thurs funums

MonkieSocks

I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday.

He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?"

I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to fook off."

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A gay guy I work with came up to me today and said,

"I wish I was your wife."

I said, "No, you don't - she never takes it up the arse."

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As the wife and I headed off on a romantic vacation we talked about what kinky things we'd like to do to each other.

She said, "I've always wanted to be hand cuffed"


So I planted a kilo of cocaine in her suitcase.

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The wife is pissed off with me again

Last night while she was fast asleep I gently swapped her Tampax for a party popper, leaving the string hanging out just enough for her to pull.

Honestly no fookin sense of humour what so ever!!

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This guy's in the rear of a full Hotel elevator and he shouts, "Ballroom please."

A lady standing in front of him turns around and says,

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."
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What do you call a tall guy who can masturbate 10 times in a single day?






No, it's not a joke -- I need to know what to put on my Facebook profile.