Long termers TTC

carolinespring

How is everyone getting on this week. I had 2 friends phone me over the weekend to say they are expecting. Always like a slap. No tears which was good.

Lucyfur

carolinespring wrote: »

How is everyone getting on this week. I had 2 friends phone me over the weekend to say they are expecting. Always like a slap. No tears which was good.

Lol me too!!

I'm good Really good I try to look at all the expectant mums as a blessing

Clomid hasn't affected me badly...yet. I feel fine. Mental dreams but still find my husband attractive to it's all good :pac:

How are you Caroline?

Hollywood130

I'm good, I done the White Collar Boxing for the Irish Heart Foundation, the fight night was Friday gone, I had 8 weeks of training x 4 days per week, I went into the ring thinking positively, told myself I had a job to do and that was to win and I did! So so happy, not only that I raised €800 for the charity so now my thinking is if I can do all that I can get pregnant, positive thinking this month, lots of exercise and no time to stress! Good Luck everyone!

Penny Dreadful

Hollywood130 wrote: »

I'm good, I done the White Collar Boxing for the Irish Heart Foundation, the fight night was Friday gone, I had 8 weeks of training x 4 days per week, I went into the ring thinking positively, told myself I had a job to do and that was to win and I did! So so happy, not only that I raised €800 for the charity so now my thinking is if I can do all that I can get pregnant, positive thinking this month, lots of exercise and no time to stress! Good Luck everyone!

Wowzers! Well done you! Very impressed.

Hollywood130

Thank YOu Penny, I signed up to it to take my mind of the pregnancy thing, it worked for 2 months! I got fitter and changed my diet! So if I succeeded with that who knows whats next!

Penny Dreadful

Hollywood130 wrote: »

Thank YOu Penny, I signed up to it to take my mind of the pregnancy thing, it worked for 2 months! I got fitter and changed my diet! So if I succeeded with that who knows whats next!

Stupid work has the site blocked (what would I do if they blocked boards.ie:eek::eek:).
It sounds great, I think I'd like to give that a go. Where did you do it? Do you do actual sparring? Have images of coming into work with black eyes and a broken nose and trying to explain that away:D

Hollywood130

Haha, yes we done alot of sparring, thankfully I got neither a black eye or a broken nose, they teach you early on to defend so it's ok, I done it in Sligo but I know they go around the country doing it, check out Big Heart Fight Night Challenge on Facebook, that's where I seen it and signed up. They don't through you to the wolves or anything they pair you with someone who has the same ability as you really, a challenge but nothing you couldn't handle. It really is great fun, you meet lots of lovely new people and it's great to keep the mind occupied! I have lots of bruises on my arms but that's all, no girls got their noses broken, one of the boys did but they were pretty viscious! I would recommend it, thinking of doing it again next year!

Penny Dreadful

Hollywood130 wrote: »

Haha, yes we done alot of sparring, thankfully I got neither a black eye or a broken nose, they teach you early on to defend so it's ok, I done it in Sligo but I know they go around the country doing it, check out Big Heart Fight Night Challenge on Facebook, that's where I seen it and signed up. They don't through you to the wolves or anything they pair you with someone who has the same ability as you really, a challenge but nothing you couldn't handle. It really is great fun, you meet lots of lovely new people and it's great to keep the mind occupied! I have lots of bruises on my arms but that's all, no girls got their noses broken, one of the boys did but they were pretty viscious! I would recommend it, thinking of doing it again next year!

Bruising I'm fine with. I bruise like a peach anyway so I'm generally covered in them somewhere. I have "who have the most bruises" contests with my 6 year old niece. The black eye business would be quite something at a Monday morning meeting. Especially as until recently my husband worked in the same place as me - imagine the stories that would fly around if I arrived in looking like that. :eek:
I think boxers have really nice bodies - strong and fit, boxing works out every single part of your body which is brilliant.
I'll look it up when I get home this evening.

Hollywood130

Yeah it was great, I feel so much better in myself, sorry it's over now, won't know what to do with my time, I've started doing boxercise which is great fun too, just so tired this week, think all the training and the fight caught up to me over the weekend and just hit me like a tonne of bricks! Really feel like I've achieved something though, feels so good afterwards, I'm my own worst enemy so when I won it was such a rush!

Hollywood130

Have any of you had an HSG done through x-ray? I have to phone to book mine once I get my next period. Is it painful? Does it take long? I had my tubes checked in 2012 during a cystectomy and they were fine, got referred to another consultant and she wants them checked again

Neyite

Hollywood130 wrote: »

Have any of you had an HSG done through x-ray? I have to phone to book mine once I get my next period. Is it painful? Does it take long? I had my tubes checked in 2012 during a cystectomy and they were fine, got referred to another consultant and she wants them checked again

I had one. I posted on this on the Chat Thread the day I had it done. The procedure itself takes a minute or two.

Hollywood130

Thanks Neyite, just had a read of it there, that helps alot, can't wait to get it done so I can just rule that out, wish I knew what the problem was, it's so hard, everyone keeps saying it me 'ah it's just not your time' and 'whats for ya won't pass ya' getting sick of those comments now...

martin_g

Nobody laugh please, I am a man and i was just looking here at boards about people trying to conceive, Myself and my wife are 10 years trying, this year we decided to look for help, we were both sent for tests, mine were fine, my wife has a problem producing something which is required (Not sure of name off top of my head begins with P) and one of her tubes has a bend or narrowing, she was given clonmid and we sent on our way, 4 months down the road no joy test results where the same, this time we went back and were told they would double the dosage and more tests! We have been told we will more than likely be sent to rountda for IUI if this doesn't work, we both feel its leading down the road of IUI, just wondering if anyone else has done this? We are both cracking up as i am 35 and my wife is 30, I have even gone to counselling its getting to me that much, i agree with people here there nothing worse than hearing people say it not your time, or itll happen when it happens, life can be unfair at times thats for sure.. but i suppose you have to live and hope.

Penny Dreadful

martin_g wrote: »

Nobody laugh please, I am a man and i was just looking here at boards about people trying to conceive, Myself and my wife are 10 years trying, this year we decided to look for help, we were both sent for tests, mine were fine, my wife has a problem producing something which is required (Not sure of name off top of my head begins with P) and one of her tubes has a bend or narrowing, she was given clonmid and we sent on our way, 4 months down the road no joy test results where the same, this time we went back and were told they would double the dosage and more tests! We have been told we will more than likely be sent to rountda for IUI if this doesn't work, we both feel its leading down the road of IUI, just wondering if anyone else has done this? We are both cracking up as i am 35 and my wife is 30, I have even gone to counselling its getting to me that much, i agree with people here there nothing worse than hearing people say it not your time, or itll happen when it happens, life can be unfair at times thats for sure.. but i suppose you have to live and hope.

Welcome. Its a lovely thread here where people laugh (not at each other), moan, scream, cry, share funny stories, get and give advice and share experiences.
Its very nice to have a man join us too I think. While the majority of the grunt work (in a physical sense) falls to the woman its important to remember that the men want these babies just as much as we do and there is an emotional fall out for both people concerned.
I can't answer your questions re: IUI and the like as I haven't had to try that as of yet. We're at the semen analysis, blood tests and probably pelvic scans soon stage. I just wanted to welcome you to the group.

Neyite

martin_g wrote: »

Nobody laugh please, I am a man and i was just looking here at boards about people trying to conceive, Myself and my wife are 10 years trying, this year we decided to look for help, we were both sent for tests, mine were fine, my wife has a problem producing something which is required (Not sure of name off top of my head begins with P) and one of her tubes has a bend or narrowing, she was given clonmid and we sent on our way, 4 months down the road no joy test results where the same, this time we went back and were told they would double the dosage and more tests! We have been told we will more than likely be sent to rountda for IUI if this doesn't work, we both feel its leading down the road of IUI, just wondering if anyone else has done this? We are both cracking up as i am 35 and my wife is 30, I have even gone to counselling its getting to me that much, i agree with people here there nothing worse than hearing people say it not your time, or itll happen when it happens, life can be unfair at times thats for sure.. but i suppose you have to live and hope.

Nobody will laugh here. It might be prolactin or progesterone that begins with P that they test for?

I did 3 rounds of Clomid, and was successful on the third. But I'd already started to do my research on IUI. But maybe other posters have direct experience of it and be able to give you advice.

Doubling the dosage is standard procedure for Clomid if there is no result after a few months.

barbiegirl

Welcome martin. We had III and it was fine. Clomid from day 3, then they take her in to scan and track the egg, about day 12. If they are happy she does the trigger injection. The following day you go in do your business, they clean it, she comes back in and it's injected into her. That's it relatively painless.
Fingers crossed for you.

Melissa30

I have my follow up appointment in UCHG on Monday. Will find out results of AMH and the next step. So nervous but just want to know.

martin_g

Best of luck Melissa30

Hollywood130

Good Luck Melissa. I'm attending there in the new year also!

carolinespring

Feeling very upset today. We should be back trying again but just didn't last night, had a crap weekend.

It was my Mum's birthday at the weekend and we went to a family dinner. My auld cow of a aunt makes a comment about how "we" have no family and that Christmas is not for the "likes of us" only families with Children. I looked at her and said "are you saying that Husband and I are not a family or that we would only be if we had children" The auld bag says you are selfish in your ways and spoiled by the good life to have had a family. You like the high life. I repeated are you saying "are you saying that Husband and I are not a family or that we would only be if we had children" so she goes "I am" I told her she would want to think long and hard on that cop on.

Well, that went pretty hard. I just got up and walked out. I could hear my husband going for F**k sake. on the long drive home I was trying to be upbeat but feeling far from it and my husband comes out with " Another f**king Christmas with the same old s***e, I was sure we would have a baby" I said I know and he was ranting about my aunt and what a cow she was and I was saying yes, she is but she had a hard life with limited life experience, that she is thoughtless and mean, has no social graces and it broke out to World war 3. We never row but dear god. it was the mother of all rows. Ended with us not talking. Only just talking now. Which was very hard as we never row.

We should have been back on duty last night but not a chance, We are both to raw. The stress is getting to us and we are so aware of my age. Of course we all know people who have kids in mid/late 40's but it gets harder

Wasn't made any better yesterday when I bumped into a girl I know who had to tell me how lucky I am that I don't have to worry about the cost of Christmas and the pressure of having kids and the worry of them. That I can head where I please. I did point out nicely that this wasn't the case and everyone has there own problems and she should not comment like that. Which to be fair to her she did take on board.

Also my best friend is coming home from Canada with her husband and 4 kids on the 19th. I am good Mother to 2 of them and she has asked me to be god mother to her baby son over Christmas. She is one of the few who knows our story and I am dreading seeing and meeting the baby. It just feels to much.

So all in all I am feeling pretty crap and sad. OH is of course feeling the same.

Neyite

Oh Caroline, I think you both are so strong. You are such a solid couple but its no wonder that you both were at the end of your tether after an evening like that. She sounds like a horrible old bag. :mad:

Do you think counselling would help you both? It sounds like you both communicate very well and are a brilliant support to each other but the ongoing stress of what you have gone through cant be easy.

Penny Dreadful

carolinespring wrote: »

Feeling very upset today. We should be back trying again but just didn't last night, had a crap weekend.

It was my Mum's birthday at the weekend and we went to a family dinner. My auld cow of a aunt makes a comment about how "we" have no family and that Christmas is not for the "likes of us" only families with Children. I looked at her and said "are you saying that Husband and I are not a family or that we would only be if we had children" The auld bag says you are selfish in your ways and spoiled by the good life to have had a family. You like the high life. I repeated are you saying "are you saying that Husband and I are not a family or that we would only be if we had children" so she goes "I am" I told her she would want to think long and hard on that cop on.

Well, that went pretty hard. I just got up and walked out. I could hear my husband going for F**k sake. on the long drive home I was trying to be upbeat but feeling far from it and my husband comes out with " Another f**king Christmas with the same old s***e, I was sure we would have a baby" I said I know and he was ranting about my aunt and what a cow she was and I was saying yes, she is but she had a hard life with limited life experience, that she is thoughtless and mean, has no social graces and it broke out to World war 3. We never row but dear god. it was the mother of all rows. Ended with us not talking. Only just talking now. Which was very hard as we never row.

We should have been back on duty last night but not a chance, We are both to raw. The stress is getting to us and we are so aware of my age. Of course we all know people who have kids in mid/late 40's but it gets harder

Wasn't made any better yesterday when I bumped into a girl I know who had to tell me how lucky I am that I don't have to worry about the cost of Christmas and the pressure of having kids and the worry of them. That I can head where I please. I did point out nicely that this wasn't the case and everyone has there own problems and she should not comment like that. Which to be fair to her she did take on board.

Also my best friend is coming home from Canada with her husband and 4 kids on the 19th. I am good Mother to 2 of them and she has asked me to be god mother to her baby son over Christmas. She is one of the few who knows our story and I am dreading seeing and meeting the baby. It just feels to much.

So all in all I am feeling pretty crap and sad. OH is of course feeling the same.

Sometimes it can take all your self control to not turn to someone like your aunt and say "go f**k yourself you miserable old crone".
Then you remember you were brought up not dragged up and don't. The thought of doing it is quite delicious though.

I've had fights like that with my husband sometimes too and they have been so angry and hurtful that its almost difficult to believe that its me/him being that mean to each other.
When the red mist passes and I get some distance from the heat of the argument I realise that I wasn't that angry at him for doing / not doing xyz but an anger/ frustration at the situation.
You sound like you have a great, really solid relationship with your husband and possibly the heat of the fight came from both of you feeling worn out with TTC and as always we tend to get most angry and say the worst things to the people we love the most ........because we know that they are the very ones who see us (as we see them) at their best and their worst and love them no less because of that.

Neyite wrote: »

Oh Caroline, I think you both are so strong. You are such a solid couple but its no wonder that you both were at the end of your tether after an evening like that. She sounds like a horrible old bag. :mad:

Do you think counselling would help you both? It sounds like you both communicate very well and are a brilliant support to each other but the ongoing stress of what you have gone through cant be easy.[/QUOTE]

This sounds like a really good idea and is something I've thought can be really useful. I think that we (men and women) go through the TTC process in very different ways and it takes it toll in different ways too. Women, even if the physical issue lies with the man (e.g. low sperm count, low motility, etc) experience the brunt of the testing, the trying, the needles, the hormones, etc, etc. Then there is the reminder that it didn't happen again when you get your period and that lovely reminder is there every time you go to the bathroom.......just in case you might forget for a minute. :rolleyes:, etc, etc.
I think that men can sometimes feel useless along this path, they see their wife/partner endure all of this and there is little they can do to take that away or to sholder the burden of it. There are only so many cups of tea a girl can drink;).There may be a feeling of failure in terms of their masculinity, etc and often times the recognising of this or articulating of this is all but impossible for them or if they can they don't want to add to the burden.
Talking to or through a third party can be a great way to help them and both of the people invoved work their way through it. I often think TTC, certainly when it becomes long term TTC is in some ways a grieving process. I've lost enough people in my life to not say that glibly but we all started out on this road with a light step and being filled with hope and anticipation.........you get a long way down it and thats knocked out of you. You're grieving almost for the plans you had and the life you expected to have as a result of your baby. You know it could still happen so its not something you're going to be able to close the door on and so each month that it doesn't happen the process starts again.

Melissa30

Caroline I am so sorry to hear that, people can be thoughtless and mean. I wish they would all mind their own business.

I got on well (I think) at my appointment. My AMH is 24.5, dont know much about levels but I think thats ok. He didnt seem worried anyway.

I am booked in for a lap and dye in early March. Glad to get the ball rolling.

bobskii

What a horrible woman,no wonder you blew your top,trying to bite your tongue with her caused that row so just let It pass.

Take a month off I kno it's easier said than done with all that goes on in your head but try . start afresh next month . New year new month.

Hollywood130

Some people are very very thoughtless, we all know that but my God for someone to call you selfish. You should NEVER be mean to anyone else when you have absolutely no idea what is going on in their lives. Some people are just good at shouting their mouths off and don't stop to think they may be causing pain with their words.

My partners cousin had a baby boy the other day, it was like such a kick in the teeth for me, she didn't even want a baby, she has trouble looking after the other 3 kids that she has. my mother-in-law has been going on and on and on and on etc about this baby since it was born, telling my every little detail and she knows I'm trying, I'm so very close to telling her I DON'T CARE, granted yes I'm happy their both healthy but that's as far as it goes, I probably sound like a horrible person but at the moment I'm not happy with the hand I've been dealt. I'm so fed up of hearing about all my friends being pregnant, afraid I'll never hear me say the words.
Today is day 18 for me, going to the hospital to get bloods done (again) to see if I'm ovulating, due back in Galway in January. Have to phone them on the first day of my period to arrange a HSG although I'm not sure if it will happen as it'll be some of the days over xmas.

pennyloves

You poor thing, I think we all have someone like your aunty in our lives. It just makes things that much harder when you're fighting with the only other person on the planet that feels the same way as you do. Christmas is such an awful time when you're hopelessly trying for a baby because you can't get away from images, conversations etc about the perfect little family Christmas. I have made my new year's resolution already and that is to stop putting my life on hold and living in the future because when I do that I set myself up for nothing but disappointmentand heartbreak. II know you've had a nightmare of a weekend but go home tonight and have a lovely dinner and a few glasses of wine with your best friend. It sounds like you both need it and you never know what might happen; ) just know that we are all going through the same crap and we understand how hard things can get. We'll all get there some day x

Hollywood130

Feeling a bit depressed the past 2 days, ok I got my period so that always causes a stir, there is babies being born all around me, 3 I know so far, latest one yesterday, it's so tough, feel a bit sick at the thought of it all, trying so hard to stay positive, 2014 will bring good things!
Was supposed to get a HSG but can't this month because it's Christmas and I can't get an appointment, that's another month with no answers
Sorry guys I know it's Christmas and here I am having a moan :-(

Lucyfur

Hollywood130 wrote: »

Feeling a bit depressed the past 2 days, ok I got my period so that always causes a stir, there is babies being born all around me, 3 I know so far, latest one yesterday, it's so tough, feel a bit sick at the thought of it all, trying so hard to stay positive, 2014 will bring good things!
Was supposed to get a HSG but can't this month because it's Christmas and I can't get an appointment, that's another month with no answers
Sorry guys I know it's Christmas and here I am having a moan :-(

This is one place you don't have to apologise for having a moan

Hollywood130

Thanks Lucyfur :-)

Lucyfur

I'm out. Again.

I was pretty fecking devastated yesterday but I'm grand again today