No Sleep and No Coffee Makes Parents Something Something

javagal

Just had my first experience of a very high temperature with my 16month old, brought her to out of hours doc and she has a very bad chest infection. He gave us antibiotics,steroids and inhalers. Oh and paralink suppositories, not a hope in hell or earth will they be allowed.

Emmadilema123

javagal wrote: »

Just had my first experience of a very high temperature with my 16month old, brought her to out of hours doc and she has a very bad chest infection. He gave us antibiotics,steroids and inhalers. Oh and paralink suppositories, not a hope in hell or earth will they be allowed.

I always give it to my son during a nappy changing and put it in sudocream lol I do have to wait a minute though because he does try to push it back out. It's worth it though they are so good

MurdyWurdy

javagal wrote: »

Just had my first experience of a very high temperature with my 16month old, brought her to out of hours doc and she has a very bad chest infection. He gave us antibiotics,steroids and inhalers. Oh and paralink suppositories, not a hope in hell or earth will they be allowed.

Poor thing it must have been a bit scary for you as well.

Nikpump - I get like that sometimes too, not able to go asleep after J has been up. I can't switch off. J woke up at 2am and I kept getting him back asleep, putting him back down, only to have him wake up 5 minutes later. I gave up in the end and took him in the bed next to me. Thank God it's Saturday and his daddy can take over do I can go back asleep soon!

Gee_G

javagal wrote: »

Just had my first experience of a very high temperature with my 16month old, brought her to out of hours doc and she has a very bad chest infection. He gave us antibiotics,steroids and inhalers. Oh and paralink suppositories, not a hope in hell or earth will they be allowed.

Javagal I had that a few weeks ago with my almost 16month too. Scary stuff! We ended up in A&E getting tests done as he also got a rash and they wanted to rule out meningitis. Scary scary!
Suppositories would not work here I'd say, he's as cute he probably wouldn't let me near his bum at all cos he'd cop I was doing something!! But we found overlapping the Calpol and Nurofen and not letting it lapse at all did the job great too!

yellow hen

Bronchiolitis here too have had a horrible few days and nights with little one. Poor mite just cannot breathe so he has had sod all sleep for the last few days. Took him to our if hours doc today and were told to monitor him and if it gets worse to take him to crumlin immediately.

I actually found the paralinks suppositories excellent... Much better than calpol or neurofen and very easy to administer (I had been dreading that bit!)

loubian

I'm awake at 3am not because of A but because I'm only home! I hope I'm not in bits tomorrow! :P

Emmadilema123

yellow hen wrote: »

Bronchiolitis here too have had a horrible few days and nights with little one. Poor mite just cannot breathe so he has had sod all sleep for the last few days. Took him to our if hours doc today and were told to monitor him and if it gets worse to take him to crumlin immediately.

I actually found the paralinks suppositories excellent... Much better than calpol or neurofen and very easy to administer (I had been dreading that bit!)

Oh god it seems like everyone's little people are having respiratory probs recently. My little one had a horrible phlegm cough for a few days but no temp and mood was fine so took the wait and see approach and thank god it cleared. Hope your little guy is on the mend soon :-(

wolfpawnat

I am back, and I didn't commit murder, even though I have been called "Two-Tonne Tessie"......such a nice woman. Kids came back all out of sorts, baby didn't sleep and son was spoilt and whiny. It'll take days to be back to normal.

January

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I am back, and I didn't commit murder, even though I have been called "Two-Tonne Tessie"......such a nice woman. Kids came back all out of sorts, baby didn't sleep and son was spoilt and whiny. It'll take days to be back to normal.

Nope, I'd have punched her. You should have.

yellow hen

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I am back, and I didn't commit murder, even though I have been called "Two-Tonne Tessie"......such a nice woman. Kids came back all out of sorts, baby didn't sleep and son was spoilt and whiny. It'll take days to be back to normal.

I missed earlier posts, were you staying with her? Honestly, can you just visit once a month or even less? She doesn't deserve to see you all. Awful woman.

Suucee

Wolf you have more patience than a saint. Seriously does your OH realise how lucky he is that you put up with that from his mother . My god id be in prison long ago

Emmadilema123

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I am back, and I didn't commit murder, even though I have been called "Two-Tonne Tessie"......such a nice woman. Kids came back all out of sorts, baby didn't sleep and son was spoilt and whiny. It'll take days to be back to normal.

That is disgusting carry on from any lady. You couldn't actually even call her a lady! Fair play to you for taking the high road! I'm actually appalled! You shouldn't have to take that from anyone. Is there no one there to have a word with her?

nikpmup

What a class A wench. I hope you spent the weekend sneaking in loads of sugar coated passive-aggressiveness.

wolfpawnat

For the record, himself got as much abuse. Apparently he is anorexic and I am starving him (he eats 6 times a day and at 64kg himself can squat over 100kg, so he is very healthy). And we always get each others backs.

We only go down when we need to these days, if the lads have a 30th, the Christening and we are going for xmas, only because his sister won't be there (she makes the mother worse) and she should behave because she knows I will just take the kids and leave, we are going from xmas eve til 27th. We can do 3 days.

I feel down about my weight at the moment, but the rule with her is never let her think she has hit on a sore spot.

Hopefully the small fella will be better behaved tomorrow after a good nights sleep at home, I hate when he comes home from there, she won't even let him dress himself (he's 5 in Feb) and he becomes a whinger.

I know most of you are wondering why the hell we put up with this, but we actually have a genuine reason (but only until after xmas)

nikpmup

Put the rhyme about Jack Spratt on her Christmas card Seriously tho, what a pass remarkable twit. It's good that your husband knows what she's like and has your back. You've better patience than me!

ncmc

wolfpawnat wrote: »

For the record, himself got as much abuse. Apparently he is anorexic and I am starving him (he eats 6 times a day and at 64kg himself can squat over 100kg, so he is very healthy). And we always get each others backs.

We only go down when we need to these days, if the lads have a 30th, the Christening and we are going for xmas, only because his sister won't be there (she makes the mother worse) and she should behave because she knows I will just take the kids and leave, we are going from xmas eve til 27th. We can do 3 days.

I feel down about my weight at the moment, but the rule with her is never let her think she has hit on a sore spot.

Hopefully the small fella will be better behaved tomorrow after a good nights sleep at home, I hate when he comes home from there, she won't even let him dress himself (he's 5 in Feb) and he becomes a whinger.

I know most of you are wondering why the hell we put up with this, but we actually have a genuine reason (but only until after xmas)

I'm not a new mum (pregnant with my first though) but have been following this thread as a preperation of sorts! I have to say, I have been wondering why you are putting up with the behaviour of this woman. If you feel it's something you need to do for some reason, then that's fair enough. But honestly, some people are just toxic and as difficult as it is, the best decision sometimes is just to cut them off. I can't believe any woman would make a comment on a new mothers weight - the mind just boggles - and did I read something a while back about her calling social services?

Obviously I don't know the whole story, but I think you really need to consider cutting this woman out of your life after Christmas. Dealing with that can only be bad for you, your partner and ultimately your children. Best of luck with her over Christmas, you are a very patient lady! I for one will never give out about my MIL again!

Emmadilema123

wolfpawnat wrote: »

For the record, himself got as much abuse. Apparently he is anorexic and I am starving him (he eats 6 times a day and at 64kg himself can squat over 100kg, so he is very healthy). And we always get each others backs.

We only go down when we need to these days, if the lads have a 30th, the Christening and we are going for xmas, only because his sister won't be there (she makes the mother worse) and she should behave because she knows I will just take the kids and leave, we are going from xmas eve til 27th. We can do 3 days.

I feel down about my weight at the moment, but the rule with her is never let her think she has hit on a sore spot.

Hopefully the small fella will be better behaved tomorrow after a good nights sleep at home, I hate when he comes home from there, she won't even let him dress himself (he's 5 in Feb) and he becomes a whinger.

I know most of you are wondering why the hell we put up with this, but we actually have a genuine reason (but only until after xmas)

I for one applaud you for being so patient and not reacting. It's very easy to go crackers but biting your tongue is a real sign of character especially if your doing it for your other halfs sake. No matter how nasty she is to you both it's gotta to be so hurtful for him to have his own flesh and blood treat him and the mother of his child like that. I'd say it breaks his heart and I'm sure your support and patience means the world to him.

pwurple

wolfpawnat wrote: »

For the record, himself got as much abuse. Apparently he is anorexic and I am starving him (he eats 6 times a day and at 64kg himself can squat over 100kg, so he is very healthy). And we always get each others backs.

That's not abuse at him, that's more abuse for you for 'not looking after him'. I get that all the time too. Mr pwurple has been gradually losing weight for about a year with some effort in jogging and a sensible diet. All his own idea, and i don't think it's even possible to nag anyone into that kind of sustained effort. He is about 3kg from his goal (which is a BMI of 26).

Every SINGLE time I meet the mother-in-law she gives me the talk about how worried she is about his weight loss. Asks what I am feeding him. Tells me he has "heavy bones".

wolfpawnat

Had a long reply typed but forgot to click post before leaving to get the shopping, shutdown the computer before I did so, genius!

Sure it is over now. We are going for the most minimal of xmas, Xmas eve until the day after Stephen's day. While there, we are going to tell her she is at the brink of losing her only family that are willing to be around her, and all access to her grandchildren. We are not doing it as blackmail, We just feel she is not a good person to have in their lives if she cannot nurture them. She is very critical and fickle, and we don't want that for them. If she chooses to continue, then we will have to get them away from her. We don't want to have to do it. I had to get rid of my own mother from my life for being dangerously controlling, we don't want them to lose two grandmothers due to their different forms of madness.

And my anger moment of the day, Saoirse has had nappy rash for 6 weeks!!!! Took her to the doc again last week for it, and she gave me an antibiotic cream. Spend all week washing her bum in baking soda baths, loads of air (she peed on my duvet!!!) and cream and it was nearly gone, I could see non-red bum, put a different cream on her last night and it went back to bleeding and red raw. I cried! Back to the doc I went. Same again for a week, but no other creams than Morhulin and silcock's base. On the up side, my constant visits means she didn't charge me, but I rather pay 1000e than have my poor little girl so sore. She smiles and doesn't cry, but I refuse to believe it isn't sore.

nikpmup

wolfpawnat wrote: »

And my anger moment of the day, Saoirse has had nappy rash for 6 weeks!!!! Took her to the doc again last week for it, and she gave me an antibiotic cream. Spend all week washing her bum in baking soda baths, loads of air (she peed on my duvet!!!) and cream and it was nearly gone, I could see non-red bum, put a different cream on her last night and it went back to bleeding and red raw. I cried! Back to the doc I went. Same again for a week, but no other creams than Morhulin and silcock's base. On the up side, my constant visits means she didn't charge me, but I rather pay 1000e than have my poor little girl so sore. She smiles and doesn't cry, but I refuse to believe it isn't sore.

Your poor little lady, that sounds awful for her.

loubian

A woke at four, and her hands were ice cold, checked her chest n she wasn't as warm as i would have liked so I took her into the bed to warm up. Put her back down n she was nearly asleep when the usual dodie cry happened. Was paranoid she'd get cold again so I took her into the bed again with the intention of leaving her there. She wouldn't settle, n after 15 mins put her back in the cot. This was about 5 o clock. She wouldn't settle again n began to make her hungry noise even though she wasn't hungry when she woke and should have gone back to sleep. Cue me going down for a bottle. Finished bottle and nappy changing about 5.35 and she's only falling asleep now. I'm afraid to even move in case I wake her - my bed is very noisy. It's my fault for taking her in and out of the bed but it resulted in me being awake for two hours. . . And now I'm the one who is starving!

Neyite

wolfpawnat wrote: »

Had a long reply typed but forgot to click post before leaving to get the shopping, shutdown the computer before I did so, genius!

Sure it is over now. We are going for the most minimal of xmas, Xmas eve until the day after Stephen's day. While there, we are going to tell her she is at the brink of losing her only family that are willing to be around her, and all access to her grandchildren. We are not doing it as blackmail, We just feel she is not a good person to have in their lives if she cannot nurture them. She is very critical and fickle, and we don't want that for them. If she chooses to continue, then we will have to get them away from her. We don't want to have to do it. I had to get rid of my own mother from my life for being dangerously controlling, we don't want them to lose two grandmothers due to their different forms of madness.

But you are not doing anything. Its her actions that have caused this. Lets face it, if she is too toxic for adults to handle, then she is far too toxic for children. No grandmother is far better than one that excels in causing misery.

Susan Foreword has a great series of books about managing toxic people and managing your own emotions around their best efforts at tearing people apart. Toxic Parents and Toxic In-Laws are two in particular that you might find interesting. It seems like you'd be fine to leave her behind, but I'm sure it must be very hard for your partner to come to that kind of decision, so maybe reading up on it might be a help for him.

wolfpawnat

Neyite wrote: »

Susan Foreword has a great series of books about managing toxic people and managing your own emotions around their best efforts at tearing people apart. Toxic Parents and Toxic In-Laws are two in particular that you might find interesting. It seems like you'd be fine to leave her behind, but I'm sure it must be very hard for your partner to come to that kind of decision, so maybe reading up on it might be a help for him.

Surprisingly it is him pushing more with this as time goes on. She was like this all of his life and the more she is like that with the kids, the more angry and adamant he is about it going ahead. He doesn't want them to endure what he endured and I respect that.

Sweet_pea

Not quite a new mom yet (due next week)...

I'd just be very careful of cutting her out completely Wolfpawnet, not sure if she is the type but grandparents (or anyone for that matter) appear to have more rights these days re access through the courts.

It's all well and good for some to say just cut her out of your life but (as you well know) it's not always as easy as that.

I've got a couple of people in my life like her and I had them at a manageable length pre pregnancy but now with the impending birth they are getting out of hand again. Already having issues imposing a no visitors rule for the few days post birth because of people and their supposed rights.

uck51js9zml2yt

loubian wrote: »

A woke at four, and her hands were ice cold, checked her chest n she wasn't as warm as i would have liked so I took her into the bed to warm up. Put her back down n she was nearly asleep when the usual dodie cry happened. Was paranoid she'd get cold again so I took her into the bed again with the intention of leaving her there. She wouldn't settle, n after 15 mins put her back in the cot. This was about 5 o clock. She wouldn't settle again n began to make her hungry noise even though she wasn't hungry when she woke and should have gone back to sleep. Cue me going down for a bottle. Finished bottle and nappy changing about 5.35 and she's only falling asleep now. I'm afraid to even move in case I wake her - my bed is very noisy. It's my fault for taking her in and out of the bed but it resulted in me being awake for two hours. . . And now I'm the one who is starving!

put gloves on her hands at night keep them warm.
A took 120 ml at 7 and again at 9 last night. Got bad pains but he settled on me and I got to bed at 1.he was awake at 3.30 and 7 for another feed. meanwhile my wife slept!

bp

Sweet_pea wrote: »

Not quite a new mom yet (due next week)...

I'd just be very careful of cutting her out completely Wolfpawnet, not sure if she is the type but grandparents (or anyone for that matter) appear to have more rights these days re access through the courts.

It's all well and good for some to say just cut her out of your life but (as you well know) it's not always as easy as that.

I've got a couple of people in my life like her and I had them at a manageable length pre pregnancy but now with the impending birth they are getting out of hand again. Already having issues imposing a no visitors rule for the few days post birth because of people and their supposed rights.

Good luck with the new arrival. We imposed a 2 week no visitor rule unless invited. We just told everyone that we won't be opening the door and not to ring the bell in case the baby was sleeping. After a week we started inviting people over.

I think you guys just need to be firm....open door: oh I am sorry mammy and baby are finally getting some sleep, why don't I ring you when it's a more suitable time to call over!

Even our lovely postman only knocked on the window if he needed us so as not to wake the baby

nikpmup

My son just farted in my face. To be fair, I was closely examining his bum for signs of rash at the time, but still.

wolfpawnat

Sweet_pea wrote: »

I'd just be very careful of cutting her out completely Wolfpawnet, not sure if she is the type but grandparents (or anyone for that matter) appear to have more rights these days re access through the courts.

Thankfully she has shown her true colours in front of too many people for her to get that if she wanted. She constantly ringing social services complaining us and the like, so that helps proving herself to be mad. Also if a court heard the horrifically abusive things she said to my son and myself at the weekend, and allowed access, I would sue the court system if I had to.

Sweet_pea wrote: »

Already having issues imposing a no visitors rule for the few days post birth because of people and their supposed rights.

The only people who matter is you, the baby and the father (if he is involved). I actually refused to answer the door more than once. Even after telling my father I was not going to answer the door if he came, his wife arrived up from Cork to Dublin and I stayed true to my word. I understand people are dying to see new arrivals or are trying to help. But if you want space, you have to enforce it. If it were me (we are all different people) I would state politely and firmly. "We are having no visitors for X amount of days, you will be left at the door. I understand your excitement about the baby, but we need to get ourselves sorted and after that we would love to see you." If they argue, I would calmly say "It's not up for discussion" and leave it at that.

But it is easy for everyone else to give that advice from their laptops away from the situation, I hope they respect your wishes. And I hope you have a easy delivery

Sweet_pea

Yeah I have to try and figure something out, I mean my friends are so excited to see the boy but all rational people who understand they wait till I invite them round.

Unfortunately the few I have a problem with are incredible selfish and irrational and have already threaten me with court action to gain their "rights". I have no faith in the courts to be honest. Rights are earned, not a given.

Babies really show up the crazy in people I think.

Synyster Shadow

Had no sleep the last 3 nights with my little fella gettin his 3rd and 4th teeth!! He has the bottom two which are tiny and these two top ones are huge. Anyway on top of that he has started standing up on his own in his cot. At 8 months I'm impressed but then he took a tumble when he got brave and tried takin a step. Now he has a lump and a gash on his head. Brought him to be checked and he's fine but breaks my heart every time I look at him and his bruised lumpy cut

Feel awful it's the season for it I think :-(