Long termers TTC

Neyite

TomeeTipee wrote: »

Well, we got the call this morning to say that our little embryo didn't make it, so that's it I'm afraid.

I really don't know where we go from here. We had 3 antral follicles starting out this cycle which is more than I usually have (normally have 1 or 2), so really felt that this would be our best shot. I know we all say it only takes one egg, but the reality is that it takes 1 good egg. The doctors told me before we started that our chances of success are low because of my low egg numbers. They went through all the stats with me - not all follicles give mature eggs, not all eggs fertilise, not all fertilsed embryos cleave and not all cleaved embryos will make it to blast. To get through all these stages, they really like to see at least 5 follicles so I start each cycle at a disadvantage.

Sorry for the moan, just feeling very down about it all. I don't know how many more cycles we can realistically afford. We will have to see what advice they give us at our review meeting in a few weeks and then make some tough decisions.

I'm so sorry to hear that Tommee. I'm not going to give trite suggestions about your options because I know little about IVF technology but what I would say is take these few weeks, or at least one week, until the review meeting to mind yourself, trying not to think about your options or about money for now. You've been through a lot of medical poking and prodding, the hormentals, and a lot of stress and disappointment. So if you can, lots of good food, autumn walks on the beach, sleep, and try to (NOT gonna say relax, lol) recuperate.

And moan away here - thats what our thread is for

Big big hugs to you.

nemo32

Tomee, just wanted to say how sorry I am, there's nothing more heartbreaking when this process doesn't work. Take time for you and your dh to get over this before making any big decisions, hopefully your clinic will have some ideas of how to get you that longed after bfp xx

barbiegirl

Really, really sorry Tomee, it's heart breaking when it doesn't go as planned. Rest up and consider your options when they talk to you. Big, big hugs

I know for us, if we don't get the quality of eggs we need next time round then they are suggesting donor eggs. This is hard for me to take, but I have to consider it.

angeldelight

Ah Tommee I'm devastated for you - look after yourself

TomeeTipee

Thanks everyone for the support, as always. Neyite, I think you are spot on, we need to take some time and not even think about our next step for a little while. We are hoping to go away for the weekend now and try to relax a bit and just spend some time as a couple, not obsessing over this. When we're ready, we'll see about booking a review appointment and then decide on our next step.

Lucyfur

Ah Tomee I'm devastated for you

Massive hugs for you and your other half. Be good to yourselves xx

bobskii

sorry to hear that tommee x

Cooperspale

TomeeTipee, I am thinking of you.
Moan for as long as you want.
It's so hard going through this and getting a bad result. I remember the first time I saw my husband cry was our second ivf fail & that upset me even more.
I agree with Neyite, just try and detox it of your system even if only for a weekend, focus on yourself, do something you enjoy, eat something nice.
For me, each failure toughened me up a little. IVF is not the quick solution which is being portrayed on tv, magazines etc. I remember mum telling me to watch some random ivf thing on TV3 in May when I was visiting, like that would fix my issue. Here it's advertised on radio on my morning commute. People who are outside of it find it difficult to comprehend.
It is a process which is harrowing and all consuming & you are completely at the beck & call of your clinic, so a lot of it is beyond your own control.
My heart goes out to you, I've been there 6 times.

My ohss got worse so I've had to start clexane blood thinner to stop any possible DVTs or lung clots, yet another needle. I have finally gotten a positive but levels are low and this ohss is tough going so I'm very nervous

nemo32

Cooperspale, It's never easy is it.. even when you get that long awaiting BFP it's not straight forward. I hope the ohss backs off and gives your little fighter/s a chance. I'll keep everything crossed for you, you deserve this so much, like everyone on this very hard and long road xx

Neyite

Cooperspale, very tentative congrats to you on your positive. I'm keeping you in my thoughts that you will continue to stay positive and your OHSS calms down for you.

TomeeTipee

Copperspale, I'm just seeing your news now as I was away over the weekend. Delighted to hear you got a positive test. I hope everything is ok with your ohss and that you are doing ok xx

barbiegirl

Coopersdale remember pregnant until proven otherwise. Fingers and toes crossed congratulations

Chemistry3

We have been trying for 6 years now, both 32. I have been classed with male infertility. My morphology always has been 2% so they have suggested going straight to IVF with ICSI. My count is about 10 million, motility is 40-60% rapid progressive and we have age on our side, so not all is lost, but since It has been so long TTC and my morphology is not changing at all, they have only suggested one treatment for us. We have discussed it and we do not believe in assisted methods of reproduction(IVF or Sperm Donation in our case) based on religious(not a natural conception) and ethical grounds(Embryonic abuse). For now, we are just going to live life and relax a bit more and you never know....Good luck to all those who also go through this turmoil of TTC

Neyite

Chemistry3 wrote: »

We have been trying for 6 years now, both 32. I have been classed with male infertility. My morphology always has been 2% so they have suggested going straight to IVF with ICSI. My count is about 10 million, motility is 40-60% rapid progressive and we have age on our side, so not all is lost, but since It has been so long TTC and my morphology is not changing at all, they have only suggested one treatment for us. We have discussed it and we do not believe in assisted methods of reproduction(IVF or Sperm Donation in our case) based on religious(not a natural conception) and ethical grounds(Embryonic abuse). For now, we are just going to live life and relax a bit more and you never know....Good luck to all those who also go through this turmoil of TTC

Chemistry have you researched natural supplements to improve quality? There are some such as Maca or dietary changes to increase zinc that may be compatabile with your beliefs? One of our posters wrote a very interesting post about it, which might be a starting point for you. Napro can be an option for some religious couples however that focuses on female issues, and they deal very little, if at all, with the male side of things, so thats not really an option for you either.

pwurple

Our morphology results were similar, we were also advised to go for icsi. While we were saving up for it, Husband went on mega health kick (high zinc, gave up alcohol, tea, coffee, sugar. Dropped jogging, took up different sports). His morphology improved in 6 months. Dealt with my own cycle issues separately, and eventually conceived.

stickybean

Girls can I ask you a question please, this will have TMI - just an advance warning.

I've to go for my day 3 and 21 bloods (for the 4th time), I started spotting on Wednesday (brown) and have been spotting since, I rang the hospital to ask them do I count this as day 1, they said no, it has to be red (fresh blood), I have just been to the loo there and had some clots (again still brown).

Anyone any idea what this could be? I have very irregular periods as it is, so I am no on CD 39 (my cycle is generally 26-35 days so this is a very long one).

Sorry for all the info, but wasn't sure who else I can ask x

Neyite

stickybean, have you tested at all?

I think that its probably just your period starting but taking its time?

stickybean

Hi Neyite,

I haven't tested, after 3 years and countless BFN's I have started to wait it out and normally by then it comes.

I think you are right, it is the start, but it's just a strange colour and consistency, was wondering if any of you guys have had this before? I very very rarely get any form of spotting.

xxx

Neyite

I rarely got it too, but every once in a while I'd get a spring-clean type of period that would be slightly different, heavier, more painful, and last longer. Usually happens a few times a year for me.
Then the following cycle is my usual one.

pennyloves

Congratulations Cooperspale, I can only imagine the mixed emotions you have at the moment. Have faith that your little mite will hold on, you deserve it so much.

Tomee, you have been in my thoughts all week. I hope you are feeling a bit better each day. You will get there x

Cooperspale

In limbo. Beta not going up how clinic wants, another scan & bloods tomorrow to look for ectopic.

TomeeTipee

Oh gosh Cooperspale, I'm so sorry to hear that, especially after everything you've already been through. I really hope it works out for you, you're in my thoughts. Look after yourself xx

pennyloves, thanks for thinking of me. I'm doing a bit better and have made an appointment for my review in a few weeks so we will see what they say then and decide on our next step. Have you made any plans to try ivf again?

stickybean, sorry this is probably a bit late for you, as you have probably had your day 3 bloods done by now. I don't usually have spotting either, but every now and again I have a funny cycle like that as well. In terms of what constitutes day 1, each clinic differs slightly in their definition, but usually if you don't have red bleeding or full flow before 3 pm, the following day will be day 1. I don't think it is the end of the world if day 3 bloods are done on either day 2 or day 4, so you should be fine once you get them done in and around day 3.

Hollywood130

Hope you'll be ok Cooperspale, fingers crossed for you xxx

Stickybean, could it be implantation?

stickybean

Hey girls so the dreaded witch came full blown on Saturday, but I had three days of the most unusual spotting before hand, big clots, I rang the hospital (only because I was due for day 3 bloods) and they said wait till I see "fresh red blood", then count from then.

So yesterday I went in and had my day 3 bloods and another (forth), internal scan. This was the most detailed I ever had. I was in with the scanner for over 20 minutes and she took over 15 picture, she said there was over 20 follicles on my right ovary and 12-15 on my left, and this is a good sign...

So the OH has to go for his semen analysis later this month and I have my day 21 bloods then we are meeting the fertility specialist in Oct.

After 3 years I am hoping we are getting closer to an answer...

ahaaha

Coopersale I hope everything is going ok for you. You are in my thoughts.
Tomee I hope you are doing ok and taking the time you need to process it all.
Stickybean I hope you are feeling more positive and get all the answers that you need. The not knowing can be so tough. Wishing you all the best x

Neyite

I'm out this month. But I wasn't expecting to get upduffed on the first Clomid month so that's ok.

Lucyfur

Has anyone read/followed The Fertility Code?

Neyite

Lucyfur wrote: »

Has anyone read/followed The Fertility Code?

no, what is it?

Lucyfur

Neyite wrote: »

no, what is it?

From what I can gather it's a diet overhaul, a mountain of supplements and vitamins and a different approach to exercise. I've just ordered the book

Neyite

Lucyfur wrote: »

From what I can gather it's a diet overhaul, a mountain of supplements and vitamins and a different approach to exercise. I've just ordered the book

Ah, cool. I think I mentioned to you before that I was given a link to studies where a gluten-free diet improves fertility chances.

I'm interested in what the book has to say!