Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Unhelpful 'gendering' of social issues

Options
11820222324

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,589 ✭✭✭newport2


    old hippy wrote: »
    "Feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings - Cheris Kramare

    "Egalitarianism is the radical notion that women and men are human beings" - Newport2


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »
    Hmmm, that is one argument.

    Although others would argue that the current feminism is conservatism that sees women as potential victims that should be protected. Whether that's saying women shouldn't wear short skirts, or men should be thought not to attack women in short skirts, it still sees women as potential victims rather than human beings.

    But, each to their own.

    EDIT:


    Yes. I do believe people are only really campaigning because of the benefits for women, but it does have equal benefits for men. So, as much as I disagree with other aims, that would have my full support.

    Although, I hope it doesn't lead into a mentality that says a stay at home dad is 'progressive' while a stay at home mother is 'conservative'.

    Yeah ha ha. A single dad is heroic, a single mother is unleashed and invalidated sexuality run amok. She is a threat.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,880 ✭✭✭iptba


    old hippy wrote: »
    "Feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings - Cheris Kramare
    This comes to mind:


  • Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

    Yes. I do believe people are only really campaigning because of the benefits for women, but it does have equal benefits for men. So, as much as I disagree with other aims, that would have my full support.

    Well in fairness many men would argue that a significant factor in the pay gap is women having children and staying at home more, so it's a bit "having your cake and eating it" if the same men then dismiss the proposal as biased. As I mentioned it stands to reason that women would benefit from more men getting paternity/parental leave, it isn't going to end up any other way.
    Although, I hope it doesn't lead into a mentality that says a stay at home dad is 'progressive' while a stay at home mother is 'conservative'.

    We are probably a bit late on that one, though I'd say the recession has helped to change some perceptions like that, just more appreciation for the stay at home parent role.
    Yeah ha ha. A single dad is heroic, a single mother is unleashed and invalidated sexuality run amok. She is a threat.

    Well I really don't know about single mothers but with single Dads being a small percentage of single parent households and the majority of them may well be widower's, there maybe some truth in the perception of men.

    I don't really see how those 2 images tie in with decisions in family courts.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



  • Registered Users Posts: 4,880 ✭✭✭iptba


    K-9 wrote: »
    GalwayGuy2 wrote:
    Yes. I do believe people are only really campaigning because of the benefits for women, but it does have equal benefits for men. So, as much as I disagree with other aims, that would have my full support.
    Well in fairness many men would argue that a significant factor in the pay gap is women having children and staying at home more, so it's a bit "having your cake and eating it" if the same men then dismiss the proposal as biased. As I mentioned it stands to reason that women would benefit from more men getting paternity/parental leave, it isn't going to end up any other way.
    The point isn't, or at least the point I was making isn't, that the proposal is biased.

    It's that it isn't being done solely to help men. There are disadvantages men face in the world and there are disadvantages women face in the world: the point some of us make is that feminism hasn't been equal in its actions. It is a movement largely about helping women. It may incidentally also help men on occasion but it can't be relied upon to do so. It's driving motivation is to help women and this example doesn't disprove it.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 14,148 ✭✭✭✭Lemming


    K-9 wrote: »
    Well I really don't know about single mothers but with single Dads being a small percentage of single parent households and the majority of them may well be widower's, there maybe some truth in the perception of men.

    I don't really see how those 2 images tie in with decisions in family courts.

    IIRC, the Corinthian (I think?) posted statistics concerning the percentge of single parents that are male, and the percentage of those that are widowers vs. fathers who have been awarded custody, roughly a year ago. The numbers were/are illuminating to say the least.


    Edit: I'm speaking crap. It was three months ago. In sequence;


  • Registered Users Posts: 37,299 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Thought I'd drop this video in here, as it seems to fit the topic rather well...



  • Registered Users Posts: 13,385 ✭✭✭✭D'Agger


    the_syco wrote: »
    Thought I'd drop this video in here, as it seems to fit the topic rather well...

    Looks very good, looking forward to giving that a watch, cheers for bringing it to out attention syco sir!


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    I fear it could easily end up a little over editorialised which could detract from its effectiveness. However, anything that demonstrates the plight of men and especially boys face can only be a good thing. George Takei share this trailer too.

    I'm certain the feminist movement will have such to say about it too.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,880 ✭✭✭iptba


    the_syco wrote: »
    Thought I'd drop this video in here, as it seems to fit the topic rather well...

    Looks interesting.
    However, it's not just other males who say things like "man up".


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 2,097 ✭✭✭kiffer


    iptba wrote: »
    Looks interesting.
    However, it's not just other males who say things like "man up".

    Absolutely not...


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,993 ✭✭✭✭JRant


    iptba wrote: »
    The point isn't, or at least the point I was making isn't, that the proposal is biased.

    It's that it isn't being done solely to help men. There are disadvantages men face in the world and there are disadvantages women face in the world: the point some of us make is that feminism hasn't been equal in its actions. It is a movement largely about helping women. It may incidentally also help men on occasion but it can't be relied upon to do so. It's driving motivation is to help women and this example doesn't disprove it.

    It is somewhat biased though, simply by its very nature. Paternity leave has nothing to do with fathers rights, from a feminist pov it is purely about career progress for women. Nor is it a fathers rights issue as far as i can see. If the law was changed to give all fathers equal rights then items like paternity leave would naturally follow. Instead they want to hold onto all the rights and be able to assign babysitting duties as they see fit.

    Another perfect example of this is in education. Girls are outperforming boys at levels that really need to be addressed, yet we are constantly told it's up to the boys themselves to catch up.

    Also for years we've been told we need more women in Engineering, my old college for example had a women only club for the advancement of female engineers. I argued at the time that such groups were counterproductive and lead to a further divide between the sexes. You're either for equality or against is was the gist of my point but I was swiftly told to mind my own business by the lecturer organising it.

    "Well, yeah, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man"



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,029 ✭✭✭um7y1h83ge06nx


    I mentioned many times on Boards that I consider myself to be egalitarian.

    To me it's a good position to take as it treats us all equally and could make real progress to achieve real equality between the sexes.

    So I am baffled when some feminists that claim to take rights and equality seriously reject egalitarianism. Could it be that some feminists have an ulterior motive and their notion of "equality" is just a smoke-screen in order to make them more palatable to society?

    After all, some feminists would lead you to believe that if you reject their views you reject equality.

    It's a very powerful position to be in for feminists, where any criticism of them results in the critic being turned on by society.

    Of course it's not a new concept, where two mutually exclusive things (feminism and equality) get tied together as one. Two that spring to mind in 20th century history are from Germany and the USA regarding patriotism and nationalism. The Nazi government lead people to believe that if they didn't support fascism and Hitler they were not patriotic Germans, they were traitors and the enemy. In the 50's and 60's the American government convinced people that anyone who didn't support them could be a communist.

    I'd love to know the private thoughts of radical feminists, the thoughts that are too extreme to make public, it might not be comforting.

    I guess it's too much to hope that we can all work together to achieve a real equality. :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    Thought I'd drop this video in here, as it seems to fit the topic rather well...

    Hmmm, hat does seem intresting. I actually agree with lots of the points raised, but I have a few sneaky suspicions about what that video will turn out to be.

    a) Men will still be portrayed as the villains. It will only be other, perhaps even 'conservative', men who are portrayed as saying man up. I'm not saying women should be portrayed as the 'villians', but not only men can be sexist or shaming towards men.

    b) It may be used as emotional manipulation of 'Believe my theory or it will lead to school shootings/other acts of extreme violence.'

    C) It mentions the links between shaming and violence. I absolutely agree with the links between shaming and violence, but I can almost guarantee that it will only mention sexual shaming in the realm of sexual shaming of homosexuality. It will not mention the fact that male sexuality is mostly seen through the lens of abhorrent sexuality. Which is the most powerful shaming force within our society.

    I like this video and I will probably support it.

    But, if it has parts that will shame male sexuality (EG: Masculinity is built around sex, and so men looking at sex materials may lead to violence inflicted at oneself or at others.) then I will critique it.

    @Supersonic

    Hmmm, I think I can answer that. Male privilege and Male Hegemony is central to feminism. So, it's quite difficult to support theories that see sexism and subordination in a way that can flow from both the supposedly dominant class and the supposedly weaker class.

    Personally, I'd rather there were more than one group of theories on gender. I have no problem against feminism, as much as my posts says otherwise, but I do believe it's needs a theoretical challenge so it will not stagnate into egotism.

    If there's any feminists here, am I right about the male privilege and male dominance being central to feminist theory?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    JRant wrote: »
    It is somewhat biased though, simply by its very nature. Paternity leave has nothing to do with fathers rights, from a feminist pov it is purely about career progress for women. Nor is it a fathers rights issue as far as i can see. If the law was changed to give all fathers equal rights then items like paternity leave would naturally follow. Instead they want to hold onto all the rights and be able to assign babysitting duties as they see fit.

    I don't know how you can make this sweeping statement like it is fact. It's not true for my family certainly. We want paternity leave for many reasons....

    For our children primarily, I don't see why they should see less of their father than their mother. Doesn't make any sense to me.
    For him, he would love to see more of them.
    For the family financial situation... I don't get paid leave, he probably would, the family would be better off.
    For my gender as a whole... because as I have noted, women don't get hired IN CASE they ever get pregnant. No matter what their circumstances.
    For me? It doesn't affect my career. I take projects as they come along, so gaps don't particularly matter.


    Another perfect example of this is in education. Girls are outperforming boys at levels that really need to be addressed, yet we are constantly told it's up to the boys themselves to catch up.
    This does need to be addressed, but there is also a corresponding difference on the other side with regard to sports participation. I suspect they are linked.
    Also for years we've been told we need more women in Engineering, my old college for example had a women only club for the advancement of female engineers. I argued at the time that such groups were counterproductive and lead to a further divide between the sexes. You're either for equality or against is was the gist of my point but I was swiftly told to mind my own business by the lecturer organising it.

    That kind of thing I agree is complete nonsense, and I refused to participate in it myself when I was in college. I found it patronising in the extreme, and yes, counter-productive.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    pwurple wrote: »
    This does need to be addressed, but there is also a corresponding difference on the other side with regard to sports participation. I suspect they are linked.

    Outside of the general health and lifestyle conditioning benefits that school sports program participants benefit from, the long term effects of the issue of boys' general inclination to be more devil-may-care (ie immature) about education means that it isn't really an opposing issue. The Leaving Cert guillotine falls for boys and girls at exactly the same time and as such, more boys will sink rather than swim.

    In my case, for example, I went to an all boys school and between being bullied and some other social issues, I fell behind in school. In my school, I was pressured to do sports which I had zero interest in and despite the school having 500 students, there was no music taught whatsoever (the only thing I was interested in in life at that stage as well as and aptitude for it) and private tuition was beyond my family at the time, I was spat out of the education system with my hands hanging to me and no inclination to do anything in particular. Meanwhile, my sister who studied music as she, too, was only interested in it, went on to get a degree in music which lead to further studies and she earned her phD last year.

    With life experience, I could look back and see that I should have gone on to do other things but I still resent that I was deprived of opportunities because I was a slightly immature (although smart) boy.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,993 ✭✭✭✭JRant


    pwurple wrote: »
    I don't know how you can make this sweeping statement like it is fact. It's not true for my family certainly. We want paternity leave for many reasons....

    For our children primarily, I don't see why they should see less of their father than their mother. Doesn't make any sense to me.
    For him, he would love to see more of them.
    For the family financial situation... I don't get paid leave, he probably would, the family would be better off.
    For my gender as a whole... because as I have noted, women don't get hired IN CASE they ever get pregnant. No matter what their circumstances.
    For me? It doesn't affect my career. I take projects as they come along, so gaps don't particularly matter.




    This does need to be addressed, but there is also a corresponding difference on the other side with regard to sports participation. I suspect they are linked.



    That kind of thing I agree is complete nonsense, and I refused to participate in it myself when I was in college. I found it patronising in the extreme, and yes, counter-productive.

    I agree there are many valid reasons for wanting paternity leave like the ones you've listed. However my point is that if the issues surrounding fathers rights were addressed first then issues like paternity leave would follow suit. Campaigning for paternity leave while fathers across the country struggle to get access to their children smacks of wanting your cake and eating it to (not directed at you personally by the way).

    I'm not sure about the sports link. Sports would be extra-cirricular in schools, exams are not. IMO the school system seems very heavily biased to the female. The majority of teachers are female, girls are seriously outperforming boys at exam time yet there is hardly a peep about this.

    Wrt to sports participation amongst females, especially young teens then a lot of this starts in the home if i'm being honest. There are plenty of options for youngs girls to get into sport. My local club has camogie and football teams set up yet struggle to get the numbers in.

    "Well, yeah, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man"



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,797 ✭✭✭KyussBishop


    ...
    After all, some feminists would lead you to believe that if you reject their views you reject equality.

    It's a very powerful position to be in for feminists, where any criticism of them results in the critic being turned on by society.

    Of course it's not a new concept, where two mutually exclusive things (feminism and equality) get tied together as one. Two that spring to mind in 20th century history are from Germany and the USA regarding patriotism and nationalism. The Nazi government lead people to believe that if they didn't support fascism and Hitler they were not patriotic Germans, they were traitors and the enemy. In the 50's and 60's the American government convinced people that anyone who didn't support them could be a communist.

    I'd love to know the private thoughts of radical feminists, the thoughts that are too extreme to make public, it might not be comforting.
    ...
    This is a very, very important point, in my view (though I may be overstating this :p), and in those two cases you see a divide/dichotomy created, in order to support power, and in those two cases the message is overtly about power.

    With a lot of other societal divides/dichotomies (pitting men/women, homosexual/heterosexual, nationals/non-nationals, public/private workers against one another), I really wonder if many of them are promoted to provide a covert way of supporting power - to distract from the more important/complicated issues in our society/economy/politics, that support power (such as economics itself - a field of study where the dominant school is, in my view, built with flaws deliberately designed to support power, and to dissuade the public from being interested in looking for these flaws).

    The British have (arguably) done this and fostered this in colonial nations in the past, as a means of controlling them (e.g. fostering ethnic divides everywhere they have previously colonized), and I think (with some of what I've mentioned above) it may be ingrained at a very deep level into our actual societies as well - just, I don't know if it's intentionally used to support power, or whether it just co-incidentally supports that, or whether it is a real lingering set of societal problems, that are just being opportunistically lengthened/exploited by some in power (which, lacking any evidence, can only be a conspiracy theory, so it's not something I believe, just wonder about - it doesn't seem totally implausible).

    Hell, a lot of our societal divides/problems that we are only slowly resolving now, have been created by the church and religion, who have wielded power in one form or another for (I think) a millenium+; who's to say it's not politically advantageous for 'the powers that be', to continue exploiting and milking the last out of these divides as well, before they are gone forever?


    What makes me especially suspicious about stuff like this, is when you see people who are extremely ideological about whatever their niche 'cause' is, and who don't seem to have any rational reason for it, and seem smart enough to know better - sure, most of them are probably just deluded in one form or another, but I wonder if some proportion of them may be deliberately proliferating ideas supporting their divisive 'cause', knowing full well that they are nonsense, in order to promote divides in society that support power.

    There's a very interesting field of study related to this called Intersectionality, which I've been meaning to learn more about.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,923 ✭✭✭Playboy


    Piece in the Guardian the other day by our very own Emer O'Toole. Attracted in excess of 1500 comments on the website. Thought it was relevant to the discussion here re feminism and equality.

    http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jan/09/not-a-feminist-move-on-men-women
    Anecdote 1: Last year, I gave a talk at the Women of the World festival about body hair and sexism. A male feminist friend watched it, and texted me to say that men are affected by similar pressures when it comes to the body, just in different ways. I replied that nine out of 10 eating disorders are suffered by women, 95% of cosmetic surgeries are carried out on women, and I had yet to meet a man ashamed of the hair on his legs. All the same, he insisted, If I'd taken account of men's experiences in my talk, I could have gained more allies.

    Anecdote 2: I am discussing street harassment with a male feminist friend. He says that men are more likely to experience violence on the streets than women. I wholeheartedly agree, then continue talking about street harassment. I'm instructed that if I expect men to be allies in the feminist movement, I can't talk about wolf whistles and arse pats when men are at risk of having their teeth kicked in.

    Anecdote 3: In the pub, a group of friends is discussing the obstacles that a girl born today may have to face as she grows up. A male feminist friend says that in his law firm women with three children are now becoming partners, and in 20 years – he can guarantee – the glass ceiling will no longer exist; the real problem, as he sees it, is male students dropping out of law degrees. The next day, he emails to say that he calls himself a feminist, and implies that if feminism is to be more than reverse sexism, men's issues must be taken into account. He includes a link to a Wikipedia entry on men and feminism.

    These are not isolated incidents, and, for the record, I respect all of these men: they are good, smart people. But I don't think I want them as allies any more than I want to start calling myself a "genderist" because Joss Whedon thinks 'feminist' sounds icky. The question for me is: why do these men describe themselves as feminists, if they feel unable to talk about women's issues without shouting 'but men!' or insisting that the movement for equal women's rights compromises its focus in order to make men comfortable?

    I have a theory. Somewhere along the line, someone came up with a pithy, witty test for feminism that might be illustrated as follows:

    Not-a-feminist-001.jpg

    And it's clever, right? I don't know who first used this trick, but Caitlin Moran riffs on it in How to Be a Woman, and Michael Kaufman and Michael Kimmel's The Guy's Guide to Feminism has a great passage (that you can listen to Kaufman narrate here), asking the reader whether he might have "caught" feminism, which is really just a variation of the above.

    The test is fun, to the point, inclusive: it gets people on board and gets more men calling themselves feminists. Allies – huzzah!

    But it's also kind of lying. You need to believe some other important things in order to be a feminist, things that might be illustrated as follows:

    Not-a-feminist-001.jpg


    Have you surprised yourself by getting a "not a feminist" result when you've been proudly calling yourself a feminist for years? Are you getting bogged down in semantics, shrugging "it depends what you mean by equality", instead of answering the questions in the straightforward spirit in which they are asked? Are you feeling excluded from an equality movement that you instinctively feel you should be a part of? Even a bit angry that you're excluded, perhaps? Are you thinking: "Fine then! If that's how you want to define feminism – fine! But – be warned – you're losing me as an ally."

    Don't be angry. You don't have to be a feminist. There are plenty of ways to be awesome without working towards equal rights for women. For example, if you answered "Who do you think is more disadvantaged by gender inequality?" with "Women, but I'm still more interested in talking about men," that's fine. Maybe, like Tom Matlack, who founded the Good Men Project, you are a pro-feminist: that is, someone who supports the goals and objectives of the movement for equal women's rights, but who is actively working on male issues. Gender initiatives like the Good Men Project move us towards a more equal society, which benefits women in many ways, just like feminist initiatives benefit men in many ways.

    And, please, if you are worrying about what feminism will do without you, stop. The feminist movement does not need you. It's doing a pretty incredible job of tackling female disadvantage without pandering to reluctant allies.

    Most of the feminists I know care about how gender inequality affects men. Of course they do – they're egalitarians. And some also work on male equality issues. But feminism is a movement that seeks to achieve equal rights for women. This focus is necessary, because we live in a world of historically and culturally inscribed female disadvantage. If you don't agree on this – if, every time someone starts talking about women's equality, you feel the urge to argue that, nowadays, men have it as bad or worse, or you secretly fear that in 20 years women will be keeping men in cages or some such, then, very simply, you are not a feminist.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,137 ✭✭✭✭Foxtrol


    Playboy wrote: »
    Piece in the Guardian the other day by our very own Emer O'Toole. Attracted in excess of 1500 comments on the website. Thought it was relevant to the discussion here re feminism and equality.
    http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jan/09/not-a-feminist-move-on-men-women

    Interesting read.
    But feminism is a movement that seeks to achieve equal rights for women. This focus is necessary, because we live in a world of historically and culturally inscribed female disadvantage.

    From reading that piece it’s clear the author isn’t looking for an ‘equal rights’ situation, by dismissing one gender her aim is clearly for women to aim for a state where women become more equal, facing neither the problem facing women or the problems faced by men.


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    JRant wrote: »
    . Campaigning for paternity leave while fathers across the country struggle to get access to their children smacks of wanting your cake and eating it to (not directed at you personally by the way).
    I don't see why both items can't be addressed? One does not exclude the other surely? They do tend to be different groups affected by each, which is probably why they are separated. Father's rights tend to be noted as missing when either the father didn't get married, or a marriage has broken down. Where paternity leave is more likely to be married fathers.
    I'm not sure about the sports link. Sports would be extra-cirricular in schools, exams are not. IMO the school system seems very heavily biased to the female. The majority of teachers are female, girls are seriously outperforming boys at exam time yet there is hardly a peep about this.
    Doing well at school work and excelling at sport both require time outside school though. That's the point I was trying to make... homework, extra study, all that kind of thing is done in time outside the school hours. If you're pushed into one, the other can suffer, just purely due to less time invested.
    Wrt to sports participation amongst females, especially young teens then a lot of this starts in the home if i'm being honest. There are plenty of options for youngs girls to get into sport. My local club has camogie and football teams set up yet struggle to get the numbers in.

    Yes, you're right here. It does start in the home. Girls are not encouraged into sport participation, and boys are pushed into it, whether they want it or not.
    cantdecide wrote: »
    In my case, for example, I went to an all boys school and between being bullied and some other social issues, I fell behind in school. In my school, I was pressured to do sports which I had zero interest in and despite the school having 500 students, there was no music taught whatsoever (the only thing I was interested in in life at that stage as well as and aptitude for it) and private tuition was beyond my family at the time, I was spat out of the education system with my hands hanging to me and no inclination to do anything in particular. Meanwhile, my sister who studied music as she, too, was only interested in it, went on to get a degree in music which lead to further studies and she earned her phD last year.

    With life experience, I could look back and see that I should have gone on to do other things but I still resent that I was deprived of opportunities because I was a slightly immature (although smart) boy.

    I encountered similar subject choice issues in my own all-girls school. My leanings were towards maths and physics. My school didn't do higher level maths, physics or applied maths. Luckily for me though, my parents were extremely pushy about this, and an arrangement was made where I was allowed to walk up the road to the local boys school every day with two other girls, to attend the 3 classes there. I don't know what on earth I would be doing with my life now if I hadn't attended those.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,797 ✭✭✭KyussBishop


    Playboy wrote: »
    Piece in the Guardian the other day by our very own Emer O'Toole. Attracted in excess of 1500 comments on the website. Thought it was relevant to the discussion here re feminism and equality.

    http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jan/09/not-a-feminist-move-on-men-women
    In this article, this is basically her representation of feminism:
    http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/1/8/1389196120102/Congratulations-feminist--001.jpg

    Take note in particular, you must believe "women are more disadvantaged by gender inequality" to be a feminist, by her standards - I think it is a lot more grey than this, and that there really isn't any kind of a way to objectively compare all of womens vs mens issues - that while there are many issues where women have it worse, that it's ok to say "I don't know" on that part and still be a feminist, because gender equality issues between men and women are actually a lot more complicated than they seem on a surface level, and there are lots of issues that aren't easily figured out.

    I think the entire generalization of "'x' side has it worse" should be entirely left out, because it's unnecessarily divisive - if you're talking about specific issues, like "women are more disadvantaged in career prospects due to paternity leave" (just an example, not a point to pick at), then that is something specific enough to actually be objective, but the entire generalization of "you must believe women overall have it worse, to be a feminist" is quite silly since there is absolutely no way to be objective about that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    pwurple wrote: »
    I don't see why both items can't be addressed? One does not exclude the other surely? They do tend to be different groups affected by each, which is probably why they are separated. Father's rights tend to be noted as missing when either the father didn't get married, or a marriage has broken down. Where paternity leave is more likely to be married fathers.

    Doing well at school work and excelling at sport both require time outside school though. That's the point I was trying to make... homework, extra study, all that kind of thing is done in time outside the school hours. If you're pushed into one, the other can suffer, just purely due to less time invested.



    Yes, you're right here. It does start in the home. Girls are not encouraged into sport participation, and boys are pushed into it, whether they want it or not.



    I encountered similar subject choice issues in my own all-girls school. My leanings were towards maths and physics. My school didn't do higher level maths, physics or applied maths. Luckily for me though, my parents were extremely pushy about this, and an arrangement was made where I was allowed to walk up the road to the local boys school every day with two other girls, to attend the 3 classes there. I don't know what on earth I would be doing with my life now if I hadn't attended those.

    My best friend growing up was not allowed to do sports because it was for boys. The people not allowing her were her own parents. :rolleyes:

    I went to school in the US. Standardised national tests were administered every year in math and English, or what they called Language Arts back then.

    Every year I performed extremely well on these tests.

    One year, I was pulled out and put in a special class for highly advanced math, some call it gifted, others call it fast learning. I was the only girl in this group of 6 students, and the only American. The other five were all boys and from nations such as Pakistan, Japan, one was a Sephardic Jew, nations where gender segregation is strong. So...these five boys would sit together, talk together, and completely ignore me. Eventually I felt like I didn't belong, I felt like an imposter, but I was too young to have the words to shape those feelings. So I quit. The result of dropping out of this was feeling like a complete chump, a loser, a quitter, and I lost an opportunity to go to a special public school for kids gifted in maths and sciences. Anyone who knows me now will find this hard to believe, given my math skills these days, but the numbers are there, the test scores are all there, and this is all on paper record somewhere.

    So what I learned from this, is that much of this was in my own head, that had I had some guidance or back up and didn't feel so isolated I could have plundered on. Was there sexism there? Probably. But no amount of academics or bureaucrats with their excel spreed sheets staring at their quotas could have solved this. It has to come from within the individual, and sometimes the barriers are there, but you can break through them, as long as you are not waiting for invitations, or let the illusion of no access stop you. What happened back then is something I really regret. And it was all my fault.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,993 ✭✭✭✭JRant


    pwurple wrote: »
    I don't see why both items can't be addressed? One does not exclude the other surely? They do tend to be different groups affected by each, which is probably why they are separated. Father's rights tend to be noted as missing when either the father didn't get married, or a marriage has broken down. Where paternity leave is more likely to be married fathers.

    Both issues can and should be addressed. Equal rights for fathers would cover the likes of paternity leave, whereas Paternity leave on it's own has nothing to do with the father been given equal rights to the child.

    Isn't that a major issue with the current setup though. To get any rights a father either needs to be married to the mother or go through the courts to have guardianship granted but only with the express permission of the mother.

    Paternity leave should be for any father, regardless of whether they are married to the mother or not.
    pwurple wrote: »
    Doing well at school work and excelling at sport both require time outside school though. That's the point I was trying to make... homework, extra study, all that kind of thing is done in time outside the school hours. If you're pushed into one, the other can suffer, just purely due to less time invested.

    That's a fair point but doesn't really explain the significant difference between the sexes in exam results. For any correlation to be taken it would need to assume that all boys play sports and no girls do, which we certainly know is not the case.
    pwurple wrote: »
    Yes, you're right here. It does start in the home. Girls are not encouraged into sport participation, and boys are pushed into it, whether they want it or not.

    I think a large part of this problem is the parents fear that their young daughter may be injured while playing sports. This kind of thinking does not apply to the sons though. Again this could be associated with the underlying mentality in society that it is okay for men to undertake high risk activities/jobs but women are seen as "precious".
    pwurple wrote: »
    I encountered similar subject choice issues in my own all-girls school. My leanings were towards maths and physics. My school didn't do higher level maths, physics or applied maths. Luckily for me though, my parents were extremely pushy about this, and an arrangement was made where I was allowed to walk up the road to the local boys school every day with two other girls, to attend the 3 classes there. I don't know what on earth I would be doing with my life now if I hadn't attended those.

    Delighted it worked out for you and fair play to your parents for pushing so strongly.

    "Well, yeah, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man"



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,797 ✭✭✭KyussBishop


    ...
    So what I learned from this, is that much of this was in my own head, that had I had some guidance or back up and didn't feel so isolated I could have plundered on. Was there sexism there? Probably. But no amount of academics or bureaucrats with their excel spreed sheets staring at their quotas could have solved this. It has to come from within the individual, and sometimes the barriers are there, but you can break through them, as long as you are not waiting for invitations, or let the illusion of no access stop you. What happened back then is something I really regret. And it was all my fault.
    Isn't the latter a bit hard on yourself though? (and the former contradicting of that?)

    I found school difficult myself, down to social issues (mixed with long-term unresolvable issues of my own, socially), and should have done a lot better than I did - I don't really blame myself for it though, as it wasn't all under my control, and I had only a limited amount of (heavily taxed) stress tolerance to deal with it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    It has to come from within the individual, and sometimes the barriers are there, but you can break through them, as long as you are not waiting for invitations, or let the illusion of no access stop you. What happened back then is something I really regret. And it was all my fault.

    I don't think you can accept an adult level responsibility for things you did when you were a teenager. Schools should do everything possible to make sure a willing student should be nurtured. Maybe that's impractical in the real world but I think you you would benefit from using different terminology than "regret" when you think back to your school days. It sounds like the unfortunate decision of a vulnerable teenagerl.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,880 ✭✭✭iptba


    JRant wrote: »
    pwurple wrote:
    Doing well at school work and excelling at sport both require time outside school though. That's the point I was trying to make... homework, extra study, all that kind of thing is done in time outside the school hours. If you're pushed into one, the other can suffer, just purely due to less time invested.

    That's a fair point but doesn't really explain the significant difference between the sexes in exam results. For any correlation to be taken it would need to assume that all boys play sports and no girls do, which we certainly know is not the case.
    I'm not sure why it would need to be all or nothing for time spent on sport to be playing a part. It isn't the case that the top 50 percentiles of points/whatever are all female and the bottom 50 percentiles are all male.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    cantdecide wrote: »
    I don't think you can accept an adult level responsibility for things you did when you were a teenager. Schools should do everything possible to make sure a willing student should be nurtured. Maybe that's impractical in the real world but I think you you would benefit from using different terminology than "regret" when you think back to your school days. It sounds like the unfortunate decision of a vulnerable teenagerl.

    I was 11. My parents where immigrants who didn't have clue about how the system worked.

    I think my point is, and it took me a long time to realise this because this regret did not emerge until much later in life, was that obstacles, inaccessibility, closed doors, are often just in our heads, and with a little bit of distress tolerance and not being afraid to by pass them, you really have a lot more access than you think, despite what the academics and the bureaucrats with their excel sheets sit around trying to tell you what you SHOULD want and what you SHOULD be pissed off about.

    This is what frustrates me about a lot of these gender discussions whether they come from the feminist or the MRA side.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    @Clairefontaine

    You know, I always like reading your posts. It's interesting to see a valuable theory from an individualist mindset. The only individualist theories we seem to see in college is from idiots or racists. I don't think college is quite as inclusive as people seem to think.

    I think I'll play feminist advocate on your class story. If that's okay, because it is a personal story. I'll edit it in depending on your answer.


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    iptba wrote: »
    Looks interesting.
    However, it's not just other males who say things like "man up".
    Meh, the "man up" thing comes from a very macho place. You can blame women if you want, but it's far, far more likely to come from men.
    That's not to say that there aren't obstacles men face due to being men that are caused by women, but the "Man up" one... really it, like the "nnnnnnice" nonsense, is something I'd place mostly on the shoulders of blokeyness.


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement