concerned about how I'm handling bullying situation

LegacyUser

I've posted before about a bullying experience I've faced in my current job. I'm job hunting at the moment and with the help of a counsellor (HR approved) have been trying to be more assertive at work. I woudnt have said I was non assertive, but my bullying coworkers are fairly obstructive and passive/aggressive, and I find it hard to deal with such negative behaviour on a daily basis.

I'm posting today because my efforts to be more assertive seem to have been noticed, but has rattled a few cages and I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm very concerned that any change in my attitude not be arrogant or aggressive, and am trying hard not to seem that way. A couple of examples are: I've been left out of training arrangements and have invited myself along (took HUGE effort on my part to approach the person responsible and do this), and a recent one involved me refusing to be spoken down to about a day-to-day task in front of the group, but later on being challenged while I was alone about "whether something is wrong" with me. On the one hand I'm happy I'm not letting myself get walked all over, and it's been noted (it is kind of funny to me too); on the other hand I'm a bit insulted that there must be "something wrong" with me for me to speak out. I feel I handled that second part ok too, I held my ground, and pointed out that I was asking an innocent question and know how to do my job.

After all this time of being belittled, I'm unsure how to read the situation now. I'm a bit afraid that I'll actually be targeted even more, if that makes sense and would love to hear any advice or insight people have as regards how to conduct myself. I really dont want to make everything an argument in work either, but I'm reluctant at this point to sit back and hope I've done enough to get them to back off. It feels a bit like secondary school!

I'm delighted that I'm standing up for myself more, and that it hasnt gone unnoticed. The experiences I've had in this place have been mostly: ask question, get spoken down to; work hard, get work nitpicked; voice an opinion, be disrespected. That sort of thing, which over time is draining and affects confidence. Other people have had this too, not just me.

Honey-ec

You're overthinking this. You've started reacting differently to their behaviour and they've noticed, that's all.

Just continue doing what you're doing, and stop worrying about "being targeted more". They'll soon realise that this change in your behaviour isn't just an anomaly, and adjust their own behaviour accordingly, most likely by moving on to someone they perceive as an easier target. Obnoxious people are often quite taken aback when they're met with anything other than their expected reaction.

LegacyUser

Thanks, I was hoping that was it really. What you've said is exactly what I'd say to someone too, it's weird when you're stuck in the middle of a situation though!