What does "Dry Drunk" mean to you?

harmoniums

I haven't had a drink in 10 months.
I was never mean or violent or anything, nice to a fault if anything when drinking
My wife has commented that since quitting I've become quicker to anger and just downright meaner.
Shes right, I try to police myself, but I really can be c**t.

I've been told this is a thing with folks that quite drinking but don't truly get to the bottom of it all, they are dry drunks.

I'm wondering if this is me too.

Carpet diem

harmoniums wrote: »

I haven't had a drink in 10 months.
I was never mean or violent or anything, nice to a fault if anything when drinking
My wife has commented that since quitting I've become quicker to anger and just downright meaner.
Shes right, I try to police myself, but I really can be c**t.

I've been told this is a thing with folks that quite drinking but don't truly get to the bottom of it all, they are dry drunks.

I'm wondering if this is me too.

I'm quite an amateur here but I think to me its means the underlying issues are there without the drink.

I think that is where the where the steps come in handy particularly 4 and 5.

Every time I have an argument I usually let things cool down and reflect on things and its usually me apologizing :-) but also telling her why I got mad and by doing that things have really got better and I'm not keeping things bottled up.

Hope it helps a bit

xzanti

I think... and this is just me..

That when someone gives up drinking, they are suddenly faced with the things that they once used to 'drink away'..

Problems in relationships, friends who we suddenly see as toxic or who don't have our best interests at heart.. and we can become resentful or even angry.. Often the anger is really at ourselves for letting the issue go on for so long.

You say there are things that you haven't "gotten to the bottom of".. Maybe now is the time to get to the bottom of them.. now that you can see everything much clearer..

Best of luck.. and well done on the 10 months

xzanti

xzanti wrote: »

I think... and this is just me..

That when someone gives up drinking, they are suddenly faced with the things that they once used to 'drink away'..

Problems in relationships, friends who we suddenly see as toxic or who don't have our best interests at heart.. and we can become resentful or even angry.. Often the anger is really at ourselves for letting the issue go on for so long.

You say there are things that you haven't "gotten to the bottom of".. Maybe now is the time to get to the bottom of them.. now that you can see everything much clearer..

Best of luck.. and well done on the 10 months

This

If we used drink to deal with situations when the drink is taken away we are left with the situations and in most cases we don't know how to deal with them. How do you fix this? Talk to someone, be it a counselor, another non drinker or a group. This helps, the thing about any disease of the mind be it depression, alcoholism, drug addiction it convinces us that we can do everything by ourselves which is so far from the truth. We all need help

oneforthe maybenot

harmoniums wrote: »

I haven't had a drink in 10 months.
I was never mean or violent or anything, nice to a fault if anything when drinking
My wife has commented that since quitting I've become quicker to anger and just downright meaner.
Shes right, I try to police myself, but I really can be c**t.

I've been told this is a thing with folks that quite drinking but don't truly get to the bottom of it all, they are dry drunks.

I'm wondering if this is me too.

honestly? I wouldn't read too much into it, your most likely a far more pleasant person than you were when you were on it...

for me 'dry drunk' is generally used by AA members to define a person who is sober but doesn't attend meetings or isn't a part of AA. it's hard to win with them, if you aren't a part of it youre one of three things 1. a drunk and a lost cause who may never "get it" 2. completely batsh*t crazy but don't drink 3. a 'dry drunk' i.e. somebody who is able to stay sober but can not enjoy life the way AA members do.

don't read too much into it, we all snap and we all get p*ssed off...its being human and most likely has zero to do with the fact that you dont drink anymore.

Mickey Dazzler

oneforthe maybenot wrote: »

honestly? I wouldn't read too much into it, your most likely a far more pleasant person than you were when you were on it...

for me 'dry drunk' is generally used by AA members to define a person who is sober but doesn't attend meetings or isn't a part of AA. it's hard to win with them, if you aren't a part of it youre one of three things 1. a drunk and a lost cause who may never "get it" 2. completely batsh*t crazy but don't drink 3. a 'dry drunk' i.e. somebody who is able to stay sober but can not enjoy life the way AA members do.

don't read too much into it, we all snap and we all get p*ssed off...its being human and most likely has zero to do with the fact that you dont drink anymore.

This.....

Its just AA speak. The more zealous members can't get their heads around the fact that some people can and do give up the booze and lead normal lives without AA. Because they are so brainwashed into the AA doctrine that AA is the only way to lead alcohol free life they have to denigrate those who achieve sobriety without AA.

Dont pay it any attention to it.

(PS. I am a member of AA)

Sunnyisland

It could/can also be used to explain or excuse all sorts of "normal" human emotions such as restlessness, boredom, anger, impulsiveness, envy, hunger, impatience, etc.

I think it is better, at least for me, to embrace the feelings, acknowledge them, and then see what positive thing can be done to change or if not to accept that I am a human and not a saint.

Someone who is no longer drinking but is not happy with life. This person usually still has his/her alcoholic mindset but not the alcohol ,taking out the alcohol but not changing anything else is what "dry drunk" is all about.

bluefinger

Imho its a term that describes a person who may have given up but hasn't done some work on themselves. There's a massive amount of adjustment when you take this step and it can stir up lots of feelings, personal challenges and gives you space for plenty of introspection. Personal development is vital I feel for those who give up as it can meet a lot of these new need s. I would favour counselling, mindfulness, bibliotherapy and night classes.

Carpet diem

bluefinger wrote: »

Imho its a term that describes a person who may have given up but hasn't done some work on themselves. There's a massive amount of adjustment when you take this step and it can stir up lots of feelings, personal challenges and gives you space for plenty of introspection. Personal development is vital I feel for those who give up as it can meet a lot of these new need s. I would favour counselling, mindfulness, bibliotherapy and night classes.

What's this --->[bibliotherapy]

mathepac

Carpet diem wrote: »

What's this --->[bibliotherapy]

Gaining insight / learning / knowledge / wisdom through reading.