Long termers TTC

Lucyfur

So sorry, Bilbot. It's so unfair

bilbot79

brokensoul wrote: »

I am so so sorry to hear this bilbot.

It might not help to hear this today, but we have been where you are now, 2 years ago we had missed miscarriage. Hardest thing I have ever gone through. Like ye we had frozen embryos. We now have 12 month old twins.

Huge hugs.

I've been telling my wife your story though it's a little raw at the moment. She's noticed that when she talks to a man iee, dad, dad in law etc, it's all about how the future can be better but when she talks to her mum or sister it's about this baby as opposed to our eventuality of you like.

I think she's grieving the baby she had whereas I'm grieving the future I could have had. I'm having a beer now and she is upstairs in bed after passing the inevitable. While deep down I believe we will eventually succeed I can't get past our bad luck. We went from nothing to odds of 97% chance of going full term yet miscarried.

Sickening but that's what this process is, we're simply not getting out easy and I accept that.

I'm going to be a dad, that's all I have to say.

ford2600

bilbot79 wrote: »

I've been telling my wife your story though it's a little raw at the moment. She's noticed that when she talks to a man iee, dad, dad in law etc, it's all about how the future can be better but when she talks to her mum or sister it's about this baby as opposed to our eventuality of you like.

I think she's grieving the baby she had whereas I'm grieving the future I could have had. I'm having a beer now and she is upstairs in bed after passing the inevitable. While deep down I believe we will eventually succeed I can't get past our bad luck. We went from nothing to odds of 97% chance of going full term yet miscarried.

Sickening but that's what this process is, we're simply not getting out easy and I accept that.

I'm going to be a dad, that's all I have to say.

I've never posted here before but somehow spotted this.

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's a really difficult time; especially given how much energy you and your wife invested in trying to be parents and how much you want to be.

On our 3rd IVF in 2013 we lost our baby girl in week 7. It was very different for both of us but equally devastating.

The only advice I can give for now is
*grieve as best you can
*be kind to yourself and to each other
*take help from people who are sensitive to your loss
*take one day at a time and give yourself time do deal with your loss

I bolded a bit of your post; that's really important to hold onto. I held onto it for 7 years and so did my wife.

Illness meant my wife could never have children and we had to give up on IVF and go with surrogacy but we got there and now have a beautiful 4 month old baby boy. We lost his beautiful twin brother after two days and I have no words to describe that loss.

Given how much you want it you will make a great father. It's worth all the effort and tears

Take care of yourself and best of luck

brokensoul

bilbot79 wrote: »

I've been telling my wife your story though it's a little raw at the moment. She's noticed that when she talks to a man iee, dad, dad in law etc, it's all about how the future can be better but when she talks to her mum or sister it's about this baby as opposed to our eventuality of you like.

I think she's grieving the baby she had whereas I'm grieving the future I could have had. I'm having a beer now and she is upstairs in bed after passing the inevitable. While deep down I believe we will eventually succeed I can't get past our bad luck. We went from nothing to odds of 97% chance of going full term yet miscarried.

Sickening but that's what this process is, we're simply not getting out easy and I accept that.

I'm going to be a dad, that's all I have to say.

I think in general men want to be able to provide a solution so it makes sense to me that she would experience different reactions from the men and women in her life.

I think my husband was similar to you in that he didn't see our miscarriage as the loss of a baby so much as the potential of a baby whereas for me she was a real baby. I think that is probably natural. I would remember the anniversary of the day we lost her more easily than he would. Not that he doesn't care, but just it is more ingrained in me.

I got pregnant quite quickly after the MMC and my twins were born 1 year and 2 days after we lost the baby. If someone had told me that the day we lost her though it wouldn't have done a damn thing to comfort me. It takes time to grieve the loss, and to gather yourself together again before moving on but it sounds like you have great strength.

I will keep ye in my thoughts/prayers.

babydream

So went for Acupuncture last night, explained I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet but just sick of being in pain and so tired from it. She was so lovely and said she wanted to concentrate on trying to regularise my cycles. Explained it will get worse before it gets better.

She started placing needles and then bang one goes in on my belly and im screaming in pain all down in my right pelvic area, she had to remove the needle and massage the area for a few minutes. Im still a bit tender there today but its bearable, she reckons there is a possibility there is a blockage on that side. Ive to go back weekly for the next couple of months. I actually slept all last night never woke with any pain, jumped out of the bed this morning and for the first time in months I actually feel normal

So if I get nothing else out of it only a decent nights sleep every week ill be happy!!

Farmerstatia

Hi everyone.
Haven't posted in a long time.
Started our first ivf cycle.
Had egg retrieval yesterday. Got 7 follicles.
Got the phone call that 6 fertilised. .so fingers crossed all will keep going good.
On for implanting on sat ..

Meathcat7

Farmerstatia wrote: »

Hi everyone.
Haven't posted in a long time.
Started our first ivf cycle.
Had egg retrieval yesterday. Got 7 follicles.
Got the phone call that 6 fertilised. .so fingers crossed all will keep going good.
On for implanting on sat ..

Best of luck with that!

Neyite

Best of luck Farmer!

bilbot79

Farmerstatia wrote: »

Hi everyone.
Haven't posted in a long time.
Started our first ivf cycle.
Had egg retrieval yesterday. Got 7 follicles.
Got the phone call that 6 fertilised. .so fingers crossed all will keep going good.
On for implanting on sat ..

Good luck Missis

lashes34

Best of luck farmer, hoping it all works out for you.

babydream

Farmerstatia wrote: »

Hi everyone.
Haven't posted in a long time.
Started our first ivf cycle.
Had egg retrieval yesterday. Got 7 follicles.
Got the phone call that 6 fertilised. .so fingers crossed all will keep going good.
On for implanting on sat ..

Best of luck keeping everything crossed for you

Farmerstatia

Morning people's. .
How is everybody getting on..
Had egg transfer yesterday. ..one blastocyst was transferred. .so we have hands fingers toes crossed during the ttw xxx

Fingersandtoes

Farmer I hope you are feeling well and wish you both the very best of luck.

Like you I have everything crossed. I had day three transfer this morning. I never thought with my low AMH that I would get this far. It was an unbelievable gamble but we both felt we had to try all avenues. I don't want to be sorry that I didn't try hard enough. So I'd one folicil. It's the most I've had and it looks like the most I'll ever have. The consultant I'm under in Repromed is the same consultant I was seeing in Sims. This helped us as he knew our background and I find him easy to talk to.
So from my one folicil, they got one egg which fertilised. They've rang me daily to tell me what a good egg it is. Everything was as it should be and the transfer was fine. It wasn't sore. It was like an IUI or a smear.
Obviously we are hoping it's positive and I will stay positive. I'm relieved we got the chance to take the gamble. I'll keep everything crossed. Hope all of you are well

Farmerstatia

Fingersandtoes.
I'm wishing you the very best of luck and keeping fingers crossed for ya both...
Lots of baby dust for you xxxx

Farmerstatia

Hi gals and guys..
So three days after transfer ...the days are dragging...
Feeling crampy though and talk about flatulence!!
I dunno I feel like it hasn't worked at all but still hoping that it might have..

lashes34

Wishing you both the best of luck.

Lucuma

Best of luck Farmerstatia and Fingersandtoes. Everything crossed for ye both

bilbot79

Farmerstatia wrote: »

Hi gals and guys..
So three days after transfer ...the days are dragging...
Feeling crampy though and talk about flatulence!!
I dunno I feel like it hasn't worked at all but still hoping that it might have..

My wife was so shocked with her BFP. In the days previous she was like ' I know my body, I know what's coming' and low and behold the BFP. I know you're racking your brain trying to interpret symptoms but it is of no consequence, the BFP is preceded by period like symptoms. Tis a numbers game unfortunately.

Fingers and toes crossed for you!! (I'm turning into a big girl on this thread)

Farmerstatia

So tested this morning anyway and it's a bfn. ..feeling gutted and upset but what can you do...the last two mornings though I've been waking up near vomiting and have been really sick so I dunno..anyway here's to trying at least xx

Fingersandtoes

Farmerstatia wrote: »

So tested this morning anyway and it's a bfn. ..feeling gutted and upset but what can you do...the last two mornings though I've been waking up near vomiting and have been really sick so I dunno..anyway here's to trying at least xx

I'm so sorry. I know only to well the hopes and dreams that go into an attempt. There's nothing I can say except that I'm thinking of you. Look after yourself xxx

bilbot79

Farmerstatia wrote: »

So tested this morning anyway and it's a bfn. ..feeling gutted and upset but what can you do...the last two mornings though I've been waking up near vomiting and have been really sick so I dunno..anyway here's to trying at least xx

Sorry. Our first transfer failed and the second one took.

brokensoul

Farmerstatia wrote: »

So tested this morning anyway and it's a bfn. ..feeling gutted and upset but what can you do...the last two mornings though I've been waking up near vomiting and have been really sick so I dunno..anyway here's to trying at least xx

Ah, I am so sorry. Tis really tough to deal with the BFN. Huge hugs.

Farmerstatia

Thanks everyone..
So I checked the bfn again and I thought my eyes were playing tricks but the faintest positive line has appeared so now I'm totally confused..I tested yesterday and got a negative so I know all the shots are out of my system ...but the test has changed and the faintest little line is slowly getting stronger???

bee06

It could be an evaporation line (sorry, I hate dashing your hopes but don't want to give false hope either). If I were you I'd get a first response or a clearblue. There's no ambiguity with those.

When did the clinic tell you to start testing btw?

Farmerstatia

bee06 wrote: »

It could be an evaporation line (sorry, I hate dashing your hopes but don't want to give false hope either). If I were you I'd get a first response or a clearblue. There's no ambiguity with those.

When did the clinic tell you to start testing btw?

Hi bee..

I hope it's not an evaporation line fingers crossed. .
They said I could test today..they gave me two hpt to test with one was negative and the other started showing a faint positive after a bit of time. .I'm seven days after egg transfer today with a 5 day blastocyst so I dunno if its still too soon.
I'm heading to the chemist to get some first response testsanyway sojust hoping and praying xxx

Toots

If it's 7 days after a 5 day blast would that put you at the equivalent of 12 dpo? I first response could give a more accurate response. What sort of test did they give you?

Farmerstatia

Toots wrote: »

If it's 7 days after a 5 day blast would that put you at the equivalent of 12 dpo? I first response could give a more accurate response. What sort of test did they give you?

The one they gave me is called alere hcg 25..

Toots

A first response would be more sensitive than that one - it's the 25mIU/ml test and 1st response detects as low ass 6mIU/ml. Do you have a pic of the two you took?

Farmerstatia

Toots wrote: »

A first response would be more sensitive than that one - it's the 25mIU/ml test and 1st response detects as low ass 6mIU/ml. Do you have a pic of the two you took?

I took a first response and it's saying negativery. 😢😢

Here a pic of the the other tester

bee06

I have my fingers crossed for you anyway. Try tomorrow morning first thing. The HCG will be more concentrated then.