that, I'll get married too.

seosamh1980

Want marriage (which is good because it's booked), don't want kids. I'm female btw, 28. Love playing with friends babies, love handing them back. Not interested in having them , paying for them, worrying about them, raising them. Would prefer to keep it to nieces, nephews and friends kids, and keep himself to myself, to have a great carefree time with.

It must be lovely to just know you want kids, we get so many comments because we/I don't gush about wanting them, can't imagine being so certain about wanting to commit to something so life consuming that you can't get out of.

newbee22

26....want both! Nowhere near either of them though so who knows if it will happen!

wuzziwig

I have 3 kids if anyone wants one?

Seriously though I love having kids. They are great fun. My eldest is 10 and he thinks I'm the most amazing Mammy in the world. Nothing else comes close to how special your kids make you feel.

In the process of getting out of a bad marriage and would never go there again. Living with someone I might consider again sometime. And if anyone asked for my advice on marriage I'd scream at the top of my voice "Don't do it"!

MurdyWurdy

wuzziwig wrote: »

Seriously though I love having kids. They are great fun. My eldest is 10 and he thinks I'm the most amazing Mammy in the world. Nothing else comes close to how special your kids make you feel.

I was just saying this to someone the other day. My son is only a small baby but he looks at me like I am the most wonderful person in the world. Nobody else will ever like me that much! It's a great feeling and makes all the crap stuff (and yes, there is a lot of crap stuff) worthwhile

pharmaton

mango salsa wrote: »

I'd definitely love both

Although kids may be extremely difficult given the laws in this country

would you consider adopting as a single person? I know it's not ideal but I'm at this point myself, having reared one already on my own I genuinely feel it's something I'm ready for at this point and something I hope to look into over the next couple of years. (although fostering seems to be more feasible at the moment and having read about the shortage in foster homes it's also an ideal opportunity to give a child a home)

SusieBlue

Yes to both. I can't think of anything I want more.

Having babies is more important to me than getting married. If I had to choose only one, babies would win every time. Although marrying my boyfriend is very important to me, I'm secure enough in my relationship that it wouldn't bother me if we just continued living together in a relationship for the rest of our lives.

old hippy

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.

You need to take them shades off, Ron. Plenty of women I know are very happy and they don't want kids. Nothing cold about them in the slightest.

Gongoozler

Nope to children. Absolutely made my mind up at that. Been thinking that through for around 6/7 years now. Never got the whole wanting babies thing. Don't understand it. Suppose like many, growing up i assumed that's what I'd be doing. But then realised one day that I don't have to. Nothing about it appeals to me. Not only that but it sounds like an awful lot of work and effort. I'd consider that work and effort for a dog, or ferret or some such delightful creature. But that will be in time, when I'm settled better.

At 29 I would be as sure as can be that I won't change my mind.

Marriage I'm fairly meh about. It doesn't say much for your relationship either way. If my boyfriend wanted to do it, I'd consider it, and it's legal implications. But otherwise I would just not bother.

donutheadhomer

Timmyctc wrote: »

I struggled for 20 mins just now over whether or not I should set my alarm for 8.56 or 8.59. And you come here asking me what I want to do with kids and shít. What is the world coming to.

it would be 6.56 or 6.59 if u had kids

Mink

Yes to both... now.

Got married at 20 in a small registry office wedding and we're together 12yrs, happy as pigs in sh1te. Didn't want kids up until 28ish, neither of us were bothered.

Then something hit a couple years later and suddenly wanted to have a kid. Now have a one yr old and have definitely found different stages hard (I'm not the nurturing earth mother type) but so glad I did. Especially now, he's such a character, mad as a box of frogs and we adore him and excited for the years to come.

Mind you I'm not bothered about having another one, mainly I'm enjoying this little fella and don't think we could afford another. But then again...

Mink

I should say that I know several older couples who never married and/or no kids and perfectly happy with their decision. You just don't know how things will go.

rainbow kirby

29 and I'd like both. Probably wouldn't have said that a few years ago, but things can and do change...

Each to their own though - whatever works and/or makes you happy.

MonstaMash

Never wanted marriage, don't want kids...I'm self centred & selfish, it's all about me...to inflict that on anyone else would be uber-selfish.

I love my independent lifestyle as is, wifey & kids would impede that & I've survived the last 48 years without by choice!

krudler

Sunglasses Ron wrote: »

How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.

so wanting someone to keep you company and look after you is a reason to have kids? jesus

I'm 32, male, and I don't want kids, I have a nephew I love taking for a day but I get to give him back lol

I hate this notion that people who choose not to have kids are "selfish", ridiculous notion.