how many children did you want to have and how many did you have

mcgiggles

Himself would have 7 if he was let :-) being a middle child i would like 2 or 4, but in fairness after having a miscarriage at 28 any number at all would be brilliant, just turned 32, getting married this year so hoping to get pregnant as easily as the last time! Honeymoon baby all the way *fingers crossed*

catrionanic

We only had our first in January, but this is a common topic of disagreement in our house! Husband is from the uk, where everyone seems to stop after two, and he only wants two. I've always fancied having 4 or 5, but he's adamant that we won't as they're too expensive. I felt pretty rubbish all pregnancy, which also makes me think twice about it.

I'm hoping we might compromise on 3.

CelticRambler

saggycaggy wrote: »

Any profound advice for us with young kids/newborns that are scared of coping-financially/mentally/emotionally etc??

Treat it as one great adventure! I had zero interest in, and zero experience of, babies/children until MrsCR got pregnant. Sure, in a typical Irish extended family, there were always loads of little people around, but they were just background noise to be filtered out. :rolleyes:

Then SonNo.1 was born and it was great! Kind of like having a cat, but messier. :pac: MrsCR & I divided the night duties - she did the first part, and I did from 2ish till 7ish coz I could get back to sleep more easily than she could. And she had a no-babies half-day every Wednesday and every Saturday when she could/would/did do anything she wanted (as long as she was home by 7am the next day so I could go to work! )

I never understand the "children are so expensive" argument, though. They fit in, and cost next-to-nothing unless you choose to spend a fortune on them. In fact, with your very generous childrens allowance in Ireland, you should be able to make a profit! :cool:

Bandana boy

We have serious overpopulation in the world and I am so surprised to see so many people seemingly oblivious and wanting to contribute to this problem by having more than 2 kids.

1 or Zero you're the hero
2 At least you're not making things worse
3 or more you're the problem , your genes are not that special keep it in your pants !

Masala

I am currently at other end of scale with my 2 kids now nearly grown up.

There are both still at 3rd level college (18 and 20 yrs)... and still living at home.

We are in our late 50s ourselves and just love having them around...we all like best mates rather than a family.

BUT..... we had 20 yrs of tough times financially. We still needed 2 cars etc and money was tight. The BIG elephant in the room is the cost of 3rd level college - especially if you do not live in Dublin, Cork, Limerick or Galway.

Year 1 of college is €10,000 CASH out of your pocket for each child.....year 2 is move 5000-6000 all in. that is some amount of cash to have set aside for 4 years - JUST FOR 1 CHILD!!

So.... be warned....put that Children's Allowance away in a PO savings account and do not touch til they are 18yrs!

Permabear

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Baby01032012

Permabear wrote: »

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Wow...from wanting none to having 4. How is it working out...has it changed your attitude to having kids?

We ended up with 2. No plans for more. Couldn't manage it physically mentally or money wise. Bought my 5 year old new bed at weekend...he and I didn't sleep from 3am...on way home from work hoping for a better night!

CelticRambler

Bandana boy wrote: »

We have serious overpopulation in the world ...

No, we don't.

Serious problem with the sharing of resources, but that's mainly the Yanks being greedy.

Here, in Europe, there's a shortage of future tax-payers, so those of us producing >3 children are actually being socially responsible!

Permabear

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monkeysnapper

saggycaggy wrote: »

Here's my update...............only 3 years later and pregnant on the third:P!! Freaking out about having a third-mostly financial but i'd hate to have regrets also.

We were same , didn't want a third because we couldn't afford it but played a very dangerous game and nature took it's course .

We don't regret curly haired number 3 saggycaddy , he's completed our house .

He had a burst appendix in Jan this year and we spent 2 weeks in Crumlin with him . He had us both worried sick .

eviltwin

No change here since posting 4 yrs ago. I've now got a 20 yr old who is moving abroad in September and a 7 year old and definitely we don't want anymore. We are loving being out of the small child stage and having a bit more time to ourselves. Definitely agree they cost a fortune as they get older, college expenses are a killer.

saggycaggy

monkeysnapper wrote: »

We were same , didn't want a third because we couldn't afford it but played a very dangerous game and nature took it's course .

We don't regret curly haired number 3 saggycaddy , he's completed our house .

He had a burst appendix in Jan this year and we spent 2 weeks in Crumlin with him . He had us both worried sick .

Thanks Monkeysnapper, awe I hope he recovered well from the burst appendix. I've now doubt we'll love this baby so so much once he/she arrives and even though this baby was planned I just keep thinking of the negatives instead of the positives which isn't fair on the baby. But lovely to hear how happy things worked out for you after your little surprise.

Moonbeam

looking back on the thread it is going on a while:)

I always wanted 4 and have 4,they are 8,6,4 and 3 and well it is busy and tiring but I am so glad that I got what I wanted.

Madam Oblong

Wanted 3. Have 1. Will probably end up having 2.

shesty

Have 2, want 3....hopefully soon!I'd consider four but really I don't know if I can do that to myself.
As for the cost,I stopped counting sometime around when we got a childminder!I'm all for having them close together to get it all over and done with as quickly as possible.
Married to an only.....it has it's tough moments.

mirrorwall14

I wanted two, husband leaning towards three. Wanted them very close in age. Life got in the way though I have a 2.5 year old, a house purchase last year, a recent miscarriage and I'm laid up after a foot operation so it'll be another month at least before we try again. I still want a second but finding the notion of trying and not getting pregnant or getting pregnant both equally terrifying after the miscarriage so I'm not looking forward to pregnancy. Love my boy though and want a second for him and us

jlm29

I wanted lots! My oh was adamant that 2 was plenty, but agreed to a third. No 3 is a week old, and sometimes I think 3 is just right. Other times I get so sad when I think this might be our last! My oh is a few years older than me though, and I can understand him feeling done! They're also quite expensive too, I don't want them drawing straws for swimming lessons and college educations!

Homesick Alien

After 2 you have to go from man marking to zonal marking.

Innocent123

Homesick Alien wrote: »

After 2 you have to go from man marking to zonal marking.

Had always thought big family, but started late, have two happy healthy children now and we're happy with that.

Once the second arrived the above did come into the discussion...

Rubberlegs

I never had a number in my head when it came to children. I had the first young, she is almost 24. I wasn't in any hurry for another so 7 yrs later the next arrived , 17 today . There were a lot of medical issues with her as a baby and small child, some ongoing now. We had to think long and hard about having another as there was a small chance another child could have the same disability. Took the chance and now have a healthy, wired to the moon 5 yr old who has me mentally exhausted but wouldn't swop her for the world. Definitely no more!

nikkisclearout

seosamh1980 wrote: »

Just for anyone with or planning an only child. I am one, and I never felt lonely growing up, and I was the only grandchild too for a long time. Sure I didn't know any different, how could I feel I was missing something? I had plenty of friends, I had a great vocabulary from playing and talking with adults all the time and from reading so much. I am well able to function with my own company and never had any problems entertaining myself, I was very creative and had a great imagination, all things that have stood to me as an adult.

Having siblings doesn't guarantee that you will get on with them does it? Plenty of people can still be lonely growing up with a sibling or more.

Edit: Actually also, you have no idea how amazing Christmas and birthdays are when you are the only child and grandchild, *showered* with love, cuddles and gifts

As a parent of an only child thank you! So sick of people saying "an only child is a money child" and "he needs pals" etc etc etc.

Like yourself he has cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents and is by no means lonely.

We have been able to give him some fantastic experiences which we may not have been able to give had we more than one.

He is far from spoiled and is a great young lad who you can bring anywhere!

So nice to see a positive post rather than someone attacking and generalising only children

nikkisclearout

seosamh1980 wrote: »

Just for anyone with or planning an only child. I am one, and I never felt lonely growing up, and I was the only grandchild too for a long time. Sure I didn't know any different, how could I feel I was missing something? I had plenty of friends, I had a great vocabulary from playing and talking with adults all the time and from reading so much. I am well able to function with my own company and never had any problems entertaining myself, I was very creative and had a great imagination, all things that have stood to me as an adult.

Having siblings doesn't guarantee that you will get on with them does it? Plenty of people can still be lonely growing up with a sibling or more.

Edit: Actually also, you have no idea how amazing Christmas and birthdays are when you are the only child and grandchild, *showered* with love, cuddles and gifts

As a parent of an only child thank you! So sick of people saying "an only child is a money child" and "he needs pals" etc etc etc.

Like yourself he has cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents and is by no means lonely.

We have been able to give him some fantastic experiences which we may not have been able to give had we more than one.

He is far from spoiled and is a great young lad who you can bring anywhere!

So nice to see a positive post rather than someone attacking and generalising only children

mark_jmc

we always planned on 2 but unfortunately after 4 rounds of IVF we are still childless. We are giving it one more go and if that doesn't work then we are calling it a day. Very sad but the last few years have taught us that there are worse things in life

Neyite

Wanted maybe 3.

Have one and have called it a day in that regard.

Aveen

It's a hard decision for many a reason.
Personally I'd love three, hubby only wants two. My heart says one thing and head another but not ready to make finial decision (I'm turning 34)

LirW

Wanted two, have two, we're done.

mojesius

We want two, just married and im in early pregnancy stages with the first. Hoping to have a second quite soon afterwards as im 34 and husband is 41 but we know that reality can get in the way of plans and hopes...Fingers crossed!

caniask86

I didn't want any but I have one son. He is our world. Had a miscarriage last year at 3mnths. Think at 33 it feels to late to start again. Having one has lots of positives. We can afford more Hollidays and save for future.
Although lots of positives about big families too and life isn't all about money.

AidanadiA

Wanted before I had a child ~ 0
Wanted after I had a child ~ 1
Have ~ 1

Happy with what I've got!

ShaShaBear

We've two little girls. Eldest about to turn 3 and her sister will be 2 in December. Want two more. Might even consider a fifth! I'm 29, so plenty of time and finances aren't an issue (although family holidays might be )
Hubby totally on board, we dote on our kids and I adore being pregnant and having little babies!