Long termers TTC

bilbot79

Thanks guys. I was just ranting, at my wit's end here. Looking for answers where there are none.

fits

I’m really sorry bilbot. I’m a bit like you as I’m a scientist and I absolutely researched the hell out of things and we didn’t get as far as IVF either. My husband would be more like your wife. There are merits to both approaches to be honest.

I’m sorry it’s not working out for you so far. It’s so hard.

Fingersandtoes

LCD wrote: »

After 3 failed FET I am right now nursing Lucy. Born on the 15th. Attempt number 4 of FET worked.

I know how incredibly lucky & blessed we are. I also know IVF is not a fairytale & not everyone on the IVF journey will be as lucky as us. "Just relaxing" doesn't work & people say the most insensitive things.

Unfortunately is no magic tip that I can share as to why it finally worked for us. I've met plenty of couples who tried longer than us. I also can't say "never gave up" because after attempt 3 I was done & couldn't face it again. Only for Mrs LCD did we try with our last 2 remaing frozen eggs.

Seen her now is a bit surreal. I just never thought I'd be here (here being 5:30am pacing the halls of the Rotunda with a baby that hasn't slept in 13hrs). However with a bit of luck we are.

All I can say is just keep hoping & do what's best for your marriage & well being

LCD, massive congratulations to you both. I was on the way home from work last night and randomly thought of you so said I'd check had you posted. I can't begin to imagine the happiness (and tiredness!!) that's in your house now that your daughter is home. Enjoy and cherish all those cuddles with your baby. I'm delighted for you both. I don't know you from Adam but I've read your tough journey here and it's always wonderful to see a very happy ending. Take lots of pictures of the three of you and enjoy your first Christmas with
Lucy.

Fingersandtoes

Bilbot79
I'm so sorry that you didn't get a positive. I know how disappointing it is.
I can relate to your post. I've done one TSi, three IUI's and one IVF. All had most of the same build up with injections but the IVF nearly broke me. I'm a strong woman but the hormones did crazy things to my emotions. It was so hard and so much goes into it physically, mentally and emotionally. It left me drained and the heartbroken look on my husband's face will stay with me forever. All through this both of us put on a normal face to the rest of the world.

My husband is always looking up other things that may help. I don't do much research as sometimes he drives me mad with all he finds! I would be very annoyed if his sperm was being investigated now as like you we were always told it was excellent and I'd be frustrated that it hadn't been investigated at the start. Could you talk to the doctor alone?


LCD wrote this line at the end of his good news.

All I can say is just keep hoping & do what's best for your marriage & well being[/quote]

I think it's so true. This journey is incredibly hard and heartbreaking. It's a road I never thought I'd be on especially as I have secondary fertility problems. It puts a massive strain on a relationship and life in general. I cry and get it all out of my system very often! We talk a lot and I encourage my husband to shed a tear.
Keep positive and do what's best for your relationship.

Lucuma

Bilbot it's such a rough hand of cards you've been dealt, rant and rave away, that's what safe spaces like this are for! 
If it wasn't for the massive sums of money involved it sounds like a typical scientific process of elimination. Do the basic testing first, and based on that try X. If that doesn't work try X again. 
Ye weren't able to conceive naturally but with IVF ye were able to achieve a pregnancy twice (albeit the 2nd you describe as a chemical pregnancy but still) so it brought you further than you ever got before but not over that final hurdle. 
So the next step would be to delve deeper and see if they can bring you over that final hurdle. As I say it sounds logical if it wasn't for the massive cost.

Nerd Queen

Hope everyone is doing ok and keeping positive! It can be a hard time of year!

LCD

As a new parent you seem to come into contact with a lot of other new parents. The one think I constantly here is that how with the lack of sleep, feeding etc. it is the hardest thing they have ever done.

I always just think, no where near as hard as IVF.

babydream

Nerd Queen wrote: »

Hope everyone is doing ok and keeping positive! It can be a hard time of year!

Was just thinking about this yesterday when I was out shopping and it seemed every person I seen was pregnant or had a new baby. Im really trying to stay positive this week and enjoy the Christmas build up but its so hard. As I even type this im fighting back the tears:(

My Hubby keeps saying 2018 will be our year so heres hoping

Hope everyone else is doing ok xxxx

bee06

babydream wrote: »

Was just thinking about this yesterday when I was out shopping and it seemed every person I seen was pregnant or had a new baby. Im really trying to stay positive this week and enjoy the Christmas build up but its so hard. As I even type this im fighting back the tears:(

My Hubby keeps saying 2018 will be our year so heres hoping

Hope everyone else is doing ok xxxx

Babydream, I actually started crying when I read your post. I remember feeling the exact same way last year. I had a friend who had a baby in December after getting pregnant accidentally. I just felt like life was so unfair.

I’m currently sitting on my exercise ball trying to encourage labour to start as I’m due tomorrow. Wishing you and everyone else on the thread all the best for 2018 xxx

babydream

bee06 wrote: »

Babydream, I actually started crying when I read your post. I remember feeling the exact same way last year. I had a friend who had a baby in December after getting pregnant accidentally. I just felt like life was so unfair.

I’m currently sitting on my exercise ball trying to encourage labour to start as I’m due tomorrow. Wishing you and everyone else on the thread all the best for 2018 xxx

Ah bee that's great news hopefully you go soon and have your little bundle of joy for xmas will make it all the more special xxx

CCCHIA

bee06 wrote: »

Babydream, I actually started crying when I read your post. I remember feeling the exact same way last year. I had a friend who had a baby in December after getting pregnant accidentally. I just felt like life was so unfair.

I’m currently sitting on my exercise ball trying to encourage labour to start as I’m due tomorrow. Wishing you and everyone else on the thread all the best for 2018 xxx

Thank you for this bee06, I need to hear these good new stories. 2017 has been sh1te, I look forward to 2018. My friend has just had a baby after tcc for ONE MONTH!! and while I only wish everyone the best, I feel like screaming when she tells me how hard it is ..... I know everyone's struggles are relative - I would give anything to be in her position. Anyhooo - my silver lining is that I can tuck into a few baileys over the festive period and 'try' and take my mind off things. I too cannot stop crying but I'm trying to remain strong so that I don't ruin everyone's Christmas when all I want to do is hibernate. Here's to a happy and eventful 2018 and fingers crossed we'll all be sitting on exercise balls trying to encourage labour during the year xxxx.

Wishing you the very best of luck bee06

bee06

People don’t understand unless they have actually been through it and they can be so insensitive without meaning to be. I remember speaking to my friend listening to her story about getting pregnant by mistake for the umpteenth time. Little did she know, that same morning I had been at the fertility clinic for a scan to find out that my Clomid dose hadn’t worked that month for my ovulation induction. It’s a rotten feeling to feel jealous or bitter in a situation when you want to be happy for someone. Take care of yourself and enjoy the Baileys!

bilbot79

I'm done comparing us to normal people that get pregnant easily. It just leads to frustration.

Fingersandtoes

LCD I agree completely. I'm lucky to know with a toddler but yes the tiredness isn't the hardest part it's the struggle to get there. That struggle mentally is huge.

I'm joining all of you staying positive. I got four comments this week about the big gap I'm leaving between children. At this stage it'll be at least five years. If the fools thought before they opened their mouths they'd realise noone really leaves a five year age gap. It's the last thing I want.
As for those that get pregnant accidentally or after a month, I literally find it impossible to cope with them.
Best of luck Bee and enjoy Christmas.
Happy Christmas to you all and hopefully 2018 will be a lucky year for all of us

Nerd Queen

Best of luck Bee! Ye it can be tough, i have 2 family members having babies in Jan and people just keep asking when are ye going to have a baby? You have been married almost 3 years surely its time ye started thinking about it was what 1 person said. Its like well we have been trying for over 2 years thanks very much! Why do people feel they have a right to a) know and b) comment.

I finally feel in a good place with this but 2 years have been pissed away trying to use physio to sort out what is now deemed to be a physical structural issue as opposed to vaginismus. So I’m going for a hymenectomy in 2018 hopefully and that will be a big part of our current issues out of the way.

Keep the head up Babydream, Bilbot, CCHIA and Fingersandtoes! 2018 will be all our year!

lashes34

babydream wrote: »

Nerd Queen wrote: »

Hope everyone is doing ok and keeping positive! It can be a hard time of year!

Was just thinking about this yesterday when I was out shopping and it seemed every person I seen was pregnant or had a new baby. Im really trying to stay positive this week and enjoy the Christmas build up but its so hard. As I even type this im fighting back the tears:(

My Hubby keeps saying 2018 will be our year so heres hoping

Hope everyone else is doing ok xxxx

Babydream Im really hoping 2018 brings you guys some good news.

After years of trying, surgery, injections and treatments our little girl was born on Sunday. Honestly never thought the day would come and Im hoping it does for everyone still trying on this thread.

Its a ****ty journey and no-one should have to go through it. We're nearly 13 years together and nearly 5 of those married, I was so sick of people asking us when we're having kids, I really don't understand why anyone would ask that.

CCCHIA

lashes34 wrote: »

Babydream Im really hoping 2018 brings you guys some good news.

After years of trying, surgery, injections and treatments our little girl was born on Sunday. Honestly never thought the day would come and Im hoping it does for everyone still trying on this thread.

Its a ****ty journey and no-one should have to go through it. We're nearly 13 years together and nearly 5 of those married, I was so sick of people asking us when we're having kids, I really don't understand why anyone would ask that.

AAAWwwww Lashes34 - such a fab Christmas present!!! Congratulations on the safe arrival of your little baby girl. Enjoy this very lovely time xoxoxoxo

ford2600

I don't read this thread very often but thought of ye today.

We spent 7 years trying to start a family and Xmas was rough and got worse as the years went by.

I lost my father in 2011 and ime that loss was the only thing as difficult, prior to this year, as our trouble with fertility. Years of repeated failed treatments is very very hard, the fact that it is often suffered silently in the shadows makes it worse.

It can be very different for either partner so try to be kind to yourselves and each other; if you have a trusted friend/sibling lean on them a little to.

If you can afford it maybe get a few days away somewhere to escape.

Survive in the now and make a plan for your future.

If there is any upside to this, I know I'm a better/stronger man today than I was 7 years ago and a much better father to my little boy than I would have been if it came easy.

All the best to everyone

bilbot79

Congratulations lashes. That's nice to hear.

bilbot79

Paid hundreds for a battery of tests. Karyotyping etc. Haven't got results yet.

Got a really really faint line at 8dpo this month....all natural...

If it's not bogus it would be 2017's major plot twist after 4 years of ttc and 2 failed IVF cycles.

fits

Oh crap bilbot. Really really rooting for you.

Fingersandtoes

Fingers crossed for you

Lucyfur

Besta luck! Many times treatments can kick start natural fertility!

catrionanic

Best of luck bilbot - that would be a wee Christmas miracle for you all. Keep us updated

bilbot79

Probs bad news. Test next day also super faint and this morning temperature dropped. Think it's all over for this one but interesting that we managed to fertilise on our own after all this time.

Lucuma

That is major progress Bilbot!

bilbot79

AF arrived one day early!

Now Mrs Bilbot thinks she was feeling symptoms because she wanted it so bad.

The early test was ever so slightly coloured at the top and bottom but maybe it was something else...no way of knowing.

Soldier on as they say!

babydream

How was everyones Christmas? I found it tough this year, two friends announced there pregnancies and of course im delighted for them but also incredibly envious at the same time.

Im having my Lap, HSG and Hysteroscopy in two weeks so hoping that might show why we have been unsuccessful in TTC.

Here is hoping 2018 is everyones year

CCCHIA

babydream wrote: »

How was everyones Christmas? I found it tough this year, two friends announced there pregnancies and of course im delighted for them but also incredibly envious at the same time.

Im having my Lap, HSG and Hysteroscopy in two weeks so hoping that might show why we have been unsuccessful in TTC.

Here is hoping 2018 is everyones year

Happy New Year!! Best of luck with your procedures Babydream! Yup had to endure a good few baby announcements and arrivals of new babies (weirdly I cant handle announcements but I'm actually ok when I hear of someone whose already had the baby). I had an appointment with the fertility clinic on the 2nd and I set out 'my plan' - I've already had one failed IUI and one cancelled IUI so I have asked if I can do just ovulation induction (with injectables) for a couple of months with a possibility of converting to IUI. If no joy by the summer then its on to IVF - I need to get my head around that, I know physically I will be ok but I need to work on the emotional side.

I also took a break from all fertility convos/stress over xmas and ate and drank to my hearts content - its been over 20 months of watching everything I eat/ guilt about drinking/ fear of hot tubs (I know that this is mostly a male thing to avoid) and paranoia about every twinge - it was actually liberating, I needed it, I needed to be me for a while and I needed to be the person that my husband married. We had fun albeit I am now suffering from sugar and alcohol withdrawals :D:D

I really hope 2018 is a better year - If we are still in this position by next Xmas, we are packing in our jobs, renting out the house and travelling South America - obviously fingers crossed that plan doesn't come to fruition but nonetheless I need to have some alternative plans in place.

Long post over and I wish everyone the very best on their journey xx

babydream

CCCHIA wrote: »

Happy New Year!! Best of luck with your procedures Babydream! Yup had to endure a good few baby announcements and arrivals of new babies (weirdly I cant handle announcements but I'm actually ok when I hear of someone whose already had the baby). I had an appointment with the fertility clinic on the 2nd and I set out 'my plan' - I've already had one failed IUI and one cancelled IUI so I have asked if I can do just ovulation induction (with injectables) for a couple of months with a possibility of converting to IUI. If no joy by the summer then its on to IVF - I need to get my head around that, I know physically I will be ok but I need to work on the emotional side.

I also took a break from all fertility convos/stress over xmas and ate and drank to my hearts content - its been over 20 months of watching everything I eat/ guilt about drinking/ fear of hot tubs (I know that this is mostly a male thing to avoid) and paranoia about every twinge - it was actually liberating, I needed it, I needed to be me for a while and I needed to be the person that my husband married. We had fun albeit I am now suffering from sugar and alcohol withdrawals :D:D

I really hope 2018 is a better year - If we are still in this position by next Xmas, we are packing in our jobs, renting out the house and travelling South America - obviously fingers crossed that plan doesn't come to fruition but nonetheless I need to have some alternative plans in place.

Long post over and I wish everyone the very best on their journey xx

Im the exact same, the announcement kills me and pregnant women but once the baby arrives im fine, my sister is having her first any day now and im so excited for her, was insanely jealous when she told me and even had a little cry when I got home. But cant wait for bubs to arrive now

I did the same thing this Christmas, drank as much as I wanted, ate what I wanted and really enjoyed it at the time, finding it hard to get back on track though.

Hopefully everything works out and you will have a little bundle of joy soon. IVF appears to be a very emotional journey and one you both should be really ready for. I watched that program babymakers and found that I finally started to understand how emotional a journey it really is.