Awkward Dilemma!

Missyelliot2

My 10 year old has just been asked to a party, which will be a cinema trip to a 15A movie. I really don't want him to go, as I think it's not suitable. He doesn't enjoy anything scary and I feel I'm in a bit of predicament.
I'm friends with his mum, but don't know how to refuse this invite, without sounding like finger wagging shrew! :rolleyes:(I do enough of that at home!)

I am hoping the cinema will refuse entry....but feel like that's just passing the responsibility.
Thanks in advance!

Fittle

My 11yr old had the same dilema last week, except foolishly, I didn't realise that the movie was over 15s! It was also a horror - possibly the same movie - and he went with his friends and a parent - most of the kids are 13/14 and tall but the cinema still let my lad in, although it's pretty obviousl he is nowhere near 15!

My lad is traumatised ever since - has to leave the light on at night, 'afraid' of everything!! He hates horrors too!

Honestly, don't put your kid through it - these movies are 15s for a reason. Just tell the mam that he's too young, I wouldn't worry about upsetting her - she will probably be delighted she has one less child to pay for;)

January

Because it's 15A the cinema will not refuse entry, the A means advisory, so if they have an adult with them they will more than likely get it.

Just tell them you have something else on that day. Make up a cousins party or something.

silverharp

just say you have arranged something else so no need to lecture the other parent, it would be worse if your child was singled out by the cinema staff

Missyelliot2

Fittle wrote: »

My 11yr old had the same dilema last week, except foolishly, I didn't realise that the movie was over 15s! It was also a horror - possibly the same movie - and he went with his friends and a parent - most of the kids are 13/14 and tall but the cinema still let my lad in, although it's pretty obviousl he is nowhere near 15!

My lad is traumatised ever since - has to leave the light on at night, 'afraid' of everything!! He hates horrors too!

Honestly, don't put your kid through it - these movies are 15s for a reason. Just tell the mam that he's too young, I wouldn't worry about upsetting her - she will probably be delighted she has one less child to pay for;)

Thanks so much for your reply! I think mine sounds similar to yours. I think I'll make up something - just hope my bundle of joy won't squeal on me (Will have to make up something I can follow through on!!!)

Missyelliot2

silverharp wrote: »

just say you have arranged something else so no need to lecture the other parent, it would be worse if your child was singled out by the cinema staff

Wasn't planning on lecturing at all. Just wanted him not to go. TBH I am sure that some of the other parents must feel the same. There's just 5 invited and just hate letting her and him down (the two are really good pals!)

silverharp

Missyelliot2 wrote: »

Wasn't planning on lecturing at all. Just wanted him not to go. TBH I am sure that some of the other parents must feel the same. There's just 5 invited and just hate letting her and him down (the two are really good pals!)

if its a numbers thing just let her know that your child wouldn't be happy going to the movie and to be fair I cant imagine that many 10 year olds would enjoy a 15's horror movie. your option might be to take him to a parallel movie and join them afterwards maybe. I assume its Insidious 2?

Missyelliot2

silverharp wrote: »

if its a numbers thing just let her know that your child wouldn't be happy going to the movie and to be fair I cant imagine that many 10 year olds would enjoy a 15's horror movie. your option might be to take him to a parallel movie and join them afterwards maybe. I assume its Insidious 2?

No....it's "Prisoners" (which having seen the trailer, is far more terrifying!!)

silverharp

Missyelliot2 wrote: »

No....it's "Prisoners" (which having seen the trailer, is far more terrifying!!)

I must say I'd pass , I cant even imagine why teenagers would find it interesting

What parents need to know


Parents need to know that Prisoners is a brutally intense crime thriller/revenge film starring Hugh Jackman. Characters make unthinkable choices to find their missing kids, and there's frequent bloody violence. In addition to the central kidnapping of two little girls, people are shot and killed (or kill themselves), beaten to an unrecognizable pulp, and tortured in various ways. One man shoots himself in the head, and a police officer must shoot a suspect. There's frequent strong language ("f--k," "s--t," "a--hole"), as well as excessive alcohol use by adults and some use of pills and other drugs. The movie's disturbing themes and unflinching violence make it best suited for adults and possibly some very mature teens.

Missyelliot2

silverharp wrote: »

I must say I'd pass , I cant even imagine why teenagers would find it interesting

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Was that from IMDB??? Seriously, am wondering if she read the reviews - that's pretty shocking!

silverharp

Missyelliot2 wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Was that from IMDB??? Seriously, am wondering if she read the reviews - that's pretty shocking!

I didn't see a parent review on IMBD just now but it just seems like a movie aimed at adults regardless of the suitability or not for teenagers

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/prisoners

Sharon mc

As you are friends with the mom, i assume she would know you and your son quite well by now. Could you not just say that your son would have nightmares if he watched that movie and that your not comfortable with it? I dont think many parents would take offence to that. I had the same prob recently for my sons 11th birthday except from the other side. I had promised we'd go to world war z which had a 12's rating in America but ended up being 15a here. I texted the parents of the children first to see if they were ok with it. Most were, 1 wasnt. I was actually very uncomfortable that it was a 15a movie but i did seek other parents opinions before we went ahead with it.
In your case honesty is probably the best policy. Your friend may change it to a different movie, or it may be possible for your son to join the party for a bit and come home at the cinema time, or the other parents may feel the same as you so that some of the other children are not available to go either? You dont have to sound like a shrew!! You dont even have to let on that your uncomfortable with it, blame it on nightmares!

Fittle

My son went to Insideous 2....never again!!

huskerdu

silverharp wrote: »

I didn't see a parent review on IMBD just now but it just seems like a movie aimed at adults regardless of the suitability or not for teenagers

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/prisoners

Just heard a review of Prisoners, Can't believe that a parent is thinking of taking a group of 10 year olds to it, not just being prudish, its an movie about child abduction, aimed at adults and its 2 1/2 hours long.

Dont worry too much about it, It quite simple, its not an awkward dilemma at all. Its not suitable for 10 year olds because of the subject matter, the violence and the length. Just tell her nicely that your son does not want to go to a 2 1/2 hour movie about child abduction.

thesimpsons

just wondering if the cinema let in the 10yr olds to see the movie or did the party parent change the movie?
read the review on the link provided - think even 15yr olds might have a problem with this one, seems more like an 18 movie to me

Missyelliot2

thesimpsons wrote: »

just wondering if the cinema let in the 10yr olds to see the movie or did the party parent change the movie?
read the review on the link provided - think even 15yr olds might have a problem with this one, seems more like an 18 movie to me

He's not going to the party. It's way too scary and unsuitable. I thought about the cinema refusing entry too. I know the cinema here is pretty strict....

ElleEm

I went to see Prisoners last night, it is such a dark film. Two parents arrived in with two kids who were about 4/ 5 years old. I was shocked at their choice. Every time a scene came on, be it cursing or violence, I couldn't help wonder how the little ones were managing. I jumped a few times during the film, and even if those kids were half watching or playing with ipads or whatever, the movie would still have effected them.

stargazer 68

I saw prisoners last week. An excellent movie but definitely not for 10/11 year olds!! Very dark and violent. The language is choice too!

The Princess Bride

Don't make something up.
If the other mother finds out, it could ruin your or your child's friendship, as she might feel you just didn't want him to go.
Just be honest, and tell her that you've heard it's not suitable for young children and that you'd rather not take the risk.

Then, perhaps, suggest that her child comes around to yours for an afternoon instead.
That way, she'll see it's the film that is the issue, not the children spending time together.

I have friends, and I wondered at them in the past, as they used to let their children watch absolutely anything and everything on/in tv/cinema.

Different standards-but your child is your priority.
On this occasion? Honesty is the best policy.

njs030

I agree with just being honest. Tell the truth and say you looked up the film and you'd be worried about nightmares but you hope they enjoy it and maybe your son could meet up with them all afterwards?

I would hesitate at letting my 14 year old watch it to be honest!!

Penny Dreadful

I saw Prisoners at the weekend and in no way is it suitable for 10 year olds. I would even question 15 year olds going to see it.

Its a great movie but it is dark, uncomfortable, unpleasent in many places and not even close to be suitable for 10 year olds.

OP I'd just tell the mother that your son can't go. If pressed say you don't think the movie is suitable. My nephew had a birthday party a while ago (his 10th) and was having a sleep over with friends and they were going to watch Skyfall on DVD. One of the other boys wasn't allowed to stay for the movie as his mum didn't feel it was suitable. No harm caused, he came to the other part of the party and he was collected after tea and before the movie started.

Missyelliot2

Well.....we didn't go (he had a football match at 6). I don't know how the movie went, but am sure I was not the only one with misgivings. After the horrible news from Athlone over the weekend, I am just relieved.