Struggling Fresher ...

Dontnonfstuff

Awkward one this..My 18 yr old daughter (my eldest) is finding it so hard to settle into TCD.Most of her school friends are going to UCD or other colleges and she is a little bit 'lost' without them. She is country girl at heart but is well travelled and of course loves Dublin, fashion , music and GAA etc but she hates pretentious or posh people and thinks that many of the Trinity Students are a bit like this.

She has no accommodation so far and had not expected to be commuting. It's not that we live so far away but it prevents her from joining much of the social and sporting activities that would help her to make friends.

She is losing her bottle a bit and thinks she may have made a big mistake going to Trinity. (She is studying BESS ). Any ideas anyone ? Thank You!

baby and crumble

Dontnonfstuff wrote: »

Awkward one this..My 18 yr old daughter (my eldest) is finding it so hard to settle into TCD.Most of her school friends are going to UCD or other colleges and she is a little bit 'lost' without them. She is country girl at heart but is well travelled and of course loves Dublin, fashion , music and GAA etc but she hates pretentious or posh people and thinks that many of the Trinity Students are a bit like this.

She has no accommodation so far and had not expected to be commuting. It's not that we live so far away but it prevents her from joining much of the social and sporting activities that would help her to make friends.

She is losing her bottle a bit and thinks she may have made a big mistake going to Trinity. (She is studying BESS ). Any ideas anyone ? Thank You!

My advice to her would be to get stuck in to a society, if she can. I didn't really make any friends in my course at all, all of them were from societies. I met my GF in a society 10 years ago, and I am still in contact with a lot of the others too. It's a great place to meet like minded people who'll share your interests and preferences. There's a lot of societies that meet during the day for activities, so even if she's commuting she should be able to find something.

In all honesty, most people in TCD are not "posh". However, a good proportion of those people studying her subjects could be. Plus if she's a fresher, she's in with other freshers who are probably trying to make themselves look like they know more about everything than they really do. We all did it, but sometimes it can make you seem like a complete knob-end, especially to someone sensible!

argan

I'm in my 3rd year now and I've only begun making real friends. BESS is a massive class and if you're a shy person it can be almost impossible to make some good friends as "cliques" do form really quickly. I'm a country girl myself and it is still so strange to me seeing hundreds of girls coming in dolled up in Chanel to sit in a stuffy lecture hall!haha

Joining societies is probably the best idea as you have a fresh start and don't have the awkwardness of shaking hands with someone you've seen loads before and haven't had the gawl to talk to!

I assume you have been in contact with Trinity Hall for accommodation? Even now in case people have dropped out? Just that it sounds like it'd be ideal for her.

I could give various vague advice about this but she will need to make an effort to talk to the person beside her in lectures, just random chat. Clubs and societies etc. Are great for this too. It's going to feel odd but its a good experience and an amazing place to be.

Unshelved

Haven't you posted this before?

Tragedy

Unshelved wrote: »

Haven't you posted this before?

It was a double post, someone bumped this up after a few days.

Hardly the OPs fault.

argan

Dónal wrote: »

I assume you have been in contact with Trinity Hall for accommodation? Even now in case people have dropped out? Just that it sounds like it'd be ideal for her.

I could give various vague advice about this but she will need to make an effort to talk to the person beside her in lectures, just random chat. Clubs and societies etc. Are great for this too. It's going to feel odd but its a good experience and an amazing place to be.

Actually the Halls thing is also a problem. I couldn't afford to live in Halls my first year and that's where people really make their friends I think. If you can afford it, it would probably solve the problems she's having.

Gadfly Girl

Hi OP,

I think it's totally normal for her to feel this way, it's very early days. The BESS lectures are huge but her smaller tutorial classes should be starting shortly these can be a better place to meet people. Trinity is different to other places in my experience it really takes getting involved with societies to meet like minded folk. Be sure to get her to link in with her 'P2P' Peer 2 Peer support person, in fact I know someone doing it for BESS this year if you want to pm feel free. Tell her to hang in there and give it time. It's a whole world of new experiences all at once and can be very overwhelming. I'm more than happy to meet her for a coffee some time if she'd like.