So annoyed

DBB

Okay folks, let's lay off casting aspersions on the kid, please.
This was an agreement that happened between two consenting adults, and the young lad is getting caught in the crossfire.
Do not reply to this post on thread.
Thanks,
DBB

The Sweeper

Look I think it's a bit harsh to paint the child as some sort of empathy-free sociopath who's trying to manipulate his way to computer game entertainment and is actively cruel to the dog. However he obviously doesn't care for it properly, as any young teenager might not, and his mother's had enough.

Now she feels terribly sorry, and if the kid really loved the dog (which he may have), he's probably making her life a living hell and she's crumbling and has contacted you to return the dog.

Now saying that, if it was me, I'd keep the dog.

On the face of it, with a companion pet, the ability to learn to ignore your cat (a collie/lab is a bright dog, so you have a good chance there but don't let your guard down for a second), adults who'll exercise and care for it responsibly and so on, the new dog is on a winner. If the mother had come on here stating she wanted to rehome the dog, chances are this forum would advise her not to do it, and get her to get the youngfella to step up. But that's because a home like yours is hard to find, and most dogs in that situation would end up surrendered and PTS at the pound, or in a very uncertain position with an unreliable future.

This dog is already in a safe place and a good home. The kid will get over it, and hopefully value the next dog more - and honestly I'm more worried about the mother. A woman who'd make a snap decision like that isn't necessarily the best pet owner in the world, and she is the dog's primary carer. Let them rant and get on with your own life, I'd say. It's up to that woman to wear the responsibility for what she did, tbh.

If the dog's microchip etc. is now in your name, possession is 9/10ths and all that. (Get the dog chipped in your name if he isn't already chipped).

/oops - sorry, DBB, I was typing while you'd posted and didn't see your 'lay off the kid' comment until after.

DBB

The Sweeper wrote: »

If the dog's microchip etc. is now in your name, possession is 9/10ths and all that. (Get the dog chipped in your name if he isn't already chipped).

Just to clarify, in this case, the dog was willingly handed over by the owner to a willing recipient. Legally, this means the dog 100% belongs to the OP now. No piece of paper or microchip is required to prove this, as the dog himself is considered to be the receipt for the agreement.
That's the legal story. The sensible thing to do would be to get your new dog licensed and microchipped in any case.

maggiepip

Cant believe anyone could advise you to give the dog back. The poor dog was living in a run waiting on a 13 year old child to walk it for a few minutes a day - more than likely spending 99.9% of his time alone, bored and neglected.

The responsibility for the dogs welfare and happiness lies with the responsible adult (in this case the parents)- not a 13 year old child - any responsible parent knows this. So the mother blaming the child says it all really.

Do not give the dog back OP!!! He has a beautiful home now with you and your family and he must think hes in paradise :-)

The Sweeper

Ah - could be an Ireland/Australia thing - here to transfer a pet you have to transfer ownership on the microchipping form and there have been cases where previous owners have contested ownership ("He was just minding the dog while I was on holidays!") and had their animal returned to them because their name was still on the chip papers (and because the new owners hadn't set up the dog with their own vet yet, so on.)

DBB

The Sweeper wrote: »

Ah - could be an Ireland/Australia thing - here to transfer a pet you have to transfer ownership on the microchipping form and there have been cases where previous owners have contested ownership ("He was just minding the dog while I was on holidays!") and had their animal returned to them because their name was still on the chip papers (and because the new owners hadn't set up the dog with their own vet yet, so on.)

So the system in Australia is more akin to the transfer of a car to a new owner over here? I wish they'd do the same here!
The whole giving a dog away thing, legally speaking, is exactly the same as giving away a fridge, a TV, whatever... the dog is considered an item.
The process of transferring ownership of an item in a free transfer has three elements to it, going back hundreds of years and as such is common law.
First, the owner must be willing to hand the item over.
Second, the recipient must willingly accept it.
Third, the physical act of handing the item over must occur.

At that moment, the item becomes the property of the recipient. If the ex-owner has a change of heart after the act, they have no right to the item back, and must rely only on the goodwill of the new owner to hand it back, but there is no onus to do so.

njs030

Keep the dog!!!

The child might well be upset but if he gets the dog back he'll do the exact same thing and the only difference is you've lost a furry friend.

The situation is totally the mothers fault and its very unfair to drag you into her domestic issues.

Personally i suggest deleting and block her on Facebook and move on with your life, any calls texts etc just remind her that she chose to let a dog go and he is now a part of a new happy home!!

Dodd

If you could get the Mother to explain to the child that the dog is much better off and happier where it is then if the child cares for it he will understand.
When my Son was 13 or 14 we took in a dog that would have been pts and about 10 months later my brother lost the dog.
The women that found it loved the dog so I gave it to her because we didn't have the time to give it a good life.
My son understood.

Pumpkinseeds

muddypaws wrote: »

Wow, judgemental much?

13 year old boys aren't allowed to cry? This thread saddens me in so many ways. So many assumptions being made, it's an internet forum, one side of the story is being told only.

I meant that the mother is possibly making the crying bit up to guilt trip the OP into giving the dog back. I stand by everything else, he's 13 years old not 3, I'm sure mammy will cave and buy him a new dog eventually. Reminds me of all the uproar over the dog that students in UL lured out into the road(allegedly) and that got killed. Turns out the dog was only a few months old, was out roaming unsupervised and belonged to the teenage boy. Who was so devestated by the loss of his dog that mammy ran out and bought him a new one immediately.

Animals aren't disposable and he needs to learn to take responsibility for his actions, that is something his mother should have taught him by this stage. The dog is settling in at his new home, it's an indoor dog now after living outdoors, I'd hate to think of the poor dog fecked outdoors again, especially during winter. I've no sympathy whatsoever for the original owners, teenage or adult.

The Sweeper

DBB wrote: »

So the system in Australia is more akin to the transfer of a car to a new owner over here?

Not 'officially', but it's been grounds for a contest in the past. Friend of mine went through something of an issue with their cat - formerly their housemate's cat.

kylith

While I feel sorry for the 13 year old this is, hopefully, a lesson that he will learn; a dog has to be taken care of. As for giving it back I'd be going with 'Sorry madam, all sales are final'.

cocker5

OP,

Here's what i think...

Firstly the most important "issue" here is the dogs welfare and it looks like he has fallen on his feet (paws ) with you as his new owner so well done

Secondly yes its sad for the boy he is only 13, BUT its the mothers issue / responsibility to look after the dog and her child (by teaching him manners / responsibility etc) - "if" you were to give the dog back it would be to keep the boy happy and NOT whats in the dogs best interest (I know your not doing this but im just making a point). Also IMO a dog is a "family" pet as in the whole family look after him, not just a 13 year old so if the mother wasnt interested either, again another dog "disposbale" - thank god the dog got away when he did.... otherwise he would have a life of dog pens, isolation etc to look forward to.

so moral of the story is keep the dog, he's happy (and far better off), your happy, to the mother think long and hard before getting another pet... and then giving them away so lightly...

maggiepip

The problem here is that the mother of a 13 year old boy believes that the care of the dog is the responsibility of this child!!! She also appears to believe its acceptable for a poor dog to live its life in a run once the child gives it a bit of a walk a day. Unbelievable!!! Thank heavens the dog got out of there.

The Sweeper

brianregan09 wrote: »

Funny thing though i collected him friday morning she texted me saturday (24hours later) that he was only after noticing him gone

I think this is the bit that really struck me. The husband got up this morning before me and let our dog out into the yard for the loo. I shambled out of bed 10 minutes later and stood outside the bedroom door, waiting for the dog to greet me.

No dog.

Open eyes properly. Look about. 'Where's the dog?'

'Oh he's outside in the yard for the loo, hasn't come back in yet'.

...so it took me precisely 20 seconds this morning to notice my dog wasn't where he should have been. Over 24 hours? Just wouldn't happen.

cocker5

The Sweeper wrote: »

I think this is the bit that really struck me. The husband got up this morning before me and let our dog out into the yard for the loo. I shambled out of bed 10 minutes later and stood outside the bedroom door, waiting for the dog to greet me.

No dog.

Open eyes properly. Look about. 'Where's the dog?'

'Oh he's outside in the yard for the loo, hasn't come back in yet'.

...so it took me precisely 20 seconds this morning to notice my dog wasn't where he should have been. Over 24 hours? Just wouldn't happen.

Spot on...

sligoface

Seriously those two dogs look like such a great match, does anyone really think he would be happier left on his own in a run, ie: outdoor cage? He would be missing his new buddy (OP's other dog) terribly if he were to go back there. I'd cut off all contact now that they are trying to renege on the agreement.

BonsaiKitten

Madam wrote: »

'it'?:mad:

Oh ffs, it's a dog, it's not like it will get offended by being called it.

OP - good to hear the dog has a decent home now, it'll probably be a tough lesson for the kid to learn (and he really is a kid, he's what, in 1st or 2nd year?) and hopefully if he gets another pet in the future it'll have taught him to be a better owner.
Shame on his mother for not teaching him to take care of his pets, she's the primary owner after all.

kopfan77

I seriously cant believe people are actually advocating that the OP should give the dog back....what the hell!!

So the dog should suffer because the kid shows interest only when the dog is gone...and by the way it took him 24 hours to realise the dog wasnt there any more....and despite the fact that the mother has confirmed that she gave him multiple opportunities to change his ways and walk and care for the dog which he chose to ignore.

I dont care if people say this is the normal attitude of a kid this age...if thats the case then thats the problem with kids these days!! He aint gonna change is ways and give it a couple of weeks it'll be the dog sitting unwanted in the run again when he could be in a quality home being cared for

Also the fact that he was stuck up on donedeal for 20quid also says a lot....just wanted rid!!

OP, I say the dog is yours....you sound as if you are already giving him a better life than he had and for that reason, thats all that matters to me

stoeger2000

Text the mother the link to this thread, see if she sees sense then.

NewStart!

Exact same thing happened me OP took in a pup from a now ex friend who thought having a 8 week old pup in an apartment alone for 12 hours a day every day was a great idea. She had the pup 4 days and then I was phoned to take it now I've no clue what would have happened if I hadn't drove to get her that night but Id say it wouldnt have been a good outcome. Que 3 weeks later her screeching that she wanted it back ! And now that it was "older" it could be left in the neighbors garden for the day until she came home ! Needless to say the dog is still with me being spoilt !
OP dont give the dog back to a life of being shut in a cage in isolation or when the mother decides to teach him a lesson again and the poor dog end up in a pound or in unsavory hands. If she really cared re-homing him through donedeal for near nothing wouldn't have been the way to do it. The dog is lucky you took him off donedeal Enjoy him/her and delete the her of fb !

brianregan09

Just a little update haven't heard anything from them regarding the dog now since tuesday night fingers crossed that this is the last of it, Dog is settling fantasticly himself and Gypsy spend the 1st 2 hours of the day today rolling around on the floor playing with each other so happy days

ferretone

inocybe wrote: »

Helping yes, but not having sole responsibility. If the dog was left in a run all day this is the adults fault. I feel sorry for the kid, he has a pretty poor parent. She doesn't sound like someone who should own a dog either, very caring to rehome it through done deal.

I agree that this family doesn't sound at all suitable as a home for a dog. But not that a child of that age is necessarily unfit for the sole responsibility for one.

Both my sister and I had been given our own dogs before that age, but only after we had, jointly, proved ourselves capable of assuming the care of the 2 dogs the family had already. This was before the internet era, so we used the local library to read every book about dogs we could get our hands on. Dog training ideas were much more primitive than now, but our instincts were pretty good, and we were capable of managing any day-to-day issues with our small dogs kindly, yet effectively.

The whole setup doesn't sound anything like as nice for a dog as ours had back in the day, but there again, as others have pointed out, this poor sweetie was very obviously nowhere near as important to that boy as our dogs were to us either. If my sister or I had come home from school one day, and our dogs hadn't run to greet us, we would have panicked immediately!

I don't think I'm unduly criticising this boy, but at the same time, there's no way he was anything like ready to be given responsibility for a live animal, although his age was not necessarily the reason for this lack. I do hope he learns his lesson, but at the same time would wish that he is not given another pet until he has matured considerably. Ideally I'd hope it's only considered once he has his own home and is fully mature, as the parents are obviously unfit to see that a pet is cared for themselves.

monkeysnapper

The dogs in the right place , the previous owner sounds like they probably have excepted the loss of their dog. I don't think there's anything that would convince the op to give up the dog and that's good, pity more people didn't have the same love for their dogs.

DeVore

The Sweeper wrote: »

...so it took me precisely 20 seconds this morning to notice my dog wasn't where he should have been. Over 24 hours? Just wouldn't happen.

Omg.... 20 secs... you lucky b***h
I pray for the day when I get 20 seconds of not knowing exactly where Josh is. Which is right beside me. With a ball. Whinging that we arent in the park.



Keep the dog, the adults aren't the ones going to be locked in a cage.

Ashbx

Nice Botty wrote: »

Maybe just give back the dog?

No way, why should she have to give the dog back? She should keep the dog where its is actually wanted!!!!